PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Scarodactyl posted:

Like everybody else I love this guy.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2021 19:32

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:10

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

sweeperbravo posted:

two dicks

# ¿ Feb 15, 2021 23:38

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

InediblePenguin posted:

excuse me, what's the deal with the lightbulb

have a sip

# ¿ Feb 16, 2021 00:41

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Cartoon Man posted:

around the corner
fudge is made

# ¿ Feb 27, 2021 04:41

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Mymla posted:

I don't understand why anyone does that even at home.

Basically every sandwich in Japan is on completely flavorless sweet white bread (even compared to like, Wonderbread standards) with the crusts cut off. I have never been able to find out why cutting the crusts off became The Thing To Do there.

There is a snack made by frying the crusts and coating them in sugar, but mostly they're just thrown out.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2021 17:25

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Nameless Pete posted:

I eat vegetarian a lot, but it's mostly driven by my unwillingness to wash an additional cutting board.

Why would you need to do that? If everything's being stewed or something you don't have to care, if it isn't then just cut the meat after you've finished the vegetables. Easy.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2021 02:12

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Data Graham posted:

1 drop onion juice? poo poo, don�t go overboard

Preferable to the other one drop rule I know of.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2021 07:26

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

CaptainSarcastic posted:

The last time I saw my doctor I mentioned I was concerned about getting high blood pressure and was watching my sodium intake, and he was like "Meh, I wouldn't worry about salt."

I still haven't decided if he just wants me dead or if maybe sodium really just isn't that big a concern.

Sodium is only an issue for people with specific medical conditions. If you don't have those, you'd have to eat truly stupefying amounts of salt for it to cause issues.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 04:37

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Fantastic Foreskin posted:

Just eat the good things, but in non-american portion sizes.

Has anyone ever tried to compare portion sizes with data? I'd always heard American portion sizes were huge, then I lived abroad and traveled a bunch and restaurant portions seem pretty much the same everywhere to me. Drink sizes are genuinely massive in the US though.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 19:53

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Frozen yogurt used to suck but tbh I can't tell the difference between the modern stuff and actual ice cream.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 20:03

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

The real stereotype I find wrong is that american food is nastier or fattier or whatever, as if no one outside of the US ever eats a giant pile of mayo

The US doesn't even make a top ten on mayo loving nations.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 21:13

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

bob dobbs is dead posted:

the us is special with regards to putting sugar on everything

I hope you specifically saying this was the joke because it is a good one

Elviscat posted:

I mean, not compared to SK.

Japan's also pretty high level with sugar on everything but South Korea is not just out of its league but playing an entirely different sport.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 22:23

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

zedprime posted:

Korra gunning hard for that large and in charge demographic

Shockingly the incidence of diabetes graph in SK looks a lot like the global temperature chart.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 22:42

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Cartoon Man posted:

giant tenderloins are great

# ¿ Mar 22, 2021 23:40

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Cartoon Man posted:

Lol, I thought that was just a restaurant being silly, that�s actually a thing?

It's a state fair classic. Though I've never seen one as big as in that pic. They're usually huge but possible to eat as a sandwich.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2021 03:03

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

AlbieQuirky posted:

Interested to know what you�re describing with this. Cornmeal mush/grits (which is basically polenta) or creamed corn?

Also curious, I can't say I've ever seen anything I'd describe as "mushy corn". I guess the corn you get in lovely TV dinners has kind of a weird mushy texture? But that's not a dish, it's just lovely corn.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2021 22:04

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Also mushy peas are fine. Nothing exciting because, you know, they're peas. But they're fine.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2021 22:19

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

MariusLecter posted:

What mercury concoctions won't do is make you immortal.
https://www.bbc.com/culture/article...magic%20potion.

One of the funniest things in Chinese history is the sheer number of emperors who killed themselves with mercury-based immortality potions. Dozens and dozens of them. They could not stop.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2021 06:39

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Facebook Aunt posted:

A canny emperor would have them try the immortality potion on a mouse first.

A canny emperor would think about the 40 previous emperors who drank the immortality potions but are not, in fact, still alive and being emperors.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2021 07:21

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Schubalts posted:

What is with the Eurogoons acting like a table or teaspoon of sugar makes an entire loaf of bread inedibly sweet? The majority of it is meant to be consumed by the yeast, anyway, to help it rise faster. The only breads with an actual large amount of taste influencing sugar are actual sweet breads, same as everywhere else. Even that Hostess (maker of Twinkies) loaf is only 1gram of sugar per slice.

It's pretty weird. But it's easy to get strange impressions when you don't spend any time in a place. A lot of Europeans also think Kraft singles are the only cheese in the US or Hershey's is the only chocolate, too. Equivalent to if an American genuinely thinks UK food is just boiled meat or whatever. The only difference is it seems like that is usually a joke, while Europeans seem to really believe the US doesn't have bakeries or whatever.

One of the strangest ones is I guess a lot of Brits and Australians think they're the only places in the world with kettles?

Grand Fromage has a new favorite as of 19:11 on Apr 11, 2021

# ¿ Apr 11, 2021 19:09

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

axolotl farmer posted:

There's many kinds of Swedish rye bread and rye blends that are sweetened with molasses and often flavored with aniseed and fennel. It's pretty great.

There are some supermarket breads that are very sweet, and the Norwegians are super smug about "that terrible sweet Swedish bread".

To be clear the generic Wonderbread poo poo in the US is bad. But any grocery store has like, fifty types of packaged bread and almost always has an in-house bakery that produces fresh stuff. Also they often sell parbaked loaves that you can bring home and toss in the oven for 15 minutes to finish, those are usually pretty good.

If you want a real trip look up Korean garlic bread.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2021 19:31

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Code Jockey posted:

Knowing what I know of Korean cuisine, I am imagining an extremely sweet loaf of garlic bread with a drizzle of sugar syrup on top, yeah?

I might, honestly

Like a centimeter thick glaze of honey. Korean friends straight up refused to believe garlic bread isn't supposed to be sweet.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2021 20:03

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Antigravitas posted:

Anyway, I'm a breadstremist. This is my idol: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernd_das_Brot

If you're into bread why idolize a guy who burned the bread?

# ¿ Apr 11, 2021 22:17

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

KataraniSword posted:

If Michael was the kind of Italians this thread was just discussing, he would have thrown a right hook as soon as you suggest gravy on pasta.

"Gravy" is a New York area term for Italian-American tomato sauce. https://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2014/04/sunday-gravy/

# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 19:19

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

gschmidl posted:

Horse is good, donkey is better.

Donkey is legit one of the best meats. I haven't liked horse much when I've tried it.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2021 20:49

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

FreudianSlippers posted:

How's kangaroo?

Just discovered that my regular supermarket carries Kangaroo meat (frozen but still) and I'm seriously considering trying it.

It's decent. I wouldn't say it's anything special but it's tasty.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2021 21:26

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Danger - Octopus! posted:

I get irrationally irritated about cotton candy on cocktails because it's so overtly just Instagram bait.

How does it not melt away in five seconds? I've seen cotton candy touch liquids, it doesn't just hang around.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2021 23:11

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Otana posted:

I had it once and was incredibly underwhelmed. It was definitely creamy, but absolutely tasteless and just sort of something I ate to get it out of the way and be polite. I'd eat it again without complaint, but I wouldn't order it.

Yeah, it's just kind of a nothing food. The thing that most misses the reputation is fugu. Tilapia is complex and full flavored by comparison. Literally zero reason to ever eat that poo poo.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2021 21:09

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

SlothfulCobra posted:

I thought the poison was supposed to have an interesting tingle to it. Or maybe poison is an acquired taste?

No tingle, no nothing. Total waste of time.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2021 00:25

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Schubalts posted:

Fugu isn't a "big" thing because it tastes good or anything, it's just because it will kill you if prepared wrong. It's purely for rich idiots who want to feel like ~daredevils~.

When I had it, it was given to us by Korean bosses and after we started eating, they laughed and told us it was blowfish and we could've died. Good times. Nobody died, they just wasted their money buying us bad fish.

This was also the lunch where they tried to gross out the foreigners by ordering sannakji, but we all just ate and liked it while they looked at us like we were psychos and wouldn't touch it.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2021 00:36

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

My high school had chick-fil-a sandwiches once a week, that was the only day I ate school food. Looking back it's kind of bizarre since as far as I know there were no actual chick-fil-a locations in town until like a decade later. I'd never heard of it or seen it anywhere else.

# ¿ May 5, 2021 19:54

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Pastry of the Year posted:

# ¿ May 10, 2021 20:45

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

I should try turtle again. I had turtle soup as a kid and it was so repulsive I've never tried again.

# ¿ May 20, 2021 22:01

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

SlothfulCobra posted:

I dunno how well it works though. I've never really managed to have artificial crab meat that tastes like real crab.

There's fake crab in Korea and Japan that is really loving hard to tell from real crab. It's great. Sadly I've never found any of that in the US, but I have found this locally:

It's the best I've had, worth a try. It's noticeably not real crab but it's surprisingly close and waaay better than any other artificial crab I've had here.

# ¿ May 20, 2021 22:08

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

The Bloop posted:

We (people itt) know all that you goober

Anyone who paid attention in school understands metric is just not used in daily life for most things because politics

Europeans thinking the US doesn't use metric will never stop being funny.

# ¿ May 23, 2021 22:40

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

baw posted:

not sure if this counts, but it is a menu from a diner

Press F for extra cheese

# ¿ May 30, 2021 23:34

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Sodium Chloride posted:

That amount of sugar in [insert food here] is upsetting.

korea.txt

# ¿ May 31, 2021 23:09

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Brawnfire posted:

I think it's a flat fried square of chicken breast with pizza toppings.

It is as long as "pizza toppings" to you is: ketchup, fake cheese, corn, and pineapple.

I tried one. I regretted it.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2021 03:29

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

LifeSunDeath posted:

is there a mixed drink/shot called "cum in a hottub?" if not there should be.

Yes

# ¿ Jun 6, 2021 04:57

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:10

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Brawnfire posted:

Spain's rations aren't exactly generous

The US and Spanish ones are single meals, the other ones all look like 24 hour rations.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2021 22:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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