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Eyyy woah pal, This thread is about New York City, I've been there a few times and its kind of a crazy place. There have been a ton of movies and music made about it (most notably Home Alone 2) and the general consensus seems to be that its the "greatest city in the world". While I think any city that assigns itself the title of "greatest" has got to be full of poo poo, New York City has given us some amazing people: - Woody Allen; - Donald Trump; - Mayor Rudolph Giuliani; - Chevy Chase and; - David Berkowitz Its the city that brought us such great memes as Hulk Hogan doing 9/11. Something special happens to you when you move to "The Big Apple". It changes you inside. Take these fine folks for example:   True story, I once had a friend who moved to New York from The Midwest. They told me about what a unique and interesting person they had become, it was like they all of a sudden knew secrets that nobody else knew. They regaled me with tales of "walking to the end of the train where you get off so you can get right on the stairs and spend less time on the subway platform". My midwestern mind was blown. I had never been on an underground railroad like they had described, and the idea of efficiency was completely lost on my simple corn-fed brain. Visiting NYC can be great fun though, especially if you are with someone who "knows the city". I would really suggest keeping any previous knowledge of this enigmatic city to yourself. There is nothing a "native" (moved to NYC greater than 3 years ago) New Yorker likes more than being your personal guide to their very special playground. They have bars that, get this, DONT HAVE A SIGN. THERES NO WAY OF KNOWING THE BAR IS THERE UNLESS YOU HAVE A REAL NEW YORKER WITH YOU. What could be within these hidden bars? Are they even legal?! Well yes they are, and inside are $40 Negronis. A word to the wise though. If you are visiting someone in NYC do not I REPEAT DO NOT mention TIME SQUARE. The Time Square is the bane of all REAL New Yorkers. If you ask about going there they will stamp and snort and huff and holler. They hate it because its for tourists, and if your from New York then you don't have a New York minute for out of towners, they are always looking up at the buildings (boring), and staring at their maps (idiots). Its like COMON I'M WALKIN' HEAHH I GOTTA GET TO FUGGIN WALL STREET. You can use this thread to talk about THE REAL NYC.
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Dec 9, 2020 10:51
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 08:14 |
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The Time Square is awful of course, but because the real hotness is The Time Cube
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Dec 9, 2020 11:17
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out-of-towners in new york will ask you for directions if you look miserable enough.
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Dec 9, 2020 11:33
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More like Poo York lovely am I right ladies and gentlemen?
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Dec 9, 2020 11:38
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Eeyyyy I'm walkin' here
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Dec 9, 2020 11:39
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Ey whoa pal yaself. *chews and pops bubblegum*
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Dec 9, 2020 11:48
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I was in New York once for a week about 15 years ago. My two notable stories from that week. 1)I got very drunk in an Irish bar one night, and spent the wee hours of the morning discussing the various pros and cons of Princess Diana with a gay guy and a middle aged scottish woman. I was very hungover in the morning, but found a little milk bar style shop, (in New York they call them 'bodegas'), and had some orange/carrot juice mix. Fixed me right up. 2)I ate at the Hooters which was across the street from the studio where the filmed David Letterman.
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Dec 9, 2020 11:48
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My least favorite verses in "Let's Get down" by Bow Wow and "Welcome to Atlanta (Remix)" are about New York.  eSports Chaebol posted:The Time Square is awful of course, but because the real hotness is The Time Cube deadass B
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Dec 9, 2020 14:09
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yeah i guess new york is OK but it's no york
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Dec 9, 2020 14:13
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Ay, I'm fiduciary here!
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Dec 9, 2020 14:15
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How does a guy from Brooklyn say the alphabet? Fuckin' A, fuckin' B, fuckin' C...
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Dec 9, 2020 14:17
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One time in NYC i got two chili cheese dogs but they forgot the cheese on one of them
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Dec 9, 2020 14:18
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Hey, you mess with one of us, you mess with ALL of us! Eyyyyy! *saves Spider-Man from Doctor Octopus*
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Dec 9, 2020 14:18
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Eyyyyyyy bada bing! I’m postin heeaahhhh! Youse godda problem wit dat? Geddouddda heeaahhh!
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Dec 9, 2020 17:52
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My wife graduated from NYU, and one day on the way to class she got on the subway and fell between the subway platform and train car door, held up by her kneecaps. Zero people attempted to help her out. She had to get out on her own. One time me and her were walking and this guy must have thought I was a sucker because he came up to me and asked me if I liked rap music; figuring he just wanted to hand me a flyer or some poo poo I said "yeah" and he asked me my name and to listen to some of his music. I knew this scam so I just walked away. He walked behind me, and kept trying to intimidate me into giving him money. I just ignored him and kept walking; I wasn't going to be scared by this dude into giving him 10 bucks. He eventually gave up about 2 blocks down. Anyway, in actuality, I probably should have been scared of him because like a month later he was shot dead by police after pulling out a loving mac10 in Times Square and began bucking shots randomly. As soon as I saw it on the news I recognized him immediately. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/times-square-shooting-peddler-sold-cds-to-tourists-while-carrying-loaded-machine-gun-say-cops/ It's a cool city with insane food and amazing nightlife and culture but it literally smells like hot piss 24/7 and DiBlasio does absolutely nothing about the homeless people that literally beat my uncle and bit him across his entire back so I can't exactly say I regret moving away after we had kids.
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Dec 9, 2020 18:48
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In New York they have some different restaurants than the ones in your town.
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Dec 9, 2020 18:52
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Heyyyyy I'm dying of covid ova here
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Dec 9, 2020 18:58
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New York is a dump, go to New New York
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Dec 9, 2020 18:58
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i have smoked weed there as well, yes
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Dec 9, 2020 19:00
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NYC is alright but it's no Boise
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Dec 9, 2020 19:12
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Ayyy Big Time Tommy here listening to the OlD SCHOOL! Welcome to STRONG island babbbby
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Dec 9, 2020 19:18
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My first time in New York, an old guy in Central Park came up to me and my girlfriend and told us the most romantic thing to do in the city was to get the ferry to Staten Island just before sunset so you could watch lower Manhattan light up on the way back. He was right, so thanks for that, old guy. My second time in New York, I got into an argument with the TSA guy at immigration because he didn't understand why I'd come back
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Dec 9, 2020 19:19
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My favorite nyc memory was in 2012 or 2013 iirc, that long rear end winter where it kept snowing. I was there right as the weeks of accumulated snow were finally melting. Did you know that new yorkers traditionally stop picking up dog poop when it snows? It's customary to just bury it in the snow. This way, when the snow finally melts, all of the winter's accumulated dog poo poo melts onto the sidewalk all at once for easy cleanup in one go. Very smart and efficient. E: also, all the dogs were wearing shoes at the time, but it may just have been a passing fad
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Dec 9, 2020 19:37
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eeeeyyy i'm being ovah heah ovah heah!
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Dec 9, 2020 19:42
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Eyyyy I gadda Longisland for ya right heah pal! *grabs crotch*
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Dec 9, 2020 19:49
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*buys a doubledecker couch and literally doubles his living space*
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Dec 9, 2020 19:50
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I visited once and vowed to never do so again. New York is a dying, groaning vessel barely able to stay ahead of its own rapid decay. The sheer logistics of replenishing daily resources like food, or the removal of trash, is remiscent of the clogged arteries of a corpulent sickly man.
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Dec 9, 2020 19:54
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Saw this in the subway once. That's my NYC story.
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Dec 9, 2020 19:59
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Just now in my news feed
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Dec 9, 2020 20:00
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So how about that M&Ms store? My cousin says they genetically engineered a real life version of the sexy Green M&M from the commercials and you can gently caress it.
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Dec 9, 2020 20:11
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eSports Chaebol posted:The Time Square is awful of course, but because the real hotness is The Time Cube i always thought the times square was a cube. thats what i imagine in my head when i think of "times square", a big cube
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Dec 9, 2020 20:14
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bartok posted:So how about that M&Ms store? My cousin says they genetically engineered a real life version of the sexy Green M&M from the commercials and you can gently caress it. Buddy...
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Dec 9, 2020 20:23
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*sees a man making puke angels in his own bright pink puke in the middle of a subway on a tuesday afternoon* "only in new york man, lmao"
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Dec 9, 2020 20:23
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it is a travesty that the awful east coast gets the good timezone
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Dec 9, 2020 20:39
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The wife once said she wanted to see New York but I persuaded her that we need to see York first. And we're not going to York.
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Dec 9, 2020 20:46
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did a ton of underage drinking in Chelsea once and the famed NYPD didn't even catch me 
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Dec 9, 2020 20:50
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I remember one time being in the Toys R Us store in Times Square on the 2nd floor where they had that "bag your own candy, weigh it, and pay for it" thing. And they literally had a security guard who stood there the whole day yelling at people who were sneaking a gummy shark in their gullets. Just non-stop "Hey, you! Put that gummy shark back! You have to pay for that!" all day long. We were there filling our bags up for like 15 minutes and must have heard the security guard yell at 10 different people. It always made me wonder how they could possibly justify having a security guard man the candy section all day. There's no way in hell the amount of candy that people snuck in their mouths could ever equate to what they were paying that security guard, no matter how low their wage was.
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Dec 9, 2020 20:51
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It's not about the money, it's about putting the consumers in their place
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Dec 9, 2020 20:58
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I'm glad I'm already here so I know how cool it is.givepatajob posted:Saw this in the subway once. That's my NYC story. I saw this written on the back of a bus seat (edit: at least I'm pretty sure that's what it was): 
YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Dec 9, 2020 |
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Dec 9, 2020 21:00
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 08:14 |
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YeahTubaMike posted:I saw this written on the back of a bus seat: 
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Dec 9, 2020 21:04
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