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Hughlander
May 11, 2005

1redflag posted:

Dude’s dick must have been like a tree trunk for how hard she is pining for him

I know this was the end of page, but this needs more love.

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Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Bruceski posted:

I'm sure you could find people who have, but not as a rule. Who's been telling you this stuff?

Probably Henry Ford.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Miss posted:

I hope that woman never stops posting

It's amazing the percentage of her posts that have been on here already...

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for wanting to pay the actual price of a ticket instead of letting my boyfriend make a profit off of selling it to me?


And Darkness and Decay and Ticket Prices and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

Correct answer is who cares the ball is going to get canceled and he threw away the relationship over nothing.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

pentyne posted:

Did the "Travelers are such a rich and storied culture we've been horrifically oppressed and abused for centuries" guy get posted.

Because man, gently caress the Travelers. It's like a culture that revels in spitting in the face of civil behavior and treats theft and violent crime like a cultural right.

:justpost:

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

The Bee posted:

Really it depends where they're going. A 3rd world hellhole, like France?

Worse. Portland.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

nonathlon posted:

There's quite a few r/relationships posters who expect parents or siblings to raise their children. And I can't decide if they genuinely think that, or if it's a giant act to see what they can get away with, a sort of Overton window for parental responsibilities.

I don't know the whole thing was a weird post unless I missed something.

"Years ago my brother said something stupid and now I'm going to vent about it apropos of nothing." It's not even giving the ages or anything, "When I was 20 my 15 year old brother with his first GF then 14..." would mean something totally different than "My 32 year old brother and his 34 year old GF..." the whole thing feels like karmawhoring or I'm completely missreading it.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

There's clown unions?!!!

Not only are there Unions, there is a Clown Mafia. Don't make the mistake of trying to wear another clown's makeup or you'll get cut.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

LadyPictureShow posted:

This pandemic is completely ruining my career choice.



Could I successfully contact a major person working in Hollywood?


This guy has his priorities straight.

Oh man... I thought he was going to be like 14 but no....
My dad is threatening to kick me [23/M] out of the house in a month.

quote:

Yesterday was my last day at my call center job and I had quit the job because I wanted to finally pursue a career in either Twitch or YouTube. I put in my two weeks notice at said job, but I never told my dad since he's very old school and I knew that he wouldn't approve of gaming or watching movies as a real job. So I didn't let him know that I was quitting, I just let him find out this morning when he saw that I wasn't at work.

I told him of my plans to either be a professional gamer on Twitch or be a film critic on YouTube and his reaction was just what I expected. He told me that those weren't "real jobs" and he began demanding that I get my old job back or start looking for a new one. I told him no and I was hoping that that would be the end of it, but it wasn't. Just moments ago, he came into my room and told me that he's giving me one month to find a new job. I argued that I would be starting Twitch soon, but he reiterated that it had to be a "real job".

What's worse is that he told me that if I don't at least have some interviews lined up by April 13th, then he's kicking me out of the house. And on top of that, he grounded me. He took away my PS4 and he said that I'm not allowed to have my friends or girlfriend over at the house until I get a job. So now I'm in a situation where I don't want to get a job. It's a matter of principle in not only doing what I love, but also standing up to my dad after all of the poo poo that he's put me through. My goal right now is to convince him that my career choices are legit jobs. How can I talk to him about this?


HOLY poo poo!!! We had him before too!
I'm [23/M] keeping a secret from my new girlfriend and I'm afraid that she'll find out.


He was the dirtbag that badmouthed his gf so she wouldn't get a promotion and leave him!

And!!!
My friend just told me that I'm [23/M] not invited to his party.

Oscar viewing party rear end in a top hat!

God this guy is a thread superstar
Can my dad force me [23/M] to join military school?

AITA for not wanting to watch football with my dad and his friends?

Live's in GF's dad's Poolhouse gets into a fight with dad
My landlord just destroyed my property, physically assaulted me, and kicked me out without notice.

I swear this guy has probably 30 pages in the old thread dedicated to him.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

professor metis posted:

That article links to another absolute classic that hasn't been posted in the thread yet - the siblings who were definitely loving

https://twitter.com/offbeatorbit/status/701618652865556481

(thread, you'll have to click through)

Arg there was an update that i can't find that had a NSFW label on it!!!
My (26F) fiance (29M) and I have been arguing about his refusal to set appropriate boundaries with his sister (28F)- UPDATE (Maybe NSFW) (Also really long, sorry)

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for rejecting my girlfriend's birthday present?

3xWhilst. You’re the rear end in a top hat.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

MagusofStars posted:

$50+shipping for some store-branded merch??? That's insane. Most restaurants I've been to charge like $20-$25 for their merch, plus a perk like "free appetizer every time you come in wearing our shirt" or whatever; hard to imagine the salon is so prestigious that it justifies paying $50 for it.


The point isn't the merch, the point is the salon isn't going to make rent without a cash infusion since they've been closed by the state.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Sjs00 posted:

I love that she has to physically leave the apartment. Can't just go into the next room while he watches Octonauts, and she buys that

That’s not how Studio apartments work.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for moving my [26m] girlfriend’s [24f] doll out of our bedroom?

It was brought up a few times without conclusion, "Hey, that's strange! Do you think she hid a camera in it?" "Well she does have a crippling fear of being cheated on..." And since she took the doll with her he'll never know.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005


Tried... She followed.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

paternity suitor posted:

Wait, what the gently caress?

Welcome to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia found out one of my coworkers in a creative field had it when I was explaining how something worked in a new car they just exited and they told me they can't imagine it...

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

pentyne posted:

Remember that reddit is self selecting and a tiny fraction of the real population.

Reddit has 330 million monthly users. That's basically the size of the US. 50% of Reddit users are from the US. Roughly 50% of the US has visited reddit in the last month. It's not some obscure niche thing, it has a higher MAU than twitter.

That said r/relationship posters are all rear end in a top hat children.

EDIT: Does anyone have the load-bearing intern thread? Payroll person hosed with intern's check he had to scramble to pay rent, said he woudn't be back till she was fired.

Hughlander fucked around with this message at 23:22 on May 6, 2020

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

And found it...
[54 F] A loyal employee [41 F] played a "joke" on a long term intern. [21 M] He's seething and will not come back unless the employee is fired. My partner told me I need to find a way to keep both

quote:

Hey so I run a startup of about 15 people with an old partner of mine.

About an hour ago a conflict happened that I don't know how to deal with.

Our summer intern for the last three years is very well liked. Jake (fake names) has a lot of leeway and we let him choose one day a week to work from home. He chooses Friday, which isn't an issue because he still completes his work and is available on Skype. The only drawback is sometimes he forgets to send his hours in and doesn't get paid until Monday. He never usually cares because "hey that's my fault" as he says.

So today, Jake was in the office. He submitted his hours to Jenna, however when everyone started printing their checks, Jake didn't have his to print.

He went to Jenna (Jenna's desk is next to mine) to ask where his check was. She told him she scheduled it to be sent on Monday as a joke. Jake kept his cool for a while until he realized that she had actually sent his check when he was in the office, and he absolutely lost his poo poo.

According to Jake, he has a lease he's supposed to sign today and now he can't. He flipped out on Jenna, screamed at her and stormed out to "to go get a loan because payroll is playing with my loving money".

I reprimanded Jenna immediately. I told her that wasn't Acceptable, and she claimed she thought it was ok because of her joking relationship with Jake and his usual friendly nature.

I called Jake once he left, and he told me he couldn't talk because he was at the bank getting a loan. He called me back later and told me that he's not coming to our office BBQ tomorrow, and that if Jenna is there on Monday he's quitting immediately.

This is a huge problem. Jake isn't really just an intern. He handles a lot of major stuff for us because he's been here since the beginning. We are planning to offer Jake a full time offer at the end of the summer, and now that's up in smoke. Jenna, works for cheap and is really good at her job.

My partner (who was at a meeting during this) thinks there is a way to keep both. I disagree. I've never seen Jake this mad, and he hung up on me when I asked him if Jenna could speak to him to resolve it. Jenna has never made a mistake and those two were really close before today.

I kind of want to call Jake and tell him to take a few days to work from home so he can calm down, but I feel like he would see that as me taking her side.

My partner and I decided that we're going to pay the bank whatever Jake had to take out to sign his lease on Monday. We've texted Jake that, and his reply was "Thanks. I'm still quitting if she's there Monday. That's ridiculous. She can't arbitrarily decide to withhold my check for kicks."

Any idea how to handle this? We're a very close knit company so losing either would be a huge blow to morale.

Tl;dr woman who does payroll at my company decided to set our intern to be paid on Monday as joke. Our intern had to get a bank loan to sign his lease and we told him we'd cover that. He claims that he's quitting unless the woman that does payroll is fired. They were very close before this incident. My boss wants us to keep both because the intern has been with us for 3 years /we're going to offer full time and payroll has done a tremendous job. Any solutions?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

you can't move that; that's a load-bearing intern

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to go to a party that my SIL was hosting for all of my husband's siblings?

"I'm sorry you got caught being a little High-School-Mean-Girls-Wannabe-Bitch."

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

spacetoaster posted:

That boy needs to be shown some serious consequences. Fast.

Like say hot soup dumped on his lap? Or being reduced to fending for himself for sandwiches for each meal while the women eat real meals?

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

[CA] Our community pool has a lock/chain around it with a “COVID-19” sign. I am going to cut it with bolt cutters today. Legality of this please.

Other posts by same poster:
AITA I leave NO TIP for delivery people who ask my name. AITA??
AITA for putting a “please pick up your dog poop, you’re on camera” sign in my front yard? They ripped the sign up

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for selling my late husband's restaurant against his wishes?


There's extra tidbits in the comments, particularly if you think anything about the unborn child maybe being entitled to any part of the restaurant from the husbands estate...

quote:

They can use the potential father's family members to test for paternity as well, as they have similar genes. Would probably need to go to court unless the family is willing to do it.

quote:

My husband was adopted from Russia. So unfortunately, he doesn't share DNA with his family.
He was raised in a white buddhist family and they wanted a cremation.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for calling my coworker “Karen”?

So uhh... I guess Karen asked to speak to her manager?

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

ad090 posted:

AITA for ‘ruining’ my sisters wedding

Hate to be the one who rings the 'fake' bell but there was an edit and now look at the last two paragraphs:

quote:

I walk out and go and sit on the curb to wait for my mom to pick me up (I can’t drive, im 14). My mom picks me up and I go home to cry because I was really looking forward to being by my sisters side while she gets married, and I’m also very hurt. Apparently my sister and her remaining bridesmaids talked after and my sister told them about our conversation. My cousin and my sisters best friend take my side, and now they say they won’t be a bridesmaid until sister apologizes and let’s me be in the wedding again. My sister texted me and said that I’ve ruined her wedding. I don’t know what to do AITA?

(Edit please stop asking about my mom. She died about five years ago in a car accident)


And in the last 30 seconds it was removed...

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not making a "gift" for my aunt to give her coworker?

Seems like this one is easy, Donate the blanket to the silent auction, let the Aunt know when/where it'll be auctioned, she goes buys it and gives it to the coworker. You make one thing, Aunt gets a gift, Charity get's their money, coworker gets the blanket that really ties the nursery together.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

My [F27] flatmate [F27] has told my boyfriend [M31] she's in love with him.

quote:

I [F27] moved into my flat in October of last year to take the place of a mutual friend of mine and my new flatmate [F27]. We have a generally great atmosphere in the flat, and both have similar expectations and habits and while we're not 'friends' yet (as in we wouldn't go out for brunch or be each others plus ones for parties) we are very friendly. She seems super normal and level.

When the lockdown began (March), my boyfriend [M31] of two years was living with his sister, and his mother (undergoing chemo) who lived alone, needed somewhere to stay where she could be looked after, so she moved into his room and he came to stay with us. My flatmate was totally fine, and we had a proper chat about ground rules etc, but ultimately the flat is huge for two people and she has a kind of granny flat set up in hers. Either way, she gave definite approval.

Now, we three got on great, but never really spent a tonne of time together. We all work from home and spend the occasional evening playing games or whatever, but ultimately we didn't mingle much more than before. My boyfriend, however, cooks every night for the both of us, as a thank you, and so we do now eat together, and my flatmate seemed happy to be included.

It was great. However, last week, my boyfriend took me aside and told me that while he was in the courtyard hanging out the washing she "ambushed" him from behind and gave a huge speech about how she's in love with him, and while she "respects" he's with me, she has deep feelings for him, and that she's available if he were single. Oh, and please don't tell OP. She didn't try to kiss him, but tried to hold his hand....

He was very anxious and flustered when he was telling me this. The flat atmosphere is VERY awkward now, but as far as she knows, he's not said a word. She's not said anything else to him, but he did mention that she had touched his arm a couple of times as she was walking past recently and it's really gotten under my skin. My BF is also confused because he hasn't spent that much time with her apart from dinner, and never alone.

I spoke to our mutual friend who was shocked, and says she's never done anything like this before, and she'd never known my housemate to have a crush on anyone either. I've not seen her acting strangely in any other ways, and it hasn't outwardly affected how she treats me. We can't move rn because: virus, money etc. How do I deal with this?

TL;DR: my flat mate has told my boyfriend she loves him while he's staying with us, and we can't leave.


UPDATE: My [F27] flatmate [F27] has told my boyfriend [M31] she's in love with him.

quote:

Okay! Firstly, thank you all for your advice (and no thank you) to the few who took it upon themselves to DM me to be inappropriate or creepy - wtf, read the room).

It gets a little intense, so first I'll just cover some things I wasn't able to in my original post.

I trust my boyfriend completely. Even if I didn't, this apartment is large, not massive....I know where that beloved MF is 24/7. A lot of you asked when after my housemates confession he told me about it: he told me a couple of hours afterwards. He explained to me after we had a chat about it that he was afraid I wouldn't believe him or be angry, because at first he'd thought it was a weird joke that made him uncomfortable, and he felt (rightly so) weirded out. I agree with the bulk of you that her continued touching is harrassment, and while a number suggested he just confront her himself, I empathise with being in a situation without breathing room where someone is sexually harrassing you. It's not easy, and you can quickly find yourself unsure if those brief moments of crossing a line happened. He's not on our lease, and understandably he was concerned about me and the power dynamic in the house (bc her room is a mini granny flat, she pays the bigger share).

I also don't believe that it was, as some suggested, a hypomanic episode. I have BP2 and while I understand the 'love rush', she exhibited zero other behaviours, and never tried to contact my BF outside of the weird touching. I also can appreciate there's no way she was actually in 'love'.

SO:

Yesterday, after a tense few days of trying to avoid her, my BF and I were in the kitchen at breakfast, with her around in the living area. I went to 'our' bathroom (she has an en suite) which is just off the main area to brush my teeth. I walked back out to grab my phone as she was sidling behind my boyfriend who was looking in the fridge, and caught her running her hand and forearm across his lower back where his tee shirt had ridden up a little. My boyfriend, who didn't see me, yelped really loudly and just lost it. He yelled at her to "stop!" and when they both saw me he starts going "you see?! You see?! This is what I was talking about!"

I was furious, just whole body anger, and I could see she had now realised he HAD told me about her confession/behaviour, and just sprinted to her room and slammed the door. My BF and I went out for a walk to calm down, and he kept apologising for not being "more firm", but he was shaken up - some of you told me I should just confront her head on, which in the moment I 100% sided with, I was so angry for him. He told me he'd rather give her the opportunity to do it diplomatically. I appreciated what you guys said about lock down being extenuating, and in discussion with our mutual friend, I was willing to believe that an element of it was naivete, and a bit of fantasy gone too far. I was willing to be kind to her.

When we returned with a plan of action, we knocked on her door but she didn't answer. We tried a couple of times but she wouldn't come out, although she was 'seeing' my Whatsapp messages. Come late afternoon, I was just over it, so I knocked, and told her I was coming in. I sat her down on her bed and told her gently but firmly it was inappopriate, making us uncomfortable, told her she had to get the hell over it/herself if she intended to continue to live with us. She burst into tears and starts crying about how she's "so sorry" and what a "bad person' she is, and she can't believe the pressure of lockdown is getting to her, whatever, and I felt bad. Started sympathising, trying to be compassionate...and then she says "It's just so unfair that the guy I'm in love with has a really great girlfriend".

Reader, I lost my poo poo. Unfair, my rear end. I told her she had a lot of growing up to do, and perspective to learn, and that she owed the house an apology. She started to have a meltdown, a full, weeping, hiccuping snotty meltdown. AND THEN when I stood up to leave, I spotted, in her clothes rack, my freaking shirt. I took it, and went back to my room.

My housemate cried loudy with the door OPEN until 7PM (for....attention???) when I cracked. I used our emergency contact sheet, called her mum, told her she had to come pick up my housemate. I've never met this woman who came rushing in like a superstar, but the look of annoyance and embrassament on her face when she arrived and found her 27 y/o daughter having a tantrum told me this wasn't a new part of her personality. My housemate also STFU pretty quickly after she realised her mum was there. They didn't say anything to us, and we just hid in our room until they were gone. I think she'll be gone at least for a while, but I texted her to let her know it would be best if she texted me before she came back. IDK when I'll see her. Technically the lease ends in August so my BF and I think we can make it work and find someone new, and if not, it's not so long til we can resign without her.

As a coda to all this?? My BF mentioned if she took a blouse, maybe she took other stuff too. I appreciate some of you may consider this an invasion of privacy, but I did go back in, just to check the clothes rack. I found: a set of my jeans, my tee shirt, one of my boyfriends work shirts, a vinyl I owned, my loving charm bracelet from when I was a KID from inside my jewellery box, and a sheet of my old antidepressants...this was just what was on The Rack/on display. I imagine there's more in the drawers. I don't know if this was the right thing to do, but I left them there for now bc I don't want there to be any 'doubt' she stole them. There's zero chance she's going to live here any more. Honestly, I hope she does get help. I'm really angry and violated, as is my BF, but I can empathise with the havoc an uncontrolled mental health issue can wreak on your behviour, and while it's still wrong, it still sucks for her to experience it and lose friends. NOTE: I can't be sure, none of us can! But I feel like maybe (?) she has a histrionic personality disorder.

TL;DR: my relatively normal housemate who told my BF she was in love with him turned out to also be a thief. Yikes!!

PS! Our mutual friend has told me another friend who went to school with my housemate had told her a rumour she'd told a bunch of people in their year that she had leukemia. YIKES.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Newly estranged parents I hope...
AITA for refusing to give my parents money?

quote:

I’m a 19 year old F with six older siblings. My parents spent most of my childhood spending money they didn’t have on my siblings, so by the time I hit my teenage years, I realized I was probably going to have to fend for myself financially when I turn 18. I started babysitting and doing odd jobs around my neighborhood when I was 14, and eventually got part-time jobs during the school year.

By the time I was 16, I was working three jobs in the summer and two in addition to school. When my parents told me they couldn’t pay for college, I’d already earned enough (along with scholarships) to be able to put myself through college and have plenty left over. I’ve continued to work during the school year, and have been able to make money during quarantine by tutoring online.

The issue began a few months ago, when my eldest sister (29F) got married. My parents spent 30 grand on her wedding, taking out a second mortgage to do so. To make matters worse, my dad was furloughed 6 days after the wedding. They’d effectively dug themselves into a hole they couldn’t get out of.

Two weeks ago, my mom texted me for the first time since the wedding. She didn’t say hi, ask how I was, or make any small talk. She just said “Your dad and I need a favor. When can we call you?”

I’d expected this. None of my elder siblings are doing well financially, and they’ve exhausted all other loan options, both from family and the bank. I figured they would text me, ask me to loan them a few thousand, and promise to pay it back when they could figure things out. I was absolutely willing to pitch in a few thousand, and had even considered giving them some of my tutoring jobs so they could make some extra cash.

I was not, however, expecting them to demand I GIVE them all the money (close to $40,000) I’d made from the ages of 14-18.

The exact statement my mom had made was “You made that money under our roof. We were the ones who allowed you to work, so you only have it because of us anyway...We bought you food and clothes for 18 years. That money is only a fraction of what you owe us...” and so on.

I said that food, clothes, and shelter were the very minimum, it’s what they signed up for when they chose to become parents, I didn’t ask for any of it, etc. They responded by telling me that if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have the life I have today. I said they were being ridiculous, and hung up.

Since that day, both (along with two of my siblings) have continuously hounded me about giving them what is “rightfully theirs.” My siblings, who have never been asked to give them money, are still professing that it’s my job as their kid to take care of them. I told them they wouldn’t see a cent of my hard-earned money, and have no right to make such a request.

I’m torn. I feel awful for refusing to help them out, but on the other hand, this was their fault. I feel I shouldn’t be responsible for fixing their mess. AITA?

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Biplane posted:

I would just like to reiterate that this kid has done such a monumentally good deed in preventing his lovely and abusive boomer parents from aquiring another child to destroy, that even if he does no other good deed in his life, when the time comes for Anubis to weigh his soul, he most assuredly will be granted passage to the Duat.

Kid is 14 and parents had him young.... Parents are Millennials.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

snergle posted:

sure your parents might suck but by your own admission they arent abusive. now that kid gets to be in the system. who gets to roll a dice and see if they end up with a good foster parent or one using them for a check and free labor or one who will sexually abuse them.

although im thinking it might be less adopting and more hey pregnant white teen girl sell us your baby. because you dont go from im thinking of adopting to were getting an infant that isnt born yet with out going that route so nta

Kid isn't born yet and there's a waitlist for pre-natal adoption, so I'm guessing the kid to be is white and will not have a problem being adopted by someone further down the list.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005


One in at least a bakers dozen.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

AITA For deciding to move to my dad because my mom let her boyfriend and his kids live with us

quote:

My mom and dad divorced about 10 years ago when I was 6, I am 16F now and my mom remarried and divorced once before and my dad has had several long time girlfriends, I have been close with both of them, but eversince my mom moved to another town I have primarily lived with her and spend long weekends and vacations with and at my dad.

Now my mom met a new guy about a year ago and eversince he has been over to our house a lot, which is fine but I do not like him much, he is very bossy and often takes his kids with him who I am expected to entertain while they do whatever, that is my main issue, I despise his kids. They are 15M, 13M and 10M. The 15 year old takes after his dad and tries to order me around, the 13 year old behaves like an 8 year old and has frequent temper tantrums and the 10 year old has a weird crush on me and I have caught him trying to peek in to the bathroom and sneak into my room when I am there 3 times.

I told my mom all of this and she told her boyfriend and he claims to have talked to them but nothing has changed.

Now last week my mom said they were moving in with us, I told her I was not comfortable with that and she got mad and said I am too old to act like a jealous kid, I told her I am not jealous I just dislike her boyfriend and really dislike his kids who live with him 5 days a week. She essentially told me to stop complaining and they moved in the next day.

Well I called my dad the day they moved in and he came to pick me up the day after, I only informed my mom after I had left as she was at work and I have been living with him and his girlfriend eversince.

Meanwhile my mom has been beyond herself, she has begged me to come back, apologised profusely, calls me 10 times a day, offered to kick her boyfriend out and has even tried to threaten my dad to take me back. I got to be honest, I feel really bad, eversince like 4 years ago its been me and her all the time and she probably feels horrible. However my dad has beengreat, his girlfriend is really nice and I just feel really at home which I haven't felt eversince my moms boyfriend came in the picture.


2 hot takes:
1) Mom relies on the child support and seems that going away.
2) YTA for using the non existant word 'eversince' 5 times in 6 paragraphs.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

AITA for suing my former roommate and "ruining her future"?

quote:

I had a really crazy roommate last year. Among other things, I had always suspected but couldn't prove that she had cameras in private areas of the house, including my bedroom. About 4 months after I moved out, it came out that she clearly did. She had, let's say, adult images and footage of me and my past partners from that time, and she was trying to blackmail me with it to get money out of me, even going as far as posting it on the internet.

Long story short, I didn't just "take it". I was able to sue her for revenge porn and win. I'm not going to say how much I won, but if I invest well, I could make a life where I don't necessarily need to work. She obviously couldn't give it in a lump sum, so I receive monthly payments from her. I would estimate that about 35-40% of her salary is going to me.

I've been able to finally buy my own place with what I've gotten so far, and I'm financially stable for the first time ever. I'm working on long term plans as well. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I can finally live my own life.

She's been posting on social media that she can't afford to get married to her boyfriend, and that she's living paycheck to paycheck. Some of my relatives are mutual friends with people around her, and they say that I should have handled it differently or even that I should have "taken my lumps" for having premarital sex. They think I shouldn't have done this, especially with her having to "risk her life" during 2020 (she's a medical professional). They say that I don't deserve to be financially stable off of someone else and basically from "being on my back". I don't know that I regret it at all. AITA?


That's a loving hot take buried in there...

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

My (24f) boyfriend (25m) gaslit me using my birth control & other medications to get back at me for cancelling our engagement. I don't know where to go from here.

quote:

I've been with my boyfriend for two years. Three months ago he proposed to me. I said yes, but over time I got cold feet and realized I'm not ready to marry. I want to go to grad school and be more financially stable before we tie the knot and that won't be fore a few years. I returned the ring my bf gave me and explained it to him two weeks ago. I still wanted to be with him, just not as husband/wife atm.

He was upset at first and thought we were breaking up and said a lot of stuff like "I thought this is what you wanted?" and "don't you love me?" After like two days of this we kind of got back to normal and I assured him I wanted to marry eventually, but the time wasn't right. He was sad but I thought he was getting over it.

A little later I started to notice a few things were weird. First, my ADHD meds were being moved. I usually keep them in those weekly organizers since I'm forgetful. Days would be missing from the organizer and it wasn't where I normally left it. I couldn't tell if I just misplaced it/forgot to refill. Then, I noticed my birth control pills were misplaced. I leave my BC in a small zipper pouch in my purse, it never leaves there. A couple days a ago I went to take it and it wasn't there. The pouch was, but the pills were in a separate part of my purse. It was weird but I didn't think much of it. Then the next day the pill weren't in my purse at all, but on the bathroom sink. Every time it went missing I'd panic cause they're the type you have to take at the same time everyday. I found them on the sink once more, in the medicine cabinet once, and on the bedside table twice before I finally realized it was impossible that I was misplacing it myself. This was over the course of a few days.

I confronted my bf who denied it at first, and said "you know how you can be when you don't take your Adderall." I was close to having an anxiety attack and was screaming at him and he finally admitted he'd been moving my stuff around. I asked him why and he said it was to show me how it feels when "someone plays games with you." I was furious and terrified and took a bunch of my stuff and a blowup mattress and I've been sleeping in our spare room. I lock the door at night and hardly talk to him. He'd been begging me to talk again and apologizing but I feel so violated and lovely. He told me he'd never actually mess with my meds and always put them where I'd find them eventually and that I'm being dramatic. He just wanted to get back at me for breaking off our engagement.

I don't know if I should leave or if I'm blowing things out of proportion. None of my family lives in town and idk if I could stay with friends right now or not. I don't know what to do and I feel trapped. He's never done something like this before and I can't believe it, but he's made me feel stupid and awful and idk if I can ever forgive it.

TL;DR My bf kept moving around and hiding my medications in retaliation for breaking off our engagement.


Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Mikl posted:

Nah, it's too boring for his tastes.

I'll remind you that he has a startup that's literally called 'The Boring Company' that would go hand in hand with this investment.


SpaceViking posted:

My (25F) boyfriend (25M) keeps asking me to invest in his "soup tube" business idea, and I am not sure how to deal with it.

Mods: r/relationships: Let's all invest in "soup tubes"

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

empty sea posted:

Does the soup arrive hot or cold? Is this a Papa Murphy's soup situation? Is there a cute little jingle when my soup arrives?

A friend of my ex-bf's had the idea of opening a kind of soup cart or small soup based restaurant. He'd have like 6 soups and bread, maybe some salad, keep it simple to keep his costs down.

He made loving amazing baked mac and cheese, so he had potential but I'm not sold on enough people actually choosing a soup cart instead of a hot dog cart. And who goes out for lunch specifically for soup?

e: this is the worst snipe, i can't even remember the last time i had soup

If there's still large white-collar cities centers, a soup only food truck parked in an area with other food trucks would get mad business.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Puppy Time posted:

I'm voting narcissist family and OP doesn't realize how absolutely batshit the entire setup is because she's been trained to think that this is a normal thing.

I feel really bad for middle brother, who could probably benefit from family paying for some therapy to help him deal with being sensitive as hell, instead of being treated like an infant all his life. Like, it's not a good situation for anyone to continue, but tossing someone like that into the world with no support isn't likely to lead to them suddenly growing coping skills and becoming a productive adult. :smith:

Honestly that's when you go not only NC but also move even if in town. Can you imagine having a sibling drive for hours to confront you like that? I'd NOPE out of that family so hard.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Ugly In The Morning posted:

At that point there’s basically no return. Even if you go insane and pick all the top parts you’re not going to crack 3500 or so without doing SLI Titan RTX cards, which is something that’s likely to actually perform worse than just one Titan RTX since nothing is made to work with SLI multi card setups anymore.

You can go higher! Extreme Edition or Threadripper is going to easily be another 500-1200.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

I love the ones where you flip the script from the title to the body

AITA for discriminating my grandchildren

quote:

My daughter (L) got pregnant in her twenties and gave up a child for adoption. Though my husband and I were upset, we fully supported her and thought she was strong for making a tough decision.

She’s doing well now and is married with kids. Her husband knows about the child she gave away for adoption.

A while ago, we heard from her daughter (S) that she gave away. Our granddaughter contacted us sobbing that her adoptive family had given her away as a baby and she was in the foster system with an abusive family. She’s 12 years old.

My husband and I agreed that even though L didn’t want her, she’s still our grandchild and we have the resources to help her. We adopted S and she now lives with us.

We got S a new wardrobe and redid our guest room to be her room. We also made a college fund and put about $60k in it. Basically we treat her like how we treated L, S is now our daughter by law and in our hearts.

L was indifferent to us adopting S. However, L went ballistic when we told her about S college fund. We didn’t think L would mind since we paid $80k a year for her college education and S is now our daughter too. L is mad because her other kids don’t get a college fund from us even though L and her husband have already gotten it taken care of. But, L says that we are spending more on S and aren’t treating the grandkids equally. She says that her kids will resent us and L for not being treated like S.

However, S is our daughter now and L’s kids are our grandchildren. S has no support system besides us and we treat her just like L. We don’t discriminate among our grandchildren and if L had taken in S, she would’ve been treated like the other kids, aka no college fund.

AITA?

Edit: Thank you for the kind words! I’m so happy about all the well wishes that my S has gotten. I’ve been getting a lot of messages about this, but we weren’t the first people S contacted. S contacted L first (not sure exactly how she got the contact info but I remember it being an open adoption). S wanted to know more about her family and L thought that we were the best people that S could find answers from. L did tell her why she gave S up, but told her that it was a hard decision she made a long time ago and that she’s not sure if she’d be able to take S again. I’m not sure if S has her birth fathers information or called him. She knows about him and the circumstances though.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

welcome to hell posted:

My (26f) fiance (24m) keeps singing the bee gees "staying alive" during sex and he just won't stop after I've told him time and time again to stop.

If you must keep having sex, the only answer is Rick Astley.

AITA for cutting out my wife’s friend after she told my kids how my wife died?

quote:

My first wife had a group of best friends she was super close to. They were like sisters. One, we’ll call Faith, is the godmother to our oldest child. Sadly my first wife died due to complications with childbirth with our second child. The group of friends, Faith included, were there for me. This was 5 years ago.

3 years later, I met my current wife and we married this year. Through a lot of conversations, we finally decided it was time to answer my kids’ questions about how their mom died. In the past, I told them that she got sick and passed away, which is technically true. But I never went into details. They’re 5 & 7. I didn’t want my son blaming my daughter, I didn’t want my daughter to have any guilt. So, I finally decided to get them a therapist to talk about it. But with the pandemic, we have to wait a month.

The issue came up when Faith. She watches my kids. I told her our plan. She told me I should tell them, not a therapist. I said I’d rather have a professional’s help. Faith was really against it but I didn’t think much of it...until I came home from work and found out that she had told my kids. A child friendly version (“mommy got sick when having daughter”) but a version nonetheless. I was pissed.

I’ve banned her from the house and seeing the kids, while trying to help my kids emotionally process this. My wife is looking at nannies. The rest of the friend group says I overreacted, that Faith was just trying to help. I say it wasn’t her place. I told them if they keep it up, I’ll cut them all off. I’m so furious. My wife has told me that I’m starting to go too far.

Am I being an rear end?

Edit: Hey, so I didn’t expect this to explode. Trying to respond to everyone with questions now that the kids are at camp but there’s a lot. The ones I’m getting are “what does my wife mean when she says I’m going too far” answer: threatening to cut off the rest of the friend group if they keep asking me to accept Faith back in.

“Has faith apologized?” Answer: No.

“How are the kids?” Answer: My son is upset and not talking to his sister. My daughter is confused. They haven’t noticed Faith is gone.

Edit 2: The common misconception was that I was going to have the therapist tell the kids. No. The plan was to have the kids meet the therapist, get to know them. Then after a few sessions, I’d tell the kids, with the therapist in the room. Then we’d all be able to talk about it.

:murder:

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Hughlander
May 11, 2005

AITA for not supporting my sister’s GPA celebration?

quote:

My (18F) younger sister (15F) ended her freshman year with a 4.0 GPA, both weighted and unweighted. I was really happy for her when I heard the news, and bought her a congratulatory card and her favorite chocolates when I heard.I know how hard it can be to earn straight A’s in high school, and appreciated that it was no small feat.

I just recently graduated from high school myself with a 4.75 GPA, a 4.0 unweighted GPA. For the past few years, I have earned straight A’s as well. At the end of each term, when I told my parents the news, they would congratulate me with a high five, and would occasionally make my favorite dessert. Same thing when I graduated with perfect grades; they were congratulatory but never made a big deal about it. I was grateful for their support and never expected anything more.

After my sister ended freshman year with straight A’s, however, it was a whole different story. She got to choose where we ate for a whole week, my parents bought her a Nintendo switch, and my dad even crafted a homemade plaque for her out of wood. Throughout the whole experience, I was happy for her, but I felt somewhat dejected knowing that her accomplishment was so much more valuable than mine. Especially since I graduated with perfect grades after taking several advanced classes, while she has only completed one year, arguably the easiest, after taking all regular classes.

I ended up having a conversation with my parents about it. The catalyst was them deciding to lease her car that she wouldn’t even be able to use for six months when I had to pay mine off in full. I expressed my concerns, doing so privately because I didn’t want her to think I was down playing her achievement. They said they understood where I was coming from, but “had always known I was smarter and set for good grades, well they never expected that from her.“ My mom even admitted that she was prouder of my sister then she was of me because me getting straight A’s was her expectation.

I decided to move out about a week ago. This isn’t the only instance in which my parents have blatantly favored my sister over me. It’s been building for a long time, and I decided that I didn’t want to live in environment that didn’t support me. My family have all reached out to me saying that I was a jerk and disrespectful of my sister. I don’t know what to do. AITA?

"Hey Sis, A-Golden-Child-Says-What?"

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