|
Promise to pledge your allegiance to Draven if he gives you a perfumed lock of his chest hair every day, or whenever you feel like it
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 18:49
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:45 |
|
|
> You tell Draven you will help him with his quest but in order to do so you must have the Book of Essence. "I'm listening," Draven says. "I can only help you with your quest if I have the book," you say. "Of course," Draven says. > You wink at Draven. Draven's eyes widen as he looks at you. "I'll help you get the book," he says. "I want to see your magic." > 
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 18:50
|
|
|
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 18:50
|
|
|
> You put on your robe and wizard hat. Draven raises an eyebrow. "Are you going to do tricks?" Draven asks. "No," you say. "What are you planning?" "I'm planning nothing. Are you ready?" "I am," Draven says, twirling his sword. "Let's do this," you say. You grab Draven by the hand, leading him outside. "Wait," he says. >
SniperWoreConverse fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Jul 19, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 18:51
|
|
|
SniperWoreConverse posted:> You put on your robe and wizard hat. > "You are going to wish you never betrayed me"
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 19:09
|
|
|
Off topic - it cracks me up that everytime someone gets idea to do this type of roleplay, 100% of the time it devolves into OP being forced to write gay fanfiction within the first five pages They probably had this whole plotline in their head and were offering subtle guidance and clues that everyone ignores and instead post "make the shirtless hunk suck off the space wizard"
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 19:46
|
|
|
>put on your face mask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 19:59
|
|
|
>Draven's pecs are glistening enough right now. Rub oil on them.
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:02
|
|
|
> 935 posted:make the shirtless hunk suck off the space wizard
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:08
|
|
|
i knew surely the j/o crystals would get charged no matter what character got picked > You put on your face mask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "What's that for?" Draven asks. "To keep the plague out of your lungs," you say. "Oh," Draven says, as he puts on his mask. Draven's pecs are glistening enough right now. You rub oil on them. "What's that for?" Draven asks. "So they glisten," you say. "Why are you doing that?" Draven asks. "You're very beautiful." "Stop," Draven says, as you massage oil into his chest. "Why are you massaging me?" Draven asks. "Because I can," you say, rubbing oil into his arms. "I'm getting a bit nervous," Draven admits. >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:09
|
|
|
> grab your crotch while loudly exclamining "Do you know why they call me the bull, Draven? Because when I hosed your cow of a wife she gave birth to a minotaur!"
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:11
|
|
|
>Suddenly an orc appears!
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:12
|
|
|
> You grab your crotch while loudly exclamining "Do you know why they call me the bull, Draven? Because when I hosed your cow of a wife she gave birth to a minotaur!" "That's my wife you're talking about," Draven says. "Your what?" you say. "My wife," Draven says. "Your wife?" you say. "You're married?" Draven looks down. Suddenly an orc appears! He has a large axe and wears leather armor. He swings his axe and smashes Draven in the back, sending him to the ground. "Get off of me!" Draven says. >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:16
|
|
|
I remove my robe and wizard hat.
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:20
|
|
|
> cast "transfer soul" on the orc and Draven
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:22
|
|
|
> You remove your robe and wizard hat. The orc looks at you, pauses, and then raises an eyebrow. "Do you want my hat?" you ask. "No," the orc says. > You cast transfer soul on the orc and Draven. You grab the orc's soul, and Draven grabs the orc's body. "Let's see how this goes," you say. You drop the orc's soul into Draven's body. "Dude, what just happened?" Draven says. The orc's soul appears in Draven's body. >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:24
|
|
|
Be gay, do crime
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:34
|
|
|
>Put blood clones into orc body for safekeeping
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:44
|
|
|
> You put your blood clones in the orc's body for safekeeping. You put your blood clones in the orc's body. Draven stands up, raising an eyebrow. "Alright," he says. "I feel a lot better now. > You be gay, do crime. You are now gay, doing crime. You wander the streets, looking for trouble. You bump into a fat merchant who is carrying a heavy pack. You steal it. "Hey!" the merchant says. >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:51
|
|
|
> Command the orc/blood clones to silence the merchant
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:53
|
|
|
> You command the orc/blood clones to silence the merchant. "Shut up, fatso," you say. The merchant continues to complain, and the orc continues to silence him. You begin to regret this. Suddenly, you feel a blade at your throat. >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:55
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:58
|
|
|
> say "I am beginning to regret this"
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 20:58
|
|
|
> eat the blade, just chomp into it like eating cookies
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 21:01
|
|
|
>Absorb the attacker into your flesh like a gelatinous cube
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 21:09
|
|
|
> You say "I am beginning to regret this" then eat the blade, just chomp into it like eating cookies. You take a deep breath as the orc blade is raised. "I am beginning to regret this," you say. The orc slashes open your throat, and you gurgle blood as you go down. THE END  Wizard Master Fartus de PheasantQuests (0/3): Find the Book of Essence Learn spells from the book. Help Draven the barbarian dominate the world. Items: a sword, two energy canisters, a wizard staff, hat, robes, and spellbook. a talking horse named Horsie Your mental resources had been Empowering Maximized. You had gained a level. You had increased your hand to hand combat and fire powers. You had a pact with Moloch Killed during a botched robbery -+-+-+-+-+- Select a character... 1) noble 2) knight 3) squire 5) ranger 6) peasant 7) rogue
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 21:10
|
|
|
Noooooo  It is time we go for a new adventure: 6
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 21:11
|
|
|
SniperWoreConverse posted:> You say "I am beginning to regret this" then eat the blade, just chomp into it like eating cookies. squire
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 21:12
|
|
|
6) Peasant
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 21:20
|
|
|
Enter your peasant's name...
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 22:20
|
|
|
SniperWoreConverse posted:Enter your peasant's name... Oliver Crisp Biscuit-Barrel
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 22:28
|
|
|
935 posted:Oliver Crisp Biscuit-Barrel
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 22:33
|
|
|
Peasanty McPeasantface
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 22:52
|
|
|
You are Oliver Crisp Biscuit-Barrel, a peasant living in a small village in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and nothing else. You dream of getting out of your village and having an adventure. You go to your fields and begin working. You look up and see a strange man in a dark cloak watching you. You know that you should run, but you can't seem to move. The man draw closer and begins to speak. "I see a lot of potential in you little friend. You could be a big help to me on my travels. I'm willing to give you a small gift to entice you to come with me." >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:09
|
|
|
>"Is the small gift a dick? Haha you have a small dick."
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:13
|
|
|
> Peep inside stranger's cloak. Say "I like what I see."
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:15
|
|
|
> You say "Is the small gift a dick? Haha you have a small dick." "No." "Is the small gift a cat? You have a small cat." "No." "Is the small gift a house? You have a small house." "No. > You peep inside stranger's cloak. You take off the stranger's cloak and gasp at what you see. The man is covered with hair, some of it is on his face, others hang from his ears, still others cover his arms and legs. > You say "I like what I see." "Are you propositioning me?" The man asks. "Well, I was, but as you've asked me to clarify whether or not I was, I shall tell you. Yes, I like what I see." >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:18
|
|
|
> stare blankly while twirling pitchfork in hands
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:21
|
|
|
> You stare blankly while twirling pitchfork in hands. "We shall travel together, you will help me on my travels and I will help you achieve your dream of getting out of this small village you call home." You stare blankly while twirling pitchfork in hands. "Well, are you going to answer me?" "No." >
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:45 |
|
|
>"Look I'm fine with whatever sex adventure stuff you wanna do but I gotta milk this cow first, come help me out."
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2020 23:37
|
|