Novel Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Novel Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

«‹›3 »

cruft

ABSTRACT

There is currently a long ship stuck in the Suez canal. Normally ships this long do not have a problem with the Suez canal, but in this case, the wind blew the long ship until, suddenly, and (we assume) alarmingly to the ship's crew, the long ship became a wide ship. Unfortunately, the Suez canal is not as wide as the now wide ship. Therefore, the ship is stuck.

In This Thread, we propose several novel methods for dealing this this problem, with the hope that one or more proves helpful in the unsticking of the ship.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:21

cruft

Idea: rotate the ship 90 degrees (either clockwise or counter-clockwise).

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:13

cruft

The ship could be airlifted out of the canal with a sufficiently large* helicopter.

* Approximately as large as Rhode Island

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:14

cruft

Given the current rate of sea level rise, we could just wait for the water level to rise until the canal is as wide as the ship. It should only take 30-60 years.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:15

Heather Papps: hello friend

ping pong balls. google donald duck ping pong balls before you scoff

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:17

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

have they thought about converting it into one of those sexy rotating beds from the 70s

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:18

Heather Papps: hello friend

sk posted:

have they thought about converting it into one of those sexy rotating beds from the 70s

i take my idea back

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:27

Manifisto

make the canal water freezing cold

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:34

Heather Papps: hello friend

is the long ship edible?

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:39

nut

what if it wants to be there

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:43

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

nut posted:

what if it wants to be there

that's great but it needs to share the canal with the rest of the boats imo

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:46

nut

sk posted:

that's great but it needs to share the canal with the rest of the boats imo

imo the markets have said that this ship is king ship

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:53

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

nut posted:

imo the markets have said that this ship is king ship

king ship of gently caress mountain

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:56

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Tell the ship to knock it off and go home, you're drunk!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 22:02

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Has anyone just tried talking to the ship and asking what it's feelings are?

I thought not. If you ask me we are the real ships blocking the Suez canal :colbert:

# ? Mar 26, 2021 22:11

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

lubricating oil spill

# ? Mar 26, 2021 22:34

Jaguars!

"Hello Durex, I'd like to order 2 million litres of lube"

"His or Hers?"

"poo poo, I forgot to ask"

# ? Mar 26, 2021 22:55

cruft

This is why it's so important to only put ships in your canal if they have a flared base.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 23:25

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Jerk the ship off so it goes limp after and then you can unstuck your dinghy

# ? Mar 26, 2021 23:40

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Jerk the ship off so it goes limp after and then you can unstuck your dinghy

lmbo

# ? Mar 27, 2021 02:55

Robot Made of Meat

So, the ship got stuck because it turned in the canal, right?

Sooooo . . .

Why not simply turn the canal so that the boat fits again?

This is NOT rocket science, people.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Mar 27, 2021 03:10

Manifisto

Robot Made of Meat posted:

So, the ship got stuck because it turned in the canal, right?

Sooooo . . .

Why not simply turn the canal so that the boat fits again?

This is NOT rocket science, people.

attach the ship to rockets and lift it up out of the canal imo

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 27, 2021 04:08

biosterous

casually rotating a wide ship with my mind, nbd

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Mar 27, 2021 04:08

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

biosterous posted:

casually rotating a wide ship with my mind, nbd

Yoda:

# ? Mar 27, 2021 04:11

Ventral EggSac

Slap it with the arm we found in the woods over the summer

# ? Mar 27, 2021 04:22

Sing Along: by Athanatos

I've been reading some fascinating news reports on Twitter about what is happening with the boat, and I think that the thread needs to see this. Clearly, comprehending the problem is the first step towards ideating a solution:

https://twitter.com/forestofmyth/status/1375178837995225094

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Mar 27, 2021 04:24

FutonForensic

just leave it. gently caress it

# ? Mar 27, 2021 05:15

cruft

FutonForensic posted:

just leave it. gently caress it

We can't do both, pick one!

# ? Mar 27, 2021 05:17

biosterous

have they tried turning it off

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Mar 27, 2021 05:31

Finger Prince

A whole lot of lube. Just like, a poo poo ton of lube.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 05:33

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Hire those scrap metal thieves that steal entire bridges to come remove it overnight.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 05:58

RepeatingMeme: this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

Idea: godzilla could probably move that bad boy ez-pz, just keep nuking the canal until some sort of kaiju appears to help us move it a little bit

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:06

RepeatingMeme: this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

Has anyone considered just building a fuckin dope rear end ramp off the side of that baby and the other boats could do sweet jetski tricks as the get mad air jumpin it?

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:07

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Poke it with a long broom.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:27

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Tow an iceberg into the canal so it gets scared and runs away

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:29

Escape From Noise

Cover up the Suez Canal, act like the whole thing never happened, and move on with our lives.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:35

Escape From Noise

Break down the one large boat into several smaller, more nimble boats.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:35

FluffieDuckie

At this point we should just build a new canal

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:40

The Walrus Cancer: If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars. 'Cause we'd be trees.

We'll take the canal and push it somewhere else.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:21

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

One man's stuck ship is another man's cool new canal bridge

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Novel Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

«‹›3 »