Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

its fine

# ¿ Feb 1, 2020 08:35

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 05:13

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Mayor Dave posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1233256774964273152?s=20

the border isnt closed? there are still flights from china to the us? wtf is he talking about

# ¿ Feb 28, 2020 09:31

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Heated Gaming Moment posted:

Late night corona crew,

I posted this earlier but I don’t think it was noticed because it was during the Trump press conference. The guy behind me at security at the airport today took his dentures out and put them directly into the plastic security tray to go through the x-ray machine. Once the tray was on the other side he popped them right back in.

If we are expecting the average person to wash their hands to prevent this virus, we are hosed. They can’t even handle their teeth.

I read it and really appreciated it

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 07:44

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

BULBASAUR posted:

just sick in the head

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 09:19

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

twoday posted:

Berlin is one of the largest cities in Europe, it's spread there is a significant development

https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/1234267945318125568?s=19

this seems bad

Trump admin ordering an investigation... HILLARY DID IT!

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 02:50

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

oh dear

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 05:51

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Qu Appelle posted:

News from King County Metro:

I feel a lot less guilty about slacking on buying this month's ORCA transit pass....

LOL "if" you see something unsanitary... my wife saw someone stand up in his seat and take a piss on a kc metro bus last week. Last bus I was on there was a capped heroin needle rolling around on the floor. Metro buses are many things, but sanitary is not one of em

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 08:26

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

D.Ork Bimboolean posted:

Your hands are more unsanitary than either of those things.

my hands aren't full of the blood of someone who is so addicted to hard drugs that they do them on the bus, dr. feelgood

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 10:13

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

D.Ork Bimboolean posted:

lol, people transmit disease through hand-to-object-to-hand-to-face constantly. Its why washing hands is the most effective means of stopping transmission.

The needle isn't going to hurt you just looking at it or holding it if its capped. Just don't inject yourself with it or eat it and you're fine.

it's a biohazard. Its presence on the bus, like the urination, illustrates the frequency of unhygienic events that take place on kc metro buses

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 11:24

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

*pundit-ishly* now, dead people tend to vote democratic so this is good news for biden

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 16:55

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

fits my needs posted:

isnt sxsw where mike bloomberg's current marketing director had the homeless people wifi hotspots

hahahahahahahahaha

yeah

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 16:55

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Salt Fish posted:

*moves pipette between tubes more quickly*

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 18:38

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Atrocious Joe posted:

Seattle isn't closing schools or canceling any large gatherings

It's because our government is comprised solely of ineffectual morons, not because the pandemic isn't a problem

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 21:30

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Atrocious Joe posted:

Kings County is putting the infected into the tiny homes the county bought for housing homeless people

the dumbest dystopia

Look, we're only 4 years and 5 months into the homelessness state of emergency in Seattle, and a mere 15 whole years into the 10 year plan to end homelessness in King County... you can't expect the government to already be at the point of putting homeless people into the housing units that it bought for them two years ago, things just don't work at that kind of breakneck speed around here

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 22:12

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

triple sulk posted:

lmfao if woz is to blame

6 degrees of Wozniak

103 degrees of fever

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 22:26

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Dustcat posted:

also last night as i was falling asleep it occurred to me that if pence has it, there's actually a small but nonzero chance of tormp and pence both keeling over in quick succession, and hello president pelosi lmao

slaaaaaaay queeen!

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 23:47

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

not an endorsement posted:

*obi wan voice* he's more toilet paper now than man

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 23:48

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Dustcat posted:

can you imagine pelosi suddenly getting dropshipped into the white house though lol holy poo poo she'd have to talk to javanka and barr and the insanoflex

hahaha it would own

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 00:28

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Siljmonster posted:

liberal: please make sure to goto every chinese restaurant and thank them for their service while coronavirus is active, heres a convenient list of them to avoid instead of doing what i said!

LOL, Erica Barnett once wrote a blog entry where she said people with disabilities shouldn't be allowed to ride express buses because loading the wheelchairs takes too long and inconveniences her

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 01:56

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

ShallNoiseUpon posted:

what did i miss about toilet paper why is there a run on toiler paper

i can't figure this one out either

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 01:56

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

twoday posted:

It's one of the first things to run out in long term situations when supplies are cut off (like war), along with cooking oil

maybe ppl could cut down on tp use by not drinking all the cooking oil

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 02:07

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Dustcat posted:

can the bidet crew just get gang tags or something

i'm getting kinda tired about being told how to wipe my rear end at my age

im not telling you how to wipe your rear end

im telling you that when you're ready, you won't have to

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 02:21

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Mayor Dave posted:

https://twitter.com/ericuman/status/1234987363643691009

LOL, its already everywhere

the numbers are low because the CDC won't test, haha

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 08:23

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Nothus posted:

https://twitter.com/axios/status/1235240686951321600?s=19

china-WHO diagnoses 70% of the world with a terminal case of "not being han chinese," proceeds with sterilization programs

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 19:13

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Mayor Dave posted:

No one is getting tested, the Washington outbreak was only discovered because the hospital went around the CDC and made their own test

Yes. There is no reason to believe that other major population centers don't have similar infection rates. It spreads asymtpomatically for weeks, and many infected may have mild symptoms. This is just "see no evil, hear no evil" from the government and healthcare industry.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 21:08

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

BULBASAUR posted:

help me, i'm smooth brained and need a marvel analogy to understand any of this

its like the part of the movie where bad stuff happens, but before the bad stuff is defeated in a flashy 10 minute cartoon full of punching. Trump is like tony stark- he's not starring in this one, he's just here to make snarky quips.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 21:25

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Enfys posted:

this is why we need brexit

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 23:29

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Salt Fish posted:

I can't believe this guy is in charge of corona virus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBXEmyQmj44

beautiful

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:25

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Nothus posted:

https://twitter.com/paperboynyc/status/1235243480521244674?s=19

we are trying to spread this

jfc

If this were an outbreak movie I wouldn't find it credible

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:27

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Justin Tyme posted:

Nobody calculated that a million dead Americans is an acceptable result lmao the simplest and correct assumption is that our government is filled with dogbrained grifters and amateurs who have no clue how to do their job or what its basic function is on its face let alone competently handle a crisis. These are the people who defunded the office responsible for outbreak control because why pay for them if there is no outbreak? Complete donkeybrains

yelling for the cameras isnt going to get you anywhere

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:29

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

The Pussy Boss posted:

Just spitballing here, but if millions of Americans die, that might be bad, for Trump, in the presidential election?

he didn't win the first election by getting more votes, bad poo poo happening won't affect his strategy

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:34

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

poty posted:

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1235651178714861569

what a shitshow

it happened in greece its not the mexico one

cancel all cruises morons

haha, between the pollution output and plague breeding cruise ships are awesome civ enders.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 22:24

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Bob Socko posted:

Trip Report - Buying Toilet Paper in Washington State

I live about 90 miles north of that nursing home where all those people died. There are three possible cases in my county, pending test results. So of course, everyone is losing their poo poo. Yesterday, I needed to buy some toilet paper, not because I'm panicking or hoarding, but because I need some toilet paper. I went to a grocery store that normally has 50-60 feet of shelf space for toilet paper; all was sold out. My girlfriend then went to Costco, which was completely sold out as well. An employee told her they'd have some today, but we'd have to be there at opening.

I showed up an hour before open. Lots of people in the parking lot, waiting in their cars. 30 minutes before open, everyone started lining up, so I hopped out of the car and got a spot near the front of the line. 15 minutes before, there were dozens of people lined up, and they opened the door. Everyone jogged to the opposite corner of the store, where there were ~8 palettes of 30-packs of toilet paper, limit two per customer. I really only wanted to buy one, but I don't want to jump through these same hoops in a month or so, so I bought two. By the time I paid and got back to my car, I imagine all eight palettes were empty.

This is loving ridiculous.

You're a one roll a day household? My friend, have you considered a bidet

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 22:28

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Salt Fish posted:

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm an SA mod, and I'm here to help.

Only if you're under the age of 10

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 01:56

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Nothus posted:

Why the gently caress would we bail out the cruise industry lmao

to kill the environment to make it uninhabitable for humans, also to breed plague and transport it around the world to kill humans

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 20:22

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Dustcat posted:

a conundrum for the ages

https://twitter.com/dabeard/status/1235973596201111553

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 20:50

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 3 days!; Ultra Carp

Reminder: Every government agency, every single area of responsibility that the federal administration touches on, is just as badly hosed up, corrupted, and incompetent as the CDC has been revealed to be. It's bad!

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 20:55