|
I'm a simple man. I want simple things. In life, one often wonders, what is it all for? What is my goal? Where do I want to be? Where do I see myself? I'm sure many of you have asked similar questions to yourselves. Is there some place, some situation, some collaboration of time and space, where you ultimately want to be? A happy place? I have such a place. Perhaps it is my Slavic roots, I don't know, I just feel that I want a cabin or cottage. In Russia, it's called a Dacha. A place by a lake. A beach. But also with forest; great boreal forest. Dusky paths that wind to and fro. A nice porch that looks out over the water. We build a bonfire down there and friends gather around. It's a warm summer night. You can see the stars. You can see firebugs flare up and disappear. The dogs are free to roam about and the cats sit on railings, unafraid of the wagging tails and curious noses. Drinks are in the freezer and food is cooling on the grill. I sit in an old wooden chair and rock back with my feet against the porch rails. I play an old gypsy tune, two guitars, slowly, on a beat up old acoustic I found in some garage sale. My friends are chatting and laughing. My wife stands beside me and puts an arm around my shoulders. She's wearing just a summer dress. We're all barefoot. Barefoot on the beach, barefoot on the lawn, barefoot in the dacha. The kids should be asleep but they've woken up and are sneaking about, trying to catch glimpses at the adults. They listen to our talks and wonder what we're saying and what it means. We know they're there but we let them play their little game of hiding and staying up. A pair of midgets dressed in jester hats and elf shoes walk out with a giant steel turkey baster. I drop my pants and put one leg up on a wooden ottoman. They shove the stainless steel syringe-like instrument up my rear end and proceed to pump pure clean cocaine into my anus. No laxatives or any of that nonsense, just 100% chemical grade coke. From my paraneum dangles a set of tubes, of a gauge not much thicker than most electronic wires. A third midget wheels out a machine: a hydrolic pump with a large vat on top. The wires are attached to the machine and it pumps a synthetic seminal fluid ceaselessly through my jimmy jams and out my raging hard cock. "I'm an animal!," I exclaim. I spray pre-warmed pseudo-jizz everywhere in an endless orgasm. The machine rumbles and lurches. The three jester elf midgets keep walking in and out of the cabin carrying four gallon jugs of the stuff to pour into the hopper. I fart a cloud of cocaine. The RCMP shows up and is trying to bust me. Not only for the coke but also for the three sixteen year old girls who I had a crush on in high school (servants of my dear wife). They are still sixteen somehow, gently caress you, this is my imagination, and they constantly suck at my balls and shaft.* "We have you surrounded!," proclaims the leader of the bunch. I turn and mow them down with my 1873 single action army Colt revolver, fanning the hammer as I go. Head shots, all of them. "They were good men!," I shout at the supporting officers who are surely hiding back in the woods. Seeing my clear superiority, the feds back off. They throw out a bag full of money as they leave, hoping that I will be distracted by it and not hunt them down. An Edwardian butler approaches me with an old telephone on a silver platter. "For you, sir." I pick up the phone and hold it to my ear. It's the President of the United States. He says he's sorry and that if there's anything he can do to help, I should just ask. I tell him to end the COVID lockdowns. "Right away," he says. I hang up, lab made cum firing wildly from my dick like a fire hose out of control, 1873 Colt in my other hand, my friends by the bonfire, 5 dead mounties on the grassy hillock up by the cabin, my two little young ones hiding behind a barely open door smiling and giggling, trying not to be seen. And the three hottest chicks from high school, canoodling around my scrotum. Ah, the good life. Another coke fart. This one makes a O ring and one of the dogs rushes up to sniff at it. We all laugh. We all laugh. Good times. *And they play with each other's nipples every now and again, too, why not.
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 23:45 |
|
|
Ok
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:14
|
|
|
my happy place is here, on the general bullshit subforum
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:15
|
|
|
Yes it's hell.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:25
|
|
|
You're gonna have to make the three girls 18 to get past the censors, other than that this is pretty good
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:32
|
|
|
Also I don't wanna talk about my happy place you guys would just laugh at me and I'm very fragile somebody made fun of me for not liking mushrooms already today I can't take any more. Hope you understand
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:33
|
|
|
That was a pretty good story about sexually exploiting minors and murdering police officers.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 02:49
|
|
|
mom and dad fight a lot posted:That was a pretty good story about sexually exploiting minors and murdering police officers. The good stuff.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 03:18
|
|
|
Ansar Santa fucked around with this message at 03:25 on Dec 14, 2020 |
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 03:23
|
|
|
the woods when I'm out with the dudes huntin' squatch
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 03:32
|
|
|
well you're no hakan. but you'll do
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 03:39
|
|
|
Happy place:
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 04:07
|
|
|
Chomp8645 posted:Happy place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBBKVxjlMsQ
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 04:09
|
|
|
slide
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 04:59
|
|
|
My bike while I'm being an rear end in a top hat in traffic and breaking every possible traffic law. It fuckin rules. Also I didn't read the OP why would I?
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 05:03
|
|
|
I can show you on a doll
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 06:42
|
|
|
All the joy and happiness is instantly drained from whatever place I enter, whether it be in my imagination or in this thread. ... but I appreciate your efforts OP.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 08:54
|
|
|
No, I don’t have a happy place, only temporarily less depressed places. They do not involve underage girls, bizarre sexual apparatuses, cocaine, weapons, violence, police, Donald Trump, little people, butlers, or isolated cabins. They’re mostly off-season amusement parks after I’ve had a large, extra spicy Bloody Mary (I recently quit drinking but this fantasy is during a vacation so I’m treating myself), a medium sized edible, and maybe an adderall so I have the energy to go on every ride and see every attraction. Bonus points if it’s rainy out (but still warm), rainy enough to bother most of the other park guests into leaving, but not me and my party, and certainly not rainy enough to close the park. Only did this once but really want to again. I think it was a Six Flags irl, so next time I want it to be Disneyland Paris. No gross sexual stuff, just family and friendship. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 10:40
|
|
|
No but I keep trying to find it at the bottom of a bottle OP.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 11:07
|
|
|
Its that place your consciousness goes to where you're on the edge of black-out drunk and just very drunk.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 15:20
|
|
|
If I tell you youll come and ruin it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 17:02
|
|
|
It's a little ways into my butt
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 17:33
|
|
|
getting bone zoned, obviously.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 17:52
|
|
|
Just close your eyes and picture yourself inside the most pleasant and wholesome scene you can imagine.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 18:19
|
|
|
Oh no that snake is eating her!
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 18:35
|
|
|
It used to be here til you posted
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 18:36
|
|
|
your Dad's rear end in a top hat
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 18:43
|
|
|
What a mess, my happy place is a clean place to sit or lie down
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 18:51
|
|
|
cliche but literally any time I'm left totally alone in a natural setting.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 23:17
|
|
|
Chomp8645 posted:Just close your eyes and picture yourself inside the most pleasant and wholesome scene you can imagine. This is cute 
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 23:19
|
|
|
My orgone accumulator. If you combine them with orgasm-denial to concentrate your energies you can perform cloud bursts just using your mind. 5G towers won't stop me.
|
|
#
?
Dec 14, 2020 23:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 23:45 |
|
|
Mwah. Fantastic post. Well done, Sargent.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2020 02:10
|
|