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Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I don't know why but I'm more weirded out by the birth control pill at dinner story in the OP where her friend's partner says "We get it, you have sex" out of nowhere than most other stuff in this thread.
BF really missed a chance to slide in with "Tons, and it's all amazing"

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Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Can he not use lotion occasionally?
Dude's just weird. "I can't wet my hands once a day" isn't a medical condition that exists.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Just never poop.

It's not hard.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Chomp8645 posted:

That gamer rose up.
He says right in the post he stayed in the basement.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for disapproving of the age gap between my sister and hew new boyfriend?
Needs to quit being a cockblocker.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

ilmucche posted:

This is a pretty bad take if it was a 30 year old man dating a 19 year old woman. X/2 + 7 and all that
Yeah but it wasn't.

As long as nobody thinks the relationship is anything it isn't I don't see a problem. There's not any kind of weird power dynamic being explored and everyone is an adult so whatever.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Pie Colony posted:

What do you think the power dynamic between an older man and a younger woman actually is? Cause it's not about physical power. A 30 year old dating a 19 year old is bad. "everyone is an adult" lol
They could very well both be living with their parents and working at Wawa. Who cares if they wanna Netflix and chill? I mean, they shouldn't get married, but nobody said that's happening.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Leon Einstein posted:

To be clear, you wouldn't have an issue if the genders were reversed, right?
I probably would, but probably shouldn't.

What an awful fuckin snipe.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Everybody knows you get one free one "just to see"
Turns out the cops don't know that.

Bunch of ignorant prudes.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Clawtopsy posted:

"I will watch the child while you live here. Since your name isn't on the lease your poo poo's on the curb. Locks are changed. See you."
How to get reamed in court.txt

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Shbobdb posted:

Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the rear end Man, Dutch Apple rear end.
This was a loving war crime.

Mods!?!?

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Fatkraken posted:

everyone at my work just drinks instant
Chain the doors and burn it.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

teen witch posted:

Gurglespurt jeans
Tee with the stain (WITH THE STAIN)
got the whole club
Filling a complaint
:perfect:

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Rosalind posted:

Maybe he's doing it in that harassing way that foot pic guys do it where they send unsolicited creepy messages to every single woman begging for foot pics. No idea why it's always foot pic guys, but that's been my experience.
I'd bet that the hit rate on "Send feet!" is so low it's not worth the effort to do anything but just spam every girl you see. Kinda like Nigerian scams.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

hawowanlawow posted:

six is too old to be knocking over cupcake towers and punching them
Kid did the right thing. People got places to be.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Licarn posted:

In Eastern Europe this is very normal
Slav squatting in the woods with my pet bear and bag full of steelies.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

hawowanlawow posted:

years of staring into the abyss of the internet has given the denizens of this thread a ...unique perspective
Where my soul should be there is a howling void that can only be silenced with schadenfreude.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Fitzy Fitz posted:

I really want to read some in-depth work on the listless, gross dude phenomenon. Why can't some people get their poo poo together?
Lazy fucks raised by lazy fucks.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

I think people forget how easy it is for parents to weird up a kid without even trying. I have a thing against lights on the ceiling just because my mom did, because her mom did, because I guess having lamps was classier back in the 50s? I dunno, but it bothers me and my house is full of lamps.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

hawowanlawow posted:

minion bumper sticker haver spotted
My other car is a shitpost

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Beachcomber posted:

Do something inexpensive and pay for it yourself so you can ignore all other opinions.
Statistically speaking the optimal wedding venue is Taco Bell, and the guest list should be the entire town.

That all but guarantees a lasting marriage.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

bobjr posted:

For a second I thought that was father in laws so I got really confused why they would be homophobic.
I also thought this was a story about rabidly anti-lesbian gay dads.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Nastyman posted:

What is it that makes these idiots so confident that they think they can just throw on whatever tacticamo bullshit they find at goodwill along with grandpa's war medals and pass as a member of one of the most strictly regimented groups* in the country?
The best part of that one is the guy telling it is also not really in the army.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Serephina posted:

In case people don't know, the NZ airforce doesn't have any pew pew whatsoever (other than the small arms carried by personnel). As Rent-A-Cop said, it's very rich - not ironic, but something else quite saucy.
He claimed to be an "intel officer" (lol intel) in the "New Zealand Royal Army" which is not an organization that exists.

It's the NZDF or the New Zealand Army. No "Royal" and it's a meaningful distinction because something something Oliver Cromwell, but they take it seriously.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

kimbo305 posted:

So it's one of those spidermen pointing situations?
I think it's a redditor who has adopted my personal valor stealing strategy of "lol just claim to be a clerk or a truck driver. Nobody will ask any questions and you still get the free lunch."

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

I dunno, the military is an excellent source of incredible fuckup stories, no imperialism necessary
I knew a guy who got kicked out for being too stupid for the Marine Corps. Like, he didn't do a crime or just not re-enlist, he got the boot after two years for being so dumb they couldn't find a job he could do.

Nice enough guy, but impressively incompetent.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

I really want to be gay but I love my cowboy boots. Is there a place for me?

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

DoctorTristan posted:

Going by some of the stories I’ve heard about the USMC, are we talking ‘holds the wrong end of the rifle more than one time in three’ levels of stupid?
Would stand there and nod while you told him things, and then forget what he was supposed to be doing and wander off after about five minutes. He seemed all there when you talked to him, but just had zero ability to stick to a task or retain any information that wasn't related to himself. Also the single most incurious person I've ever met.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

welcome to hell posted:

AITA for donating sperm to women on websites that match free sperm donors with recipients, and intentionally omitting that my reason for doing it is to pass on my genes? submitted 2 months ago by Gjetjfxa to /r/AmItheAsshole


(NY) What should I expect with child support as a known sperm donor? I am *not* anonymous, and I went thru an alternative website for free donors. Recipient in FL. submitted 1 day ago by Gjetjfxa to /r/legaladvice
This poor idiot is so immensely hosed.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Foo Diddley posted:

Turns out that one of the reasons you go to a legit sperm bank is so that you can get those legal protections. I never knew that, but I definitely would have looked it up before handing out my jizz to randos on Facebook like this guy did
This guy made a previous post in r/legaladvice asking about this where everyone told him that.

He did it anyway lol.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

hawowanlawow posted:

how old is 15 really?
Libertarian spotted!

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Neito posted:

Reddit's refusal to just call it "loving" is one of the most adorably obnoxious things about the site.
So earlier today me [44m] and the platonic lady friend [19.5f] were talking the bonezone express to ladyparts station when...

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

It's mostly just boring nonsense.

L. Run Hubbard was a pretty mediocre author.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

D34THROW posted:

loving polyamory :psyduck: I can barely keep my loving wife happy, how in the gently caress do people manage more than one?
Everyone involved is crazy, nobody is happy.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Dazerbeams posted:

I’m wondering how successful a business model a women’s only gym could be. Could be quite lucrative if you have a grand opening in January to pull in all those new year’s resolutioners.
Isn't this just Curves?

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Hellblazer187 posted:

I've never invited a friend and paid for their meal - with friends the default has always been everyone pays for themselves. I don't know the difference between "Hey wanna meet up somewhere for dinner?" and inviting a friend to dinner. That sounds like the same thing.
:goonsay:

Beep boop all humans must purchase their own sustenance.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Hellblazer187 posted:

No the state should pay for all meals. Keep up.
Whatup Comrade Roboto?

Maybe I'm the weird one? I don't think anything at all of buying beers/lunch/whatever for a friend, and it's not like I'm Mr. Moneybags.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Dazerbeams posted:

Who has that kinda cash to throw around on a regular basis? I’d like to invite people over for dinner more often in non-potluck fashion and the expense is what stops me.
Learn to cook.

You can make a ridiculous shitload of a lot of meals for less than $10.

And then anyone who doesn't complement your cooking can be dramatically thrown out.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I'm not sure cannibalism is the answer.
It's one way to solve your relationship problems.

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Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my gf that her paintings are honestly not very good and super creepy? ]
What a loving tool. How do these people exist and why does anyone tolerate them?

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