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I've been a member here for about 16 years now. My last post was five years ago. I rarely post, however.... I try to follow the old adage of LURK MOAR. I prefer to remain in the darkness, behind the curtain,... like some creepy, pervy voyeur...watching all that goes on here but rarely participating. The reason for this is simple, though... I fear having my rear end completely handed to me. You all are an extremely frightening bunch. You're masters of insults, kings of laying waste to someone's topics, professionals in newbie bashing.... it's all quite traumatic. So I stay away. Even though I know a lot of the history, and I know the types of personalities here, and yes, even though I am protected with stairs in my house (is that even still a thing?), I know the rules.... I was told to ask myself "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?". I figured, well, yes...perhaps this may be interesting to a few, but a lot of you all appear to be harsh judges.....I fear for my sensitive, emotional feelings. That if I make ANY new post or topic, extreme hellfire will rain down on me in the form of words and becoming the forum's plaything at least until the mods decide it's been played with as a toy enough to finally be put out of its misery and move it to the Toxic Waste Dump. In fact, this is probably where you're reading this thread right now. How can I change? How can I become a member of that inner group? How can I be accepted? What does it take to become a goon and admired, accepted, and maybe even LIKED among other fellow goons? I mean, I've read the rules... I've lurked tons (16 years)..... I've only made 18 posts (now 19 with this topic) in that time..... If anyone is a lurker, it's me, trust me. And yet, I still have no idea how to be a goon or what it takes to become one. Teach me! I'm a willing student. I want to become one. I'm willing to go through any initiation you might have. You want I should be a pledge, of sorts? Teach me the goon ways. Tell me the goon secrets. Does anything involve a live chicken?
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Mar 26, 2021 19:58
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Just post lol. Probably about eating rear end or something idk.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:00
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Gbs v. 1.0 is dead  If you get probated or banned someone will whine in QCS on your behalf
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Mar 26, 2021 20:01
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SAN posted:The reason for this is simple, though... I fear having my rear end completely handed to me. You all are an extremely frightening bunch. You're masters of insults, kings of laying waste to someone's topics, professionals in newbie bashing.... it's all quite traumatic. If you are being serious here, then you should really consider why the hell you care what strangers on the internet think about you.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:02
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someone get this dude an avatar
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Mar 26, 2021 20:04
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You can lay waste to my rear end if you want to OP 
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Mar 26, 2021 20:04
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tl;dr
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Mar 26, 2021 20:04
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Bro do you tug or eat rear end, cause that's my gimmick and I will loving destroy you
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Mar 26, 2021 20:09
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how do you feel about reddit op
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Mar 26, 2021 20:10
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Mooey Cow posted:You can lay waste to my rear end if you want to OP I think I'm in love.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:10
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this is the worst post and worst op i've ever seen
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Mar 26, 2021 20:13
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oh wait, my monitor wasn't on just post
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Mar 26, 2021 20:13
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Treecko posted:Just post lol. Probably about eating rear end or something idk. Yes, I've noticed already references to "rear end" in about three different replies in here so far, it seems to be the general theme. DeadFatDuckFat posted:If you are being serious here, then you should really consider why the hell you care what strangers on the internet think about you. The internet is all I have. I lead a very pathetic, sad life. I have no real life friends... I'm a hermit, shut in, with severe agoraphobia, so I rarely go outside. I rarely leave my room, actually. So... yeah, most of my "friends" are online. Methanar posted:how do you feel about reddit op I have an account there, but that's just to make it easier to browse and keep track of the forums I've saved. I don't really post that much on it, I don't find it to be overly interesting or funny. Some reddit groups are interesting, ...but not most of them. No multi-quote feature here.... to the poster who said "tl:dr" you might as well put me on ignore right now (if I don't get banned, that is), because you'll be experiencing that a lot from me. I'm a writer, so I tend to be wordy.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:14
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im going to help desensitize you op, please know i love you and care about you and you are cherished and your feelings are valid and if we were together i would kiss you on the mouth (consensually) and run my fingers through your hair while whispering sweet nothings about how good a poster you are. With all that out in the open where we can all see it... GET hosed OP WTF IS THIS GARBAGE THREAD SUCH poo poo gently caress THIS GUY EAT poo poo NERD U suck and i fukked ur mom lol fuckin pwnd lmao git rekd gas thread, ban op trial by fire op, if you can withstand that you can do anything, SA is your oyster. Make a thread about poo-poo, pee-pee, or cum and youre almost guaranteed a 3-page thread that lasts a day or two
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Mar 26, 2021 20:14
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16 years, wasted
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Mar 26, 2021 20:15
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the best time to start posting was 16 years ago. the second best time is now.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:16
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progress to goondom is usually slowed by one of the five hindrances. if you learn about them and how to avoid or overcome them you will quickly start to make progress. i will tell you about the five hindrances, but first you have to come closer to me so you can hear them.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:16
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Bad Purchase posted:this is the worst post and worst op i've ever seen Well, I suppose I can go away at least knowing I've set a new record in SA history. HOMO ERECTUS posted:im going to help desensitize you op, please know i love you and care about you and you are cherished and your feelings are valid and if we were together i would kiss you on the mouth (consensually) and run my fingers through your hair while whispering sweet nothings about how good a poster you are. With all that out in the open where we can all see it... Now see, this is helpful, thank you...... by all means, trial by fire then. Whip me. Flail me. Make me your slave. Put me through the gauntlet, run me ragged. MOLD ME INTO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE. I am a willing student. Give me the worst, if it will help me learn. You are my new favorite poster.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:18
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you're wrecking your vintage post/day ratio. Just keep editting the same post with your responses.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:19
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Have you tried farting, OP? That usually relaxes a room.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:20
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the best pro tip i can offer is that you must respond to even the most obvious trolls, it generates wonderful content
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Mar 26, 2021 20:21
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Just order some taco bell and go to the fast food subforum to talk about it.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:21
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boost your confidence by imagining that every poster is naked
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Mar 26, 2021 20:21
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Oh, there is multi quote here, I just didn't see it....GABA ghoul posted:progress to goondom is usually slowed by one of the five hindrances. if you learn about them and how to avoid or overcome them you will quickly start to make progress. i will tell you about the five hindrances, but first you have to come closer to me so you can hear them. Picture me coming closer in your mind, for I would do it providing I had the actual means.... yes.... yessss.... whisper them in my ear, GABA ghoul Methanar posted:you're wrecking your vintage post/day ratio. Just keep editting the same post with your responses. Do people.......do that? Posters do that regularly? I wouldn't have ever thought of doing that had you not mentioned it right now.... is the post/day ratio a coveted thing here or something?
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Mar 26, 2021 20:22
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lol
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Mar 26, 2021 20:22
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got op an av and gangtag, ur one of us now kid. Keep it up bucko and someday youll be running around threads makin fart jokes with the best of us
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Mar 26, 2021 20:23
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Post, and then when you make a bad post somebody will yell at you. At that point you dig in your loving heels and you refuse to give a millimeter. Draw them into an argument and use every dirty trick in the book to frustrate and confuse them. Just remember they'll be trying to do the same thing to you. Hit them hard and fast with multiple posts and make it clear to them and any onlooker that you don't actually care, you're just enjoying watching them get mad.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:23
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you are a friend to all posters and forums. all posters and forums are a friend to you. become a posting titan.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:24
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SAN posted:I know the rules.... I was told to ask myself "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?". I figured, well, yes...perhaps this may be interesting to a few, but a lot of you all appear to be harsh judges..... So why the hell didn't you do it before making THIS post, hmmmm? I mean god!
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Mar 26, 2021 20:25
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If you look through any of the threads where goons post pictures of themselves it will cure you of any intimidation hth!
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Mar 26, 2021 20:26
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for real though there is no such as thing as what you appear to imagine and desire. if you perceive some kind of secret cabal or hive mind this is a probably because you lack social skills or something. the only thing goons truly have in common is that they paid to register on the forums. you will not find someone strong and powerful who will make you his bitch. this is just a place for posting, if you didn't come to post, why did you come here
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Mar 26, 2021 20:26
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HORSE-SLAUGHTERER posted:for real though there is no such as thing as what you appear to imagine and desire. if you perceive some kind of secret cabal or hive mind this is a probably because you lack social skills or something. the only thing goons truly have in common is that they paid to register on the forums. you will not find someone strong and powerful who will make you his bitch. this is just a place for posting, if you didn't come to post, why did you come here dont listen to this one op, we exclude them from the secret cabal for a reason
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Mar 26, 2021 20:27
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50% of posters are all the same guy multiboxing and the other 50% are feds
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Mar 26, 2021 20:28
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Das Boo posted:Have you tried farting, OP? That usually relaxes a room. Yessss... yessss, now this is good advice. blatman posted:the best pro tip i can offer is that you must respond to even the most obvious trolls, it generates wonderful content I was a moderator on another board for seven or so years (I won't say which one here, although it's in my profile) so I know trolls when I see them, are they usually playthings here? I can't disagree with your logic, it would generate a great deal of entertainment, at least until the troll is vanquished forever by the powers that be. Fartington Butts posted:Just order some taco bell and go to the fast food subforum to talk about it. Well poo poo, I do the first part of that step drat near every day already. That sounds easy. Thank you for sharing this knowledge with me, mr Fartington Butts. Bad Purchase posted:boost your confidence by imagining that every poster is naked Too late. Far too late. In other news... how YOU doin?
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Mar 26, 2021 20:28
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HORSE-SLAUGHTERER posted:you will not find someone strong and powerful who will make you his bitch. Certainly not anymore. *sighs wistfully*
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Mar 26, 2021 20:29
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SAN posted:I was a moderator on another board for seven or so years (I won't say which one here, although it's in my profile) so I know trolls when I see them, are they usually playthings here? I can't disagree with your logic, it would generate a great deal of entertainment, at least until the troll is vanquished forever by the powers that be. I have no idea, I can't tell when someone is trolling until someone else points it out
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Mar 26, 2021 20:29
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I am strong and powerful, but this means my muscly fingers are too thick for my keoboard so I make typos. Please op find me a keyboard for my chodefingers
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Mar 26, 2021 20:31
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Bad Purchase posted:boost your confidence by imagining that every poster is naked But we're already naked. ...Aren't we?
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Mar 26, 2021 20:31
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SAN posted:"Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?" Like 95% of posts on SA don't fit this criteria in fact most posts are poo poo.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:33
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SidneyIsTheKiller posted:But we're already naked. I haven't worn pants since covid became a thing
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Mar 26, 2021 20:34
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