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My daughter is one month old. As a responsible dad, I’m thinking it’s time to set up some long con pranks for when she is a teenager and horribly embarrassed by everything I do. To start with, I was going to make a video of myself giving the birds and the bees talk to her baby self. When the time comes for this awkward discussion, I can claim that we’ve already talked about it. A little more setup, asking her is she remembers, etc, and then I bring out the video. Before this forum becomes more dead and gay, give me more ideas for things to set up to make a teenager cringe years later.
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Jun 25, 2020 06:51
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:24 |
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Hide your face behind your hands and she'll think you're dead
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Jun 25, 2020 06:57
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flashbang in the crib
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Jun 25, 2020 07:02
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bringing a child into this world seems like an epic prank already op
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Jun 25, 2020 07:03
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Dab on the baby and then take photos videos of everything they do. Babies own themselves constantly. Got a folder full of the embarrassing stuff, face markers, babies first dump, videos of them failing to use tools. Good poo poo. Seriously, photos and videos every day. poo poo goes fast, more so no when you aint gonna be sleeping for the next year and a half
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Jun 25, 2020 07:04
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Tell her you were a mod on the Something Awful comedy forums in the year 2020.
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Jun 25, 2020 07:08
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put it back int the womb and say oops
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Jun 25, 2020 07:11
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Leave them in the woods with a minimal bug out kit and when they get home ground them for taking too long.
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Jun 25, 2020 07:17
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Put $1.00 into a joint savings account and tell her the interest will grow so much that it can pay for her college then give her the cashier's check for $1.08. Fuckin owned.
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Jun 25, 2020 07:18
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Show the baby Goodnight Mommy
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Jun 25, 2020 07:21
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Teach them to pronounce Banana "Bah-Nah-Nah"
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Jun 25, 2020 07:22
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Have 3 more babies and tattoo their foreheads "1" "2" AND "4".
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Jun 25, 2020 07:29
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fuckin fart in your kids face
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Jun 25, 2020 07:35
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the well established and frankly loving sick prank of peek a boo
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Jun 25, 2020 07:37
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Place the child in a food pantry.
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Jun 25, 2020 07:38
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Some object permeance pranks would be fun and easy. One idea is sit her on one side of the door and position yourself on the other. Get her attention then quickly close the door, step out of the threshold, and then open it back whilst standing off to the side. To her it will appear that you have vanished. For an even more dramatic effect, try never returning, or returning many years later as a much different man with a new family
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Jun 25, 2020 07:42
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Find a pack of wolves. Leave the baby with the wolves. Come back 18 years later. Pwnd!
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Jun 25, 2020 07:42
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Get your baby addicted to nicotine and then take her smokes away 
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Jun 25, 2020 07:54
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Get her a tramp stamp
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Jun 25, 2020 08:25
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draw dark eyebrows on her put a stupid baby note on her back
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Jun 25, 2020 08:27
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You brought a child into the world in 2020. The biggest possible joke has already been played on them.
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Jun 25, 2020 08:29
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goatse them wait no dont do that
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Jun 25, 2020 08:29
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Jun 25, 2020 08:33
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Give her a dumb name like Arthur Robinson
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Jun 25, 2020 08:38
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Commit to only speaking in pig latin around the baby. This will ensure your kid will learn to talk, in pig latin. Now you are gonna have to make your own versions of popular YouTube videos dubbed in pig latin and I guess rope in your relatives.
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Jun 25, 2020 08:38
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buy the baby some job interview clothes, transfer all your bank accounts assets and possessions into their name, make a video detailing how the child wasn't able to provide and its their fault and then die of starvation.
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Jun 25, 2020 08:39
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buy her a very small lizard for a pet that will stare emotionlessly at nothing and probabyl die
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Jun 25, 2020 09:31
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Poop in their diapers
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Jun 25, 2020 09:34
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set up a trust to which she will gain access on her 18th birthday. when she does she will discover that all it contains is your sa account creds
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Jun 25, 2020 10:36
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Buy her an SA account.
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Jun 25, 2020 10:46
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posting to get a pic o' my avatar.
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Jun 25, 2020 10:48
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:Teach them to pronounce Banana "Bah-Nah-Nah" My mom legit did this to me with "pancakes" and I still catch myself instinctively saying "pan-uh-cakes" sometimes. I asked her later why she did and she said she thought it would be funny.
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Jun 25, 2020 15:12
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:Buy her an SA account. Buy her plat
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Jun 25, 2020 15:16
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Convince her that you're the father.
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Jun 25, 2020 15:28
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Conservative upbringing
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Jun 25, 2020 15:53
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Instead of mommy just slip her you own nipple.LargeHadron posted:My mom legit did this to me with "pancakes" and I still catch myself instinctively saying "pan-uh-cakes" sometimes. I asked her later why she did and she said she thought it would be funny. It kind is... not as good as bektast, pissgetti or padadoes, but not bad either.
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Jun 25, 2020 16:16
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Until babies develop object permanence they believe that people and objects that leave their vision disappear forever. Epicly prank that baby by leaving her field of view and never, ever returning.
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Jun 25, 2020 16:19
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Buy her a phone and save your number under the contact name, "Birth giver."
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Jun 25, 2020 16:45
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as she grows up keep telling her that she comes from a great and mystical lineage and her true purpose in life - powerful and transformative - will be revealed to her when she reaches adulthood then pretend to forget all about it
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Jun 25, 2020 16:56
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:24 |
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Go out for cigarrettes and milk and come back.
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Jun 25, 2020 17:02
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