post itt every time you lol that trump was president

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > post itt every time you lol that trump was president

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Tbh bleeding from the eyes and ears should be the normal reaction from spending any amount of time in Trump's presence. I'm surprised it's not more common.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2020 06:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 22:00

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

It reminds me of Nuggan from discworld. The god died, but since the oracles kept releasing increasingly insane proclamations everyone just shrugged and assumed he was still alive.

Similarly the combination of strokes steroids and syphilis have rotted Trump's brain but we can't tell a difference.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2020 04:26

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

I liked it better when I could reliably tell parody from real events.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 22:49

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

priznat posted:

Gonna lol when he does a 5 minute rant and then keels over in front of the crowd.

Please lord

I'm imagining the steroids he's been mainlining cause his head to explode, scanners style.

Then the chuds start talking up how far he was willing to go in order to keep the radical left from siezing power.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2020 23:44

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Have they said what precautions the debate will have to keep Trump from trying to infect Biden? All I've seen are the ~topics~ which are basically irrelevant since one of them can barely string words into a sentence.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2020 12:00

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

ElGroucho posted:

Can�t wait to piss on trump�s grave AND his library too

If they put the library near the tomb, there would be a ready source of toilet paper

# ¿ Oct 24, 2020 19:53

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:

Sorry guys it's over

https://twitter.com/Rasmussen_Poll/status/1320733197722963969?s=19

Pretty screwed up that some parent dressed their daughter like Melania/ivanka, then took her to meet Epstein island buddy and daughter complex haver Donald trump.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2020 16:25

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

What's the deal with the YMCA signing that these dopes are doing on the busses? They did it at the Omaha rally too.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2020 02:02

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Frank Frank posted:

What exactly is a "challenger"? Pretty sure loving with people at the polls if you are not a poll worker is illegal. Is she just going to approach random people in line and demand to see their credentials because if so... lol

Guarantee you this woman's idea of being a "challenger" is screaming obscenities and threatening people with Biden bumper stickers on their vehicles.

At least in Maryland each party is allowed to send one Challenger or Watcher to a polling place. I've never actually seen one when I was an election judge, but iirc the watchers are not allowed to interact with voters or judges, but are allowed in to watch what is going on and report back to the party if anything suspicious is happening. Then the party would take the complaint to the local election board. Challengers are additionally allowed to talk to the chief election judges (there's two, one dem and one republican) at each station and argue points of procedure they feel are valid.

The jobs are probably more frequent in battleground states or places with lots of voter suppression.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2020 17:24

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

This thread, and country, is not good for my health.

Yet I can't leave either

# ¿ Nov 4, 2020 02:32

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Don't doubt the needle when it gives bad news, only when it's good.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2020 02:35

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

It really would have saved alot of anguish if he just had the decency to die of covid last month.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2020 02:50

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Shanghaied posted:

NYT is reporting Rump leading Biden in VA 57% to 40%, with 35% of votes reported, but they have also already called VA for Biden.

I want that to be true, but, how?

# ¿ Nov 4, 2020 02:57

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

I think I'm done for the night. Not gonna go to sleep, just lay there in the darkness, alone with my dread and the dizziness from ill advised drinking.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2020 03:49

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Powered Descent posted:

Serious question: what did they do during the Civil War / Reconstruction elections, where some of the southern states weren't participating (for fairly obvious reasons)? Did the 50%+1 EV threshold for winning stay the same, or did it drop to account for the absent states?

In 1864 CSA declined to participate in the USA election, and so the total number of electoral votes was 234, rather than the 304 it would have been if they hadn't attempted to secede.

In the actual election Lincoln carried the entire Union except Delaware, Kentucky and New Jersey, giving him 212 to McClellan's 21 (one guy in Nevada refused to vote). The occupied Confederate States of Tennessee and Louisiana held elections which Lincoln won. But those two state's electoral votes were invalidated due to "war concerns". Had they been counted Lincoln would have ended up at 229 votes to McClellan's 21.

For the hypothetical election, even had the antebellum south including TN and LA, and that one guy in NV voted against Lincoln the results would have 212-92

Furthermore even if the rebels somehow decided, and been allowed to vote in the '64 election, the Emancipation Proclaimation happened on Jan 1, 1863. So the rebellious counties of the South would also have lost a large chunk of electoral votes since the 3/5th Rules wasn't artificially enlarging their voting power. My napkin math puts the lost votes at 16, meaning the election would have been 212-78 for Lincoln. West Virginia was split off into it's own state too, further reducing Virginia's votes.

So Lincoln would have won again overwhelmingly regardless of whether the rebellious states voted or not.

Presumably the 1864 election set the precedent of there not being a quorum for the electoral college. If a states doesn't vote like the CSA the EC shrinks by that much. If a state tries to vote but isn't allowed like Tennessee and Louisiana the EC and it's win % doesn't change, but those disallowed votes aren't valid. So if somehow Trump got Georgia's votes invalidated, then Biden would lose 16 votes, but the 270 to win wouldn't change.

PS: The South always relied on northerners being disunited and voting against their own interests, and used political shenanigans to dominate the North. If you want to read about the actual mechanics of how they did it the book The Slave Power by Leonard Richards goes into it in depth.

And it turns out the very same counties in PA NY and the north east which supported the Democrat in the 1800s are the ones that support Republicans currently. Those copperhead doefaces never change.

Galvanik fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Nov 12, 2020

# ¿ Nov 12, 2020 05:06

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Ford pardoned Nixon though, and I don't think he'd been formally accused.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2020 05:04

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Molten Llama posted:

Like, I can fully understand his desire to hide his rosacea with makeup� but why Sunkist?

I remember reading somewhere that Nigerian Prince scammers deliberately make their introduction emails obviously dodgey as a sorting method. Since only the true suckers will respond they don't have to waste time trying to find a gullible mark to con. I always figured Trump's clown makeup, and whole presentation was something similar.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2020 03:13

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

I hope they invite some New York cops to the inauguration to arrest Trump the moment he's not president? Dragging him away on live TV in front of God and everybody. Maybe he'd even cry.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2020 21:39

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

This thing I read said that if Flynn's pardon isn't declared unlawful, it means Trump isn't protected by Flynn's use of the fifth amendment anymore. Flynn would then be legally obligated to testify against Trump or go to jail for criminal obstruction

That's a big lol

# ¿ Nov 26, 2020 05:10

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Virginia Slams posted:

drat they must have been on a budget using super old USB drives or maybe voter files are just huge because you can buy a 256 gig USB for 25 dollars at best buy

Each individual voting machine has two usb sticks. One is never removed, I think it's the emergency backup log. The other is removed after each election night, then put in a sealed container with the printed log (basically a 6+ ft long grocery receipt). So there are twice the number of usb sticks in any given county as there are voting machines.

It's still a stupid lie he's telling, but it's not unlikely that are big bins of hundreds of usb drives under lock and key at each county's central election office immediately following election night. Each of those drives is unique to one specific machine though, so you couldn't just chuck a bag of them into a bog without it being immediately noticed when the counterfeit drives are put back in their paired machine.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2020 22:49

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Pick posted:

They don't want to get Covid lol

So much for the efficacy of the vaccines they're making.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2020 01:10

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Trump being vote cucked by the supreme court is a very good lol to end the day on.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2020 06:25

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like Donald Trump to poo poo himself on live national tv. A real poo geyser where you look at it and think no human being could be that full of poo poo. Flopping around on the ground like a deflating balloon slathering all his assorted minions and enablers with a fecal shower.

Thank you for the lols in advance

# ¿ Dec 22, 2020 12:11

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

The Last Call posted:

Secret Service experts are speculating in group chats about how Trump might be hauled out of the White House if he won't budge on Inauguration Day

https://www.businessinsider.com/biden-trump-eviction-inauguration-secret-service-white-house-2020-11

The Secret Service has never had to drag a president out of the White House. And there's no obvious government playbook on how to handle a commander in chief who refuses to budge when his replacement shows up at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

President Donald Trump still refuses to concede the election, and he told some of his advisors he wouldn't leave the White House on Inauguration Day, according to CNN. This all has triggered speculation about how Trump might be physically removed from the building when the new president is sworn in on January 20.

It's even been a hot topic in a private group chat involving former Secret Service officials and Department of Homeland Security alumni from both Republican and Democratic administrations, according to a former Obama administration DHS official.

President-elect Joe Biden's team has said the government would have no trouble removing "trespassers" from the White House if it comes down to that on Inauguration Day.

The process for removing Trump from the Oval Office has been a hot topic in a group chat with former Secret Service officials and other DHS alumni from both Republican and Democratic administrations, said Douglas Smith, who served as assistant secretary for the Department of Homeland Security during the Obama administration.

One scenario that's been floated: The Secret Service detail charged with guarding Trump would "sort of close their eyes" while Biden's Secret Service team comes in and walks Trump out the door, Smith said.

There has also been speculation the FBI could get involved or that the US Marshal Service, a branch of the Justice Department, could come in and escort Trump out, Smith said. The US Marshal Service did not respond to a request for comment.

"This has never ever, ever happened before," Smith said. But ultimately, it could work just like any other eviction.

I expect it'll be like in shawshank redemption with the warden about to be arrested. Only instead of shooting himself he'll just live tweet and void his bowels in anxeity.

Edit: so either way they'll need a mop is what I'm saying.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2021 21:36

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 00:47

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

It'll be a pretty big lol if covid killed enough trump supporters in the two months between the two elections to swing things.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 02:02

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Oh lord, lay me down!

Edit: when do they take office? Is it possible that trump can be impeached again, then convicted in the two weeks left?

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 06:06

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

A guy I know in GA tells me that they're gonna need to do a recount for Perdue/Ossoff.

My joy is dampened. It was a good 30 minutes though.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 06:29

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

I know the antifa legions are going to assemble to attack and dethrone God, but I hope we can focus on some temporal issues first. Like sorting out vaccine distribution.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 06:56

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Normally i dont like to go to sleep since that means tomorrow comes sooner. Now I don't want to fall asleep because it'd mean tonight would be over. A significant improvement!

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 07:24

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Should I go out and buy a gun? Seriously, this is hosed up.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 21:25

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

I feel like letting your bosses be attacked by an angry mob of traitors is probably not the best way to keep them from firing you.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 22:56

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Ches Neckbeard posted:

Dude cops sent a message today. There will be no reform or defunding. If anything their budgets are going to get even more bloated

The message I took away was "we're useless at best and traitors at worst, please fire us and reconstruct our department from the ground up"

# ¿ Jan 6, 2021 23:32

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

The quality of Putin's lols must be sublime.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 01:14

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Pres Johnson said "Treason must be made odious, and traitors impoverished." then proceeded to hamstring Reconstruction eventually leading to all those traitors getting their power back.

Based on that I think Pres Biden will give Trump a spot on his cabinet in order to foster reconciliation.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 01:18

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

Sometime tomorrow: Trump schedules a video conference. A solemn hush falls over the agents protecting him as they escort him out from the bunker. He slowly makes his way to the podium. The air is tense with anticipation. He bows his head as if in thought. Then with his weakened arm he reaches to his throat fupa and ... pulls off his face mask revealing VINCE MCMAHON! That son of a bitch!

"IT WAS ME AMERICA! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! AND YOU ALL BOUGHT IT! HAHAHA!"

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 01:27

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

If these people actually do get sent to jail there's a decent chance they'll get vaccinations before the rest of us. Lol

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 05:38

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

What a day. I closed it out by emailing my senators and representative telling them to impeach at once. For all the good that'll do since they're Dems, and probably not ever gonna see it.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 06:58

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

This guy tried to have me killed but it's not a good time with primaries coming up to do anything about it.

Jesus loving christ.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 16:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 22:00

Galvanik: Feb 28, 2013

The most charitable interpretation is that they adjourned to go touch base with their Governors, constituents, and donors, knowing that an emergency session could be reconvened shortly once all the political ducks are in a row.

Since it's the hell timeline Congress is probably just patting themselves on the back about their statesman like ability to maintain decorum in the face of a lynch mob out to murder many of them.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 16:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > post itt every time you lol that trump was president

«‹›2 »