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pro wrestling is basically the muppet show crossed with figure skating LET ME FINISH SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP YOU DROOLING MORONS YOUR LOCAL SPORTS TEAM IS BAD the muppet show wasn't a variety show, it was a show about putting on a variety show the bulk of the show, the fun of it, was all the backstage chaos that leads to bernadette peters singing with a baby frog or whatever. it gives you context and a narrative through-line for what you're watching similarly, wrestling isn't a sports show, it's a show about putting on a sports show the bulk of the show, the fun of it, is all the backstage chaos that leads to the big sweaty bastards and smaller hairless bastards throwing each other around and doing flips. it gives you context and a narrative through-line for what you're watching and, figure skating is an athletic showcase, but it's for spectators predetermined, the moves known and named and carefully practiced, yes, but that doesn't mean you know what's going to happen, and it takes a lot to pull off convincingly and for nobody to get hurt. you're watching these people do something not everybody can do, live death-defying stunts in front of a cheering crowd. are they gonna go for the big move? are they gonna pull it off? and similarly, wrestling is an athletic showcase, but it's for spectators predetermined, the moves known and named and carefully practiced, yes, but that doesn't mean you know what's going to happen, and it takes a lot to pull off convincingly and for nobody to get hurt. you're watching these people do something not everybody can do, live death-defying stunts in front of a cheering crowd. are they gonna go for the big move? are they gonna pull it off? and the synthesis of these two is, in wrestling, they're also telling a story through the athletics it's not just "last year he stumbled on the triple axel, costing him the medal, will he attempt it again here and now?" it's "he's bravely fighting with a knee injury after his rival used a grappling hook to pull the entire stage set down on top of him last week, because this is his last shot at victory, but now that dastardly heel rival is focusing on that injured knee to gain the upper hand with the love of his life watching from home with his first child, he picks his rival up for his finisher, but- oh no! the knee! his knee gave out! can he muster the" etc. etc. you get it of course, unlike the triple axel, none of the story is real... except, some of it is real, isn't? he really does have his wife and first child watching from home. that's just a fact. they mix in these bits and pieces of real life and blur the line to draw on that emotional energy omega and ibushi really did used to be partners before omega left him behind for his solo career john cena really did return to wrestle a medically impossible amount of time after he really did tear his pectoral muscle mick foley, ric flair, shawn michaels, and the undertaker really were retiring... mostly big e really did get moved to another show for a singles career, and kofi kingston really is out with an injury, so xavier woods, phd., (seriously, he's a phd candidate and the new day have 4 degrees between them) really is left alone on the main roster for the first time without his friends... so he and e really are pleased when they briefly get to be in the ring together again during the royal rumble. and maybe people get invested in this, they like the story being told, and maybe, partly as a result, big e becomes champion the fiction of it is absurd, an impossibly heightened reality, but it's tethered to and elevated by reality, and the reality, in turn, is influenced by the fiction it is, in fact, more real than any other fictional tv show, and frankly a lot of the non-fiction ones
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Feb 2, 2021 22:04
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pro-click
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Feb 3, 2021 03:59
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Feb 3, 2021 07:29
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Wait I thought this poo poo was hyperscripted. Some of it is just these dudes improv’ing poo poo? Like homoerotic bebop, man. wrestlers usually plot out a few spots and probably know the ending, but for the most part they call it in the ring, responding to how the crowd reacts and trying to fit the story in whatever amount of time they have
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Feb 3, 2021 08:34
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wrestlers will actually sometimes be told right before they go out that the plan changed and their 15 minute match now needs to be done in 5, or that their 10 minute match now has to go for 20. you can imagine the nightmare of trying to recalibrate for this on the fly with somebody you're supposed to look like you're fighting on live tv and an audience of thousands when you consider all of the factors that go into it it's actually kind of amazing that anybody has ever done a wrestling
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Feb 3, 2021 08:35
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mallratcal posted:It was cool that he legit tried to kill Vince though. not all heroes wear capes
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Feb 3, 2021 21:43
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Feb 5, 2021 16:59
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spaceblancmange posted:The Steiner Screwdriver is a genuinely terrifying move it looks like the sitdown tombstone that broke steve austin's neck except he drops them from a suplex position like a total and complete psycho murderer how the hell do you take it safely? you can't tuck your head or roll or slap the mat, all you can do is pray that your shoulders will safely bounce your body off of his huge beefy trampoline thighs before your neck snaps
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Feb 11, 2021 10:57
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Inglourious Basterds (2009)
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Feb 12, 2021 15:20
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Feb 12, 2021 19:02
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Bogus Adventure posted:Shane is not a great wrestler, but I will 100% give him his dues for doing some of the most insane elbow drops. shane: im johnny knoxville and this is the spanish announce table *falls 3 stories onto a plastic box*
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Feb 13, 2021 23:44
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cornette's cancelled. I can't remember why exactly but it had something to do with refusing to sign wrestlers if they wouldn't have sex with his wife
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Feb 15, 2021 21:45
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Move to the music it's crazy that they just say the f-word in that song and nobody stopped them
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Feb 17, 2021 05:04
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We Got Us A Bread posted:Yeah, but Scott Hall is hosed up for other reasons. it honestly makes me more sympathetic to him because it clearly hosed him up (like vs. matthew broderick or laura bush, who don't give half a poo poo about the people they killed and definitely would kill again)
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Feb 17, 2021 09:38
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FullLeatherJacket posted:The OSW Review episodes are always fun if you want to go back and watch the old late-80s/early-90s shows but also don't entirely want to take most of the shlock seriously and instead have drunken Irishmen doing bits on top of it you're making kids cry, brah
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Feb 18, 2021 18:32
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YeahTubaMike posted:I have despised the Miz since he was on Real World, douching it up and PRETENDING to be the Miz. I have no idea how he became popular, as he has no charm whatsoever. she doesn't exactly carry him, she just seems to bring out the best in him he got a pretty entertaining heel Johnny Cage gimmick where he calls himself "The A-Lister" and calls him and his wife "the It couple" based on the fact that WWE keeps putting him in lovely direct to dvd sequels to The Marine (a job he only got because Randy Orton was fired because the actual marines were pissed because irl Orton had enlisted and was court marshaled and dishonorably discharged ) and he does hilarious stuff like tell the audience "when my hand goes up your mouth goes shut", and steal Daniel Bryan's moves and claim to be his mentor (which is technically true in that wwe's lovely reality tv show once assigned a still very green Miz as "veteran" to "rookie" Daniel Bryan who'd been tearing poo poo up around the world for over a decade and was widely regarded the best technical wrestler in the world) basically he's good at taking "you hate him" and turning it into "you love to hate him" it helps that he just looks like an upper-class frat boy psychopath also he is genuinely one of the only guys who can keep one of wwe's largely irrelevant mid-card belts interesting, because he treats the IC title like it's the greatest accomplishment in the world when he has it and will desperately scratch and claw tooth and nail to hold onto it he kinda brings the same energy to it that Ric Flair used to have, where he absolutely does not want to fight you, but once you manage to back him into a corner, you still have to beat him he's also good at every part of being a wwe wrestler other than wreslting. he's a "company man", good for talk shows, media tours, charities- he puts the effort in Cubone fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Feb 18, 2021 |
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Feb 18, 2021 19:14
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vaginite posted:Me and my wife and some of our relatives went to a local luchadore thing mostly as a bit. It was in a big gymnasium that was in very poor repair. They had a wrestler named "The American" and his gimmick was that he's kind of fat. He'd always struggle climbing the ropes and exaggeratedly wobble as he got ready to jump off onto his opponent. He'd randomly just start chanting USA USA USA in the middle of the fight and then become winded. It was pretty entertaining, more so than I was expecting. that owns
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Feb 18, 2021 19:21
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AHH F/UGH posted:didn't the miz on The Real World say that he thought black people were inherently dangerous or something
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Feb 18, 2021 19:27
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AHH F/UGH posted:Coral and the other housemates went on to teach Mizanin about black culture, such as the life of Malcolm X." well, at least it was a teaching moment
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Feb 18, 2021 19:34
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speaking of the miz and black people, xavier woods has a gaming youtube channel, and the miz keeps challenging him to street fighter when you win a wwe championship, they give you a replica to keep as a trophy, and the miz has accumulated quite a few across several years, woods keeps provoking miz into putting more of them on the line, winner-takes-all, and woods is an esports guy and basically dances circles around him miz keeps kayfabe but you can tell he starts getting genuinely upset, especially after woods wins miz's wife's divas championship https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPqM8aDQ4pY&t=585s (9:45) also a good introduction to how delightful xavier woods is first two in the series: https://youtube.com/watch?v=w76oruSg8Yk (try to ignore sandow's terrible rap gimmick, he was going through some stuff) https://youtube.com/watch?v=NcSYF1LYd1U
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Feb 18, 2021 22:33
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AHH F/UGH posted:if you genuinely believe he's getting upset, then you deserve to watch wrestling 
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Feb 19, 2021 03:54
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wrestling is more real than The Real World btw
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Feb 19, 2021 03:56
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frankenfreak posted:He never said that. https://twitter.com/JohnCena/status/1175749696578629633
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Feb 19, 2021 11:05
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oh ok
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Feb 20, 2021 00:48
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 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUp9rJbj8ME
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Feb 23, 2021 20:24
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YeahTubaMike posted:I made it 16 seconds in before I died of douche-chill frostbite. 
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Feb 24, 2021 01:29
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wait, sorry I meant REST... IN... PEEEEEAAAAAAACE 
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Feb 24, 2021 01:30
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Mar 1, 2021 10:27
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Bonzo posted:Unpopular opinion but I hate HHH and think the only reason he got anywhere is that he slept his way into the inner circle.
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Mar 1, 2021 19:58
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re:celebrities I give u Snooki  e: how the hell do I embed this https://i.imgur.com/F2AA8FY.mp4 Cubone fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Mar 1, 2021 |
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Mar 1, 2021 20:24
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Royal Updog posted:He gave me everything I ever wanted I hate that fact 
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Mar 4, 2021 05:37
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x-pac was my favorite dx member because whenever they were in the ring together he'd be standing on the ropes bouncing like a weirdo monkey boy the outlaws entrance might be ruined for me forever because of their match at Wrestlemania 30 where it was interrupted by The Shield looking like the three baddest motherfuckers on the planet https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4glf59 whenever a friend who's a lapsed fan asked me what's up with the shield I just showed them this match and then I'd start crying and shout "they were brothers!!!  "
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Mar 4, 2021 06:01
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"the one" kip ""bad 'mr.' rear end" billy 'bob' gunn"" sopp is a fine talent, he just had a lower ceiling than wwe realized I always think of the 2001 royal rumble the best royal rumble but there's just this weird niggling detail when you get to the final four and it's Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Kane, and... Billy Gunn  standing there, slightly too tall in his booty shorts, with his weird square dad rock aura, looking positively divorced and he doesn't belong there. he just doesn't. he's not that guy. that's all it is
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Mar 4, 2021 07:06
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you can see Shaq doing the little tap wrestlers do to let each other know they're ok just before the camera cuts away :3
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Mar 6, 2021 18:31
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Rarity posted:Last week he said his Dad had a Nigerian accent and briefly used it as an example and then this week happened I can already hear apollo's podcast appearance describing how vince saw he could do an accent and told him to do it from now on and apollo was like "but my character has never had an accent before" and vince was like "hahaha trust me pal I've been doing this a lot longer than you, you'll get way more over as a heel with that accent than without it"
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Mar 6, 2021 20:47
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bradzilla posted:https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/595841839295365125/818345530412367892/honkhonk.mp4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLZ8o5rzhyk
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Mar 9, 2021 20:56
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Mulaney Power Move posted:what does "drop a dime" mean in this context, fish man? does that ever mean anything other than snitch? Cubone fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Mar 12, 2021 |
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Mar 12, 2021 02:56
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Shaman Tank Spec posted:I can believe that. Gavok posted:I think the story was that someone was on a plane and was going to watch a comedy movie and Vince was like, "Watch Santino matches!"
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Mar 12, 2021 17:22
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it's gonna be impossible for me to find this again because it was just something that came across my timeline ages ago, but there was a clip from a podcast or streaming show where some dudes were watching a wrassle, and a wrestler did a tope con hilo  (not this particular one, but this is what a tope con hilo looks like) and one of the dudes was like "did his cock flick the top rope?" and the other dudes were like "nah no way you're being silly" then they rewound the video and watched in slow motion and yes his dick bulge and only his dick bulge flicked the top rope when he jumped over and you could see them both jiggle for a couple frames
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Mar 15, 2021 18:03
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it was cedric alexander at the GRR can't find wherever I first saw it but apparently it made the rounds so it might have hit botchamania too
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Mar 15, 2021 19:39
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