What can I do with a couple hand fulls of cocoa beans?

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BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Make a big pot of mole and pour it on everything

# ? Feb 2, 2021 00:24

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:02

Jothan: Dec 18, 2013

Go ask GWS if you haven�t already. If you�ve got a wet grinder, you can go about making actual chocolate, and if you�ve got alcohol, you can make some pretty good chocolate liquor. Grab a rum or something, drop in some crushed beans for a few weeks, filter it, sweeten if you wanna, let it age for a month or four, force it on your houseguests.

# ? Feb 2, 2021 00:30

Bula Vinaka: Oct 21, 2020; beach side

When chocolate first started being imported to Europe, sometimes pirates would board the shipment vessels and be very surprised to find that the cargo was nothing they were familiar with, and it looked and tasted like goat droppings.

# ? Feb 2, 2021 04:22

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

I know they are up your rear end already, and you only created this thread for validation

# ? Feb 2, 2021 06:09

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

The Alchemist posted:

I know they are up your rear end already, and you only created this thread for validation

only a 1 in 7 chance that monday is ops cheat day

# ? Feb 2, 2021 06:16

Call Your Grandma: Jan 17, 2010

Wamdoodle posted:

put thm in ur butte

# ? Feb 2, 2021 06:37

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

found this accusation at op

Steadiman posted:

Literally a person who's never had to face consequences in her life for anything, cannot comprehend it at all.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 00:54

Soulkys: Sep 7, 2008; The beast of Tanagra

gimme them beans

# ? Feb 3, 2021 01:45

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

I�m awaiting OP�s decision with bated breath

# ? Feb 3, 2021 04:43

Ventral EggSac: Dec 3, 2019

gary oldmans diary posted:

found this accusation at op

Aha! So that's where the cocoa came from!

# ? Feb 3, 2021 04:43

Bula Vinaka: Oct 21, 2020; beach side

Ventral EggSac posted:

Aha! So that's where the cocoa came from!

# ? Feb 3, 2021 04:55

Harvey Mantaco: Mar 6, 2007; Someone please help me find my keys =(

Boil em
Mash em
Shove em up your butt

# ? Feb 3, 2021 15:09

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Okay, so it looks like they're dried/roasted already.

Here are my sacks I have 30 of them. 30 sacks. No one ever asked about my sacks. LOOK AT THEM:

Here was the first beany I found:

As I've been working through sacks so far I've got this many beans:

Still taking suggestions for non-butt things to do with them. So far I've gone through....five sacks...so it would seem I have a while before I do anything with these funky beans..

# ? Feb 3, 2021 16:26

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

20 beans in 5 sacks. 25 sacks. So 500 beans :thunk:

tahts a lot of beans

# ? Feb 3, 2021 16:53

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Turn your sacks into fashionable clothing.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 16:54

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Colonel Cancer posted:

Turn your sacks into fashionable clothing.

lol if you think I haven't already made myself a messenger bag with one.

Others are getting broken down into smaller sacks for gardening this year.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 16:55

Full Metal Jackass: Jan 22, 2001; Rabid bats are welcome in my home

I anticipate these sacks are gonna end up on Etsy as part of some overpriced low quality project of which they were not designed for.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 16:57

Dog Kisser: Mar 30, 2005; But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.

They look roasted, so: make chocolate. If you have a really good blender (or a crappy blender you don't mind running for a while!) just blend those fuckres up and add some sugar and milk powder

# ? Feb 3, 2021 17:06

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Full Metal Jackass posted:

I anticipate these sacks are gonna end up on Etsy as part of some overpriced low quality project of which they were not designed for.

Never! THESE SACKS ARE MINE DON'T YOU loving TOUCH THEM WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS!!!

But seriously, they are all pretty much earmarked for use in the near-ish future. There are a few that'll be leftovers but most have a destiny.

Dog Kisser posted:

They look roasted, so: make chocolate. If you have a really good blender (or a crappy blender you don't mind running for a while!) just blend those fuckres up and add some sugar and milk powder

Is it really that easy? Because if it is I think this might be what I do. Do I have to remove the skins???

# ? Feb 3, 2021 17:08

Dog Kisser: Mar 30, 2005; But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.

Literally A Person posted:

Is it really that easy? Because if it is I think this might be what I do. Do I have to remove the skins???

Yep, pretty much. Do remove the skins (I don't know if you need to but I did even though it's a pain in the rear end) and toss them in a blender. They'll grind down to fragments, then dust, then keep grinding and it'll turn to melty goop. You can eat it like that but it'll... taste bad until you sweeten it a bit.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 18:16

Full Metal Jackass: Jan 22, 2001; Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Don't toss those skins. They are good for your garden.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 18:18

Dog Kisser: Mar 30, 2005; But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.

Full Metal Jackass posted:

Don't toss those skins. They are good for your garden.

Also yes that

# ? Feb 3, 2021 18:22

Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

Full Metal Jackass posted:

Don't toss those skins. They are good for your garden.

Don't do this if you have dogs.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 18:24

Sgt. Politeness: Sep 29, 2003; I've seen shit you people wouldn't believe. Cop cars on fire off the shoulder of I-94. I watched search lights glitter in the dark near the Ambassador Bridge. All those moments will be lost in time, like piss in the drain. Time to retch.

Should have thrown the beans dude, now the demons of 2020 will follow you into the new year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P36zBCA_no0

# ? Feb 3, 2021 18:31

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Sgt. Politeness posted:

Should have thrown the beans dude, now the demons of 2020 will follow you into the new year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P36zBCA_no0

Not again

# ? Feb 3, 2021 19:09

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Literally A Person posted:

Okay, so it looks like they're dried/roasted already.

Here are my sacks I have 30 of them. 30 sacks. No one ever asked about my sacks. LOOK AT THEM:

Here was the first beany I found:

As I've been working through sacks so far I've got this many beans:

Still taking suggestions for non-butt things to do with them. So far I've gone through....five sacks...so it would seem I have a while before I do anything with these funky beans..

A friend of mine is a spice importeur and we recently roasted some coffee beans as a lark. They're fun to nibble on if you've never had any before, they're really much more bitter than chocolate. I still say roast em, grind em, and use them for your cooking. Make a badass mole sauce now that I think about it, drat I wish I had some cocoa beans right now it's a wild world!

# ? Feb 3, 2021 19:10

Ventral EggSac: Dec 3, 2019

Do the sacks smell good? You could make a backpack. Or a bike saddle.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:08

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Ventral EggSac posted:

Do the sacks smell good? You could make a backpack. Or a bike saddle.

They smell p musty, actually. They had been stored outside covered but in the rain.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:21

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

all the ones I've used so far I've laundered.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:21

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Literally A Person posted:

lol if you think I haven't already made myself a messenger bag with one.

Others are getting broken down into smaller sacks for gardening this year.

You're thunking too small, a burlap bag makes for a perfect tunic.

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:21

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Putte them into your mouthe and spitte them forthe whilst making the noise of a machined gunne

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:25

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Congrats on your collections of beans that were too moldy for the rats to eat

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:36

Bula Vinaka: Oct 21, 2020; beach side

Dog Kisser posted:

They look roasted, so: make chocolate. If you have a really good blender (or a crappy blender you don't mind running for a while!) just blend those fuckres up and add some sugar and milk powder

I think that when the harvest the beans they put them into piles and let them ferment, and that turns them brown. So unroasted cacao beans will still look brown. (I think!)

# ? Feb 3, 2021 20:43