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zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Prequeldome Guidelines:

1. Don't respond to effortposts with shitposts
2. Don't bring up drama from other threads/forums into here. Exception being that you have concrete proof that somebody is a nazi.
3. Keep insults down to the level of "lol you have bad taste"

Original post:

Memes and contrarians trying to earn their platinum movie analysis challenge trophies have tried to rehab these absolutely terrible films but let us recall that in fact, they are bad. Let us then also list all the bad decisions made in the PT, I'll go first.

Number One: Starting with Anakin as a child instead of an adult
Number Two: Every casting decision aside from Ewan

Somebody fucked around with this message at 08:22 on Feb 2, 2020

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cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



theyre actually good

zoux posted:

Number One: Starting with Anakin as a child instead of an adult
Number Two: Every casting decision aside from Ewan

theyre actually good

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



i will be doing this for every post in this thread

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


They’re good op

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Unbelievable

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


post in this thread about the immortal truth that the prequels are good and the sequels are bad

more and more people are saying this

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

One death is a tragedy, ten deaths is a statistic. Especially if it saves my job.


It's over OP, we have the high ground

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



I'm not talking about the versions of the prequels that exist in your minds that were created by literal hundreds of hours of posting in SW threads, I mean the movies as they appear on the screen, sorry for being unclear.

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



they are even better, because i get to watch them instead of just post about them

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


I hadn’t watched them for years before like 2012 and slowly grew into the popular consensus that they were kind of badly made, they had too much cgi or whatever, the romance was lame, it sucked that the Jedi were terrible people and mostly acted like they were superheroes, et cetera

Then I watched them again and they were actually good, and many of the “problems” are actually the point of the movies

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Well then you are lost.

Some Goon
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



zoux posted:

Number One: Starting with Anakin as a child instead of an adult
Number Two: Every casting decision aside from Ewan

Number Three: Literally every scene in the movies except for the space battle at the start of Revenge of the Sith and, in a distant second, the big fights at the end of Attack of the Clones, maybe.

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



ItBreathes posted:

Number Three: Literally every scene in the movies except for the space battle at the start of Revenge of the Sith and, in a distant second, the big fights at the end of Attack of the Clones, maybe.

theyre actually good

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


Case in point child Anakin, the thrust of the story is that he's an innocent ruined by an institution indifferent to his suffering because they only view him as a weapon, and that's ruined if he starts off as a brooding teen anti-hero

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Zoran posted:

Case in point child Anakin, the thrust of the story is that he's an innocent ruined by an institution indifferent to his suffering because they only view him as a weapon, and that's ruined if he starts off as a brooding teen anti-hero

Oh well those are the only two options

THe brooding teen anti-hero stuff is also a huge mistake. There is no world in which whiny "I HATE YOU" Anakin is believably James Earl Jones Darth Vader one day later.

Some Goon
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



The "problems" were that they were bad movies, with bad acting and even worse writing. Qui Gon was somehow probably the best, or at least most consistent, part.

Some Goon
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



"Nooooooooooooooooooo"

Least convincing origin story ever.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


zoux posted:

Oh well those are the only two options

THe brooding teen anti-hero stuff is also a huge mistake. There is no world in which whiny "I HATE YOU" Anakin is believably James Earl Jones Darth Vader one day later.

it's also ruined if he's like a 20 year old badass or whatever alternative you’re imagining

Some Goon
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



The space battle at the start of RotS might be a high point in the series though. It was awesome. And a grossly misleading trailer.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


the most hated prequel moments are hated not because they are bad but because they are true. like arch liberal Padmé instantly excusing the broken young man who once saved her home world when he admits he murdered all those savages for revenge.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Zoran posted:

the most hated prequel moments are hated not because they are bad but because they are true. like arch liberal Padmé instantly excusing the broken young man who once saved her home world when he admits he murdered all those savages for revenge.

lol at thinking George Lucas, who made the movies because he wanted to do CGI bullshit, is at all that subtle

"Well from my point of view the Jedi are evil" just extremely sublime dialog there

No no, it was a GOOD directorial choice to make sure that every performance was utterly flat and without affect, that shows how the proletariat has been "emotionally flattened" by capitalism, represented by Trade Wars started by Bug People

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



darth vader is a quadruple amputee who cant breathe well, if anything he wasnt pathetic enough in the prequels

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


zoux posted:

Number Two: Every casting decision aside from Ewan

??????????????????????


Come on, be serious. The casting was (mostly) fine.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


If you have a problem with casting Christopher Lee in a Star Wars then space opera is probably not the genre for you.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

If you have a problem with casting Christopher Lee in a Star Wars then space opera is probably not the genre for you.

Count, er, Dooku?

The problem is casting an nonagenarian in a role that requires action.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


zoux posted:

lol at thinking George Lucas, who made the movies because he wanted to do CGI bullshit, is at all that subtle

"Well from my point of view the Jedi are evil" just extremely sublime dialog there

No no, it was a GOOD directorial choice to make sure that every performance was utterly flat and without affect, that shows how the proletariat has been "emotionally flattened" by capitalism, represented by Trade Wars started by Bug People

I know you live in a meme world where every performance was utterly flat and without affect, but in the films that are real, Hayden’s Anakin is among the most dynamically emotional characters in the saga. He has raw outbursts among people who are much more refined and controlled, which they often find very disturbing

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Zoran posted:

I know you live in a meme world where every performance was utterly flat and without affect, but in the films that are real, Hayden’s Anakin is among the most dynamically emotional characters in the saga. He has raw outbursts among people who are much more refined and controlled, which they often find very disturbing

This is gaslighting

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003



I don't even like the prequels but lol at the idea that prequel-likers are just "memeing" when like 90% of any prequel complaints on the internet are just badly recycled RLM catchphrases

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



zoux posted:

This is gaslighting

zoux posted:

Oh well those are the only two options

THe brooding teen anti-hero stuff is also a huge mistake. There is no world in which whiny "I HATE YOU" Anakin is believably James Earl Jones Darth Vader one day later.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009



Lipstick Apathy

IMO, they should've made Yoda the central character of the prequels and not Obi-Wan. That way they could've spread the decline of the Republic out over a couple centuries instead of a few decades.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



IMO they should not have had the guy who said "the Force is never used for attack" be the CinC for the entire Republic military forces and they sure as gently caress shouldnt' have had him flipping around like a dipshit with a lightsaber

I brought this up in the TV thread but: what did y'all think the Clone Wars were prior to 1997

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.




rots was okay

I didn’t see aotc

I remember nothing of phantom menace

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



super sweet best pal posted:

IMO, they should've made Yoda the central character of the prequels and not Obi-Wan. That way they could've spread the decline of the Republic out over a couple centuries instead of a few decades.

they should make the prequels to the prequels. we could call them.... the superprequels

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


zoux posted:

IMO they should not have had the guy who said "the Force is never used for attack" be the CinC for the entire Republic military forces and they sure as gently caress shouldnt' have had him flipping around like a dipshit with a lightsaber

shocking that the hack George Lucas wrote a prequel story where the wise old sage who said “wars not make one great” was in charge of one side in a phony war between two slave armies that ended in tragedy

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


zoux posted:

Count, er, Dooku?

The problem is casting an nonagenarian in a role that requires action.

There's no problem at all, Lee did the lightsaber fights just fine.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Zoran posted:

shocking that the hack George Lucas wrote a prequel story where the wise old sage who said “wars not make one great” was in charge of one side in a phony war between two slave armies that ended in tragedy

He was in charge because Lucas wanted to make a CGI Yoda.

This is the same guy who made the decision to reinsert the awful Jabba-Han scene into ANH to see if he could get away with it and then make that the only version that you could see without a VCR

There should've never been more than a handful of Jedi, it completely contradicts everything we were told about the Jedi in ESB and that's not "the point" of the prequels. The point of the prequels is seeing if you can make a movie staged wholly in CGI.

zoux fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Jan 22, 2020

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003



super sweet best pal posted:

IMO, they should've made Yoda the central character of the prequels and not Obi-Wan. That way they could've spread the decline of the Republic out over a couple centuries instead of a few decades.

I feel like Yoda should have been like a long retired consultant who occasionally trained Jedi like Obi-Wan and was trying but failing to steer the Jedi away from being hubristic douche bags, and Obi-Wan only survived because he was one of the few who actually respected Yoda's teachings about not just being a laser ninja but actually like, adapting and thinking on your feet and trusting the force.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


zoux posted:

IMO they should not have had the guy who said "the Force is never used for attack" be the CinC for the entire Republic military forces and they sure as gently caress shouldnt' have had him flipping around like a dipshit with a lightsaber

I broadly agree with this post although will pedantically point out that having him command an army does not quite contradict "don't use the Force to attack someone."


That said the prequels repeatedly ignored/contradicted "don't use the Force to attack" which depending on how you read it was either unfortunately lazy or a subtle indicator of how the Jedi Order had strayed from its values.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


acrobatic sword fighting and spell casting → “your weapons... you will not need them”
obsessed with a prophecy about person with big Force number → “luminous beings are we, not this crude matter”
tries to assassinate his enemies → “a Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense, never for attack”

SMALL BRAIN: hey, Yoda seems to have learned a few things from his past
GALAXY BRAIN: Yoda was RUINED. He should’ve been exactly the same

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zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Zoran posted:

acrobatic sword fighting and spell casting → “your weapons... you will not need them”
obsessed with a prophecy about person with big Force number → “luminous beings are we, not this crude matter”
tries to assassinate his enemies → “a Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense, never for attack”

SMALL BRAIN: hey, Yoda seems to have learned a few things from his past
GALAXY BRAIN: Yoda was RUINED. He should’ve been exactly the same

HE WAS 900 YEARS OLD

So y'all will defend the Special Editions with the same vigor I assume

zoux fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Jan 22, 2020

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