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Cubone posted:why do people think jesus was brown-skinned? just because he lived in the middle-east? Jesus was into stuff like crap and fart. There's a book written by Robert Heinlein where Jesus comes out of an egg and Mary laid the egg and it was made out of crap and when she laid the egg it made a fart and the experience imprinted onto Jesus. I remember studying Irish literature and there was a lot of stuff about how protestants loved eggs. Easter egg hunts are about finding the crap eggs Jesus was born in that's why the eggs are chocolate. In my dreams I see Jesus Christ and he floats towards me on top of a yellow cloud, his features are Asian and he always says something about Bohemia and nude guys who are wearing sneakers. Sometimes he looks at his feet and his toes are all bent up from playing soccer.
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Jul 8, 2020 00:59
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Blitter posted:Thanks for your profoundly stupid opinion (s). I think you may be stupid about this subject. There are texts going back two thousand years that prove that someone around that time was setting up gay book clubs in Rome centered around Marxism.
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Jul 8, 2020 01:06
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That's not accurate, you should be reported and probated for posting something like this that is wrong. I will report you now
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Jul 8, 2020 01:07
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Cubone posted:what? I think you may be stupid about this subject.
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Jul 8, 2020 01:09
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Cubone posted:disagree I dont know what to say about that. Maybe you have a point but I don't think most people will agree
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Jul 8, 2020 01:10
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nut posted:if both of the jesuses (jesi?) in the op did it they would give birth to Yanni i dunno which one would get preggers tho I don't know about that. Some people in New York believe Jesus was fried up on a griddle lengthwise. The whole crucifixion thing was just made up because people didn't want to think Jesus died laying down on a griddle instead of standing up. It would have been undignified. They removed the book of Enoch from the Bible for similar reasons because Enoch was wearing blue jeans in heaven and using cellphones.
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Jul 8, 2020 01:14
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BrigadierSensible posted:Jesus was not a Test Cricketer. As Nazareth did not have Test status at that time. Some people would agree but you'll find little support on here. A lot of people stupid about the subject. I heard his fingers were bent from the sport like a basketball player's.
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Jul 8, 2020 01:16
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R.L. Stine posted:the FBI has a 2,500 page dossier on Jesus, but you didn't hear it from me There's no support for that. The only US agency with comprehensive information on Jesus is the private company called the NFL, they've got foot pictures of Jesus dating back two thousand years. Some of the pictures there are oil on his feet, some are just water and other times his heels are really cracked. One picture has someone using a ped egg on his feet and eating the dried skin that looks like flour and had the texture of the inside of a Cadbury Creme Egg. When Jesus died an impression of his feet was left on a shroud. Some people argue his feet were more important than his words and it's hard to argue with that.
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Jul 8, 2020 01:21
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Jesus (12:45 AM) : I'm going to bust, I will bust, it's inevitable that I will bust, Judas? Judas (12:45 AM) : Is that true? Is it true? John (12:46 AM) : Mmmm.... Jesus (12:46 AM) : Yes, absolutely it is. Judas (12:46 AM) : Odd, very hard to believe, odd. John (12:46 AM) : Yes, odd, very odd indeed. (Pause) Jesus (12:47 AM) : Is it so odd, really? Thaddeus (12:47 AM) : It is quite odd. I think. Jesus (12:48 AM) : Mmm.... odd.... (Silence, Pause) Jesus (12:50 AM) : Is it quite so odd? To bust. Inevitably? Peter (12:51 AM) : I think it is quite odd for some people, but I can understand, it is not so terribly odd to me. Jesus (12:51 AM) : I would think so, that you wouldn't find it so odd. I would think that of you. Judas (12:52 AM) : But you would think of me that I would find it odd, surely that I would find it odd? Jesus (12:52 AM) : I'm not so sure, Judas. I would have thought before... not for sure, I would have thought you would have gone either way, but now... (Pause) Jesus (12:53 AM) : ...now... I certainly know for sure, now, that you would find it odd. I did not know before. Judas (12:54 AM) [Internal Thoughts] : He will surely pay for thinking that I would find it odd, any chance of it, before he knew for certain. I will make sure of it. Lil Swamp Booger Baby fucked around with this message at 05:46 on Jul 8, 2020 |
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Jul 8, 2020 05:44
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Rutibex posted:i don't know how many ancient "historical records" you have read but they are all fairly dubious. i'm pretty sure marcus aurelius isnt actually a wizard who can summon lightning You seem stupid on this subject
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Jul 8, 2020 16:16
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Rutibex posted:the gospals are as much a primary source as the historia augusta or the twelve caesars. its not like we have actual ancient roman tax records or census data around to be looked at It's just really silly that you would leave out important sources like the Paul Wall album "slab god." Jesus lived inside a toilet roll tube and only came out to turn things into fish which he multiplied. People lost their keys, their remotes, their homes. All fish. He was notorious in town. Dead fishing rotting everywhere and you never knew whose toilet roll he was in. People started to turn on each other, accusing one another of harboring Jesus in their toilet rolls and the whole mess got out of hand. A lot of people died over it, Jesus just went to a nail salon and got a mani-pedi as it all happened. You're probably all outraged by it was a neighborhood of bankers and tax men that he targeted. All these guys were into some serious stuff.
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Jul 8, 2020 16:28
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Big Beef City posted:I have some worrying news for you regarding how this conversation has panned out in the past. Trinity.... from the Matrix...
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Jul 8, 2020 16:39
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Big Beef City posted:Did u know that darth vader was also born from a virgin?? Anakin Skywalker? The guy was into some weird stuff. Some people said they saw him pouring sand into his anus and complaining about how rough it was.
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Jul 8, 2020 17:15
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Jesus.........
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Jul 9, 2020 19:16
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Docahedron posted:I agree, Jesus is pretty cool OP Jesus....... born in a manger...... raised in a cave...... dick and balls..... is all he crave......
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Jul 9, 2020 19:18
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