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Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


*raises hand*

Captain I just poo poo my pants do I still gotta go???

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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Does anyone else have a boner right now, or am I just horny?

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


To the battle, I mean. I don't gotta poo poo anymore

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

*Spends all 30 years of life practicing and physically preparing for combat. Save every spare pence and shilling to buy well crafted arms and armour.*

*Finally called to war*

*Dies from cholera before ever fighting*

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier




Revins posted:

To the battle, I mean. I don't gotta poo poo anymore

look, I already conscripted you, now get out there and die for your-

ugh

go put on some fresh pants, THEN get out there and fight for your king

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



is it just me or have our phalanxes been really gay lately

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

If you know of a better way to build trust among companions than a group jerk I'd love to hear it

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



i spent the whole day building makeshift rafts and i didn't even realize we're not crossing any water

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





What if we just go early Christmas morning and kill them all in their sleep?

teardrop
Dec 20, 2004



Hey guys since we all got cholera it would be a good idea to cut the seats out of our pants so we donít have to pull them back up mid battle

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020

bird/bird


I know. A sword and a shield is the tried and tested way to go, we all know it. But I'm going to try something new for this one, check it out; two swords!
Two swords you guys!! This is going to be awesome!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon


No tail armor, verisimilitude instantly shattered

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I'll let you have my sword if you let me have your shield! Two shields is how we will win this battle.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Colonel Cancer posted:

No tail armor, verisimilitude instantly shattered

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier




Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

I know. A sword and a shield is the tried and tested way to go, we all know it. But I'm going to try something new for this one, check it out; two swords!
Two swords you guys!! This is going to be awesome!

It's not gonna stop you from taking an arrow to the arm, we've been over this!

also, what am I supposed to do with your shield now? I can't just send it back

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Having a loud phone conversation over the din of battle with a potential client.

"What? Yeah, I'm a trader. Big time trader. No I've been a trader from the start but I'm also a warrior on the weekends. Hold on a second will you some of the other warriors here are approaching me with their weapons drawn."

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





Nice to meet you, my name is

+-----------------+
| - Enter Name: - |
+-----------------+
| > ____________ |
|>A B C D E F G H |
| I J K L M N O P |
| Q R S T U V W X |
| Y Z 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
| 6 7 8 9 . _ - ' |
+-----------------+
| [ RESET ] [ OK ]|
+-----------------+

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

Bad Purchase posted:

Nice to meet you, my name is

+-----------------+
| - Enter Name: - |
+-----------------+
| > ____________ |
|>A B C D E F G H |
| I J K L M N O P |
| Q R S T U V W X |
| Y Z 0 1 2 3 4 5 |
| 6 7 8 9 . _ - ' |
+-----------------+
| [ RESET ] [ OK ]|
+-----------------+


Sukadik Fukman [OK]

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

May we cum together in Valhalla, brothers!!!

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Wait, this is a battle?!? I thought you said this was gonna be an orgy!!!

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012

Well, there goes our grant money.





*Covers myself in poo poo*

WHO'S READY TO GO DOWN TO BROWN TOWN!

One in the Bum
Apr 25, 2014



Hair Elf

*finds some cool looking poo poo in the BUDK catalog*
*is ready to kill foreigners*

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

*is being flogged for saying "Warriors, come out to play-ay" one too many times.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


Usually Id say something like,

"Hey, as long as you give it your best youre a winner".

But, in this case, we are about to engage in mortal combat. As such, your best may not be good enough to keep you alive. There is a very high chance you will die either by mistake or on purpose. Notwithstanding, I suggest giving it your all. You wouldnt want a piece of shrapnel blasting through your prefrontal cortex while youre giving 90%. It would be embarassing for you.

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

ya ever wonder what our wives are doing back home?

Sekenr
Dec 12, 2013






you have my arseax!

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




lot of asterisks itt

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020

bird/bird


Rags to Liches posted:

It's not gonna stop you from taking an arrow to the arm, we've been over this!

also, what am I supposed to do with your shield now? I can't just send it back

i think you should have it repaited with the heraldry of Sir Killjoy of Knavington, ugh this is why we never win any battles

Sormus
Jul 24, 2007

PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users


"When we get home from here I'm going to start my own farm and marry ny high school sweetheart. Also my name is Red Schirt."

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015



Should have started putting my armour on two and a half hours ago, whoops - seems I'm gonna have to sit this one out. Someone take my standard and ride around at the back so it looks like I turned up.

Captain_Indigo
Jul 29, 2007

Smooth soft red velvety lungs.

I'm the sombre stone epitaph erected in the centre of a small village that didn't lose many people in the war.
"Mustard gas!...Huh, they want to see bad gas, they should see my uncle after dinner!" - Last words of Colonel Sternwood. Died from mustard gas poisoning and making GBS threads himself.

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020

bird/bird


Captain_Indigo posted:

I'm the sombre stone epitaph erected in the centre of a small village that didn't lose many people in the war.
"Mustard gas!...Huh, they want to see bad gas, they should see my uncle after dinner!" - Last words of Colonel Sternwood. Died from mustard gas poisoning and making GBS threads himself.

an honourable death *sheds single warrior tear*

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

When they said "come on a shield" I don't think that's what they meant, Sven.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

lot of asterisks itt

I'm sure an Obelix will show up soon

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Colonel Cancer posted:

I'll let you have my sword if you let me have your shield! Two shields is how we will win this battle.

Iím ready

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK



Why battle when we could have any orgy instead?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




Ok, now normally you guys KNOW I would be ALL ABOUT walking through miles of mud only to be killed without taking any actions alongside the rest of you for no loving reason, but this dude over here stole my pants and then poo poo in them, and now as you can see, I got no pants to wear!
I'm not marching from here to god knows where to get shot or stabbed or whatever with my dick hanging out like an idiot. I can do that back home.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Where weíre going, we donít need pants.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Some warriors charge into battle butt naked, to strike fear into their foes! But I suppose with your, ahem, equipment, it probably won't work. Maybe we can scrounge up a nice codpiece?

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Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK



Colonel Cancer posted:

Some warriors charge into battle butt naked, to strike fear into their foes! But I suppose with your, ahem, equipment, it probably won't work. Maybe we can scrounge up a nice codpiece?

"A Shameful dong will only bring defeat."
-Sun Tzu

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