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Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP
the pro move is to have a kid at exactly fifty years of age. cant wait

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President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
thatís what my father in law did

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD posted:

not having kids until i'm in my late 30s and only if I can afford childcare

I'm gonna real talk for a second

- stop waiting
- there will never be a right time
- your babymomma will re-enact her upbringing, guaranteed. Don't kid yourself into thinking otherwise, and be sure you're OK with everything that means.

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Jan 17, 2021

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
-donít bother getting a diaper genie

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

...I mean if you need a new trash can why not

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

what's up mid 30s dad? actually it's good because my friends had them a couple of years in advance so a) we got to extend our 20s into our 30s with respect to irresponsible levels of drinking and b) we've been given poo poo loads of baby clothes and useful stuff, like who knew babies need a special bath? Not this guy!

these are all good points, we got p. much everything for free as a hand-me-down, including a $600 carseat/stroller thingie that we'd never have bought

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe

President Beep posted:

-donít bother getting a diaper genie

ours was a free hand-me-down - aside from needing stupid custom bags, it's way better than the regular trash-can we have downstairs

my homie dhall
Dec 9, 2010

honey, oh please, it's just a machine

Poopernickel posted:

I just wish I hadn't waited until I was in my mid thirties to do it

why's that

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 14, 2007


Fun Shoe
Because itís exhausting

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




I had kids from my early mid 20s and it was exhausting then as well. wife and I just console ourselves with the FACT that they will all be gone out of our house before we are 50 as much as we love them

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
but who will run the farm?

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe

The pregnancy was harder on my wife, and we're having trouble getting a second one to stick. The risk of birth defects is statistically higher. But we want our son to have a sibling to grow up with.

Also I'll be in my 50s before my kid goes to college, and probably in my sixties before I ever see a grandkid. I could be dead before I ever see a great grandkid.

Plus I'm the oldest in a bunch of parent-group situations.

Also I like having my kid, it's fun and rewarding - why not start something good as early as possible

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 14:43 on Jan 17, 2021

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe
but anyways, computer good

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

parenting is like small shrunken grapes because its literally just raisin kids

my homie dhall
Dec 9, 2010

honey, oh please, it's just a machine

Poopernickel posted:

The pregnancy was harder on my wife, and we're behaving trouble getting a second one to stick. The risk of birth defects is statistically higher. But we want our son to have a sibling to grow up with.

Also I'll be in my 50s before my kid goes to college, and probably in my sixties before I ever see a grandkid. I could be dead before I ever see a great grandkid.

Plus I'm the oldest in a bunch of parent-group situations.

Also I like having my kid, it's fun and rewarding - why not start something good as early as possible

ah, sorry to hear about those troubles. my ďhave a kidĒ plan is currently early to mid 30s which is why I asked. I have trouble seeing having the money / stability before then at any rate

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad
Fun Shoe
Words of wisdom from an old-timer: broke rear end people have kids all the time, and nobody is happy if they're old and alone

TimWinter
Mar 30, 2015

https://timsthebomb.com
Whenever I propose something that the little one will likely disagree with, I tell my wife "Wintergirl and I have a deal- I do what I want, and she deals."

This sounds like an emotionally distant, tough love dad thing but it's really just talking a big game so I don't have to face that I'm wrapped around her little finger.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

once my kids were fighting over a bath mat..

so as a solution, I got from the cupboard a second, identical bathmat, and gave it to them so they could have one each.

I was shocked when both lost interest in having exclusive access to the bath mat

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
my youngest is 17 months and oldest is 7 years. the other day they fought over something for the first time. :3:

(my watuary bottle! :argh:)

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
unironically love being a dad but hoo boy do i enjoy the quiet times.

SmokaDustbowl
Feb 12, 2001

dog hater
Fun Shoe

President Beep posted:

unironically love being a dad but hoo boy do i enjoy the quiet times.

lmao my best friend just had her second kid recently, and she got 5 minutes to give me a call tonight while she was was nursing

I get to be the weird aunt lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDmxD78DKUw

Bored Online
May 25, 2009

We don't need Rome telling us what to do.
i do not appreciate the self reflection this thread is inspiring

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
sometimes I think about how much I love my cat and I start tearing up. I dunno if that means I will be a good dad or a bad dad - could see it going either way

cowboy beepboop
Feb 24, 2001


my little guy is almost 2 and a half and I think hella smart, at least I hope (and tell myself) that's why he's so loving cheeky and always looking to get a rise out of his mum and me. anyway about time to try for number 2. as an only child this is hella uncharted territory for me

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


President Beep posted:

unironically love being a dad but hoo boy do i enjoy the quiet times.

I said to my wife yesterday "now I know why people have those" home office" buildings at the end of the garden, it's so they can go there and conveniently pretend they cant hear their name being called to help"

a friend has 2 boys (ages uhhhh idk 5 and 3 maybe?) and has just had twin boys on top of that. can you even imagine?

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

a friend has 2 boys (ages uhhhh idk 5 and 3 maybe?) and has just had twin boys on top of that. can you even imagine?
I mean yes but also gently caress that

shoeberto
Jun 13, 2020

which way to the MACHINES?
I don't really have much to say, but we are making very serious motions towards trying this year (getting some longstanding fertility concerns checked etc), and I am enjoying all of these candid takes.

Oh I guess there's one thing. How much does it suck to have a young kid when you don't have much of a local support network? We live far from family and our friend group is pretty small atm.

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
eh, if you and your partner work well together and can navigate schedules it can be fine. we were in a similar boat with our first and it went ok. ymmv.

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP
we had some born-again friends back in AR and they loved to make babies. one day over there the wife said giddily "if the man's on top it'll be a girl, if the woman's on top it'll be a boy!"

me: <gesticulates towards their boy toddler> "So that explains that"

her: "Oh no, sometimes God throws you a curveball!"

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP
evangelicals love pregnancy and baby having because its the only way they can publicly talk about sex and cumming

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

President Beep posted:

-donít bother getting a diaper genie

yeah those proprietary bag liners are the scam there

really you just want something that takes regularass kitchen trash bags like this one

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

Poopernickel posted:

The pregnancy was harder on my wife, and we're having trouble getting a second one to stick. The risk of birth defects is statistically higher.

this is p overblown, really it's still quite a small difference

the larger concern is diminishing fertility and complications with the pregnancy itself (like pre-eclampsia), but even still it's a sliding scale and the language and definitions around "advanced maternal age" ie giving birth after 35 is p outdated

unless you're like pushing 50 or diabetic i wouldn't worry about it too much

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

shoeberto posted:

Oh I guess there's one thing. How much does it suck to have a young kid when you don't have much of a local support network? We live far from family and our friend group is pretty small atm.

we live on the opposite side of the country from both of our families and it would've been p rough without paid maternity and paternity leave (thanks california). between that and her shockingly permissive residency program hoverwife was able to take off 14 weeks paid, while i got 6

also my mother in law flew over for those first two weeks, which are p rough because babby isn't on a day-night schedule yet and whatnot. but after that we v specifically didn't have the grandmas start staying over until hoverwife went back to work, then they did alternating shifts of like two weeks or so - this allowed us to not start (paying for) daycare until nearly 6 months old. and buddy, newborn daycare is not cheap


still, this was nothing compared to childe #2 away from family - you can't exactly have a toddler in the delivery room, for starters

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 14, 2007


Fun Shoe
Yeah we pretty much rely on my wifeís family

Even if her mom has bad childcare habits and cut her hair without asking

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

Arcteryx Anarchist posted:

cut her hair without asking

massive party foul.

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 14, 2007


Fun Shoe
I do think my wife has stopped complaining and it was a month ago already

Also right before Christmas photos

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD
Jul 7, 2012

having kids just seems awful both in the day to day and also in the aggregate

im only in my late 20s but i think it would be pretty cool to spend the rest of my life doing whatever i want with my future partner(s)

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
thereís only one thing to say there: it ainít for everyone, and thatís 100% ok.

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD
Jul 7, 2012

increasingly my plan seems to be: hang out with my friends'/brothers'/cousins' kids and be a real person in their lives, and then go home and party with my s/o because I don't have to take care of a child.

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pram
Jun 10, 2001
sounds lame af op

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