trem_two posted:

I can't remember when or where it happened (Anfield?) but there was a time when some player went flying over the ad hoarding into the front row, and an old man sitting there just has a pleasant chuckle and pulls out his camera to snap some photos of the player lying there. That always makes me lol.

trem_two posted:

the sex ghost posted:

Wenger finally caving to the demand for more signings by signing a 32 year old Kim kallstrom with a broken spine

JollyBoyJohn posted:

When Rodney Sneijder brother of Wesley moved to Dundee United, had one game and realised Dundee wasn't as pretty as the Netherlands before booking it back home

paddyboat posted:

an absolute legend posted:

Dear Mr Gibson

I am writing with regard to the current managerial vacancy at Middlesbrough Football Club. I would be extremely grateful if you could consider my CV in your search for the new manager. I really feel that this is an ideal job for me given my enthusiasm for football along with my related experience and qualifications.

I have both the technical and practical experience of managing a football club. The tactical side of football has always been very important to me, which is demonstrated through my success on the game Football Manager 2005. I have managed clubs including Nuneaton Borough, Chievo Verona, Kalmar FF, Doncaster and even Chelsea. Although my experience at Chievo was not a particularly positive one and led to my sacking (I’m sure you saw the headlines), I feel that I have brought success to all of the other clubs I have managed (including taking Nuneaton Borough to the Championship North in eight seasons and winning the Swedish League with Kalmar FF). My Football Manager 2005 experience has included league, cup and European experience and has allowed me to become an expert in work permits, scouting, tactics and man management.

As you can see from my attached CV, I’ve taken the opportunity to gain extra qualifications away from football including gaining a degree in geography and archaeology which I’m sure will provide many transferable skills that will assist me in running a football club. I hear Mark Viduka has a significant and considerable interest in 12th century Egyptian pottery which would be an excellent bonding point for the two of us if I were to be successful.

Away from Football Manager 2005 I have hands-on managerial experience with the Nuneaton and Bedworth St. Paul’s Under-11s football team. Under my guidance we beat off competition from 15 other clubs to win the 1999 Nuneaton and Bedworth Summer Playscheme cup (we won the final 5-4 on penalties against the host team, Nuneaton College Site. I’m sure you’ve seen this game repeated many times on Sky. Andy Grey has called this game a ‘classic’ on more than one occasion.

Relocation for the role is not a problem. I work with a guy from Middlesbrough and he says nothing but good things about the people and the place, so I’m sure my girlfriend and I would be able to settle down nicely in the area.

The real benefit for you in appointing me to this role would be my salary expectations. I’d be willing to start for around £80,000 per year which, let’s face it, is very reasonable considering some of the salaries in the world of football.

***
Career Highlights

Signing Thierry Henry, Raul and Fernando Torres as the three main strikers at Doncaster.

Taking Rushden and Diamonds to the Champions League final (unfortunately we lost to Ajax in extra time). The Rushden and Diamonds team that day included Zinidine Zidane and Ronaldinho, who are two players I’m sure the small Northamptonshire club never expected to see running out for them.

Taking charge of Nuneaton Borough (my home town club) and taking them from the Conference North to the Championship in eight years.

Middlesborough Chairman Steve Gibson posted:

Dear John

Many thanks for your recent application for the Managerial position at Middlesbrough Football Club.

You were of course the outstanding candidate but after careful consideration we decided against your appointment. Quite frankly we were of the opinion that your tenure with us would have been short lived, as your undoubted talent would result in one of the big European Clubs seeking your services.

We consider it a sign of our progress that someone of your status could consider us.

vyelkin posted:

that time Memphis Depay tried to head a football

Eric Cantonese posted:

This happened?

Troy Queef posted:

https://twitter.com/FCBarcelona/status/1420445139462406148?s=20

the sex ghost posted:

Just remembered Malky Mackay's text saying of a club secretary that he'd love 'a bounce on her falsies'

ephex posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZA-57h64kE

blue footed boobie posted:

Speaking of funny World Cup things, France going on strike in 2010 by getting into their bus and refusing to come out.