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Nuts and Gum posted:Did the college have any kind of placement options within an industry or anything? What? No. I don't think that's a thing in America. Is this something they do in Europe or Canada?
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May 26, 2020 04:56
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Not the absolute stupidest thing I've done but when I was 16 we visited Ireland, I drank some water from a small stream on a hike and poo poo my brains out for like a day.
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May 26, 2020 06:02
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Linux Pirate posted:Not the absolute stupidest thing I've done but when I was 16 we visited Ireland, I drank some water from a small stream on a hike and poo poo my brains out for like a day. the title indicates a superlative, make with the story.
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May 26, 2020 06:04
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There were a couple of years there where I was heavily abusing pharmaceuticals and I don't remember anything that happened at all during that time. But when I run into someone I knew from that period they're always like "remember when you did thisorthat? Dude you were nuts!" and I can't loving believe I used to be like that and I just feel loving embarassed.
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May 26, 2020 06:18
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LabyaMynora posted:What? No. I don't think that's a thing in America. Is this something they do in Europe or Canada? It 100% is a thing in America. Most universities, and even a lot of community colleges have job placement services, internship programs, work study, and apprenticeship programs. I've attended three different schools: a more prestigious university, a state school, and a community college. All of them had a job center of some sort. In fact, there are likely temp agencies and job placement centers in your town for professionals that want to change careers. If you want out of the call center industry, that is. Tax: I've done a lot of really stupid poo poo, but keeping with my other Africa thread. While living in rural West Africa I returned from a bike ride and drank unfiltered pump water during wet season (rain washes everything into the underground wells) and got Giardia. I made my stomach swell up with gas so it felt like a watermelon, and I had sulfurous burps. Also I poo poo hot yellow liquid out of my rear end at high velocity about 25 times a day for a couple days. Don't drink from unapproved sources. Ouch. Poohs Packin fucked around with this message at 07:54 on May 26, 2020 |
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May 26, 2020 07:50
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When I was in 5th grade, I wanted a reason to get out of going to school, so I went down to the lake and found a huge patch of poison ivy. I rubbed it all over my arms, legs, face. Then I realized I'd have to have an excuse for why it got everywhere, so I came up with the story of "I was peeing, and didn't realize it was poison ivy." To better sell the story to my mom, I rubbed it on my junk. I did get out of school for a few days. I could've just said I walked through it or tripped or something, but that would be only slightly dumber.
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May 26, 2020 09:01
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I blind drunk skate boarded 65 km on a highway and permanently did damage to my knees
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May 26, 2020 09:50
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At the grand old age of 26 I had managed to accrue 'expenses' of around $100k in a year whilst on a salary of less than half that, which triggered and investigation into my 'expenses' by the company. Said expenses included travel sustenance, which comprised buying bottles of vodka and whiskey after a day of travelling, then there was client entertainment, which included a $1000 lunch with colleagues and a $1200 after hours piss up for a colleague who was returning to the Seattle head office and literally gently caress knows how much in fuel receipts when I was living in the notoriously car-friendly place known as central London. My ingenious defence when asked to have a sit down with the auditors was "well the boss signed it all off," knowing full well that my boss had given me his password for the expenses system because he couldn't be bothered approving people's expenses. I then, in a real brain genius move proceeded to spend three grand on a solicitor who presumably spent his billable hours laughing his rear end off at me and came back with the career-saving move to quit before I was fired. I still have the $1000 DSLR camera I put through as an business expense, so there's that I guess?
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May 26, 2020 10:28
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i joined the military
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May 26, 2020 11:20
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I rode a bicycle I bought at walmart down these steps
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May 26, 2020 11:59
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LabyaMynora posted:What? No. I don't think that's a thing in America. LOL? This is very much a thing in the US. Kirk Vikernes fucked around with this message at 14:37 on May 26, 2020 |
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May 26, 2020 14:35
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Jestery posted:I blind drunk skate boarded 65 km on a highway and permanently did damage to my knees Kinda reminds me of how Neil Cassidy died. Assuming you mean you went that distance, and not that you were going that fast, and wiped out.
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May 26, 2020 15:07
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Let's see, 18 years thinking with my dick sums it up nicely for me.
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May 26, 2020 16:30
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Literally A Person posted:Let's see, 18 years thinking with my dick sums it up nicely for me. what happened to your dick?
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May 26, 2020 16:33
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Statutory Ape posted:what happened to your dick? It started making better decisions and now me and him are like besties.
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May 26, 2020 16:36
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I didn't check my wallet thoroughly enough for a two year old dime bag lined with cocaine residue before entering the UAE. Or leaving it. I honestly still get nervous sweats thinking about it.
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May 26, 2020 16:40
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I have/had the absolute worst White Knight complex leading me to date some folks I should never have. It has generally not been worth all the drama and I hope I'm finally done.
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May 26, 2020 16:41
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LethalGeek posted:I have/had the absolute worst White Knight complex leading me to date some folks I should never have. It has generally not been worth all the drama and I hope I'm finally done. i have vowed to be the more broken & high maintenance one
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May 26, 2020 16:45
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I had children
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May 26, 2020 16:53
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I worked at a job for almost 4 years that made me so stressed out that I threw up almost every day, had trouble sleeping, etc. I thought the pay was worth it (it wasn't) but I ended up developing acid reflux and high blood pressure during that time. It was 2009 so the economy was still hosed and I was terrified of going to another job that paid less and hating it just as much. I finally got laid off and found another job like 3 months later. My high blood pressure went away as did my acid reflux. I can't imagine how much damage that job did to my physical and mental health. I was working long days, working weekends, working at home, working on vacation, etc. A complete nightmare but I was fresh out of college and making $57k a year so I thought this was what life was like for everyone.
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May 26, 2020 16:56
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Statutory Ape posted:lol i used to think "japanese people" were retarded assholes for wearing masks all the time hey genesplicer, since you prefer just probating instead of talking (boomer lol) yeah this is the stupidest thing youve ever done thread and i was posting in that context. sorry that hurt your feeling
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May 26, 2020 16:59
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Statutory Ape posted:hey genesplicer, since you prefer just probating instead of talking You were probed for the slur, dumbass.
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May 26, 2020 17:55
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Ape Has Killed Ape posted:You were probed for the slur, dumbass. yea i understand that ive voiced my opinion on this sufficiently elsewhere already, beyond that
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May 26, 2020 18:12
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Sir Not Appearing posted:LOL? This is very much a thing in the US. Oh yes, I remember visiting the job center just before I graduated. She no poo poo walked me through how to search for jobs on craigslist. I assume other colleges are more competent.
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May 26, 2020 18:31
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Statutory Ape posted:yea i understand that look at the username of who you are responding to; tread carefully;
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May 26, 2020 18:32
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* Lost a full ride scholarship after two years because I was smart enough to coast through high school but never learned how to loving study. My grad school GPA was nearly a point higher than my undergrad.  * Had intermittent, bizarre pain in my left foot I ignored for a period of roughly 17 years until I went to an orthopedist, who declared that I was the star of the prior Friday's radiology panel after seeing my MRI scans. Turns out my foot was riddled with schwannomas, a rare but benign form of nerve sheath tumor. Whenever the tumors were compressed or feeling contrary, ZAP - magical electrical nerve damage-style pain! Two surgeries and three tumors removed later - the smallest of which was a centimeter long - my foot's a lot better, even if I bitch about my scars after stretching or a weather change sometimes. Not the only mistakes I've made, but they're definitely the ones I'm comfortable sharing. Hasturtium fucked around with this message at 18:37 on May 26, 2020 |
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May 26, 2020 18:34
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ugh I hate being the radiology star
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May 26, 2020 18:39
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Theophany posted:At the grand old age of 26 I had managed to accrue 'expenses' of around $100k in a year whilst on a salary of less than half that, which triggered and investigation into my 'expenses' by the company. Said expenses included travel sustenance, which comprised buying bottles of vodka and whiskey after a day of travelling, then there was client entertainment, which included a $1000 lunch with colleagues and a $1200 after hours piss up for a colleague who was returning to the Seattle head office and literally gently caress knows how much in fuel receipts when I was living in the notoriously car-friendly place known as central London. jesus christ you're a real piece of poo poo huh?
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May 26, 2020 18:47
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Theophany posted:At the grand old age of 26 I had managed to accrue 'expenses' of around $100k in a year whilst on a salary of less than half that, which triggered and investigation into my 'expenses' by the company. Said expenses included travel sustenance, which comprised buying bottles of vodka and whiskey after a day of travelling, then there was client entertainment, which included a $1000 lunch with colleagues and a $1200 after hours piss up for a colleague who was returning to the Seattle head office and literally gently caress knows how much in fuel receipts when I was living in the notoriously car-friendly place known as central London. i like this
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May 26, 2020 18:52
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Theophany posted:At the grand old age of 26 I had managed to accrue 'expenses' of around $100k in a year whilst on a salary of less than half that, which triggered and investigation into my 'expenses' by the company. Said expenses included travel sustenance, which comprised buying bottles of vodka and whiskey after a day of travelling, then there was client entertainment, which included a $1000 lunch with colleagues and a $1200 after hours piss up for a colleague who was returning to the Seattle head office and literally gently caress knows how much in fuel receipts when I was living in the notoriously car-friendly place known as central London. This kind of dumbassery is almost heroic. What happened to your boss for giving you that unearned, regrettable carte blanche?
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May 26, 2020 18:58
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When I was in 2nd grade I thought it'd be funny to ask some girls at recess if they wanted to see my nuts. My nuts ofcourse being a bag of mixed nuts my mom so generously packed me for lunch. Ofcourse all the boys thought this was the pinnacle of comedy, and I've always been a little susceptible to peer pressure. Ok now that I'm thinking about this incident it explains a lot about my deformed brain. So I'm going around being a goober, but I'm scared, what if I say my balls? What in God's name happens if I slip up and ask someone if they want to see my balls? Jesus and God, the power. So naturally it happens and i just lock up. Sweaty and red faced i just kind of run off, imagining what sex predator jails going to be like. Very scary. I ended up getting a detention after I got ratted out.
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May 26, 2020 18:58
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remigious posted:Oh yes, I remember visiting the job center just before I graduated. She no poo poo walked me through how to search for jobs on craigslist. I assume other colleges are more competent. JFC, our high school is more competent than that. We have plenty kids walking off the stage with their diploma and walking into jobs making up to 1.5x what I make teaching. I don't even know what kind of stupid poo poo I would have done making $70k at 18. Now, those are mostly jobs most goons would look down upon (CNC, welding, construction, industrial robotics), but they place kids every year and many of them end up with college paid for by their employers. Quite a few colleges around here advertise their job placement rate and one that I teach dual credit classes for is really good at it. Something like 94% last time I looked. Sorry for you are loss.
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May 26, 2020 19:46
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Statutory ape’s probe reminded me of this story. Definitely not the stupidest thing I’ve ever done but the drug stuff is just depressing/not interesting. My old boss, whose kid was autistic (he was open about this), was complaining about how someone we worked with had “r-bombed” him. Thinking that the r-bomb is just like the n-bomb and trying to be empathetic, I said something like “wow that’s especially messed up to say to you given the situation with your son”, which in hindsight would’ve been bad to say either way. He was extremely confused and he explained that R-bombing just means leaving someone’s message on “read” without responding. I think he was pretty gracious about it and he never mentioned it again but I still think about it sometimes when I’m trying to fall asleep.
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May 26, 2020 21:01
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Lol R bomb
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May 26, 2020 21:57
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The real offensive R-bomb in the work place is requesting read receipts.
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May 26, 2020 22:07
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Hmmm... In ascending order Street raced a volvo S80 wagon (fast car that looks like grocery getter) in my clapped out 67' mercury cougar. Cop was 2 cars back, pulls me over right in front of the Boise courthouse and I get a wreckless driving Worked at a jiffy lube. My manager was in front of a car, I quickly hop in to fire it up and get oil pressure, with both my feet hanging out the door. Car is a manual, in gear with no neutral start switch. Car lurches forward, hits boss, hits garage door busting out all the windows. Amazingly I was not fired Sold my perfectly working pickup to get an 83' toyota landcruiser just as they were appreciating in value. Own it for 2 whole days before leaving it out of gear in front of my house. I walk out my front door to see it rolling away from me. Rolls across the street and hits a tree in the front yard of a house kitty-cornee to me, loving up the whole rear end a caving in the roof. Actually super thankful for the tree otherwise it would have hit their house. Last one, getting a great career job, climb the ranks earn great money. Eat a bad meal, get real sick Friday and I call in. Smoke some weed for the nausea. Drug test monday! Fml got fired. Pretty bad luck with vehicles really
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May 26, 2020 22:46
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I'm not sure how much luck was involved...
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May 26, 2020 22:50
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I'm not sure how much luck was involved... All of my problems are usually not my fault
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May 26, 2020 22:51
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Willfrey posted:All of my problems are usually not my fault lol wrong
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May 26, 2020 22:54
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Nuts and Gum posted:jesus christ you're a real piece of poo poo huh? I mean, I'm not proud of it. It's like the most tragic wannabe Wolf of Wall Street poo poo that every movie producer would turn down for being too middle class, I guess. Hasturtium posted:This kind of dumbassery is almost heroic. What happened to your boss for giving you that unearned, regrettable carte blanche? He ended up a year or so later getting stung for loving his girlfriend, who happened to be a receptionist for the company, in the kitchen where they were serving up food for clients. There was also another guy who managed to rack up something like $200k in a year because he kept claiming for the same $600 first class train ticket over and over to cover for the insane cash withdrawals he was making at ATMs because hookers don't take cards and don't give tax invoices. His wife would've otherwise questioned these ATM withdrawals at like 2am. In fact it was him getting investigated and summarily fired that put our entire team's spending habits under the microscope lol. e: I swear I could write an entire thread of what a loving moron I was at that company whilst simulatenously thinking I was all of Ocean's 11 wrapped up in a single brain. Theophany fucked around with this message at 23:13 on May 26, 2020 |
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May 26, 2020 23:08
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