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cynic
Jan 19, 2004



I have to wear a shirt and tie. To internal meetings with my own team, all working from home. I work in tech where the normal dress code is often... casual.

My camera has been mysteriously broken for months since they gave us that diktat.

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cynic
Jan 19, 2004



teen witch posted:

If there’s one thing I do like about my job, and from what I can see from working in Sweden as a whole, is that absolutely no one gives a poo poo as to how you dress, within reason. My usual work hoodie is uh, the album cover of Mayhem’s first album on the back, and I’ve had zero issue. I don’t need to cover up my tattoos, and seeing that friends with face tattoos are not only employed but can live and support a family, it’s really loving nice.

I also, thankfully, have never had issue with my hair, no matter what style. That was a HUGE fear of mine looking for jobs here.

I quit there anyway, just working my notice. I'm going to work for a gaming-related company so I'll be back to nerd t-shirts and hoodies in no time.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



I worked for a company whose turnover is in the billions of dollars. My department (the web nerds) were responsible for 20% of company income but they HATED that (the internet is RUINING JOURNALISM, and automated advert bidding was RUINING SALES, and social media is DESTROYING EVERYTHING). To be honest new technology was gutting traditional departments, but that's just progress right? Anyway, because we were despised, they shoved us in a part of an obscure office in an corner of that office known as the swamp. Converted warehouse space, no aircon, glass roof, loving pigeons nesting up there and making GBS threads on you. Fungus grew in the corners, and there was some dude who pebbledashed the adjacent toilet cubicles at least once every few days and stank the whole place out.

Every month one of the directors would fly over just to scream at us for RUINING JOURNALISM until he was red in the face. I don't know how much he earned but easily mid-six-figures of benefits. Used to take two days out of his week to fly business class to the worlds dankest poo poo-stinkingest office, shout his shortass self almost unconscious at a bunch of random nerds, and fly back again. No idea what it ever achieved, and he got quietly shitbinned a few months after I quit anyway. I like to imagine this is how he spent his days, flying out to one of many far-flung shithole local offices and just screaming at people until he was hoarse and about to stroke out.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Dongsturm posted:

Like asking "how long has your longest employee been there" to figure out if everyone quits within a year, or "who is your critical employee and how do you cope when they are on holiday?"

Yeah, that might not work, my current company has people who have been there 40 years but they only did that by switching off the parts of their brain that feel joy. These people are to be celebrated and idolised for they have abandoned all that makes them 'them' in return for a pathetic paycheque and a weekend break in Europe (flights and accommodation only). People have died here before receiving their 2 nights in a 3* hotel in Barcelona! People with a soul quit at around 6 months - 4 years depending on their stamina and how long they need on their resume.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



NapalmWeasel posted:

That reminds me of this guy who worked in the same office as me, not sure what team he was on. He was looking at scantily-clad ladies on the work computer, in the office, in full view of *everyone*. He was not seen back in the office shortly after that.

We had two people this year conduct a 'remote sexual liaison' online using the company laptops without realising that sharing docs in chat or saving them to your documents folder actually dumps them on a shared drive that everyone has access to. They both got sacked for gross misconduct apparently 'gross' was definitely the correct term; the head of IT told me he briefly considered demagnetising, bleaching and burning the two laptops when they were returned.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Tartan Target posted:

What is DevOps? Making poo poo and doing poo poo at the same time? People keep talking about it.

Automate all the things related to software development as much as possible so people spend more time developing and less time with bullshit. Done right it'll save thousands of hours, done wrong it will overcomplicate everything and make everyone miserable.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Outrail posted:

Which square narced on them instead of being cool and giving them a heads up?

In one of my earlier posts I called this company out for making us wear suits on video calls with each other. It's narc central round here.

I handed my notice in last week lol.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



My work have setup a 'covid secure work environment' where every single person on the entire floor is forced to walk via a one-way system right in front of my desk.

Everyone has to still turn up at the same time at 8:45am on the dot then maintain social distancing on an office building with a single stairwell for 100 people. Takes about 15 minutes for the queues to die down every morning, then you get a dressing down for being late to your desk.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Just conducted an interview for a fairly high level position within my current company and the candidate kept bursting out with 'that's really stupid I've never heard of a company doing that before' and my inside voice was very much 'yeah it's true but this is us putting a positive spin on all this bullshit, you aren't going to survive a month without a heavily defeatist attitude and lack of any imagination'. Anyway she's not getting invited back because the HR rep in on the interview vetoed it and it's a narrow escape for the candidate.

6 working days left at this hellhole.

titty_baby_ posted:

I didnt want to tell her that a) i said that because, while true, I actually just hate my job and didnt want to say that and b) ill just leave this place for more money anyway whenever the time is right.

I hope I get the job.

While I was interviewing last month I got a really refreshing exchange along the lines of;

"Why do you want to leave?"
"There aren't many opportunities here for advancement, most of the staff at the level above me have been here 15 years or more"
"That's bullshit, why are you feeding me bullshit?"
"Because this is an interview and I don't want to be seen to talk poo poo about my current employer"
"Good answer, give me the truth though"
"It's stifling, depressing, old fashioned, they make us wear a suit working from home, everyone I work with is boring (but nice enough), they put us on a pay freeze, they won't give me the job title for the job I've been doing for 3 years, I'm being forced to work on a product I hate, they are significantly underpaying me for that specialist work by at least 30%"

Actually the interview was hell, 2 hours of cross examination, preceded by 3 hours of practical examination and another hour long interview, but I got the job!

When I handed my notice in my current employer had to immediately put a hold on about $1m of work and start desperately recruiting 2 people to take my place (and they will have to pay them both more than they were paying me). Definite lol.

Worth it for the experience I got, but it was still 3 1/2 years of misery. Now I'm moving to a job I should love and getting paid significantly more.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



New job trip report: it's awesome and they keep trying to give me more money and shares and poo poo.

Dumb poo poo from a previous job: I once negotiated for a pay rise. I was getting under market value and asked for about 12% I think, plus offered to take on some more responsibility. Their counteroffer was; you can have 6% but noone else in your department will get a pay rise this year. Started interviewing that evening and had a job offer in about 5 days. Think I ended up getting about 20% more in the new post, and poached 2 of their best staff too.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Volmarias posted:

Too late, I already wore them until they got holes :smugdog:

More seriously, there's SO MUCH marketing garbage that I've got a whole drawer that's just swag T-shirts at this point. There's only one or two I will even wear at this point, like this one, which actually owns in spite of itself and I love it

I worked in a position that required me to go to tons of gaming/developer trade shows and I have so many t-shirts I can't see myself ever having to buy another. A good 50% of them are not really suitable for wearing in public though; some of them are just weird and half-assed (like sonatype just putting a bunch of their java source on a t-shirt and calling it a day) or shameful (pretty much everything Blizzard for whatever reason). I also have a drawer of wireless chargers/usbs/Oracle socks (why?) that I'm probably never going to use.

I drove past my previous employers office today and the carpark was pretty full so they've obviously dragged everyone back into the office. Pretty happy with my new fully remote job with unlimited PTO and a bunch of really good benefits hell yeah.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Imagined posted:

Again, most Americans would kill for 3 weeks of paid leave per year. If you're American and currently have more than 3 weeks of paid leave per year, you're either a government employee or very fortunate. AFAIK 10 days paid leave per year is the average in the US, and that's an "average" with a whole lot of its subset having "zero".

I work for a UK company that is expanding in the USA by acquisition and they have applied the pay and conditions standards from here across every member of staff at the acquired companies. This includes minimum 3 weeks PTO (you get public holidays and christmas->new year off on top), no at-will and living wage and it was pretty fun to hear the responses some of them had. I believe the health and retirement plans were also bulked up a little to match what we get (or as close as possible).

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Wall mounted stats displays are a terrible idea, from personal experience;

Newspaper company, there was a screen in each editorial department (of which there were a lot) that displayed trending searches as a word cloud thing. This could be abused, and journalists are spiteful fucks. One dude got laid off and sat down at a computer, entered his desired phrase into the search bar and started hitting f5. The phrase "Editorname is a oval office" slowly swelled on the screen over the course of an hour until eventually said editor decided to turn it off.

SMS marketing company where I was interviewing, wall screen cycled through a bunch of stats, as well as test SMSes coming in and various other 'fun' things. I asked about it to seem interested, and as the interviewer was talking me through it a sample SMS of 'Don't work here it loving sucks' flashed up on the screen.

Random software dev company - the actual PC was in a warehouse next to the offices and there was a wire fed through from the screen in our break room into the warehouse (which was pretty much unused - chair/desk storage and stuff). One lunchtime one of the facilities dudes was in there, noticed there was a PC running with the monitor turned off, but logged in and showing some boring poo poo on a browser window, so he decided to boot up a tab to some random porn site and crank one out to low-fi DP porn from the 2000s to the amusement of dozens of people having their lunch in the adjoining room.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Ugly In The Morning posted:

I had this happen when I first got into safety. I was working at an urgent care making like 12.50 an hour, without even hitting 40 so they were paying me like 25k. One of their clients poached me away for 44 an hour with hefty overtime, so it was like a 125k raise. The urgent care said if it was about money they could give me a raise! …of a dollar an hour.

The best one I had was 'we can give you this payrise but noone else in your department gets a payrise because that's the entire budget'. Second best was 'As far as I'm concerned you've been doing that job for 3 years but we can't give you the pay for that position'.

The latter one I saw the order sheet for the work due and I'm pretty sure by quitting I cause half a million of damage over the next few years. They immediately had to halt half a dozen projects, and a good 10 or so further projects would have been hosed. I heard my head of department quit exactly two months after I left so good news :thumbsup:

edit: oh, the 'payrise but noone else' fuckery was half of what I asked for, and I got a job a week later that gave me what I wanted and a ton of benefits on top.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Batterypowered7 posted:

Only five groups? Sounds like you guys have really streamlined the process!

It was one of the things I kind of liked about working for a smallish family run business (~250 people) was I could just ask the head IT guy for a thing, he would say 'do you have a business reason for this?', and then you would get it.

The thing I didn't like that company was that they were literal cult members, only promoted people who'd been there 20+ years, and made you dress like a loving mormon even if you were WFH (my camera 'broke' they day that dictat came down from management and I continued working in slippers, hoodies and my underpants)

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Atopian posted:

"I'm sorry Bob, your numbers are the best in the department. You made ten sales this afternoon. We have to let you go."

That reminds me - stupid stuff my wife's employer did. She was the best sales person in her department by a long distance - financial sales so her numbers were EAP (estimated annual profit) and she had EAP numbers in the multiple millions. Things they did to try to stop incentivising her;

  • Capped sales targets or moved goalposts higher (multiple times)
  • Put her onto cold calls instead of incoming enquiries
  • Blocked her entirely from participating in the bonus program
  • Moved her to another very slow moving department (where she still outsold everyone)
  • Tried to promote her to a team lead position where she would earn 5x less because bonuses were based on team performance not personal performance

She eventually burnt out, gave up and retired early but holy poo poo this is a company worth billions with trillions in assets just loving pay her. We did get a whole bunch of nice holidays and other perks out of it before they stopped everything.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Cthulu Carl posted:

Lol he was talking about making us a more desirable place to work. But only in regards to the remodeling that's happened at all our offices and NOT by paying workers more.

My old work (a software company) remodelled one building, moved all the sales dudes into the nice building and moved all the (highly paid) IT dudes into a windowless room next to the garbage. This was between lockdowns, and highly paid IT dudes could easily get a remote contract working for even more money so... they did. Suddenly the company had millions of $ of orders, and zero people who could actually deliver. Last I heard the head of department had quit and most of the actual work was being outsourced.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



wilderthanmild posted:

Never take a counter offer to stay at your current job. At best you're at an employer who needed proof you were ready to leave to give you a raise and you'll need the same again in the future. At worst they will start trying to replace you ASAP and fire you once they feel ready.

Agreed, keep moving forwards never look back don't let an employer treat you like poo poo even once. They will just continue to treat you like poo poo because you'll get branded 'not part of the family and we're all family here right? That's how we get away with paying under market rates' because you dared interview somewhere else.

I've gone through a whole bunch of lovely employers (e.g. pay freeze after I delivered 3 years worth of project worth millions. asked me to tell the rest of my team they weren't getting a payrise because I had negotiated one for myself. promoted clueless family over me. list goes on) and I always end up with ~10% more working for a new employer.

My new place is ace, I've had two pay rises this year (5%, then another 20%) and my boss just told me he's put in for another one for me for November because I'm making him look good and getting poo poo done.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



BOOTY-ADE posted:

When I worked for an MSP a few years ago, this is how I got some relatively decent rigs to piece together & sell on Craigslist :lol: even scored a couple old Dell laptops that ran Windows 98 & pieced them together into a decent little retro gaming setup

The last MSP I worked for were brutally tight; we had loving 1st Gen Xeons running Mandrake they would carefully dispose of rather than let you get away with taking anything home. They wouldn't let anyone take monitors home at the start of Covid. There were only 5 chairs in the office that wouldn't obliterate your spine and people used to stick labels on them and they still got stolen. I know of at least 2 cases where greasy repulsive sales reps (who were gods and untouchable) sexually molested interns and it was thoroughly covered up because in a good Christian company you don't have any loving terrifying sexual predators plying 18 year old school grads with way too much alcohol and loving locking them in your company Audi because they won't suck you off. Hated myself for staying in that place for as long as I did (only 2 years).

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



TheSpartacus posted:

What in the gently caress.

The owners belonged to a literal cult and everyone had been either been working there for 30 years or less than 6 months nothing inbetween and it was the creepiest place I've ever worked. They made us wear suit and tie at all times (even WFH during Covid)

left_unattended posted:

As a former resident of Australia, don't knock it til you've been there. Spiders do not gently caress around.

When I lived there, the locals never, ever let a giant venomous spider get in the way of anything at all. One time someone turned up to a party with a spider bite on their head and just asked for a cold can of beer to hold against it to keep the swelling down (bite from from a golden orbweaver bite if I remember correctly - big spiders, but not one of the dangerous ones)

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



gently caress beer chat, my employer gets samples of wine from all over the world. They only use a bottle or two and leave the rest. The rest end up filling an entire warehouse. Once a year they hold an auction and give out the wine to staff, or frankly whoever the gently caress you nominate they don't really check. This year I nominated my mother because she's kind of centrally placed to distribute it to my family. I ordered 2 boxes for her, however due to a warehousing glitch they literally delivered her enough wine to blockade her out of her own house. She needed to get her whole neighbours family to bail her out and get all the boxes indoors. She called me up kind of bemused and asked why I ordered her 2 entire pallets of wine, and why her entire spare room is now just alcohol storage. Dumb, but also kind of good for once.

The wine varies from $200 bottles of fine wine to $5 bottles of toilet wine, plus anything vaguely grape based so Hungarian Tokaji, unlabelled bottles of Vermouth, 20 year old port, port only suitable for disinfectant purposes. Truly an alcoholic smorgasbord.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



goatsestretchgoals posted:

Bad memory should get caught by ECC and the server should yell about it and refuse to boot or at least drop that bank.

*checks which thread I’m in*

The “server” is running on consumer grade hardware, isn’t it?

My last company had a bunch of key customer data sitting on a consumer grade desktop on the floor of a 'server room'. The server room was an cupboard with consumer grade aircon, super staticy carpet, and a door that had swollen and wouldn't close.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



cynic posted:

My last company had a bunch of key customer data sitting on a consumer grade desktop on the floor of a 'server room'. The server room was an cupboard with consumer grade aircon, super staticy carpet, and a door that had swollen and wouldn't close.

Oh, and the 'backup' was a cheapy NAS that sat on the head of departments desk. No idea if it was encrypted or anything. At least there was an attempt made at backups though, it could have been worse. Oh this was a cyber security/MSP company, so they definitely should have known better.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



champagne posting posted:

I don't even know. I managed to receive a company laptop and access pass to the clients buildings so who even knows. I'm having a real frank conversation with the contracts agency tomorrow and it will not end well for anyone.

The company I work for seems to operate on a don't-ask don't-tell basis when we're paying contractors cross-borders and I'm pretty sure we shouldn't be doing that for numerous tax fraud reasons. One of my team we have to do all the contract stuff entirely off the books, but I'm not complaining because he's a really good guy and stealth moved to another country during covid lockdown and we just never told HR - if we did we'd lose 5 years of experience instantly due to corp policy. I know another team who has a guy who remotes in from a tropical beach somewhere when he's supposed to be in Paris, and another who remotes in from Iceland when we can only legally pay him if he's resident in Germany.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



champagne posting posted:

Update: I will not be contracting through that company. It seemed shady af and when a sales person seems shady they probably are. Long weekend for me I guess :v:

Probably best not to ignore the red flags tbh, last time I did that I ended up working for a literal cult.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



cynic posted:

Probably best not to ignore the red flags tbh, last time I did that I ended up working for a literal cult.

And honestly, not the worst place I've ever worked, although definitely the whitest most racist place I've ever worked (even the trucking company I temped at back in the 00s was more progressive). My wife is not-caucasian and my team leader used the relevant slur a few times :stare:

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



The worst place I ever worked was one where I had to deal with CSAM/child abuse cases and the entire team was deeply, deeply mentally ill and traumatized because we didn't get any mental health support at all. I've never worked at a place that was more dysfunctional and abusive and I think I managed maybe 2 months before walking out.

Looking back on it, the various coping mechanisms people had were all kind of fascinating though;

One guy used food - 12 chicken drumsticks (skin-on) for a morning snack, triple McDonalds for lunch

Another used sex, every lunch time he would go out to the local underpass and have wild sex with strangers for a solid hour (and he always reported back all the gruesome details to me since I sat next to him)

One lady was hyper-religious; prayer booklets on your chair in the morning, offers to lead the whole team in prayer every lunch time

The team leader just pretended we didn't just spend the whole day dealing with the most horrible situations possible. Couldn't tolerate filth, hair always perfect, kept multiple brushes for his suit in a draw, made real drat sure he never got a glance at any of the files we were dealing with. Definitely got my vote for most likely to shoot up the office.

Everyone else just drank very, very heavily.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



AceClown posted:

That's loving awful and I hope you're doing better now fellow goon

It was around 25 years ago, and I love my current job & company, I just post here because I've worked at so many terrible places I have a bottomless pit of lovely company anecdotes.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Cyrano4747 posted:

If a recruiter reached out to me via my company email I'd tell them to gently caress off and make it very explicit that this was why.

I have a job title in my company where I get recruiters offering me candidates via my guessable email address at the company and it's entirely 'Josh is an accomplished turkey fucker with 5 years experience' and 'Tim has extensive experience in rimming small birds' and if they even bothered to do 5 seconds research they'd know we were only interested in people with a solid grounding in fingerblasting chickens.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Aramoro posted:

You can make JIRA do what you want and to be honest it's decent.

The UI is utter trash and things like not remembering sort orders in epics is incredibly annoying. Our company has absorbed so many other companies and we've just mashed all the jiras together and we have 6 different Todo statuses and about 250 different ticket fields including some in Polish.

Some of our teams use Monday and it seems cheerful if nothing else.

We also use Miro for some remote Collab and I'm half tempted to try to just project plan using random virtual postits just like the good old days.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Oh nice our best project manager with 20 years experience was given the boot today and allowed 30 minutes to say goodbye. No handover period. This bodes well for the tens of massively complex projects currently in progress...

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Bored posted:

I’m guessing the project manager made the mistake of telling one of his superiors,”No. we can’t finish this new project within 3 days. This will take at least 6 months,” or something similar. You know, trying to make the people, who have no reasonable understanding of the work his reports do, have reasonable expectations.

That's the odd thing - the projects are routine (one a month), but require coordinating about 6 teams and tons of experience. You dump a newbie on one of these projects it will take 3 months and we'll be spotting little fuckups years from now. The PM was amazingly competent and professional, and I can't imagine what happened to make them suddenly get shitcanned in the middle of a Tuesday with no notice. I guess I'll find out via the rumor mill at some point.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Vampire Panties posted:

As someone who will probably be canned tomorrow, its extremely weird that they would fire someone on January 31st unless it was a financial decision.

Though of that, but the maths doesn't work; a completed project saves us about $150k a year and she cleared 10 last year. They could pay her whatever and still break even. A hosed up project consumes that entire saving for a whole year because multiple teams have to assign senior guys to unfuck things properly. Got to be something more fun than pure cash (also no other layoffs that I know of out of 3k people)

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



My team did a minor fuckup, fixed it in 15 minutes, but during that time someone complained directly to the CEO so now I have to spend a whole day writing a report for the CTO so he can explain to the CEO why this happened and how we will prevent it happening again.

This will delay the decommissioning of the system that got hosed up until next week. Writing an incident report on a system that was supposed to be turned off today anyway. But it won't now. Because I was writing reports on how to stop it breaking in the future.

cynic fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Feb 9, 2023

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



StrangersInTheNight posted:

Ugh this is definitely my least favorite thing about my field as well. Many of the bosses need to justify their existence and so any time a minor snafu is observed it becomes some sort of exercise in how we can all prevent it from ever happening again, and huge unwieldy policy changes are made to try and prevent simple issues that just need to be delegated.

Drives me bonkers bc it wastes so much of everyone's time and the boss's idea is usually so unhinged from the realities of production it causes a host of new problems. So often we end up back where we started because there was a reason for it to be that way, you just need to be doing your jobs and making sure every step happens, bosses!

The problem here is that someone entirely jumped the chain of command (maybe 3 levels of management) to go to the head honcho. She delegated it back down my own chain which is proper and normally fine, but in this context it's just stupid and my own management would prefer to pass back a bigass report than just say 'it wasn't a problem, the system involved will be gone by the time you read this, you get paid way, way too much to take direct complaints from some random middle manager with well known self entitlement issues'

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



bucksmash posted:


I am wondering just how many coworkers are polishing their resumes right now cause hoo boy the reaction was loud and very angry but the top brass just shrugged it off with "they'll get over it when they reconnect with their coworkers" and other comically idiotic reasons why their lovely loving decision was actually brilliant. I wanna see if they have that same dismissive attitude when a wave of resignations comes in over the next week or so, even after my director pointed out to the leaders numerous examples of companies that hosed themselves over when they rescinded full remote work, to no avail.

My company also hosed up with this - everyone hired during the pandemic was 100% WFH, but they refused to update the contracts of any older staff, meaning they ended up with most of my department being people with under a year of experience, and a total of 100 years worth of combined knowledge left the company in a 2 month period.

We spent most of 2022 working out what the gently caress was going on, and every single project is exactly 7 months behind schedule.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Cthulu Carl posted:

We had someone say they spilled water on their laptop. They brought it in and we checked it just in case it was salvageable and... Yeah, after much prodding they finally admitted it was a big glass of wine, not water.

I WFH and absolutely will crack open a beer or bottle of wine 4pm on a Friday while still working if it's been a hard week. But I work smart and have my work laptop elevated so any spills miss it.

We have infinite leave as well, and the other day my boss tried to persuade our team to work extra hours but give us time in lieu, only to realise that doesn't work when we can just take any time we like off.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



Thesaurus posted:

"Infinite leave"

We had someone take over 40 days last year, and we get poo poo done and our boss, and his boss know it. But yeah, in general this kind of PTO is a scam.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



goatface posted:

I used to know a guy who had a cop as their dealer.

I used to buy weed from a cop. I've was also neighbours with a cop who had such bad PTSD he bricked up all his windows. My sister-in-law was stalked by a cop; he used to break into her house when she was at work and jerk off in her panty drawer.

That's all my cop stories thanks for reading.

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cynic
Jan 19, 2004



I brought my Drake posted:

Can y'all stop talking about how gross the bathrooms are in great detail right next to my desk while I'm eating lunch please?

Do they have fungus? I worked in an old semi-decommissioned building and sometimes there was fungus growing out the cracks in the walls in our bathrooms. Also some guy used to pebbledash the walls with poo poo some days. We all knew who it was too.

Eventually I found a bathroom right the other side of the building where noone worked - tucked in behind the freight elevators to a machine floor that had been abandoned ten years back. The bathroom was unheated, and obviously hadn't been updated since the 90s - but at least the walls were never coated with fresh feces and fungi.

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