[COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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Oneiros: Jan 12, 2007

Inceltown posted:

https://twitter.com/cd_hooks/status/1254174003146743808

the chuds have returned to their habitat nature is healing

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:10

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# ? May 20, 2024 08:56

Samsquamsch: Jun 6, 2011; Mexican touchdown, Mexican touchdown, Mexican touchdooooown!

atomicgeek posted:

Bean talk has been on the wane, but I have bean wisdom to share. To wit, if you have dry beans, and you just don't loving know how to transform them into hot, tasty fiber, here's what you do:

Get a pound of dry beans, and pick through them. Get rid of beans with broken skins, beans that are shriveled, beans that cry out to you in strange voices, beans that only you can see and nobody else in the room, and beans that remind you of your dead lover. Cursed beans cook just fine but honestly it's not worth having cursed burritos on the other end. Also, the shriveled ones turn into loving rocks and sometimes you bite them and it's horrible.

Put the beans in a really big pot. Cover them with 2-3 inches of water, and bring it to a boil. Boil them for two minutes, turn off the heat, cover the pot, and walk off for two hours. Play a video game that only partly satisfies you. Stare outside. Pet your cat absently and mentally construct a dovecote or a poison garden outside your stale, tiny apartment. Shake off your reverie, write in your journal about what is to come, come back inside, and tend to your beans.

Bring the beans back up to a boil and partially cover them this time. Check every 15 minutes or so; taste your cooking beans, and once they're tender to a level that you like, turn off the heat and get ready for THE GREAT PACKING. Basically you want containers for your beans that contain an amount you'd use in a typical recipe (for most beans it's gonna be dividing your dry pound into 3-4 cooked portions) PLUS room for bean juice. Myself, I mostly cook black beans and divide them in 3. You want room in your storage to soak the beans in bean juice with a little room left over for freezing expansion, plus you're going to splash in some vinegar (it does not matter what kind)(In my case, I do a capful of rice vinegar, which I estimate to be roughly 1 tbsp). Goons will tell you bean juice is what farts are made of, but that's also where nutrition is stored. What's worse to you? Wasting away, pale and sad, or being strong and firm and farting like Hephaestus himself as he works his mighty volcanic forge? I know where I've thrown my lot in.

Anyway, shove those containers in your freezer, they'll take about a day to defrost when you need them, and you will. You'll need beans.

Big thanks for the write-up, and a free bump for you and anyone else who has never cooked with non-pre-hydrated beans. After hearing about the ~6% reduction in the meatpacking industry, I am embracing my future in dry beans and will use this advice. The grocery store nearest to me is a regional chain with interestingly individualized stores, with mine serving a pretty sizeable local latino community (I mention this because I live in a sea of white people), and I haven't seen a shortage of beans/dried peppers like in other stores. We're set to reopen state-wide in about a week, but I won't be going anywhere except work and this grocery store until the end of summer.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:10

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Trixie Hardcore posted:

We ordered a bottle of whiskey via curbside and checked the box that said they could make substitutions because hey let's not be picky about brands right now but they substituted whiskey for FLAVORED whiskey and now I have a big rear end bottle of toasted caramel "how desperate are you really" that I paid $40 for.

lmao owned

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:11

GovIsLyingBoutCvD: Apr 21, 2020; by Cyrano4747

etalian posted:

Yeah the CBO claiming the unemployment and economy will turn around in 1 quarter / 3rd Quarter looks like a garbage prediction given real world history,

When did they claim that?

GovIsLyingBoutCvD has issued a correction as of 04:14 on Apr 26, 2020

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:11

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

GovIsLyingBoutCvD posted:

When ddi they claim that?

lol, wow all in quarter they predict the employment will improve from 16% to 11% when historical records show recession require multiple years to recover.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:13

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Inceltown posted:

roni break. Look at this couples happy relationship puff piece get them owned.

#relationshipgoals

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:14

endlessmonotony: Nov 4, 2009; by Fritz the Horse

Oneiros posted:

the chuds have returned to their habitat nature is healing

I wonder if that'll be in a future textbook showing how the bad people look like anyone else, like they did with the nazis.

I mean, all white, but that's expected.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:14

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

etalian posted:

lol, wow all in quarter they predict the employment will improve from 16% to 11% when historical records show recession require multiple years to recover.

ahahaha this is some magical thinking bullshit

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:16

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

The economy will bounce back for those that matter. The rich

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:17

Mayor Dave: Feb 20, 2009; Bernie the Snow Clown

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:18

Mayor Dave: Feb 20, 2009; Bernie the Snow Clown

love my idiot town

https://twitter.com/baseballnchill/status/1254170621975486464?s=20

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:22

Wrex Ruckus: Aug 24, 2015

2DCAT posted:

When did the forums get a property app?

The landlords got tired of their thread getting invaded so they made an app

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:22

erosion: Dec 21, 2002; It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

So I don't know if I mentioned I took leave from work at a major drug store because customers are acting stupid (Davenport, IA) and personally it has been wonderful. Normally I don't want to leave the house anyway - not agoraphobia, just nothing I find rewarding out there. I'm getting excited finally cleaning and organizing the house and garage after moving in four years ago, and these are some messy rear end people. Living my best life, at least some good is coming from this.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:24

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Flesh Forge posted:

ahahaha this is some magical thinking bullshit

Once to again emphasize there has never been a recession in US history that didn't take years to recover to the pre-recession unemployment numbers.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:24

Reverend Dr: Feb 9, 2005; Thanks Reverend

Chris James 2 posted:

https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1253921591253139456

nature is healing

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:28

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Mayor Dave posted:

love my idiot town

https://twitter.com/baseballnchill/status/1254170621975486464?s=20

i feel for them. i'm getting super lonely this week, hormones are wack yo
i wanna buy a strange woman a drink and makeout in the bar bathroom

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:30

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

https://mobile.twitter.com/ryanstruyk/status/1254247571276603396

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:31

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Mayor Dave posted:

love my idiot town

https://twitter.com/baseballnchill/status/1254170621975486464?s=20

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:32

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

guys. guys. sources close to my bloodline are telling me we need to build a wall around New York and then reopen the country so people can get their dignity back.

we got em.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:33

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

Charlz Guybon posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/ryanstruyk/status/1254247571276603396

really dislike this guy's reporting, he never ever gives any loving context period. I can understand not on every tweet but he just pastes in the bare minimum every time, never links any analysis or context.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:36

Pardot: Jul 25, 2001

Cithen posted:

beans here! get your beans here!

https://meh.com/

someone already posted it, but didn't include the complicated link

this thread is now linked from their main page as a top referrer because you posted this i hope youre happy

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:37

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

someone post that nature is healing animal in the ocean tweet for me

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:37

Pardot: Jul 25, 2001

Pardot posted:

this thread is now linked from their main page as a top referrer because you posted this i hope youre happy

we should post it from the pisstape thread on some other day to drive traffic to pisstape from meh

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:38

facetoucher cat: Dec 20, 2013; by sebmojo

https://twitter.com/AFP/status/1254246504706879489

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:39

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Pardot posted:

this thread is now linked from their main page as a top referrer because you posted this i hope youre happy

greetings meh dot com readers! welcome to cspam.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:39

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Kim Jong Un dying

the undying

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

Cool, just found out my blood pressure is like 155/110 and I'm turning 40 next month.

I was dying before roni was cool

that�s only like a 2% chance to die, according to that article

Although... if you�ve played XCOM...

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:39

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

hello thread, any good (hell, GREAT) news today? It can�t be all bad, still?

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:40

not an endorsement: Mar 14, 2008; Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.

Mayor Dave posted:

love my idiot town

https://twitter.com/baseballnchill/status/1254170621975486464?s=20

*ghanan dancing pallbearers stroll in, clad in bathing suits*

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:40

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

that�s only like a 2% chance to die, according to that article

Although... if you�ve played XCOM...

https://twitter.com/fujyno/status/1238155063283142656

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:41

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Ruggan posted:

someone post that nature is healing animal in the ocean tweet for me

Mayor Dave posted:

love my idiot town

https://twitter.com/baseballnchill/status/1254170621975486464?s=20

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:43

not an endorsement: Mar 14, 2008; Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.

etalian posted:

https://twitter.com/fujyno/status/1238155063283142656

new mini x-com is fun for being xeno cops

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:45

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

not an endorsement posted:

new mini x-com is fun for being xeno cops

It feels low production / all the asset re-use but at least it's only $10...

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:46

not an endorsement: Mar 14, 2008; Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.

etalian posted:

It feels low production / all the asset re-use but at least it's only $10...

paid $10 usd for breach mechanic, worth it

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:47

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

https://twitter.com/taladorei/status/1243190429283213313?s=20

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:50

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

If I get a vaccine made from Tom Hanks blood, does that mean I am able to collect royalties on his movies since I my blood would be full of Tom Hanks?

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:53

Rookoo: Jul 24, 2007

Spinz posted:

Well I don't know what you mean by palate is poo poo. I roasted carrots, sweet potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, zuchinni, and onions after sprinkling with olive oil. Whatever they had I bought. Almost doesn't matter with veggies. 375 ish on a cookie sheet on parchment paper, easy clean up

And I sauteed in olive oil kale, leeks, bok choy, onions etc
And put this ^ cold atop lettuces

In addition I ate raw veggies too. The roasted and sauteed veggies are genuinely good and again you can eat a HUGE amount of veggies and not go high in calories. No dip or anything. Ate an avocado a day too for fat.

I'm blessed with loving veggies. Besides this I ate fruit and roasted chicken. We all know how to eat right. I knew that I really really was going to eat a lot (I had quit smoking) so I made sure I had plenty of veggies to eat. It really worked.

Good luck, pm if you want.

I just mean i'm too used to food with shitloads of salt/sugar etc. so a lot of vegetables just taste really bad to me. I'm well aware i'll get used to it after a bit though, so I think I'll power through it when I can get a regular supply of vegetables on the go. Cheers, lol.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:54

shovelbum: Oct 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

I cleaned my office and now I can't stop being happy ugh, we still live in hell tho

# ? Apr 26, 2020 04:55

Hot Karl Marx: Mar 16, 2009; Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!

https://twitter.com/ilovejohnkimble/status/1254235642487332865

# ? Apr 26, 2020 05:11

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Mayor Dave posted:

love my idiot town

https://twitter.com/baseballnchill/status/1254170621975486464?s=20

Move to LA county, man. We have free tests that are easy to get, we require masks in all businesses, and we have relatively thorough lockdown

I heard only 1/3 of Anaheim shoppers wear masks, sheesh

# ? Apr 26, 2020 05:14

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# ? May 20, 2024 08:56

Moongrave: Jun 19, 2004; Finally Living Rent Free

facetoucher cat posted:

https://twitter.com/AFP/status/1254246504706879489

This MFer so fat he gotta have a train lmao

# ? Apr 26, 2020 05:18

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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