tips to convince my father in law i understand fishing

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > tips to convince my father in law i understand fishing

«‹›2 »

Heather Papps: hello friend

hello yes i have tried actually going fishing dont be a dick. the worms are gross and the water was very very gross.

anyways i need some terminology or tricks to make my wifes dad think i'm a real man and therefor worthy of her womb.
i tried wearing hip waders but he just laughed and asked me if i thought i was fly for a white guy and i think if i gently caress up again he's going to kill me.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 04:06

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

the hole in the top of the creel is so there's room for the neck of the wine bottle to stick out and for God's sake bring a nice white wine for the picnic , not a red or you'll never live it down

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:42

Heather Papps: hello friend

Hugh Malone posted:

the hole in the top of the creel is so there's room for the neck of the wine bottle to stick out and for God's sake bring a nice white wine for the picnic , not a red or you'll never live it down

okay do i need to bring ice? there will be moms there

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:43

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

yes the ice is for putting in the water. fish are cold blooded and they love it, also it slows them down so they're easier to catch.

you put it in AFTER you yell "Good Morning Fish!", but before your first cast

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:48

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

oh yeah you have to yell at the fish to wake them up, you can't catch fish that are asleep

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:49

Heather Papps: hello friend

am i using sarcasm to the fish? does it matter if i actually want them to have a good morning?

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:51

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

generally speaking there are four (4) types of fish to know: there's the One Fish, the Two Fish. then there's also the Red Fish and the Blue Fish.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:53

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

you have to clean and dress the fish? so bring some soap and maybe a cute, little outfit for the fish to wear

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:56

Heather Papps: hello friend

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

you have to clean and dress the fish? so bring some soap and maybe a cute, little outfit for the fish to wear

will dr bronners soap be okay do you think also what season is a fish? i would guess a summer but i am not sure

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:59

alnilam

Heather Papps posted:

will dr bronners soap be okay do you think also what season is a fish? i would guess a summer but i am not sure

If you bring bronners make sure you know ALL of the moral ABC and the tenets of the ALL ONE OR NONE God faith, you will be asked about them

# ? Feb 13, 2020 01:17

biosterous

a certain masked man once told me that you have to do a little dance and sing "come on, get in the boat, little fishie!"

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 13, 2020 01:24

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

How familiar are you with the fine art of cheap beer-drinking?

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:03

Heather Papps: hello friend

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

How familiar are you with the fine art of cheap beer-drinking?

oh no this is worse than i imagined

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:06

Heather Papps: hello friend

okay so my wife just said that i can tune a piano, but not a fish and now everyone is laughing i do not get this is this a "joke"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:07

google THIS

The trick is deflecting your lack of knowledge by pretending you're really good at another, made-up type of fishing that he's never heard of. This will make him self-conscious and change the power dynamic.

(fumbling with rod) Oh yeah, I haven't done this in a while. I prefer dongrel fishing with a plasmodium corker. Well, I'd love to bring you next time but you're not a club member. Yeah, they're not accepting new applicants right now. Well of course they have a website but it's on the dark web.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:26

Gross Dude: Gross Dude

Use a duck as bait, when he sees you cast that into the lake he'll know you're not fishing for any guppies.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:33

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Just keep repeating "fishing is a jerk on one end of the line waiting for a jerk on the other" any time he asks you a fishing question. Throw in a "golf is a perfectly good walk hosed up by a little white ball!" too, to mix it up every now and then.

Any questions that result in a "yes" should be answered with "does a bear poo poo in the woods?" with a knowing look and laugh.

Drinking a beer instead of talking is good too, just don't pass out and end up being used as bait...

# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:18

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

Keep telling him that your advanced fishing techniques are beyond him and that he "wouldn't understand."

# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:23

alnilam

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Just keep repeating "fishing is a jerk on one end of the line waiting for a jerk on the other" any time he asks you a fishing question. Throw in a "golf is a perfectly good walk hosed up by a little white ball!" too, to mix it up every now and then.

Any questions that result in a "yes" should be answered with "does a bear poo poo in the woods?" with a knowing look and laugh.

Drinking a beer instead of talking is good too, just don't pass out and end up being used as bait...

That would be an ecumenical matter

# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:26

Finger Prince

Mumble-sing to yourself "barracuda" by Heart the whole time but only clearly sing the line "ooooh barracuda".

# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:23

City of Glompton

if the fish offers to grant a wish so that you will set it free, do that, but choose wisely and don't keep coming back asking to change your wish for something better!

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:28

Escape From Noise

If anyone mentions work just reply with "Work is for people who don't know how to FISH!" I read this on a bumper sticker once

# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:34

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

eating an electric eel will give you super powers. just not the ones you'd expect

# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:48

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

go ahead, ask me how I became known as Mr Electric, the man with the amazing charisma of an eel

# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:57

Yinlock

conspicuously read a book with a fish on the cover so show how savvy you are

# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:59

Finger Prince

My last name is Papps, but my mom's maiden name is Highliner. As in Captain.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 05:03

google THIS

(after an entire day with nary a nibble) See? I'm so good at fishing the fish fear me.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 05:11

DelilahFlowers

At the minimum you'll need to finish one playthrough of Fire Emblem Three Houses. More advanced knowledge comes from repeat playthrough. Get the expansion pass and play the dlc to learn secret fishing techniques even he wouldn't know. Also it will give you fashion ideas for your angler outfit to attract the fishes.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 05:29

Yinlock

*hefting my bundle of harpoons out of the trunk* well i'm ready, where we diving

# ? Feb 13, 2020 05:41

Escape From Noise

Invest in a Bass Pro cap and bumper sticker

# ? Feb 13, 2020 06:32

Macnult

haha that sure is one ugly stick! like the brand. i wasn�t calling it ugly as in gross. is that actually an ugly stik? i can�t say i�ve heard anyone complain about their stuff

# ? Feb 13, 2020 08:27

Heather Papps: hello friend

okay so it worked but now he wants me to take him to the secret fishing spot i lied about and bought us tickets to see the roughriders play the roughriders.
at least fish have different names how the heck am i gonna figure out football?

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 16:30

Heather Papps: hello friend

Macnult posted:

haha that sure is one ugly stick! like the brand. i wasn�t calling it ugly as in gross. is that actually an ugly stik? i can�t say i�ve heard anyone complain about their stuff

i made a "to fish or not to fish? what a dumb question" while indicating towards him with this:

but he did not laugh very hard.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 16:32

deep dish peat moss

Buy 6 fish from the fish market and take them with you to the boat. As soon as he turns away place all six fish within his vision and say "I forgot how fast I was at fishing, haha. I'm at my limit for the day, are you almost done?"

# ? Feb 13, 2020 17:28

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

deep dish peat moss posted:

Buy 6 fish from the fish market and take them with you to the boat. As soon as he turns away place all six fish within his vision and say "I forgot how fast I was at fishing, haha. I'm at my limit for the day, are you almost done?"

take a sharpie and wrtie the numbers 1-5 on the first 5 fish then write 7 on the 6th fish. this will confuse the hell out of every body, buying you time to learn more about fishing

# ? Feb 13, 2020 17:35

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Bring a giant harpoon, smoke a pipe and ask everybody on the lake if they've seen that accursed white whale

# ? Feb 13, 2020 20:51

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

keep in mind that although fly fishing is obviously fake, it's fake like pro wrestling and is still a sport.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 21:06

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

I mean, you can see the string, it's like right there. no one is really trying to fool anyone

# ? Feb 13, 2020 21:06

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

Buy a small toy fish, place it close to camera then place yourself far away, stretch your arms out to "hold" the fish and show him how great a fisher you are.

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Feb 13, 2020 22:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 04:06

Ventral EggSac

Tell him you've only ever been noodling for catfish. This way it explains why you can't use a fishing rod, while also making you look cool. Remember to have a dog bite up your fingers and toes beforehand, to really sell it.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 22:50

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > tips to convince my father in law i understand fishing

«‹›2 »