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TheDiceMustRoll
Jul 23, 2018


So I didn't start watching wrestling until 2019, the end of it, and I had a lot of really weird perceptions, so I wanted to share them and see what you guys thought wrestling was, based entirely off cultural osmosis.

- My 4th grade teacher told us that the Rock only became a popular wrestler because he invented the "stomping while you do a move" thing
- Since it's all fake, nobody ever injures themselves
- Wrestlers would never break character under any circumstance, even in a court of law
- (This is gonna be a common one) Wrestling was obviously fake to anyone who wasn't a complete and utter smoothbrain and only dumbdumbs liked it or thought it was good.
- For some reason I thought Vince McMahon actually died in 2007 and didn't find out it was a work until 2016 when I noticed him on a friend's stream of RAW and asked if it was a rerun
- For some reason I thought it was waaaay more fantastical than it actually is, with the Undertaker casting literal spells in every match, people summoning demons, flying (with wires) like a hong kong kung fu film, etc.
- When stone cold stunner'd austin and got arrested in 1997(?) our school banned wrestling talk because it was taken to be a real thing, one kid got sent home for wearing an austin 3:16 shirt and we had a school meeting about how wrestling was full of "criminals". Our principal was very very serious about this.


What did you think wrestling was, before you watched wrestling? Was there ever a point you thought it was real?

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Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



because i can't remember anything from before i watched wrestling, i would still like to participate and say that in the 2nd and 3rd grade i kept on hearing from these two other kids that shawn michaels and big daddy cool were boyfriends to eachother. i knew back then that it wasn't bad or wrong to be two boyfriends, but those kids didn't seem to know that and i was very weak and pathetic so i would just make little laughs like they did about it, but without saying anything either. stupid little-rear end kid. i wish they had been boyfriends

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

I was convinced that chairs were fake movie props or had a sound effect added in because, c'mon, how could they be dumb enough to use actual steel chairs and swing them as hard as possible?

Then I found out how dumb wrestlers really are.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


My sister once smugly explained to me that the wrestlers hold little soft padded bags in their hands and that is what they hit their opponents with.

Macksy
Oct 20, 2008


TheDiceMustRoll posted:


- For some reason I thought it was waaaay more fantastical than it actually is, with the Undertaker casting literal spells in every match, people summoning demons, flying (with wires) like a hong kong kung fu film, etc.

I watched the boneyard and funhouse wrestlemania matches and there is no "myth" in this statement.

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003



i've watched wrestling for as long as i've known what it is but i still believed the "Since it's all fake, nobody ever injures themselves" part when i was a little kid.

Reality Protester
Aug 10, 2016


she tried to warn us



I thought that when wrestlers were in holds and slapping themselves* they were signalling the other guy what moves to do, like a baseball catcher

* kind of an early 90s thing, not so much any more

Reality Protester fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Jul 3, 2020

Paper Lion
Dec 13, 2009






i remember very cruel rumours that chyna was a man, which were very commonplace. someone at school once told me that his dad had one of goldbergs testicles in a jar at his house. but his dad owned the local bakery so i just went and asked him.

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010



Fun Shoe

I have a friend who started watching wrestling long before I did, and by way of incessant hypemanship he managed to convince me that Triple H was good.

extradite THIS!
Mar 8, 2010






TheDiceMustRoll posted:

how wrestling was full of "criminals".

They were right

Origin
Feb 15, 2006



Not so much a myth, but living just north of Nashua, NH, people would refer to Triple H as "Pauly Levesque." And of course we kids would say, no, Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates!

I started one of these! I was trying to get my neighborhood friends to watch WWF with me and I convinced them that my next door neighbor was the Blue Blazer. My next door neighbor was a 60 year old gaunt man and not, in fact, the Blue Blazer.

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!



The ketchup bottle for blood was one that went around the playground in my youth.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Grem posted:

I started one of these! I was trying to get my neighborhood friends to watch WWF with me and I convinced them that my next door neighbor was the Blue Blazer.



Grem posted:

My next door neighbor was a 60 year old gaunt man and not, in fact, the Blue Blazer.

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



Grem posted:

I started one of these! I was trying to get my neighborhood friends to watch WWF with me and I convinced them that my next door neighbor was the Blue Blazer. My next door neighbor was a 60 year old gaunt man and not, in fact, the Blue Blazer.

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON

well done

Sandman McMahon
Sep 6, 2011



Vince McMahon was a fictional character played by some weird actor.

Origin
Feb 15, 2006



Sandman McMahon posted:

Vince McMahon was a fictional character played by some weird actor.

🤔

BodyMassageMachine
Nov 24, 2006

EAT
SLEEP

CAAAAWWWWW
REPEAT


The Ultimate Warrior absolutely died and was replaced by a body-double/impersonator.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.



Warrior died when Undertaker locked him in the coffin, everything after that was another person

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



My boy erik once told me undertaker's real name is Walter Taker. I think Erik is dead now, rip

mexican willie
Mar 17, 2007



Paper Lion posted:

i remember very cruel rumours that chyna was a man, which were very commonplace. someone at school once told me that his dad had one of goldbergs testicles in a jar at his house. but his dad owned the local bakery so i just went and asked him.

did he let you see the testicle?

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!


BodyMassageMachine posted:

The Ultimate Warrior absolutely died and was replaced by a body-double/impersonator.
My list includes
-Doink was just 1 wrestler
- All of those big names from when I was a kid like Sting or Undertaker who had completely different gimmicks in the 80's and early 90's were different wrestlers playing the same 'character' in later gimmicks in the 2000's. After all, no one would be putting their bodies through that kinda punishment for decades
-The Licensing Deal/Crossover between WWE and White Wolf with Gangrel was dumb and bad, it sullied my precious highbrow mature game to be associated with something as puerile as wrestling

Duke Pukem
Oct 23, 2010

Three cheers for dark beer!



BodyMassageMachine posted:

The Ultimate Warrior absolutely died and was replaced by a body-double/impersonator.

The version of this that I heard as a kid was that he died and was replaced by Kerry Von Erich

Mob
May 6, 2002

Me reading your posts



Unfortunately I have no "before wrestling" myths because I started watching around age 4 with a Killer Bees match in like '84-'85ish. Growing up, however, it was impossible to not hear New Ultimate Warrior myths.

Mob
May 6, 2002

Me reading your posts



Mob posted:

Unfortunately I have no "before wrestling" myths because I started watching around age 4 with a Killer Bees match in like '84-'85ish. Growing up, however, it was impossible to not hear New Ultimate Warrior myths.

Not gonna lie watching a snake bite Macho Man at 11AM on a Saturday is definitely not scarring poo poo for a 9-year-old, definitely

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009


Reality Protester posted:

I thought that when wrestlers were in holds and slapping themselves* they were signalling the other guy what moves to do, like a baseball catcher

* kind of an early 90s thing, not so much any more

In all fairness, this is not far off the mark because for a sleeper or chinlock, there could be spot-calling going on. And some guys might have short hand for stuff like 'two slaps means shoot me off the ropes, dropdown, leapfrog, clothesline'.

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010



Two words:

Blood Capsules.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

D U S T M A N


That's

a stunt granny

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer




A kid told me the Ultimate Warrior quit wrestling because he was sexually assaulted by the Macho Man.

He also told me that "sexual assault" was when you taped a knife to your wiener so that you could slash or stab people while you were already punching them.

Low Desert Punk
Jul 4, 2012

i have absolutely no fucking money


Defiance Industries posted:

He also told me that "sexual assault" was when you taped a knife to your wiener so that you could slash or stab people while you were already punching them.

well, I mean, that's not technically incorrect

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates!

WCW is worse than WWF

Eat My Fuc
May 29, 2007

Qu'ils mangent de la baise!


I was told the blood was ketchup, I found out that was bullshit when I was 10 and RVD nailed Spike Dudley with a horrendous chair shot right in front of me at an ECW house show and blood splattered all over my entire row.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

I thought the redtext someone dumped on you was in bad taste and a bit much so here's a corgi instead.

I think lots of us must've assumed "no way the blood is real because it would be absolutely deranged to take a razor blade to your own forehead just to make a fake fight feel more dramatic".

Eat My Fuc
May 29, 2007

Qu'ils mangent de la baise!


forkboy84 posted:

I think lots of us must've assumed "no way the blood is real because it would be absolutely deranged to take a razor blade to your own forehead just to make a fake fight feel more dramatic".

Totally also let it literally drip on fans and somehow in the litigious 90s no one sued.

extradite THIS!
Mar 8, 2010






Eat My Fuc posted:

I was told the blood was ketchup, I found out that was bullshit when I was 10 and RVD nailed Spike Dudley with a horrendous chair shot right in front of me at an ECW house show and blood splattered all over my entire row.

Jesus loving christ dude

I would’ve been scarred for life

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

I thought the redtext someone dumped on you was in bad taste and a bit much so here's a corgi instead.

extradite THIS! posted:

Jesus loving christ dude

I would’ve been scarred for life

It's the 90s, you'd probably think it was the coolest poo poo.

Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.




I remember someone (I think it was Sarah Shockey) talking about seeing Macho Man on Slim Jims ads before she got into wrestling, then eventually seeing Randy Savage matches and thinking it was a bit hokey that they let the Slim Jim mascot wrestle.

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



Lamuella posted:

I remember someone (I think it was Sarah Shockey) talking about seeing Macho Man on Slim Jims ads before she got into wrestling, then eventually seeing Randy Savage matches and thinking it was a bit hokey that they let the Slim Jim mascot wrestle.

Lmao

El Generico
Feb 3, 2009

All of them... all six billion... soon, I will have purchased all six billion paid mods.

I think at some point when I was a kid, I knew that wrestling was pre-determined, but thought that it was like how boxing matches are fixed, where the competitors really are wrestling for a while, and then one of the competitors takes a fall intentionally.

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Eat My Fuc
May 29, 2007

Qu'ils mangent de la baise!


forkboy84 posted:

It's the 90s, you'd probably think it was the coolest poo poo.

Yea I find it more horrible now but back then I was like “blood! cool!”

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