|
|
Scrambled eggs are a ruined breakfast. Fried eggs are delicious. Omelettes are delicious. Even the egg-white omelette is a delicious diet-conscientious classic. Churn those leftover yolks into a frozen custard to share with a friend on your next cheat-day! These egg recipes are all dirt simple, you can learn any of them in an afternoon. Or, at the very last minute, you can gently caress it all up. You can undo all of nature's careful work and chemistry keeping egg white and egg yolk separate, forgo all the great and delicious and versatile recipes at your disposal, and smash your breakfast up in a pan like a two-year-old "helping" Mommy cook. What would have been, if you'd just left it alone, a lovely crisp breakfast with a creamy yellow center, is now one large uniform sponge-scab of Easter yellow foam, destined to drown in ketchup or hot-sauce just to make it remotely edible. What could have been one of literally millions of types of omelette is instead a blank sheet, served as-is to your unfortunate and disappointed guest. There it is, the least of breakfasts. The greasy spoon's greatest failure. Scrambled god-drat eggs. A blubbery sheet of insulation, flopped onto your plate with the unmistakable slap of ennui- it even sighs at itself as you poke it, as unsure as you are if this bloated mess before you is food or if the kitchen accidentally served you a pot-holder. Scrambled eggs, the "nothing omelette", worse than what it was or what it could be, a thoroughly ruined breakfast. I try to keep an open mind but, unless you're serving to someone whose jaw is wired shut, or maybe an endangered baby condor you're training to eat via puppet in a lab, there's no reason to mash your nice, already-edible dish of food together into a uniform blob before you eat it. Imagine this approach applied to other lovely, already-perfectly-edible meals. Peanut butter sandwich, yum yum. Let's mash it up into doughy goo in a plastic bag first, clearly now it's better. Chicken and rice? Now it's rice-gruel in processed chicken slurry, mm mm. Fish sticks! Nossir, gritty chum fresh from the blender. How delicious. Leave that process to the privacy of inside your own skull, please. Even people with all-liquid diets don't pour them into bowls and sit there at the table, eating Soylent with a spoon like it's soup. They chug that stuff in their car between jobs/panic attacks; no Styrofoam shell, school-cafeteria plastic fork or steady table surface are needed. Scrambled eggs are not yummy, quick or convenient compared to the regular fried eggs you ruined to get them. They could have been an omelette with the addition of even one ingredient, but no, they're just ruined eggs. And I defy anyone to defend them! 
|
#
¿
Oct 18, 2020 19:59
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:55 |
|
|
|
google THIS posted:But what if you add leftover pizza to them op Then it's a pizza omelette. Delicious, totally viable. It's plain scrambled eggs I find to be so unbearably miserable as to whine for paragraphs about them. Just what I felt like writing this morning, haha.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 18, 2020 21:54
|
|
|
|
Scrambled eggs are bad and gross and a bad gross breakfast. I am sorry some people have never had good breakfasts and are therefore content to gnaw on the mattress foam. But short of some kind of international better breakfasts initiative, I don't know what could undo this terrible injustice.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2020 00:27
|
|
|
|
I'm receptive to fine-tuning the definition. If there's a specific category of scrambled eggs we can all agree must be banished from this world, my oath would be satisfied.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2020 20:21
|
|
|
|
Another scrambled egg failure story 
|
|
#
¿
Oct 19, 2020 21:29
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:55 |
|
|
|
Gluten Free Dad posted:what's all this bullshit about "preparing" eggs. eat them as god intended, whole, directly from the nest. This guys gets it.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 21, 2020 19:03
|
|