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lady gaga, lizzo, and the property brothers all team up in song to tell me that reading is just as good as hot, passionate coitus |
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Mar 26, 2020 00:41
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i was okay until they did the line of posters with popular pornography actors with lines like "i only gently caress readers, because reading is just like sex" emblazoned across them
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Mar 26, 2020 00:45
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"what about you matty have you had sex?" ".... yes." smash cut to matty reading dune in his bedroom
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Mar 26, 2020 00:46
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Steve from Minecraft and dolly parton show up in a PornHub ad and speak in unison: "reading a book is a lot like fuckin: just spread it wide and dive right in!" i can't close the browser
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Mar 26, 2020 01:34
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the geico gecko turns a page of Harry Potter and the juggling man. both of his hands are in shot and do not move
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Mar 26, 2020 01:49
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daniel craig pops up from a storm drain. "you know what reading a book and having sex with your spouse is like? when i get bored, i stick a bookmark in it and come back later" he chirps before receding into blackness
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Mar 26, 2020 01:49
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the hamburger helper glove thumbs through moby dick and my stepdad
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Mar 26, 2020 01:51
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Always wear a condom when reading.
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Mar 26, 2020 02:47
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This campaign is making my avatar seem gross.
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Mar 26, 2020 02:50
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i thought i could escape them through the mercy of sleep, but somehow on the inside of my eyelids they've tattooed a sexualized cartoon book with big lips and breasts. it has word balloons saying "impregnate your brain with the jizz of knowledge" and "stick your dick in my pages and slam me shut on your dick." they've completely lost track of the metaphor
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Mar 26, 2020 04:48
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FutonForensic posted:Steve from Minecraft and dolly parton show up in a PornHub ad and speak in unison: "reading a book is a lot like fuckin: just spread it wide and dive right in!" i can't close the browser FutonForensic posted:daniel craig pops up from a storm drain. "you know what reading a book and having sex with your spouse is like? when i get bored, i stick a bookmark in it and come back later" he chirps before receding into blackness FutonForensic posted:i thought i could escape them through the mercy of sleep, but somehow on the inside of my eyelids they've tattooed a sexualized cartoon book with big lips and breasts. it has word balloons saying "impregnate your brain with the jizz of knowledge" and "stick your dick in my pages and slam me shut on your dick." they've completely lost track of the metaphor lkmao
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Mar 26, 2020 05:56
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lmao |
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Mar 26, 2020 06:37
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| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQiEJk-o5WA | |
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Mar 26, 2020 11:46
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Mar 26, 2020 12:04
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Bought this shirt so I can advertise my perverse desire to gently caress books to the world. https://www.feistees.com/reading-is-sexy-gilmore-t-shirt/
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Mar 26, 2020 12:08
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me: excuse me miss, could you tell me where I can find the library? her: the what? me: . . . *sigh* I mean, the literary fuckstravaganza?
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Mar 26, 2020 13:17
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Manifisto posted:me: excuse me miss, could you tell me where I can find the library? |
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Mar 26, 2020 13:27
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Looking at a book on the coffee table, wanting to read it, but just can't pick it up. I read the title. 'Don't Worry, It Happens To A Lot Of Guys'. I slump back into the couch, dejected, and turn on the tv. |
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Mar 26, 2020 13:31
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Watching football, every ad break seems to be either for pickup trucks or dyslexia drugs. Usually both. |
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Mar 26, 2020 13:32
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New Book It! Program is a lot raunchier lately. |
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Mar 26, 2020 13:35
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Went running in flip flops the other day just to remember what flipping pages sounds like. |
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Mar 26, 2020 13:37
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forging signatures to lie about how many people I’ve slept with as a grown up so I can win the Nickelodeon alarm clock
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Mar 26, 2020 13:49
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librarians date-stamping books a little too enthusiastically, while muttering "you like that?"
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Mar 26, 2020 13:49
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Finger Prince posted:Looking at a book on the coffee table, wanting to read it, but just can't pick it up. I read the title. 'Don't Worry, It Happens To A Lot Of Guys'. I slump back into the couch, dejected, and turn on the tv. |
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Mar 26, 2020 14:13
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Finger Prince posted:Looking at a book on the coffee table, wanting to read it, but just can't pick it up. I read the title. 'Don't Worry, It Happens To A Lot Of Guys'. I slump back into the couch, dejected, and turn on the tv. |
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Mar 26, 2020 14:27
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 They can't even be subtle about it, can they? No shame. |
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Mar 26, 2020 14:30
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google THIS posted:
at least it's better than nonfiction, where all the exciting stuff is packed into a quick summary at the beginning and the rest is just a slog
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Mar 26, 2020 14:45
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like sorry honey, you know I love getting you to finish but you know this takes a while and I have to go to sleep
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Mar 26, 2020 14:46
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alnilam posted:at least it's better than nonfiction, where all the exciting stuff is packed into a quick summary at the beginning and the rest is just a slog Foreplay is what matters the most after all tbh
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Mar 26, 2020 15:00
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Thinking about watching TV so I don't finish the book too fast. |
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Mar 26, 2020 15:21
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Whoops, I dropped my monster reading glasses that I use for my magnum eyes. |
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Mar 26, 2020 15:57
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I just moved in next to the library and the all day moaning is becoming unbearable.
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Mar 26, 2020 16:16
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Finger Prince posted:Watching football, every ad break seems to be either for pickup trucks or dyslexia drugs. Usually both. Manifisto posted:librarians date-stamping books a little too enthusiastically, while muttering "you like that?"
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Mar 26, 2020 17:12
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there was a hole in the book cover?! welp. guess I'll be getting vol. 2 in nine months
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Mar 26, 2020 17:34
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Scene: A late middle aged couple embracing on a beach, watching the sunset. In the background lies an open book face down on a beach blanket Narrator: Be ready for anything Scene: A handsome middle aged man gives his pretty female partner an appreciative glance at a formal event held in a grand old world library. Narrator: When inspiration strikes Scene: an elderly gentleman barbequeing for while grandchildren toss a football. His wife approaches, holding a book, and takes his hand. Narrator: Adderall can keep you in the game Adderall is not for everyone. Speak your physician to see if Adderall is right for you. Do not take Adderall if are also taking MAOIs, as this could lead to a serious increase in blood pressure. If you experience attention spans lasting longer than four hours, seek medical attention immediately. The side effects of Adderall vary widely among individuals, but most commonly include insomnia, dry mouth, and loss of appetite. Adderall. For when inspiration strikes. |
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Mar 26, 2020 18:20
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lmao
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Mar 26, 2020 18:27
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Girl 1: So I was at Billy's place last night and he told me he just finished a new book. You'll never guess.... Girl 2: Infinite Jest? Girl 1: (nods): Infinite Jest Girl 2: Yeah right. He's got like what, a second grade reading level tops. Girl 1: I know right? *sighs* why do men always lie about their page count?
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Mar 26, 2020 19:20
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Finger Prince posted:Watching football, every ad break seems to be either for pickup trucks or dyslexia drugs. Usually both. |
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Mar 26, 2020 19:44
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He ain't much to look at, sure. Ain't much to talk to either. But girrrl, that boy can READ a BOOK! |
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Mar 26, 2020 19:57
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:48 |
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every page stuck together
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Mar 26, 2020 20:02
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