- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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I hope TIFU is allowed, this is a good one:
TIFU by thinking a woman was a boy, and groping her boob. (kind of NSFW, though it happened at work)
quote:
Obligatory this actually happened a little over a year ago, and throwaway because I don't want people on my main account to know what I do for a living.
So, I work for the TSA, and have for a few years now. It's a good job overall. I'm underpaid, but the benefits are nice, and I get overtime when I want it.
A little over a year ago, during the week leading up to Christmas, we had some really bad weather that delayed all the flights. I volunteered to stay late so that my coworkers could go home to their families. Most of the work was done anyway, so it was mostly just standing around waiting for the odd latecomer
I was working the AIT (the space tube thingy), when three passengers came up together, a middle-aged man, a middle-aged woman, and a teenage boy. I figure it's a family traveling together for the holidays, and go about my work.
Mom goes through, all is fine. Dad goes through, all is fine.
Kid comes up, I get a good look at him. Hoodie, sweatpants, shortish hair, smooth face. I figure he's about 13, maybe 14.
I hit the button, direct him to wait with me for a moment, and then gesture to the screen, which lit up on his chest area.
I tell him that I have to pat that area down. He's a little nervous, I figure that because he's so young, this is probably his first time getting a pat down, but he says okay, and I start the patdown.
I do the left side of the chest, and feel some moob, which catches me off guard because he didn't look chubby at all.
I move to the right side of the chest, read what's on the hoodie, and it all clicks at once. The hoodie has the name of the local college on it. This is an adult, not a child. He's not wearing sweatpants, *she* is wearing yoga pants. She doesn't even know the couple that just came through.
I look at her face, which is bright red, my hand is still on her boob, and I pull it back like I just got bit by a snake.
I immediately call for my supervisor, who comes over and asks what's wrong, and I explain the situation to her.
My supervisor covers her mouth, and at first I thought she was absolutely mortified, but then I realized she's trying not to laugh.
She takes a minute to pull herself together, tells me to go take a break, and finishes screening the passenger herself.
Once that was done, I apologize to the passenger, she tells me it's fine, that it wasn't the first time she was mistaken for a boy, and she probably should have said something before I started touching her. I leave her alone, and go talk to my supervisor to figure out exactly how fired I am.
She tells me to calm down, that it was just an honest mistake, and that she has my back if the passenger files an official complaint, but that probably won't happen, and I shouldn't be worried.
That reassured me a little, but I still groped a woman and ruined Christmas, so I feel like an absolute monster.
I swallow my shame, and finish my shift, then I go into the airport proper to find some food, because I just finished a twelve hour shift and there's no way I have the energy to cook dinner.
I saw my hapless victim sitting at her gate, waiting for her flight. I went up to her to apologize again, and saw that the flight had been delayed until morning (it was about eleven at night).
I apologize again, she says it's fine, and I ask her if she's planning to stay the whole night. She says she has to, all the hotels in the area are book.
I tell her that I'm getting some dinner, and offer to get her some food as well. After all, I already got to second base, I think it's only fair that I buy her dinner.
She agrees, and we go to one of the restaurants that is open late, get some food, and start eating.
She said she gets mistaken for a boy a lot, and it's not a big deal. I told her about how I had long hair and no beard in college, and at the gym people would frequently walk into the men's bathroom, see me, and do a double take to make sure they didn't walk into the ladies' room.
She laughed, and we ended up talking for a few hours, before I finally told her that I had to get home, and apologized again for the accidental molestation.
She said that all is forgiven, if I promise to take her on a real date when she gets back.
I agreed, she gave me her phone number, and I went home, and immediately started texting her. We kept talking until her flight finally left, and when she got back I picked her up at the airport, and a few days later took her on that date that I promised her.
We just celebrated our one year anniversary.
She has long hair now.
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Jan 19, 2020 23:58
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 27, 2024 02:43
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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r/relationship_advice
My BF (32M) and I (31F). Is this "normal?" Abusive? Or am I overreacting? Sad and confused, need help.
Long rear end post but here are the highlights:
quote:
Some weeks I cry 10 times a day, at work even too. Other times we go weeks without an "episode." I don't know what to do... stay and try to make it work or start over? I'm 31 and I really want a family and a supportive partner and I know that I'm getting older and that scares me too in terms of having kids. Terrifies me. I don't want to start over. But I just don't know if this is right. And I know I am not perfect. At all. And my biggest thing in this relationship is I am sensitive and can be emotional.
People have told me to ignore it, and some things I can.
Some days he is the most loving wonderful person in the world and I am on cloud nine. Other days he's in a "mood" and just nothing I say is okay. I very often feel as if I'm walking on egg shells.
-The other night he asked me to leave his apt at 2:30 am because he couldn't sleep. Apparently he was annoyed that my dog was sleeping in bed and that I left her water bowl in the middle of the apartment without asking him first. I was sound asleep and had to walk home through the streets of NYC at 2:30 am with my dog.
-His brother works at a restaurant and his hours are being cut. My uncle owns a company in the same town. I asked my uncle if his company was hiring (I did not give his brother's name or anything), and if my uncle said yes, my plan was to pass the info on to my BF and then he and his brother could make a decision about whether to apply. He got FURIOUS that I asked. "How dare I get involved with his brother or his family." I literally was only trying to help. He could have said that was nice but no thanks. Instead he told me he's not sure he loves me anymore and doesn't know if he wants me to meet his family (we were leaving for me to meet his family for the first time the following week.) He also came into my apartment without telling me first to search for and take his keys back as a result of this.
-I am an elementary school teacher. We ran into a student on the street. I introduced him as my friend. He FLIPPED out. Said maybe he should bring me to his office and introduce me to people there as his friend.
-He was in a horrible mood. We had gotten a gift card for a certain restaurant and went that night. The music was loud and it felt "going-out ish." He got in an even worse mood and wouldn't talk to me at all. I said I know this isn't your first choice place, but you're a grown up and this is date night, can't we just make the best of it? All he said was "let's just get this over with, I hope the food comes fast". We sat in uncomfortable silence the whole meal.
-We were walking to see a movie and planned to go to a drug store across the street from the movie. We passed a drug store earlier (I didn't realize that corner had one) and I suggested going in. He didn't answer me. I said "I guess not" as we walked passed it. He got mad that I was changing the plans, and thought I was trying to control him. He also thought I had an attitude. After this, we sat in the movie and he told me that he is just realizing (9 months into the relationship) that I have an attitude problem and he doesn't really like my personality. He thinks we're better as friends.
-We walked past a deli with a really long line. I said "Look at that long line." No response. Thought he didn't hear. Said it again. He got mad and said "Wow, cool a line. Never seen that before." He thought it was a stupid comment and that I'm being controlling by telling him where to look.
-We were going to visit my sister in another city. I was really excited and he knew all the plans. One involved dinner with her friends. The night before we went he asked me "Do you really think I want to hang out with your sister and all her little friends?"
When he is in a mood, he literally cannot stop himself from reacting in a certain way or say something that comes out of his mouth. Usually, later when he is calmer, he apologizes and says he understands why what he said/did was wrong. But then it keeps happening.
I think I love him. But this part of him is horrific and I never know when it will come out. Please help me. I want honest advice.
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Jan 20, 2020 14:13
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA For Scaring People In The Woods
quote:
So I (32M) am a big guy 1.92 and wide, also I am bearded, disheveled and dress like a hobo ( am reasonably well of I just wear old rags). When the woman at work had a vote on who (by look) would be the scariest to meet in a dark alley I won from like 20 guys all in the building trade. When I walk my dog in the woods and always have a bear in one hand and usually a cigarette in the other, I have 4 to 8 cans while walking my dog.
Often and especially when it is later on in the evening when women jog or walk their dogs alone I can see them change the route or jump off the path and go off through the woods and brambles to avoid me or if they can do the whole eyes downcast walk by at max speed past me.
I never do anything stupid like try to talk to them or follow them I just walk, drink and listen to an audio book or podcast. Other walkers who had I have known for years have said they have got a fair few slightly freaked out questions about me but told those people I am a local and harmless they then stop freaking out. Also when I am walking the dog she is usually not with me and is off somewhere chasing squirrels or whatever.
My wife (who normally does not walk with me) is saying I am an rear end in a top hat and that i should dress like a human being and stop drinking all the time in the woods, I am hoping you folks will disagree with her and I can use this as proof that society is on my side.
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Jan 22, 2020 18:28
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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quote:My 40yo(M) ex-husband and father of our son (*We have been together since 2013 and are still very much together - long story.) got off work at 3:35ish today. I [38(f)] tried to call him at 3:45 and he didn't answer. I can see him on "Find My" and knew he was in a neighborhood near his work. I tried to call him 40 minutes later and he still didn't answer. I texted him, and he didn't reply.
I called AGAIN, and he answered, while telling someone bye. saying, "She called me again, sorry; I have to answer this." He told me he took a 20yo(f) FEMALE coworker home from work because she didn't have a ride, and they were in deep conversation about her relationship problems, so he couldn't answer me.
I am having an extremely tough time believing him, because how tough would it have been to answer the phone and explain the situation? Not only does it LOOK bad, I feel disrespected. My incoming call should have been more important. Am I wrong? Am I stupid for feeling obligated to believe him? He thinks my frustration is unfair.
TL;DR! My husband wouldn't answer the phone TWICE when I called him, and he had taken a 20yo female home from work and had been with her for 45 minutes.
No 40yr old woman calls women "females", this is a karma farmer.
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Jan 24, 2020 00:53
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Yeah that's nothing that a quick "sorry my bad, that was a really lovely joke, I'm sorry" wouldn't fix, but you know, redditors.
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Jan 24, 2020 16:20
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA for not attending family reunion and calling my grandmother "old bat"?
Silver lining is that at least she'll not get the coronavirus
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Jan 26, 2020 21:30
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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quote: I'm talking like pan fried fish, or a pasta dish, or fancy salad with homemade dressing. I should add that she is a phenomenal cook - most of her dishes are restaurant quality or better (everyone she has cooked for agrees). quote:Now I'm a pretty simple guy - meat and potatoes and I'm happy
This person is a picky eating manchild and his wife is doing this to try and open him up to better foods, good on her.
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Jan 28, 2020 13:09
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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I feel like you took the wrong takeaway in this story here.
He wants a nice sit down meal with his wife, who by his own admission makes enough for the pair of them. God forbid he has to put a vegetable in his mouth from time to time.
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Jan 28, 2020 13:42
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA For calling out a drunk guest at my wedding?
Also, I screamed at her and asked her if she was crazy after she tried to lift my dress and basically expose my rear end during the reception.
Could have save time and just typed this
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Feb 3, 2020 22:51
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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I think the original was posted in the last thread. This is a good brother.
UPDATE: I(24M) adopted my little sister(8F) after our parents passed away, GF(23F) isn't so excited about it
This guy is going to get so much action it's unreal, he's going to be able to take his pick from literally any woman with working emotions god drat
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Feb 6, 2020 08:56
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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My (17M) dad (40sM) has a fish tank addiction and it’s tearing our family apart.
My parents are divorced, but I stay with my dad every other week. He’s remarried and has a stepchild, and it’s really hard on them because all he talks about are fish and he keeps spending money on his addiction. It’s gotten to the point that you can’t use half of the living room.
It started out small with him getting a single fish tank in 2014, but the last year things have escalated. Since December he has bought four fish tanks. He’s spent $2,000 since the summer on his fish. The house is small and there’s a limited amount of space to walk around in depending on which side of the house you are on. He’s considering building an addition onto the house next year because it’s too crowded and filling the room with fish. My step mom is upset and begs him to stop using their money for fish and to save it to update the appliances. How can we talk to him about this? What can we do?
TL;DR: Dad (40sM) keeps buying fish tanks and fish and only talks about his fish. His house is overcrowded with fish and he plans on building an addition to his house to put more fish in that room. How can we get him to stop and help him with his addiction?
Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Fish Supplies $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
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Feb 9, 2020 14:05
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA For Yelling at My Husband and Leaving After I Found His “Secret” Budget?
My [25F] husband [23M] handles the finances in our household pretty much 100%, he keeps the budget on a Google spreadsheet. He makes a sheet each month and fills it out as the month goes on. I have access to it as well but I rarely care to look at it, he keeps everything running smoothly.
For whatever reason yesterday I decided to log in and check it out. Everything looks fine. Income marked in one table, expenses in another, checkboxes to see which bills have been paid, simple formulas to detect if we’re in the red etc. Nothing too complicated, just something to predict our expenses and keep us on track. Cool.
But I looked down below and saw one sheet at the end, called “Budget Single”. Never saw that before so I clicked on it and omg. It’s basically the same thing except my income is cut out. The predictions for our joint expenses (insurance, food etc.) are lowered. My money for clothes, spending etc. isn’t listed. There’s even another row for income called “Rent” like he’d be leasing some of our bedrooms in this alternate universe, what??
So I angrily come to him with my computer and demanded he explain himself. He said that it’s just something he came up with to prepare in case I wasn’t around anymore. Had an accident, if I was out of work for a long time or whatever. He said he just feels better doing a little prep and you never know what could happen.
I’m not buying that, I screamed at him that it looked like he was planning to divorce me. He said that I was making a big deal over nothing, this was one sheet he came up with in five minutes and hasn’t even looked at it in a long time. We had a huge fight and I spent the night at my mom’s. He keeps trying to call me but I’m not answering, I’m still super mad at him. Not sure if I’m coming home tonight either.
AITA?
Love how the OP on this one has only replied to the small number of idiots agreeing with her
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Feb 14, 2020 07:49
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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quote:“Yesterday Bailey asked if I could clean the litter box while she was gone. What I really wanted to tell her was to shove it up her rear end...”
Litter box up rear end, ect.
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Feb 14, 2020 08:26
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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dude has read somewhere that it helps to write down your feelings and used it to go full 90s sitcom husband lmao
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Feb 14, 2020 08:39
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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r/relationships: like and subscribe to my rear end in a top hat
only if you ring my bell to get those juicy updates
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Feb 15, 2020 00:10
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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So much wedding poo poo is based on a variation of "THERE IS ONLY A FINITE AMOUNT OF JOY AT THIS WEDDING AND I WANT ALL OF IT"
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Feb 16, 2020 18:13
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Sorry to tell you my dude, but there's a good chance that your wife and her brother have already hosed
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Feb 17, 2020 16:36
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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WIBTA if I tell my wife I want to separate our finances due to the fact that she has fallen for a scam twice in one year?
My wife and I have been married for 9 years, she's beautiful, funny, and a very caring and lovely person. The problem is that she has a very credulous nature while I am much more skeptical. Around six months ago my wife got a call from the MVA telling her that my new car wasn't ever registered, and that I would be arrested if she didn't pay the registration fees immediately.
She went to the store and bought a bunch of prepaid giftcards and gave the numbers to the scammers over the phone. When she told me what happened I explained that this was a scam, the MVA would not have someone arrested for messed up paperwork, nor would they accept prepaid gift cards in payment. I contacted the bank and they said there was nothing they could do, the company issuing the cards said the money was already gone. Needless to say this was an expensive lesson, but I thought my wife at least wouldn't fall for something like that again.
Last week she fell for the IRS scam, she was contacted and told that we made an error on our 2018 taxes and that we owed the IRS $2500. They threatened jail time, taking our house, our cars, etc. My wife panicked and gave the scammers our joint account information. She called me after she did this and I immediately hung up and called our bank. They said we had a large transaction pending, but since it was the same day they could stop it.
Quite simply, after going through this the first time I cannot believe that she fell for another scam, the first time was such a nightmare and so many emails and phone calls. She refused to deal with it so it was me who was calling our bank, calling the prepaid card company, sending emails back and forth trying to get our money back. She said she felt overwhelmed by the situation and didn't want to deal with it, and now I'm forced into this same situation again through her negligence. Would I be wrong to ask for separate finances at this point, I don't feel secure knowing my money is in her hands.
hope to gently caress these people never win the lottery
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Feb 17, 2020 20:38
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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He (25M) Wants part of my (22F)tax refund. Am I wrong for saying no?
quote:So my bf and I have been together for almost 9 years and we have 2 children together. Usually each year he files for both of our children and then split the half of the cost that hes gotten back for the kids alone. Which is usually about 3,000$ so he gives me 1500$. While still having about 5/6,000$, where as the most I’ve gotten back was about 700$.
This year for the first time I filed for one of the children and he filed for the other one and it turned out that’ll I’ll be getting back much more than he would be.
So now he wants me to give him about 400$ to 500$ so, In his words “we can have the same amount”. Which is ridiculous! So I told him no and now he keeps bringing up the fact that he gives me money every year, how he has always taken care of me, or telling me that I don’t have his back.
I just would like to know if I’m wrong for not wanting to give him any money because now I just feel guilty for not doing so.
TL;DR: boyfriend has been filing for Both kids and this year we filed for one each for the first time and he wants me to give him money out of my tax return so we can have an equal amount since I’m getting back more for the first time.
HOL UP
my (22F)
bf and I have been together for almost 9 years
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Feb 25, 2020 22:13
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA for expecting my fiancée to not wear her late fiancés ring anymore?
quote:What happens when we die and hypothetically there’s a heaven. She meets back up with this guy and my ghost is poo poo out of luck.
lol at this dude worried about getting laid in the afterlife
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Mar 30, 2020 14:24
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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25F ruined potential relationship with 33M at social gathering turned to orgy.
that sounds like terrible social distancing
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Mar 30, 2020 14:42
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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I was a Marine. I don't have 300 confirmed kills or anything, but because I was a little smarter than average, I drew the best pictures with the crayons and I had pro/con scores a lot higher than average.
That being said, because I was smarter than average, I got the gently caress out after my first enlistment period and used that sweet GI Bill cash to go to college for free.
I'd steer my own son away from the USMC. There are better opportunities in the other branches, I just personally had a chip on my shoulder when I was 18.
I say NTA, in that situation, unless the elders literally break up the family over it. They were proud of the tradition, and hoped it would persist, but this is America and the kid has the freedom to be a coast guarder if he wants.
Also the generational obligation has been fulfilled by his brother, so at that point it's more just dad's disappointment than anything else.
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Mar 31, 2020 21:53
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA for tagging people’s chest/boobs on Instagram and not moving the tags when my friend told me to?
r/relationships: I really want to keep my tagging consistent.
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Apr 2, 2020 01:07
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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NTA. It sucks that his wife died and that he's still working through the grief, but he also shouldn't be trying to use random people at his work as therapists or bringing up his opinions on premarital sex to someone half his age, especially at work. He shouldn't be talking about religion at work at all, unless that's part of his job.
Plus, it sounds like what she reported him for was "talked at me for over an hour about things that were none of my business or work-related, then bunked off for lunch before doing the one thing he was supposed to". That's the sort of thing his boss needs to know about.
I'm having a ten on this being a grift to get some pity sex from a college girl, adding in the creepy pre-marital sex forced conversation just makes my mind up.
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Apr 2, 2020 01:34
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA for buying a $50,000 guitar for $4,000 and refusing to sell it back when the buyer found out the real value?
That's a fuckin tricky one alright but yeah that's a dick move given he knew how much it was worth.
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Apr 3, 2020 01:21
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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it's from the hangover
there's another hangover quote he can use to page the kid out of his room
It's from Community
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Apr 6, 2020 17:43
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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r/relationships: She said "I will never jeopardize the beans."
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Apr 8, 2020 00:11
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Might have to go and sit in my inventing shed.
Well it sure does beat Super Mario.
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Apr 9, 2020 16:25
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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if that AitA about the secret upstairs doesn't have an update I'll be angry about it for longer than is healthy.
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Apr 10, 2020 21:11
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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love to have a solid 3 hour conversation with a 4 and 2 year old
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Apr 13, 2020 01:42
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Do weddings in the US not usually split up couples and groups during the wedding meal? Here in the UK that's been the case at every wedding I've ever been to, I can't think of a single time I've been to a wedding where I've been seated with my partner or my family.
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Apr 14, 2020 14:39
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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That's interesting, is it a holdover from the old ettiquette rule of splitting up couples at dinner parties (so they're forced to mingle with the other guests)?
That's the way I've always had it explained, it's so you interact with people you don't know so when it comes to the wedding reception people don't just make isolated groups.
(they absolutely do this anyway)
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Apr 14, 2020 14:58
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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AITA for saying “RIP” when a girl in the group chat said she was getting a breast reduction?
I am in a group chat with some of my classmates, including a girl with really, really big boobs. She never really talked about them being annoying. She posted on the group chat, “I’m getting a breast reduction! I’m so excited, say bye-bye to the twins!” I said “RIP” and posted a picture of a gravestone. It was intended as a light hearted joke since that’s the tone of the group chat. People got upset at me and basically accused me of being insensitive and sexist, saying I’m implying that the only thing that matters is her boobs. In my opinion it was just a silly joke and fit the tone of her message. AITA?
milk truk jus leaved
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Apr 20, 2020 18:38
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Also with Covid you don't want a frontline EMT round a newborn and all the loving family crowded round holy loving piss
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Apr 25, 2020 00:22
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Literally only posting this because it aged me a drat decade
AITA for “banning” my husband from the kitchen until he learns to respect my equipment?
dear god
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Apr 26, 2020 10:09
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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How the gently caress in tyool 2020 are people still dumb enough to write in their diary and not expect someone to snoop in it? At this point if it's not behind a password or lock and key parents/spouses/friends etc. will think nothing of spying on someone out of a sense of fomo on that person's secrets.
Anytime someone wants to make a phone/diary/email access an issue its because they are the ones in the wrong and they want to make sure you aren't also doing it to them.
wow nice "if she wasn't dressed that way it wouldn't have happened" response to that, well done.
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May 2, 2020 02:23
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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quote: I told my side of the story and told my sister that my playing guitar isn’t a necessity, but her wearing bras isn’t either since there’s nothing there needing support.
lol he's still an rear end in a top hat but that's an epic sibling burn if ever I heard one
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May 2, 2020 15:39
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Apr 27, 2024 02:43
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- AceClown
- Sep 11, 2005
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Gaylord lady buries the lede deep in the comments BTW:
quote:
Basic_Spinach -123 points 3 hours ago
You don't know my family. My grandparents will absolutely cut me off if I break tradition. I'm not sure about my parents, I just know they'll be pissed. I think it would be tragic if my son never gets a chance to meet his great grandfather while he's still alive.
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May 8, 2020 19:39
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Jan 19, 2020 23:58
