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I had a Shamrock Shake and a double Filet-O-Fish at McDonalds the other day for old times sake. I try to avoid meat on Fridays during Lent and the Filet-O-Fish was always pretty good. Well wouldn't you know it but it gave me wicked bad diarrhea. loving Fast Food!! I'll spare you the details but I've been spewing hot liquid lava out of my rear end pretty much 24/7 and going through toilet paper at an alarming rate. Here's the problem: all the stores are out of toilet paper. WTF am I going to do? And for all the wisenheimers that are gonna say "just get a bidet  " well you still need something to dry the moisture from your rear end and that's where toilet paper would come in. So don't even try. Any goons have any ideas?
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Mar 15, 2020 14:59
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 21:16 |
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find some rupert-murdoch-owned newspapers
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Mar 15, 2020 15:00
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you're wasting paper by wiping between furious shits. spend the day open-rear end over the toilet until you're empty.
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Mar 15, 2020 15:01
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poo poo in the toilet then take a quick shower that's mostly for clearing out your anus
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Mar 15, 2020 15:02
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Also goddamn at the double filet o fish that's like 800x the daily intake of sodium through mayo
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Mar 15, 2020 15:02
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Parsley posted:you're wasting paper by wiping between furious shits. spend the day open-rear end over the toilet until you're empty. yeah just set up your computer in the bathroom for maximum shitposting efficiency
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Mar 15, 2020 15:09
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Glenn Quebec posted:Also goddamn at the double filet o fish that's like 800x the daily intake of sodium through mayo The conventional Filet-O-Fish has too much bread for me, it's hard to swallow
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Mar 15, 2020 15:10
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:Any goons have any ideas?
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Mar 15, 2020 15:11
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have you tried other forms of paper, like paper towels or napkins? just throw them in the trash like you're in a third world country afterwards also what that guy said upthread about waiting to be empty before wiping
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Mar 15, 2020 15:14
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bidet & hair dryer combo, your rear end hair will be extra voluminous as a nice bonus
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Mar 15, 2020 15:14
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rear end blasting is pretty normal after eating mcdonalds
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Mar 15, 2020 15:15
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print out some anime and wipe your rear end with that
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Mar 15, 2020 15:16
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Mar 15, 2020 15:17
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You need like 2 squares to dry yourself after using a bidet.
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Mar 15, 2020 15:29
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My bidet blows scalding hot air into my rear end in a top hat
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Mar 15, 2020 15:30
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Robo Reagan posted:rear end blasting is pretty normal after eating mcdonalds loving LOL tell me about it. I thought maybe this time would be different but my butthole was like 
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Mar 15, 2020 15:35
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Glenn Quebec posted:My bidet blows scalding hot air into my rear end in a top hat drat, sounds like i need a bidet
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Mar 15, 2020 15:45
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Stores will be restocked in a few days, probably. https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2020-03-14/coronavirus-will-we-run-out-of-toilet-paper
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Mar 15, 2020 16:41
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Is fish not a meat
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Mar 15, 2020 16:45
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go back to mcdonalds and take napkins to wipe
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Mar 15, 2020 16:46
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Your butt might be infected. Eat some peppers to cauterize it
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Mar 15, 2020 16:47
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Hell just live in the mcdonalds bathroom till it all passes. go occupy the family bathroom at target for a day.
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Mar 15, 2020 16:49
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The OP is fake, no one would willingly eat the fillet o fish. All the food in the world except the fillet o fish could turn into poison and everyone would choose starvation.
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Mar 15, 2020 16:51
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when it comes to toilet paper you want to be focused on the task at hand. dont want to be caught with your pants down
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Mar 15, 2020 17:03
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Got some for you at a reasonable mark-up OP, shoot me a PM.
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Mar 15, 2020 17:10
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ANUSTART posted:Is fish not a meat Religiously no Scientifically yes
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Mar 15, 2020 17:15
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Ok things are getting desperate: I'm down to my last roll of TP. I tried wiping with paper towel just to "try it out" but that's a no go - my butthole and surrounding area are too red and inflamed for that. Hell I wouldnt be surprised if the skin is broken back there. I've sent an SOS out to my immediate social circle - responses pneding
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Mar 15, 2020 19:12
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Brute Hole Force posted:Religiously no Erasure of pescetarianism!
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Mar 15, 2020 20:38
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good, OP. i hope you no longer burden the health services after this
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Mar 15, 2020 21:11
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Do a handstand in the shower to preserve toilet paper
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Mar 15, 2020 21:15
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go buy some baby wipes for your baby butthole then. or dude wipes if you believe marketing is enough to protect your manliness lol
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Mar 15, 2020 21:16
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Is the shamrock shake ok this year or is it still oversweetened garbage?
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Mar 15, 2020 21:37
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Is that what you call sparing us the details
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Mar 15, 2020 21:52
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Just eat a shitload of cheese my man. You'll be so plugged up for the next two weeks you won't go through toilet paper bing bong
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Mar 15, 2020 22:02
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Is this crisis making anyone else horny
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Mar 15, 2020 22:05
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Rip in peace OP. You had a good runs.
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Mar 15, 2020 22:10
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Stop eating. No input, no output.
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Mar 15, 2020 22:14
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make peace with your god
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Mar 15, 2020 22:17
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I’ll pray for your butthole
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Mar 15, 2020 22:26
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 21:16 |
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poo poo in the shower OP!
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Mar 15, 2020 23:01
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