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SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

We've all been there. You're making your toast, it pops out hot, fresh, and ready to eat. Almost. All you need is some butter. You reach for it but...IT'S NOT THERE! You search around frantically for a few seconds but to no avail! You have to think fast or your toast will become cold and inedible! Don't Panic! Here are some quick alternatives to butter:

-Olive oil. Dump a little on your toast and enjoy! Mamma mia! Just like in the old country! I'm pretty sure this is how Mario eats!

-The Power Of Imagination!TM The butter is there! I can taste it! Insist that this is true, out loud, between every bite. Ignore the haters! You got this!

-Butt, it's most of the word already! Just place some but on top of that toasted bread and bite down on that juicy thing!

SweetWillyRollbar fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Sep 22, 2020

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Sid Vicious


If you have a particularly greasy complexion, the sebum from your nose can often be gotten in large quantities. it's gross but, dry toast no thank

City of Glompton




smoothing a little primer on my toast, scrape some liquid highlight across it, tilting it in the light. its perfect

Sid Vicious


i have a tub of what purports to be "paste" but it spreads just fine and it doesn't taste like paste. maybe they changed the paste recipe since i used to eat it regularly.

nut


City of Glompton posted:

smoothing a little primer on my toast, scrape some liquid highlight across it, tilting it in the light. its perfect

https://i.imgur.com/nKtUXWf.mp4


god bless the dca, manu, loov, blaiser, and chooby

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

City of Glompton posted:

smoothing a little primer on my toast, scrape some liquid highlight across it, tilting it in the light. its perfect

#toastofinstagram

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

meat

Sid Vicious posted:

If you have a particularly greasy complexion, the sebum from your nose can often be gotten in large quantities. it's gross but, dry toast no thank

Would someone believe it was butter??

Lock

did you finish your bottle of jack last night? no? thereís your butter son

Fredrik1

Gopherslayer

WD-40 ON TOAST LIKE A MAN

Macnult


City of Glompton posted:

smoothing a little primer on my toast, scrape some liquid highlight across it, tilting it in the light. its perfect


sig by prof. crocodile

Zurtilik

Biggest Idiot in Azeroth


I Can't Believe It's nut Butter.

Evil Bob

I've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be believed.


No, I absolutely refuse. I will not believe it. Be gone charlatan! I will hear no more of your Lies!!!


Something strange is happening in Spoonville...(click the Sig by Luvcow to find out)

Epic and Spooky Fall sig courtesy of nut

nut


filling my waterpik reservoir with melted margarine so it gets into all the cracks between the corn kernels

https://i.imgur.com/nKtUXWf.mp4


god bless the dca, manu, loov, blaiser, and chooby

Deep Glove Bruno

Feel the glove!

huff butter flavored essential oil vaporizer, take one bite of toast, repeat

Lock

butter? butter what? ur better off without 'er.

Fredrik1

Gopherslayer

Carefully inspecting a painting of butter

Not butter?

No, I don't belive it

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



All is butter. It is impossible for me to believe in anything but butter.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

meat

I can honestly believe it's not butter; let's stop fooling ourselves.

Evil Bob

I've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be believed.


my whole life has been based on believing itís butter. I just cannot believe itís not butter. if itís not butter I donít even know who I am anymore. please, just tell me itís butter and letís leave it at that


Something strange is happening in Spoonville...(click the Sig by Luvcow to find out)

Epic and Spooky Fall sig courtesy of nut

Dick Bastardly

Muttley is SKYNET!!!

if it's not butter, then i don't want to be right


Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

Prof. Crocodile

This picture, found by typing "random image" into Google, is a more accurate representation of who I am than anything I would have consciously chosen.


wait stop. hold on. are you telling me it wasn't butter this whole time?

i've been living a lie...


thank you to vanisher for the awesome back-to-school sig!

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

The world lies, but butter will never deceive you

Prof. Crocodile

This picture, found by typing "random image" into Google, is a more accurate representation of who I am than anything I would have consciously chosen.


SweetWillyRollbar posted:

The world lies, but butter will never deceive you

the grocer will never help you
only trust your churns


thank you to vanisher for the awesome back-to-school sig!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



I was wrong about butter.

Evil Bob

I've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be believed.


officer she told me it was butter!


Something strange is happening in Spoonville...(click the Sig by Luvcow to find out)

Epic and Spooky Fall sig courtesy of nut

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

Evil Bob posted:

officer she told me it was butter!

Are you butter? If you are, you have to tell me!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



NEVER BELIEVE THE BUTTER

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

Never been butter!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



Upsettingly similar to butter.

SweetWillyRollbar

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

Trapped in the uncanny butter valley. I try to climb out but the walls are too slippery.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



butter only exists if you believe in it

google THIS


Clapping my hands furiously trying to save Peter Pan's partially hydrogenated vegetable oil blend with artificial flavor and color added

google THIS fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Sep 18, 2020

Khanstant


everyday i put toothpaste on my toothbrush and i just cannot believe it's not butter!

Khanstant fucked around with this message at 20:09 on Sep 18, 2020

Khanstant


in fact i loving dare you. come at me with anything. i can't never not believe it ain't butter-- just try me, punk

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



Faithless margarine

google THIS


Skeptic Spread

Robot Made of Meat


I try. Really I do.

All day, every day I try to believe it's not butter. It's gotten to a point where it doesn't even matter what "it" is. My inability to fathom that "it" is anything other than butter grows.

Oh, it started small. Margarine, Oleo, sandwich spread, axle grease. But the disability grew, increasingly, perniciously, inevitably. Soon I had no difficulty believing that any spreadable semisolid was butter. Nothing that could be slathered on with a broad, flat implement was beyond my simple faith in butteriness.

Eventually it spread (pardon my attempt at making my affliction humorous). Soon, I was unable not to believe that solids were not butter. Liquids soon followed. By the time I was utterly convinced that a plasma in a novelty ball from Spencer's Gifts could not possibly be anything other than butter, I knew I was lost. There was no turning back. No cure. No saving me from this hell I'd slipped so innocently into.

But I'm at peace now. I know the madness cannot be reversed, but that doesn't seem to matter. As I go forth inexorably into the bleak future I can perceive endlessly before me, I can at least take solace in the fact that my ability to discern mayonnaise from other salad dressing products is safely intact.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)


Zurtilik posted:

I Can't Believe It's nut Butter.



Autumnal Sig by Vanisher!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



Robot Made of Meat posted:

I try. Really I do.

All day, every day I try to believe it's not butter. It's gotten to a point where it doesn't even matter what "it" is. My inability to fathom that "it" is anything other than butter grows.

Oh, it started small. Margarine, Oleo, sandwich spread, axle grease. But the disability grew, increasingly, perniciously, inevitably. Soon I had no difficulty believing that any spreadable semisolid was butter. Nothing that could be slathered on with a broad, flat implement was beyond my simple faith in butteriness.

Eventually it spread (pardon my attempt at making my affliction humorous). Soon, I was unable not to believe that solids were not butter. Liquids soon followed. By the time I was utterly convinced that a plasma in a novelty ball from Spencer's Gifts could not possibly be anything other than butter, I knew I was lost. There was no turning back. No cure. No saving me from this hell I'd slipped so innocently into.

But I'm at peace now. I know the madness cannot be reversed, but that doesn't seem to matter. As I go forth inexorably into the bleak future I can perceive endlessly before me, I can at least take solace in the fact that my ability to discern mayonnaise from other salad dressing products is safely intact.

Mayonnaise is egg butter

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Prof. Crocodile

This picture, found by typing "random image" into Google, is a more accurate representation of who I am than anything I would have consciously chosen.


google THIS posted:

Clapping my hands furiously trying to save Peter Pan's partially hydrogenated vegetable oil blend with artificial flavor and color added

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Upsettingly similar to butter.


thank you to vanisher for the awesome back-to-school sig!

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