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How many gourmet cookies did Lowtax purchase at Goldbelly?
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Jun 24, 2020 03:26
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 00:21 |
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Lowtax release the recordings 
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Jun 24, 2020 04:04
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I want to slam and then flatten a can of creamed corn on top of Lowtax's head, then grab his ears and violently gently caress Lowtax's face while screaming as my Alien throatjaws attack and violate him like coring an apple before finally ejaculating straight down his throathole feeling like he swallowed a train of hot oysters...a little bit of saliva trickles down the corner of his wrinkly lips like he received a botched lobotomy.
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Jun 24, 2020 14:13
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Its really amazing how the actions of Lowtax are so freaking far beyond the pale that its actually impossible for a bystander to believe. Proposal: I am going to get married a third time, make my third spouse an SA admin and front page director, and there definitely will be no abuse, which were all lies before from my previous two spouses. Reality: A man falls through the earth and into a Willy Wonka-style oversized wonderland of pills and narcotics. Taking a neon strobe from the wall he spies row upon row of lawsuits and fines. Grasping the nearest by the corners, he shakes it madly, yelling "LESSON #1: NEVER GET ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH A CRAZY WOMAN."
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Jun 24, 2020 14:21
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Jun 24, 2020 14:29
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IN THIS CORNER: Rude, crude and full of 'tude, weighing 16 tons and owin' nothin' to the company store, gents, clear an orderly queue through the forums for the sassiest, brassiest, pill-poppin' and boxing-losing funster to front since Oscar Wilde. He's got more missing discs and back bends than the White Cliffs of Dover. Mad - or just sad; only his spouses know for sure. Holler it up, Something Awful, cause there ain't nothin' spineless 'bout your champion.....RICH "LOWTAX" KYANKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Jun 24, 2020 14:38
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"I never did abuse before" - 6 weeks after hollering and wailing in a barn and screaming as I tripped balls and thought some of the tobacco hung up to dry was an Alligator. When I felt braver I kept yelling "Go bulldogs!" at it instead and fought it with my fists, except the Alligator was my spouse
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Jun 24, 2020 14:49
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Musluk posted:
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Jun 24, 2020 14:56
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Jun 24, 2020 14:56
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Also apparently according to the QCS sister thread Lowtax is also literally a tax dodger, hence a half a million tax bill on his shoulders. I know this was probably mentioned earlier in the thread but does anybody have any more details on this, because it just seems like the exact poo poo cherry on top of the diarrhea sundae
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Jun 24, 2020 15:02
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"I am not an abuser and I always pay taxes" Lowtax says as a cascading stream of frothy piss runs down his uncontrollably shaking baby deer legs turning and twisting down as crooked as his spinal cord
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Jun 24, 2020 15:05
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One of those bitcoin charts/gifs showing swan diving crashes but it's lowtax's patreon instead
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Jun 24, 2020 15:27
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The three little pigs but the wolf is Lowtax huffing and puffing and blowing down the first two houses symbolizing accusations of real life domestic abuse but then his lungs crumple up like a piece of tinfoil or a shriveling cherry tomato at the third one as he watches his patreon tick downward
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Jun 24, 2020 15:29
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space uncle posted:Imagine having a machine that prints money in your closet for 20 years. All you had to do was throw up some late 90's early 00's monkey cheese edge lord text into an html file, and then you can coast for decades. All you have to do is leave some semi-competent person in charge and then leave it alone, and you can even reduce labor costs by recruiting a crop of unpaid volunteers. lol
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Jun 24, 2020 15:34
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Wario crashing his helicopter in the Vietnam War and dying but it's Lowtax howling and wailing like a real big bitch as he does a livetreamed sysematic ban spree of the entire forums
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Jun 24, 2020 15:40
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Tungsten posted:yeah i'm beginning to realize that our entire civilization is an abuse ponzi scheme Is Lowtax (like) bitcoin? Discuss.
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Jun 24, 2020 15:41
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Kiel posted:posting in a legendary dumpster fire
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Jun 24, 2020 15:44
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Groverhaus but it's Lowtax's ownership of the forums
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Jun 24, 2020 15:50
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barbecue at the folks posted:I've spent the entire day just F5'ing this thread and drinking because it's my summer holiday and I'll spend it however I drat well please, lol  but not with the drinking but that may change very soon
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Jun 24, 2020 15:51
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Bronze Fonz posted:It's quite telling that everyone's reaction last night was "Lowtax is gonna ban everyone when he sees this!" like some abusive dad will come home and beat the poo poo out of the kids for the mess they've made or something... there was this aura on here of don't loving dare speak ill of the Dick because he's gonna punch your account into oblivion. What if lowtax never comes back to the forums or sees this 
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Jun 24, 2020 15:59
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i vomit kittens posted:btw if you have a patreon account you can report Lowtax's patreon for "Something they've done outside of Patreon > This creator is harmful > This creator is bullying or harassing" Quoting this also just posting  If you are currently subscribing to Lowtax's patreon, pull out your subscription IMMEDIATELY
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Jun 24, 2020 16:09
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Jun 24, 2020 16:41
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SA's vintage joke about a .45 and a shovel, but Lowtax instead nods too sagely and inspired at it...
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Jun 24, 2020 16:55
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The 3 stooges rom pit review by lowtax where he talks about Larry busting out his .38 special and busting a cap but instead of I Fleecem's skull its his patreon
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Jun 24, 2020 17:12
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cum calamity posted:lowtax is all the guys he ever made fun of combined Lol.
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Jun 24, 2020 17:14
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The coupons admin swinging the scythe in C-SPAM about a nazi mod being outed but it's Lowtax and it's every forum
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Jun 24, 2020 17:16
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I'm going to give Lowtax a motherfucking swirlie after he sucks the poo poo straight out of my rear end in a top hat!!!!!
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Jun 24, 2020 17:19
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Jun 24, 2020 17:28
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Let's all go to Lowtax's house and use him as a human urinal
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Jun 24, 2020 18:01
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I slide into the room like kramer, only to find Lowtax sitting there, looking at his patreon. He turns around and screeches "How could you have found me, EorayMel??? After all I have done!" as I sigh and silently draw my BUDK Hibben HellFyre Highlander Bowie Knife With Sheath - HellFyre Damascus Steel, Wire-Wrapped Handle, Black Metal Pommel And Guard - Length 13 1/2”,
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Jun 24, 2020 18:08
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Lowtax’s fatass sits down into the computer chair once more, its temporary break of not having to continually support hundreds of grotesque goon flesh and bone upon the feeble construction already cut short. Part of the chair creaks and microscopic pieces flake off as Lowtax wolfs down another bag of Cheetos, adding yet another layer of curdling cheese filth to the keyboard. As parts of badly chewed Cheetohs sloppily runs down the corner of Lowtax 's basking shark-like mouth, Lowtax grins with a maze of crooked teeth in one of the very few "Eureka!" moments Lowtax will ever know. "Nyer hyer hyer harr! I know exathly what thread sumfing offal will enjoy!" Lowtax cackles to the delight of nobody. Thick, beet-like fingers hammer away at a keyboard long past the damages that have voided its warranty, in fact the third one the Lowtax abused this year. Lowtax goes to the first clickbait new site that pops up with a hasty Google search, genius laughter turning into gurgling cheesy at Lowtax 's own posting prowess heaves as the mouse highlights the URL to copy and paste into the thread. About how he TOTALLY didn’t abuse his wives, and how they are ABSOLUTELY all liars regarding his character. "Now itth all thet! GBth, here I come!" Lowtax bellows as a psuedo-amputated finger slams the "post" button. Lowtax waits in front of the computer screen, the only source of light in the pitch black room that can easily double as a CIA interrogation site. The first reply streams in to the Lowtax 's delight...only to find it a berating response to the thread just made. "No mattuh," Lowtax thinks mid ventilating gasp as the last contents of a three-day old Mountain Dew bottle laced with backwash is mercifully put down the slimy throat and slam dunks into an overflowing garbage bin. Lowtax stares and madly refreshes, too entranced to be discouraged. "Thurely, thith thread will go down in history!" Lowtax thinks. But every time Lowtax refreshes the thread, a new post emerges, sparking momentary hope. But that hope is swiftly smothered, much like Lowtax s ungodly rolls of fat that could easily smuggle every printed post made by the account, upon seeing what every post really is. Flames. Insults. Humiliation. They only pile on more and more like locusts descending upon an flaxen wheat field, the metaphorical fruit of Lowtax 's labor upon conceiving such a perfect thread, or so Lowtax thought. By the twentieth post calling for the thread's death by gas chamber, Lowtax 's face wrinkled face is ruby red in steaming rage, like a red dwarf cluster located on Lowtax’s face, frothing at rage at the other goons for not accepting the message, not embracing the slamdunk ultimatum it was envisioned as. Instead, the Lowtax became the subject of such precise ownage. "No...No..." Lowtax chants under bated breath like the one scratch-off ticket that would've earned an extra fifty dollars was thrown out. The wrinkles on Lowtax 's rage reddened face make the Lowtax more closely resemble a shriveled cherry tomato despite Lowtax 's mammoth build that is identical to the nearby closet of dirty diapers worn and used to maximize more World of Warcraft grinding. "How could thith happen?" I...I...can't..." Lowtax once again remorses, the tears leaking from the fat rolls practically making blinding Lowtax turning into steam and coming out of Lowtax 's ears like a vintage cartoon character. Soft sobs echo throughout the room as Lowtax cannot help but continue watching the replies go up in the thread as the Patreon continues to falls, hoping these vicious blows fall elsewhere but the precious Patreon… 
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Jun 24, 2020 18:19
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Everyone on SA versus lowtax rn
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Jun 24, 2020 18:30
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whats the actual context on this this owns
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Jun 24, 2020 18:31
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Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks: As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians – I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks. — Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV The Cossacks' reply came as a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes: Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan! O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, gently caress thy mother. Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother! So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse! — Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host 
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Jun 24, 2020 18:35
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ImpAtom posted:It is pretty amazing it has been... a little under three months since the "fake attempted coup" April Fools joke to a literal actual coup. And with his third abused wife. Coincidence?? No lol.
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Jun 24, 2020 18:38
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Main › General Bullshit (2552 users browsing)
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Jun 24, 2020 18:40
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large hands posted:That guy was Epic This good post you made isn't the same without your old avatar
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Jun 24, 2020 18:43
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ArfJason posted:id rather have my balls crushed by large zirconiums than being in direct live contact with hundreds of d&d goons so ill pass
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Jun 24, 2020 18:49
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large hands posted:I don't actually remember what my avatar was, or making that post lol It was that bearded dude smiling in a bathroom and you could see the top row of his teeth, it was a very good av IMO
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Jun 24, 2020 18:50
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 00:21 |
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large hands posted:Oh poo poo the one Dare got me. Looks like Dare gets the last laugh Wait really 
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Jun 24, 2020 18:53
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