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He never farts, like ever, but he does burp constantly. He’s one of those test tube dogs that doesn’t shed and is hypoallergenic and poo poo, and I think they removed the farting gene.  Hard to say but I think he’s sad about it.
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Apr 19, 2020 15:38
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:08 |
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You got ya covered little buddy *Ffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrttttttt*
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Apr 19, 2020 15:41
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why did you attach a picture of your kitchen floor to the post, op? why not post the dog?
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Apr 19, 2020 15:43
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:why did you attach a picture of your kitchen floor to the post, op? why not post the dog? If you look closely the dog is in the photograph. It’s the furry thing sitting atop the kitchen floor.
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Apr 19, 2020 15:44
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Well if this isn't the most adorable dustmop I've ever seen! 
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Apr 19, 2020 15:45
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Told my oldest dog to go to bed the other night and he farted his way up the entire staircase in protest. THAT was something. Also maybe give your dog some baked beans with his kibble or mix in some sardines+oil if you're 'dining it up with the sardine thread folks, and you should be. That will properly motivate your dogs rear end.
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Apr 19, 2020 15:45
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Is your dog getting enough hot pockets in his diet?
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Apr 19, 2020 15:46
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He eats purina dog food, and gets milk bone treats, but also regular people food if I’m having something. He loves French fries and I’ll cut up little pieces of steak even. But never a fart. I could try baked beans, but anything with a sauce just wrecks his mustache and beard, makes it all crunchy and poo poo. Could a biologist or veterinarian weigh in on this? What I need to know is was farting bred out of this designer doodle dog?
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Apr 19, 2020 15:49
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Higher end veterinarians provide a service where they will periodically fill your dog with farts so your dog can fart them.
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Apr 19, 2020 15:50
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bird with big dick posted:Higher end veterinarians provide a service where they will periodically fill your dog with farts so your dog can fart them. What’s this procedure called? I’m googling it but some pretty weird stuff is coming up, and not anything about local veterinarians.
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Apr 19, 2020 15:55
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If he does start dropping rancid farts you won't like that either OP, you complain everywhere you go. Also he's begging to be brushed, and fear of his farts is no excuse.
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Apr 19, 2020 16:00
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maybe he's just really polite and holds them in until he's outside pooping
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Apr 19, 2020 16:01
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beanieson posted:If you look closely the dog is in the photograph. It’s the furry thing sitting atop the kitchen floor. 
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Apr 19, 2020 16:03
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beanieson posted:What’s this procedure called? I’m googling it but some pretty weird stuff is coming up, and not anything about local veterinarians. Canine gastrotintubernational procedures are costly and could harm your dog if not done well. In addition, if you intend to show your dog at one of the more reputable dog farting competitions, judges will look for signs of artificial inflation that show signs of gastrointubernation. Dogs providing odorless farts, noisy farts, quiet farts, dogs licking their lips, dogs sniffing at other dogs butts, dogs walking, dogs running, dogs passing gas before or after the competition, dogs napping, dogs eating or not eating, dogs asking for treats when it's clearly not earned, all very distinct signs your dog has been gastrointubernated. Most healthy dogs will be able to fart naturally and on command with only modest duress or some extreme or completely unnoticed signs at any time to show that they aren't undergoing any artificial means to increase their performance. If your dog's farts take on a high pitched whistling noise, or you're unable to train them to take up even a basic rhythm after the slightest amount of effort, your dog is likely to die and needs to be put down humanely as soon as possible before it can pass on these harmful defects to other dogs nearby.
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Apr 19, 2020 16:06
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gary oldmans diary posted:no the tilework just resembles that but look closer yeah the op has just posted an off-centre image of what looks like a mat on a tiled floor. curious behaviour
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Apr 19, 2020 16:07
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He could be farting all the time for all you know, OP Silent but not deadly. Conversely, my dog farts really loudly and it stinks to high heaven. You're lucky. Also he looks adorable!
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Apr 19, 2020 16:12
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gary oldmans diary posted:no the tilework just resembles that but look closer Guys there is a dog in the first post, and now what you’ve done here is attempt to hide the dog under a small floor mat. Foolishly, you didn’t completely cover the dog as it’s still mostly visible.
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Apr 19, 2020 16:17
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Big Beef City posted:If your dog's farts take on a high pitched whistling noise,... Dog gay, so what.
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Apr 19, 2020 16:22
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It's well known that dogs will only fart in the presence of humans they respect
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Apr 19, 2020 16:26
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Apr 19, 2020 16:33
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angryrobots posted:It's well known that dogs will only fart in the presence of humans they respect This is very troubling if true
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Apr 19, 2020 16:34
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beanieson posted:He never farts, like ever, but he does burp constantly. He’s one of those test tube dogs that doesn’t shed and is hypoallergenic and poo poo, and I think they removed the farting gene. My cat never used to fart, 13 wonderful fart free years. Now he is on a laxative. All he does is fart. Be careful what you wish for, OP. (This is a true story)
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Apr 19, 2020 16:37
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Sniff his butt, op, he might surprise you!
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Apr 19, 2020 16:37
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Actually no, he hates getting haircuts ever since about a year ago when some lady gave him The Worst Haircut. Here’s a before and after  He looked like a snobbish rear end in a top hat for weeks and ever since won’t willingly go near a groomers clippers.
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Apr 19, 2020 16:46
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1redflag posted:You got ya covered little buddy *Ffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrttttttt* All I hear is alexa reading your posts
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Apr 19, 2020 16:48
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Apr 19, 2020 16:51
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seems like your not supposed to cut a dogs whiskers
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Apr 19, 2020 16:53
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why do they call'em whiskers when i ain't never seen a dog whisk with'em
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Apr 19, 2020 18:19
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Your dog is saving up his farts. He will release one huge fart approximately every year. You might want to make sure this happens outdoors, or you will need to evacuate your house for a few days. If your dog hasn’t farted for over two years, he may be at risk for explosion. Call the bomb squad if your dog show signs of blowing up.
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Apr 19, 2020 19:29
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I don't think he's past his expiration date he should be fine as long as there's no mold
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Apr 19, 2020 19:42
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are you sure he's not just farting and blaming it on you?
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Apr 19, 2020 19:46
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Dog is farting in your face while you sleep. Do you often dream of eggs?
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Apr 19, 2020 20:00
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I got a bulldog, op. I'll sell you some of his farts, they are loving wretched.
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Apr 19, 2020 20:06
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Nice mop OP. Did you get it on sale?
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Apr 19, 2020 20:14
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Fart at the dog; it either might be shy about farting or is secretly a Silent But Deadly farter at night.
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Apr 19, 2020 20:25
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Nice mop OP. Did you get it on sale? wait till billy mays gets a hold of this one
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Apr 19, 2020 20:32
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Dog is farting in your face while you sleep. Do you often dream of eggs? I dreamed once that my car broke down right near the beach and a whale carcass was rotting nearby, and I was stuck there waiting on triple A. marathon Stairmaster sesh posted:Fart at the dog; it either might be shy about farting or is secretly a Silent But Deadly farter at night. I just tried this and he reacted somewhat quizzically. I can’t say for sure that he grasps what I’m trying to show him. He’s not a very bright dog unfortunately.
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Apr 19, 2020 21:52
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Clean your filthy mop OP.
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Apr 19, 2020 21:59
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Its just proving it is the alpha in the heigharchy.
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Apr 20, 2020 00:21
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:08 |
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When I wake up (when I wake up) When I wake up (when I wake up!) I'm gonna be the dog won't fart here for you! When I go out (when I go out) When I go out (when I go out!) I'm gonna be the dog that won't toot there for you! If I get drunk (if I get drunk) If I get drunk (if I get drunk!) I won't be the dog that farts right next to you! If I haver (if I haver) If I haver (if I haver!) Not gonna be the dog that's fartin know that's true! And I would poop 500 piles and I would poop 500 more Just to be the DOG that Pooped a thousand PILES To bark and fart no more!
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Apr 20, 2020 01:41
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