im tired of fucking lying

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > im tired of fucking lying

Slumpy

cumming hurts all men. i said it. gently caress.

everytime a man cums, he experiences a white hot searing pain and im tired of pretending and not talking about it. we all experience it and we just pretend we enjoy loving and cumming when in reality its like stinking your firckin doink into a white hot nuetron star mass

# ? Aug 20, 2020 22:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:28

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

I can never tell this to my waifu, my whole life is a lie

# ? Aug 20, 2020 22:26

google THIS

This is why we have to acclimate to the pain two or three or six or fourteen times a day just so we can bear real sex. We do it for you, ladies. And gents too but they already know obv

# ? Aug 20, 2020 22:27

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

women think taht when i cum my screams are those of pleasure, b ut in fact they are screams of pain, masked as pleasure, as I feel the searing white hot pain o f cummming

# ? Aug 20, 2020 22:30

beer pal

I can WRESTLE A GATOR
I can RIDE MY HARLEY for 12 HOURS STRAIGHT
I can CUM THREE TIMES in ONE DAY
you do NOT want to mess with me

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Aug 20, 2020 22:38

google THIS

It's just not fair, men have to endure so much pain and discomfort to make a baby and all women have to do is carry it for nine months and go through labor and breastfeed. FEMALE PRIVILEGE

# ? Aug 20, 2020 23:09

Goons Are Gifts

"I didn't came..." my partner whispers in disappointment.
"Some people are just lucky", I think, out of breath and almost unconscious due to the pain.

# ? Aug 20, 2020 23:36

Prof. Crocodile

Goons Are Great posted:

"I didn't came..." my partner whispers in disappointment.
"Some people are just lucky", I think, out of breath and almost unconscious due to the pain.

# ? Aug 20, 2020 23:49

google THIS

I'm not really a sub I just find that being tied up and beaten helps distract me from the sex

# ? Aug 20, 2020 23:59

Escape From Noise

But what if I also get off on the pain?

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Aug 21, 2020 06:28

The_Rob: Blah blah blah blah!!

it�s the reason I�ve never came. I will never bust

# ? Aug 21, 2020 06:51

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

I stub my toe at a restaurant and everyone gives me a dirty look because they think I am cumming due to my screams of agony. I am not cumming.

When I am cumming, I call it "screaming and creaming" and you will know because my screams will be several decibels louder.

I am not cumming in the restaurant. I stubbed my toe. I came here to have a nice dinner with me, myself, and I, a nice dinner of spaghetti and balls. I do not need to cum here. I screamed because I was physically harmed.

It is a distinct scream from when I am "screaming and creaming."

I repeat I am not cumming at the two person table directly next to the bathroom.

# ? Aug 21, 2020 07:05

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I stub my toe at a restaurant and everyone gives me a dirty look because they think I am cumming due to my screams of agony. I am not cumming.

When I am cumming, I call it "screaming and creaming" and you will know because my screams will be several decibels louder.

I am not cumming in the restaurant. I stubbed my toe. I came here to have a nice dinner with me, myself, and I, a nice dinner of spaghetti and balls. I do not need to cum here. I screamed because I was physically harmed.

It is a distinct scream from when I am "screaming and creaming."

I repeat I am not cumming at the two person table directly next to the bathroom.

I won't have what he's having

# ? Aug 21, 2020 07:10

FakeBlood: Alive and kicking.

i dont want to lie to you but i love cumming

microsoft flight simulator

# ? Aug 21, 2020 08:42

Into The Mild

when a man has a butt orgasm.... does it hurt to cum?

# ? Aug 21, 2020 09:29

nut

nodding as my uncle expounds on the past horrors he has seen and suffered in �nam. I nod and understand because I have came

# ? Aug 21, 2020 12:39

google THIS

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

I won't have what he's having

# ? Aug 21, 2020 13:02

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

I'm cumming all over this quality Slumpy thread

_{Thanks to Heather Papps for sweet sig, click for more hot lady action}

_{sigs by luvcow and Khanstant.

Click on Spoonville for a neat surprise}

_{(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut}

# ? Aug 21, 2020 13:06

Slumpy

what it feels like to have a cum:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co6d3h-NpS8

slumpy

# ? Aug 21, 2020 14:42

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming. my wife turns to me and asks �whats wrong evil bob did you have another bad dreM?�

I lie to her and say �yes dear, just a bad dream�

# ? Aug 21, 2020 15:02

nut

I�m tired of loving (lying)

# ? Aug 21, 2020 15:15

more falafel please: forums poster

nut posted:

I�m tired of loving (lying)

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Aug 21, 2020 16:35

Khanstant

why do people think we tug on that thing so fast and hard? trying to squeeze the pain out

# ? Aug 21, 2020 16:44

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

Letting my wife use my scrotum as a speedbag to take my mind off of the immense pain of the orgasm I'm about to have

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Aug 21, 2020 17:08

Slumpy

oh, yeah, sure, poo poo on me, whatever, just dont make me cum

slumpy

# ? Aug 21, 2020 17:13

wearing a lampshade

im glad someone's said it: cummies are bad.

# ? Aug 21, 2020 17:37

wearing a lampshade

all my life i've always hated shooting huge thick ropey cums. the thought of busting a nut makes me die a little inside every time. i love the seattle grunge scene but i can't *stand* anything with eddie vedder in it. the pain and shame from all of my insanely massive orgasms has led me to have tons of confidence and friends, and i regret it every single time

# ? Aug 21, 2020 17:41

nut

albany academy posted:

all my life i've always hated shooting huge thick ropey cums. the thought of busting a nut makes me die a little inside every time. i love the seattle grunge scene but i can't *stand* anything with eddie vedder in it. the pain and shame from all of my insanely massive orgasms has led me to have tons of confidence and friends, and i regret it every single time

# ? Aug 21, 2020 17:43

Slumpy

bragging about your penis size is just a way of us guys/bros showing off how much pain we can withstand.

a bigger penis, after all, means more surface area for the painful radiation of cumming to emanate.

its a rite of passage passed down from olden times when holy men would flog themselves, now 'flogging the hog' might have some better context for you ladies. we're loving dyin' here.

slumpy

# ? Aug 21, 2020 18:04

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Into The Mild posted:

when a man has a butt orgasm.... does it hurt to cum?

You know that feeling when you come so hard you can't see or hear poo poo?

Do you like that feeling?

# ? Aug 21, 2020 18:38

beer pal

some men get it over with quick and society shames them for it... such is the way of the world these days

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Aug 21, 2020 18:40

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Nurse: Can you describe your pain level, on a scale of 1 to 10?

Me: It's bad, it's like... I'm cumming

Nurse: Oh, dear- WE'RE GONNA NEED THE STRONG STUFF FOR THIS ONE!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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