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I vote for briefly show them off only. Also, there's probably a 🍌joke in there somewhere.
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May 2, 2021 23:59
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Eh, just briefly show them off. Just stumbled on this thread last night. Because I apparently have the humor of a middle schooler, I burst out laughing at the 69 joke. Top tier writing, would read again.
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May 3, 2021 02:33
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Update 10: Worst Case Scenario, You’ll Only Be Losing The Parts Of Your Soul You Weren’t Really Using Anyhow.   Fanny’s back! I’m most excited to have her around because I need warm bodies to fill the board. The progression is subtly different on your second playthrough. On the one hand, fights are harder, costs are higher, and inefficiency is a greater threat than ever. Especially if you accidentally take the long way around an early district, slowing your progress by several fights. Not that I did that. On the other, your debt payments seem to buy you more time; while my counting might be a little off, my current payment level gave me as much time as I got from going two levels farther our last time around.   Getting my office back doesn’t hurt either. This time, though, I have access to a new function; while I could generate “biz favors” that can be exchanged for a little bit of cash, now I can switch several of those out for a “trade secret” that I can exchange for gold. Still an abominably slow method of gaining capital, but unlike factory gold, it’s free.  Yeah, get hosed, buddy. Possibly literally.  Wait, wasn’t there only one crown on the map last time? What could this mean???  As I power through events, I accidentally fill up and empty Battle Butler’s heart…  … And get a new costume for Business Maid. They share a meter and unlock pool, so favoring one and getting a costume for the other isn’t exactly uncommon. This one’s a little too porny for my taste, but there are others that either managed to be a little more tasteful or just look better, and if we unlock those, those’ll go straight on them.  But speaking of tasteful and looking good…  Boss, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Sinterklaas.  That’s why I started a bank. I felt like they always get a bad rap. So my goal was to make a good bank. Quite the undertaking, I must say. I’m hoping that joining with you will help us stay true to our mission. Let’s do our best. And here’s your dilf.  We’ve been playing for a while now. We’ve already (strictly speaking) beaten the game once; we’ve long since encountered the most important of the game’s mechanics and met – and often gotten to know – most of the game’s characters. But we have one last element to cover, one of the game’s selling points left forgotten and neglected.  It’s time to finish a route.     It’s rather nice paper, too. I must say, I quite approve of this turn of… Boss! Boss! I’ve looked into it, and it turns out that the letter was delivered…   Also, that paper is made from recycled poetry written by a serial killer. So… I can’t guarantee it’s not cursed. I knew it! In any case, as tonight is another blood moon, I thought we might… complete the dread ritual for which we have prepared? =>I see no problem continually dabbling in the dark arts. Let’s do it! We should be fine. Worst case scenario, you’ll only be losing the parts of your soul you weren’t really using anyhow. This way, Boss. I’ve prepared a space in your wine cellar.>Vicki takes your hand and pulls on you with the excitement of a child on their way to the candy store. You follow Vicki down to your wine cellar, and find it… a bit changed. Torches hang from sconces, burning with green flame. The sickly light illuminates countless animal skulls, wooden bowls filled with unidentifiable orbs, creepy plants, and other, less wholesome things. A complex sigil has been drawn on the floor. Looking directly upon the runes makes your eyes feel hot and dry. In the center of the mandala, a cauldron bubbles.   =>I’ll give you some final touches, all right. Don’t get ahead of yourself… For now, we must focus on the ritual. Tonight we shall summon the spirit of Z’Gorniax, an angel cast down to hell for being too good at sex. Little is known about Z’Gorniax specifically, but the ritual promises a night of unparalleled pleasure.   These ingredients will let Z’Gorniax know what sort of lover we desire.>Vicki gestures to a scarred wooden table, upon which several ingredients are laid out. What a… sexy array of vegetable and animal products. I know! I can hardly choose between them! But we can only add three. What do you think the first should be, Boss?=>Honeycomb Ah, that golden sweetness. But not too sweet; the bees inside provide a playful sting. And our second ingredient?=>Cannabis You’re familiar with the leaf? I imported it at great expense from the Americas. It will give our visitor a slow, almost dreamlike quality. And the third?=>Lacewings These beautiful creatures… Their delicate wings bespeak a delicate soul.(Your choice of ingredients doesn’t change anything.) >Vicki mixes the three ingredients you chose into the cauldron. A cloud of greenish steam rises from the pot. It climbs up your nostrils and invites your brain out for a dance. Your brain politely declines. It’s happy where it is. The elixir is complete. Now, all that remains is to say the words…>Following Vicki’s lead, you walk slowly along the intricate lines of the sigil on the floor. Vicki’s voice croons a lilting melody – a supplication to the spirit you seek.    >As Vicki walks she slowly sheds her clothes, letting them fall behind her. By the time you arrive at the center of the summoning circle, she is as naked as the day she was born… except for her hat. She stops singing mid-verse. Oh! I should mention… =>Me! I was hoping you’d say that!>She reaches out and takes you by the hands while looking you in the eyes.  =>I understand. And I’m more than happy to do this with you. Very well!>She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to prepare.   =>Possessed! >You feel a tenderness well up within you like golden honey. You feel a strong urge to kiss her. =>Roll with it. >You cover her neck in tiny kisses. She giggles with delight.  >You’re filled with a sudden burst of passionate energy. =>Go for it! >In one practiced motion, you rip off all your clothes simultaneously.  >Vicki licks her lips. Z’Gorniax, what a physique you have! …I mean, what a physique you have, Boss. It’s not all Z’Gorniax.>A voice deep within you whispers: “Make love until the moon is at its apex.” =>Make it happen. >After some time… Thirteen wolves howl at the moon in unison.  …That hit the spot… Were those the same thirteen wolves you told us about, Boss? From the cottage? Oh… Yes, I suppose they were. They’re my personal wolves. =>I knew all along (BLUFF CHECK). >Bluff checks aren’t a thing in this game, so you fail. But Vicki plays along. =>Oh? Well then, I guess we both wanted an excuse to stay together that night. I uh… might have also been mistaken about that whole “powerful aura” thing. I think I was just attracted to you.   =>Yeah, I’m into this whole freaky scene, baby. Then so it shall be.   Anyway… I’m glad we met, and I look forward to our next adventure.>With that, Vicki vanishes in a cloud of purple smoke, leaving nothing behind but the scent of violets and mystery. Vicki’s rank five outfit sits somewhere between stereotypical geisha and sexy lingerie, with just a hint of nipple. If you really want to see it, you can look it up  . The only other important thing on the screen shows how she now has four open item slots. But there you have it: a complete route. We have now completed Vicki’s story. We don’t have to stop interacting with her. Characters with completed routes can still gain affection points through gifts or events – they have an invisible meter in the background that occasionally fills up and dispenses one of maybe two or three hidden outfits. But there’s no mechanical benefit to pursuing them anymore, not with all their item slots open. Items come in rarities, MMO-style, and you can only equip one of every type (higher rarity items overwrite their predecessors when equipped). There’re only seven types, though, and properly specialized characters will only ever use a few of them. Realistically, you’ll never need more than three slots open on a character. You can probably use that extra space to build some kind of weird gimmicky hybrid character, but that’s something we’ll get into when we cover character roles in maybe two updates. As for the scene itself… Did you notice how strongly it emphasized enthusiastic consent? Like, it gave you multiple chances in multiple contexts to bring the encounter to a halt, and if you take any of them everybody involved gracefully bows out – and now, some of the reasoning behind how they structured date scenes becomes apparent. Since your choices during scenes don’t matter outside of them, you do not have to make decisions that make you uncomfortable for mechanical benefits. While I’m not exactly well-versed in the wide, wide world of porn games, I get the impression most of them take a linear approach: the more intimate the situation becomes, the closer to victory you are, whatever that happens to mean. Does the game want your character to do something that makes you uncomfortable? Tough poo poo, do it anyway or you either take a mechanical penalty or get stuck and can’t progress. MGSB neatly sidesteps that by just giving you your reward regardless of the choices you made, which lets you pace yourself and stay happy and satisfied. Acknowledging that you aren’t comfortable with certain situations is an important part of sex positivity, and all of the game’s sex scenes are set up to embrace that principle. We’ll see more of that going forward. As a reminder, the vote on whether or not to use racier outfits is still underway! The vote closes in 24 hours.
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May 4, 2021 03:41
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So are there significant changes still to come? Or is it just more outfits and more (excellent and hilarious) scenes? Happy to be lightly spoiled in a block.
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May 4, 2021 06:12
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How much mechanics are in this game versus the dates/content? This seems like the missus and I would have a great time at this game, but not if we're just watching dollars go up for 15 minute stretches and then be rewarded with a 2 minute static cutscene.
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May 4, 2021 22:35
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First time through at least it's well balanced, though the lunch dates can get a little tedious. The writing is so good it's definitely worth it imo.
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May 4, 2021 23:04
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Donkringel posted:How much mechanics are in this game versus the dates/content? This seems like the missus and I would have a great time at this game, but not if we're just watching dollars go up for 15 minute stretches and then be rewarded with a 2 minute static cutscene. I'd say it's goes from 15 minutes of cutscene to 20 minutes of gameplay if you're still getting your sea legs under you to 15 to 10 if you know what you're doing. Just by reading this thread you should have enough knowledge of the game to get the 15/10 ratio. There's enough going on gameplay-wise that it doesn't really get boring between scenes, though. Voting on outfits is now closed! It looks like looking at half-naked people is where the thread draws the line 
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May 5, 2021 03:21
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Update 11: The Faint Approach Of Clip-Clops You know, looking back at the thread, I realize we spent more time with our female executives than their male counterparts, despite them being one of the game’s selling points. So let’s take some quick action.  What a marvelous idea, Boss, to throw a party at your estate tonight! Your rivals will not be able to resist attending, and then you can slay them! Nonsense! The purpose of this gathering could not be more clear! Boss wishes to “mingle”. And here comes a very likely partner indeed… Boss, it is my pleasure to announce the arrival of Maximilian Gentlemen.  =>I hunted it myself. He never saw the cannonball coming.  Good show! Ah… Tales of adventure, extravagant parties… it brings me back to the sorts of parties my dear parents used to throw… The funeral wasn’t much of a party, but then again, a double funeral rarely is.  =>You’re cute, I forgive you. Oh!(The “oh” is both voiced and melodramatic.) I didn’t realize we were flirting already. You won’t catch me off my guard next time. But now I feel like I kind of brought down the tone of this whole party by mentioning dead loved ones. =>Dangerously flirty! Excellent! =>Grab some meat. Yeah. Now everyone is having a good time. I feel more sexy already. You know what else is extremely provocative? >He walks over to the hat fountain and grabs a few hats from the stream. He puts on many hats and turns around to face you with his wide grin. What do you think? Too many?=>Maybe one more? Oh good. I was hoping there was room for another.>He snatches another hat and throws it perfectly atop the stack. Well. It would be a shame not to charm your other guests with my magnificent tower of hats. >Max gives you a wink and rejoins the party.  Who here was expecting the comically manly title character in a game full of borderline pornography to start off his relationship with you by discussing his trauma? sebmojo posted:So are there significant changes still to come? Or is it just more outfits and more (excellent and hilarious) scenes? Happy to be lightly spoiled in a block. It’s funny you should ask.  This asset is one of the most important ones in the game. And we’ll discuss it after the victory cutscene.    =>Alright we’re going to need to craft a disguise… I’ll call on the tailor, boss. There’s this wonderful new pattern I’ve been eyeing… We’re going to need to consult a fashion expert, of course.>Your rival clutches you by the collar.  There’s no time! Maybe we can scrounge up some sticks and leaves and improvise…>Suddenly, your rival notices the faint approach of clip-clops and becomes rigid with terror.  >A black stallion leaps over the park fence and strides over to your rival who is now cowering on the ground.  Please, don’t be mad. I just – I’m not mad… Just… disappointed.>Your rival bites their knuckle, holding back bitter tears. I wish you hadn’t failed me. I take no pleasure in this… No wait! I can still be of use –  You had your chance. Under another word and your punishment will be more severe. I mean it. Not another word out of you.… Now then. On to the matter of your punishment. You there. You’re this wretched creature’s rival, are you not?=>Can I pet your horse? No. What could be more a more[sic] fitting and just a punishment than one devised by the very person they failed to defeat. It’s quite romantic actually. This rival has been a consistent thorn in your side. You certainly must wish to punish them. And I simply will not allow you to abstain. Should you try and shirk this responsibility, you will force my hand.=>Oh man, so many options… let me think.  =>Social punishment.  =>Publish a scathing review about them having poor business acumen. Indeed. I shall call up my most slanderous writers and have them draft dozens of eyewitness accounts of your pitiful and frankly obscene business follies.>Cashious dismounts his steed and coldly approaches your trembling rival.   Zip it. One more peep from you and I’ll have you banned from the theater for one month. That’s not fair! Two months! Want to keep testing me?… I can’t believe you tried sleeping your way to the top of the petting zoo industry. And only to be turned down at the second prong of the corporate ladder… >Your rival faints at the thought of it all. You can’t help but look away from the whole cruel deed. Get this wretch out of my sight.>A number of bystanders grab your rival and drag them out of the park. Cashious casually walks right up into your face. I hope you realized by now that I’m making a point. Come at me if you want. But know this… >Cashious mounts his horse and rides off before you can muster a witty retort. Holy poo poo that guy is merciless. We’d better be ready for him next time. Don’t worry, boss. We’ll show him a thing or two! You know, that whole scene, I was hoping in my heart of hearts that I could spin their punishment into servitude to me, which would effectively give me a free executive. But, unfortunately, all scenes are self-contained and we won’t be seeing our rival for a while. We have something else to think about right now.  You see how there’s an employee pool beneath the gold and money bars on the left? Before now, each executive had to bring their own employees into battle, forcing you to split their time between training, fighting, and recruiting. That is no longer an issue. Now, it’s far more efficient to dedicate your combat executives to training and fighting while subbing in specialized hiring executives… You know what? Let’s take a step back. It’s time for me to give y’all an organized rundown of what kind of strategic decisions shape gameplay instead of half-assing bits and pieces of it like I’ve been doing. So: if you want to maximize efficiency (which, remember, is God in this game), it’s best to specialize executives in a few different roles, influence by their moxie bonus, equipment, and your overall strategy:
 You have to pay tens of thousands of pounds just to open up a route at the train station, and trips take a minimum of a day and often a week or more. But the rewards… You can find money, gold, and tonics that boost your stats at some destinations, but others give you items, the only place you can find them other than by winning fights. And if you go on some of the longer trips? That’s where the good poo poo is. The best items in the game are locked to specific characters. Sometimes, you’ll get a monocle locked to a character with one share and have to sell it off (you can sell items for a small profit). But sometimes? This extremely rare piece of bread is locked to Bonbon, and if there’s a single character in this game that needs bread that draws lets her draw in 40% more people, it’s her. You can speed up train rides by spending exorbitant amounts of gold; I do so immediately. I really fuckin’ need that pastry.  A funny thing happened here. I don’t have a screenshot of it because, by nature, it wasn’t screenshottable; there was some kind of graphical glitch during an event that gave affection points to all three characters instead of just the Butler – and unlocked Penny’s next date. But at time of writing Penny’s the only character that doesn’t have any votes in the poll. So I decided to conduct an experiment.  Fanny was also really close to her first date, and while the game displays the date button in the lower left until you click on it, I don’t know what happens if you activate another character’s date while it’s still open. Hypothesis: activating a second date causes the button to activate the second date instead. A bundle of flowers in Fanny’s face later and our first trial is a go!  poo poo.
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May 5, 2021 17:03
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After that vicious social castigation I think our rival needs to have a few clicks of the "Randomize Appearance" button. To show how life-changing an event it was.
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May 5, 2021 17:28
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Cashious takes cartoon villainy whole new and exciting levels!
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May 5, 2021 19:17
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My word, if even half of that information is true the rival won't be able to show their face in society ever again!
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May 5, 2021 21:50
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Update 12: The Hazards Of Professional Wig-Swallowing Boss, it is my pleasure once more to announce Miss –  =>Rip off your shirt and prepare to arm wrestle once more.   While I’m impressed with your zeal towards arm-based combat and blatant disregard for clothing, I’m here today on a different mission. I am a member in good standing of the London Futurological Society. After the considerable determination you demonstrated on the occasion of our last meeting, I think you might be a good fit for the organization.  =>That sounds like a time in the future. I love the future. You’ll fit right in. The hour approaches. Let us embark!>You follow Penny outside, where she helps you into the passenger seat of her horseless carriage. The engine seen constantly on the verge of exploding as she weaves crazily through the streets on the way to your destination. At last, with a mighty screech of rubber, she drifts to a stop in front of your destination. The Royal Futurological Society is headquartered in a three-story building that seems entirely made out of plumbing. (Wait, wasn’t it the London Futurological Society?) >Penny sees you examining it. The building is powered by steam, the energy source of the future! Come along, the meeting is about to start. >”2021?” he says, challengingly. Clockwork trousers.>”Another good one Miss Farthing,” says the man. He steps aside to let her pass. When you try to follow her, however, he blocks your way.  =>Rip off your shirt and challenge him to arm wrestle. >The bouncer looks you up and down, and shakes his head. “That is decidedly not an answer to my question,” he says.  =>A way to experience twice the anxiety in half the time! Wow, bleak. I tend to hold the opinion that the innovations of the future will reduce anxiety. That would be insane, wouldn’t it?… But we entertain all sorts of wild predictions at the Royal Society. Lord Gearsington, kindly let the visionary pass. Our society benefits from a plurality of ideas.>The bouncer stepped grudgingly aside, and you follow Penny into the bowels of the Royal Society. The interlocking steam pipe motif is joined on the inside by numerous clocks, springs, and superfluous gears. You emerge into an enormous, unnecessarily mechanized amphitheater, where two members of the Society are engaged in heated debate.   >”The aftermath of the gravity wars will render Earth unhospitable[sic] to the hollow-boned!” “The true rulers of the Earth will be the giant squid, nature’s parliamentarian!” “Better holo-boned then holo-brained!” retorts the lady. The crowd erupts in consternation. Our formal debates can become a bit… contentious. I hate it when they argue so. If only someone could propose an idea too handsomely to dispute. =>Bears will rule in the East. Wolves will rule in the West.  =>Hyper evolved humans; more gears and leather straps than man. >”Oh,” says the lady. “gently caress,” says the gentleman. “Yeah, that makes way more sense,” they both agree. Well, that’s settled. What shall we debate next?>”How big are the gears?” yells a member of the crowd, and they’re off to the races again. Further conversations continue apace late into the night, each idea crazier than the last. Many people congratulate you on your wise contribution to the discussion.  =>Shouldn’t there be some kind of induction ceremony? Oh, I’m sure there will be, someday. Your actions tonight demonstrated that, whether or not you are a member now, you will certainly become a member in the future. And since, to a futurologist, the future is now, allow me to be the first to welcome you to our order. Membership comes with certain… responsibilities, but we can discuss those later. For now, enjoy this evening of spirited debate. You’ve more than earned it!  Nah. Also, Lord Gearsington After exiting Penny’s date, I discover I have to throw more flowers at Fanny to get her date to activate again. Today is gonna be all dates, all the time.  Boss, it is my pleasure to announce the arrival of Fanny Shufflebottom. =>Great. Now we won’t have to pretend to be “approachable.”  Oh my gosh. I know! Oops! An important business… thing, came up. Allow me to borrow the master.>Business Maid pulls you aside. Apologies, Boss. I feel I should give you a little back-story on our guest. He was her only family, and as far as I can tell, she doesn’t get out much. Once her uncle died, she left her home in Siberia to bring the family business here to Britain.  =>Unique mannerisms?   >You both look at her as she unceremoniously takes a bite out of an entire lobster. I don’t think she has quite grasped how… anything, works yet. Be gentle.>You return to Fanny as she struggles to chew through a mouthful of lobster. Such wonderful food here. Back home, we primarily ate venison and cheese. Uncle insisted we only eat what we hunt or make ourselves. I must admit, I’m not used to all the attention. I wasn’t allowed to leave the estate while Uncle was still alive.  =>Who is Mr. Fluffy? Mr. Fluffy was by bunny rabbit. When I was younger he would bite me a lot, but once we got him stuffed he became much more friendly.>She smiles innocently. If you don’t mind, my face hurts from all this talking. I don’t normally do it this much. I’m going to go grab some of that juice in the tiny glass that makes my face feel fuzzy.>She wanders off to rummage through your stuff.   Even more nah. A little bit of grinding, a little bit of waiting for further events, and we accidentally get…  … Yeah, I think this will work. A little bit more time goes by, and…   >Pip Whipple suddenly bursts into your office accompanied by a set of police officers.  =>Is this about that elephant I had him punch this morning? I can explain. We were well aware that the elephant had diplomatic immunity, but that doesn’t excuse his poor manners.>The two officers surround Battle Butler. They attempt to pull his massive beefy arms behind his back but they can’t gain an inch. Oh dear, this is most irregular.>The officers struggle against Battle Butler’s immovable arms, putting their whole body weight into it. He pays them no mind.  “Unassuming” is a bit harsh… Not as harsh as what I’m about to say!>The officers resigned themselves from moving Battle Butler and simply handcuff their wrists to his. The uncertainty of this action is clearly visible in their eyes.  >She walks in close and whispers into your ear.  =>Of course. As far as I can throw you, which is pretty far. You can throw me around later. I have work to do. I have gathered three key pieces of evidence: The letters, a letter, and a deus ex Machina. =>The letters? Boss, you will recall the letter which was discovered in your accusatorium after my last visit?=>I remember, yes.  =>The letter in question was a vague threat towards a nonspecific person to admit guilt when pressed. It proved we are dealing with something bigger than we first suspected. The letter was addressed to a “Sir” or “Madam”, implying that perhaps more than one guest received the same threatening letter. I had my suspicions, so I thoroughly dug through everyone’s trash the next day.  My suspicions were true. Everyone in that room was being blackmailed! Would you like to know more?=>A letter?  =>Hey, that’s the first letter of your last name!  Ahem… At first, the letter W holds no special meaning… that is, until we turn it on its side.  =>I think it looks more like a capital “E”. What? No! “E” is all boxy. Sigma has the diagonal lines! It’s elementary! (By I mean that we, as wealthy people, all studied Greek in elementary school.) Sigma is, of course, the 18th letter of the Greek alphabet. And what is the 18th letter of the English alphabet?There is no English alphabet, you’re talking about the Latin alphabet. And you just said knowing details about alphabets is elementary  =>R! Precisely! The 18th letter of the English[sic] alphabet is the letter “R”, which just so happens to be the final letter… =>I feel like… perhaps… that’s a bit of a tenuous connection, at best. And now for the grand finale!=>Bring it home, Pip! I myself oversaw the construction of your accusatorium. What I didn’t tell you is that I installed my own personal surveillance system. I hadn’t expected to need his testimony because it takes him a really long time to use the typewriter… but this morning I awoke to see he had submitted his report.  =>What court wouldn’t believe a mouse that can use a typewriter? Indeed! Surprising absolutely everyone, it turns out that THE BUTLER DID IT!  =>Now hold on a minute… You can’t just kill my butler. Boss is correct. I’m very difficult to kill. What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Butler?… Indeed, I distributed those letters. But… I am unable to deny my guilt. Excellent, on to the execution then. It’s most important that we wrap this up right away. =>I don’t understand what’s going on here, but I trust Pip. Very good, Boss. =>Let him go out the way he lived – fighting wild animals. Bless you, boss.>Battle Butler grabs the police officers by the back of their colors and carries them out, following Pip to an awaiting police convoy. You all take a pleasant ride down to the zoo where the police prepare Battle Butler for his battle to the death.  >Pip looks around nervously as the police corral feral lions, tigers, and bears into the enclosure surrounding Battle Butler.  …3! …2! …Ahem. Any… last words? Let’s get on with it then.>Battle Butler impatiently kicks the cage doors open and is immediately piled on by various manner of wild beasts. No! Wait!>Just then, a voice calls from the distance.  You?!   =>So, should we save my butler or…? Wilfred Whipple: You were never supposed to find the letter. I set you up so that you couldn’t fail! Now look what you’ve done. You staged this? All of this?Wilfred Whipple: Yes, well, not the part where you execute an innocent man. All the other suspects would have just believably bought their way out of jail. And why did you suddenly move this man’s execution today? That’s not how do process works! =>Speaking of… >Battle Butler bursts from the pile of beasts, triumphantly riding a bear. He rides up to the edge of the enclosure and leaps to safety.  I’ve caught you father. And boy am I pissed! Once I realized I was being toyed with, I decided to set a trap. Isn’t that right, Mister Butler? Please don’t be cross with me, boss. It appears I may have deceived you. Miss Whipple approached me sometime ago to request my assistance in a rather unorthodox scheme. I suspected you are behind this, father. I figure if I put an innocent man’s life on the line, you would step in before it was too late. (close enough)Wilfred Whipple:  You got me. I faked the murder you something to investigate – and solve. =>But what about the dead man?  Wilfred Whipple: We as a society do not pay enough attention to the hazards of professional wig-swallowing. Get out of my face. I can’t believe you’ve done this to me. Again. You always do this.Wilfred Whipple: I’m sorry, Pippy-Bear, I…  >Mister Whipple and the police officers head out.  =>Moping? That’s not[sic] way for a big-time detective to behave! I am *not* a big-time detective. I’m a fraud! A fraud who’s been bamboozled! Sure, I figured it was him eventually, but not before I made a fool of myself in front of everyone. I’ve always wanted to be a detective because of the adventure and the romance… But I also wanted to do something real for a change! Growing up rich, there’s not a lot of room for gritty realism, you know? Plus, looking like I do… people just never take me seriously. I wanted to prove I could do this, for real, on my own! I know my dad was only trying to help, but this… this only made things worse. I grew up reading my father’s detective books. And, you may not know this but, my mother is the Chief of Police. I’ve always looked up to her.  =>You know what always cheers me up? Arresting my butler. My heart just isn’t in it. Perhaps being a detective isn’t all about dramatic speeches and deciding who to arrest… Maybe sometimes is about… not arresting people? After all, we really investigated the hell out of this case. A lesser duo would’ve fallen for my dad’s lies, but not us!   Without you, I might not have gone to the heart of this conspiracy. And even though the final verdict makes me kind of sad… well, that just adds to the air of gritty melodrama that every good case needs!  But don’t think this is the last you’ve heard of Pip Whipple. You’ll be hearing from me soon, and when you do, we’ll solve a REAL mystery together!!!>With that, Pip skips off to swear at her dad.   Borderline NSFW and honestly a little creepy. Skip it. But seriously, don’t do this to your kids. There’s no better way to undermine their confidence than setting them up to realize their accomplishments are hollow 
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May 6, 2021 17:11
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Wtf does a fairy outfit have to do with this detective work? That date conclusion calls for a detective outfit.
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May 6, 2021 17:58
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Poor Pip. Please don't set up your kids like that, it'll crush their confidence in no time 
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May 6, 2021 20:27
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The fairy costume is just ugly. This game seems to love really dreadful outfits.
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May 6, 2021 22:00
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Pip's fairie costume is Frederick's of Hollywood sexy, and FoH is to sexy as Elon Musk is to humble.
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May 6, 2021 23:06
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LJN92 posted:The fairy costume is just ugly. This game seems to love really dreadful outfits. It doesn't help that the kind of Edwardian vibe they're shooting for is kind of atrocious to start with.
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May 6, 2021 23:12
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Truly the finest steampunk society ever conceived on earth.
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May 6, 2021 23:59
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Falconier111 posted:It doesn't help that the kind of Edwardian vibe they're shooting for is kind of atrocious to start with. Look Edwardians really liked fairys I dunno what to tell you.
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May 7, 2021 11:24
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Stroth posted:Look Edwardians really liked fairys I dunno what to tell you. Seriously, they're almost single-handedly responsible for our modern perceptions of fairies.
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May 7, 2021 14:27
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Robindaybird posted:Seriously, they're almost single-handedly responsible for our modern perceptions of fairies. Poor Arthur Conan Doyle, gullible enough to fall for literal paper cutouts because he wanted fairies to be real so bad. Update 13: Tires, False Teeth, Sex Toys… Today, we’ve got something to beeline. We are one scene away from completing Pip’s route, but we’ve got a lot of affection points to go before we get there. So many, in fact, that we end up beating a district as we rev ourselves up.  =>I’m picturing his stuck craw as we speak…  =>Oh no! My craw! He sent you this challenge, boss…>Battle Butler hands you a letter written in elegant crimson text upon black paper. It’s hard to read but looks cool as all heck. “Dear adversary, I have once again taken something from right under your nose. If you want to see your Business Maid alive, meet me at my cliffside estate. I’ve sent a carriage to pick you up. I have several cliffside estates, you see. This will just be easier than trying to describe which one to go to. I trust I shall see you shortly. Sincerely yours, Cashious Villionaire.” This is why I insisted Business Maid should wear a little bell – so she wouldn’t get lost so easily. She never takes my tactical advice…  =>If she had just worn the bell this never would’ve happened. Indubitably.>The carriage sent to bring you to the Villionaire estate approaches.  =>Infiltrate his estate and rescue Business Maid while I distract him. You can count on me, boss!>The carriage pulls up. Curiously there is no driver, but the horses seem to know where to go. With no other choice, you step inside. The interior is plush and dimly lit. Across from you is a photo of Business Maid with her eyes scratched out. Otherwise, the ride is pleasant enough. The carriage stops and you step out. An ominous structure looms over you, pitch against the already dark and gloomy sky. You approached the mansion distressingly perched on the edge of a sheer cliff. Sickly grey clouds swirl above the estate.  >The rug is zebra print. The wallpaper is leopard print. Each door supports a unique animal print. You’re not sure how but the chandelier appears to be snakeskin. The assault on your senses instinctively forces you to shield your eyes. You stumble towards a set of giraffe print doors at the end of the hall. You burst into the next room. You find yourself in a cavernous dining hall. A huge black curtain covers one side of the room, fluttering violently from the draft. A figure stands at the back of the room, looking into the fireplace, arms folded behind his back.  =>Your sense of interior design is appalling! I found my aesthetic. Can you say as much? =>This is an obvious trap. I wouldn’t call it a trap, per se. No. I don’t partake in underhanded methods such as that. Traps are so… boring. Impersonal. I need you to understand something.>Cashious calmly seats himself. I may possess the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae, yes. And yes, I may be able to use this power to direct fate itself by my very will…>He pulls a shimmering stone from his breast pocket and holds it up for you to behold.  >Pull up a chair. >You sit at the table. Cashious smiles.   =>Where is this going? You’ll have to excuse me. I love a captive audience. I do tend to go on… Let’s get to the point. I hate you. I hate your family. Everything you have was just given to you. Stolen from me, in fact…  =>Yea it’s called “being rich.” It’s time you faced some consequences. =>Dodge roll! >You tumble out of your chair. Cashious, sitting all the way at the other end of the long table, looks confused. Cashious cuts one of three nearby ropes. The giant black curtain at the side of the room go slack and flutters away to reveal a gaping hole in the wall. Outside the hole are Business Maid and Battle Butler dangling precariously in cages over the cliff’s edge.   =>Cashious! What the gently caress!? I know, right? Allow me to explain. Both of them hang three hundred meters over the rocks below. A fatal fall no matter how you look at it. Not to mention the sharks… Now that you understand the circumstances, I’ll make this simple:  =>Battle Butler. Advise me. It would be my honor to perish in your service, boss.=>Business Maid. Who should I choose? Definitely save me. Battle Butler is always talking about dying for your glory and whatnot. She’s right, boss. Pick me!=>I choose you! … Really? No. Of course not.=>You’re still using the magic stone, aren’t you? I could be. But I’m not. Look, there it sits on the table. Not even glowing. This is just between you and me…=>This is an impossible choice! It’s really not. It’s quite binary. I could flip a coin if they mean so little to you?=>Alright, I’ve made my choice.  =>Sacrifice Battle Butler. I forgive you, boss.>Cashious grins and swings his sabre, cutting Battle Butler’s cage loose. You catch his eyes clenched tight so as to not show any fear as he falls to his doom. =>Run to the cliff’s edge. >You run to the building’s edge and looked down towards the rocks. Boss, it appears you made the correct choice! Battle Butler appears to have indeed been hearty enough to survive the fall. Look!>All the way at the bottom of the cliff you see Battle Butler – although visibly squirming in pain – bafflingly not dashed against the rocks. Bwuahaha! Oh my goodness! you[sic] should see your face! It’s like this.   (All three of those words are voiced.)  =>Am I on hidden camera right now?  =>Does being an absolute tosser pay well? Rubber. My empire is built on rubber. A remarkable material that is used in the creation of many modern products. Tires, false teeth, sex toys… And stage props, such as the rocks your servant has just landed upon. Not the most comfortable landing but not fatal either. >You and Business Maid look back over the cliff to see Battle Butler crawling off the rocks towards the shore. Just before he clears the water’s edge, he’s attacked by a frenzy of sharks! Holy poo poo! Oh yes. I did mention the sharks didn’t I?=>Are you loving kidding me?! Hahahahaha! Again?! You fell for it again?!>Cashious wipes tears from his eyes.  You know, they say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I think it’s better serve in heaping portions… And then you have leftovers and you can re-heat it over and over. You get the point. Well this has been an absolute delight. I mean it. I really look forward to defeating you over and over again. You’d better go rescue your servant. I’m sure with enough time, even a set of rubber teeth will start to chafe.>Cashious pulls down on a sconce and the fireplace he stands in front of rotates around, disappearing him from the room. Well. That was really unpleasant. Thank you for saving me, boss. We’d better get to it.>You and Business Maid head down to the cliff to retrieve Battle Butler so that you may regroup and prepare for Cashious’s next assault.  Were you expecting mind control to be a key plot point in this game? Be honest. Back to the grindstone. You probably could’ve guessed it takes a lot of affection to reach later parts of an executive’s path. But when it comes to breaking rank six, unless most of your executives are pretty far down their paths already – and they probably won’t be – you’ll end up activating other people’s dates accidentally as you try to manipulate affection point flow. That’s part of what happened with Penny last time; she just happened to earn affection points during events that put her ahead of the game. Such is life.  As I worked my way through the district, I realized I flat-out forgot to explain a mechanic, largely because it’s so irrelevant that I never pay attention to it. You see those icons in the upper right? Those are market trends. You know how each executive’s specialty is a field of business – metalwork, shipping, entertainment, whatever? Every week, some businesses make a little bit extra at the bank and some take a penalty. I ignore them because the bonuses and penalties are so piddly that they only matter if you’re going really hard into maximizing efficiency, but at that point it would probably take you more time the real world just to plan everything out to line up with market conditions than it would for you to just muddle through. Like, who cares, you know?  Finally, FINALLY, I managed to unlock Pip’s final scene, and – wait. Didn’t I have something to do first? Donkringel posted:After that vicious social castigation I think our rival needs to have a few clicks of the "Randomize Appearance" button. To show how life-changing an event it was. Right. I did randomize their appearance, but since they won’t be showing up at least for a little while, I’m not sure it’s worth showing off the end result yet. But, well, we do have a gentsona of our own…  Marvelous.
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May 7, 2021 16:37
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.... Neckbeard of the Opera. Also, about the mind control powers. Is this intended as a contrast to the main theme of consent in this game?
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May 7, 2021 17:55
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Falconier111 posted:
That aside, it doesn't look too bad for a randomizer.
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May 8, 2021 03:20
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I would trust that man with my money for sure!
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May 8, 2021 03:34
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...Can you, in fact, put facial hair on a gentsona that has a female body? I need to know. For reasons.
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May 8, 2021 06:06
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Viola the Mad posted:...Can you, in fact, put facial hair on a gentsona that has a female body? I need to know. For reasons. pretty sure you can, yeah
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May 8, 2021 10:35
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Viola the Mad posted:...Can you, in fact, put facial hair on a gentsona that has a female body? I need to know. For reasons. Yep. There’s no lock on nothing. E: This is what our rival currently looks like:  Sketchie posted:The crown really makes it. Every option is ridiculous, which makes no option more ridiculous than the others. Both of these came out of the randomizer on the first click, I didn't need to reroll until I got something that wasn't piss-ugly. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 16:14 on May 8, 2021 |
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May 8, 2021 15:18
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Falconier111 posted:Yep. There’s no lock on nothing. Oh my. That was quite the SEVERE castigation if they look like that.
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May 8, 2021 18:41
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Donkringel posted:Also, about the mind control powers. Is this intended as a contrast to the main theme of consent in this game? … You know, that honestly didn’t occur to me. I was just kinda like “wow this is kind of out of genre” but no, you might have the right of it. Update 14: A Strong Waft Of “Villainous Exposition” Energy Boss, Pip Whipple has arrived, with all her usual joie de vivre. I believe she wishes to speak with you. drat right I wish to speak with you, partner! Maybe the crime wasn’t real, but our crime-solving skills were, for sure! So I was sitting around my house, you know, not solving any crimes, and I thought… I’ve grown to really like and depend on you over the course of our investigation, so much so that I have a hard time imagining life without you. =>Let’s talk about those… other feelings. Let me put it this way: I’ve got one more mystery for you to get to the bottom of, and you’re gonna like what’s at the bottom of it. =>I can’t wait to crack your case, if you know what I mean.  >Pip grabs you by the hand, hustles you into a carriage, and soon has you at her estate, standing before the door labeled “Interrogation Room.” =>Ooh, kinky! I guess it is, isn’t it? Let’s have a look, shall we?>Pip throws open the door to reveal… her bedroom. Sorry, I didn’t have time to remodel my bedroom into anything fun or sexy, like a crime-scene or a jail. We’ll have to use our imagination. =>I fell left out. Where’s my costume? I’m glad you asked! =>  There’s not normally one there… =>A sexy gangster. Marvelous! I got just the thing!>Pip helps you put on your costume, which includes a black bandanna, a black-and-white striped jumpsuit, and a leather crotch-harness. And now for the finishing touch: the handcuffs! =>Aw yeah, immobilize me, baby.  >Pip cuffs your hands together with relish. Excellent! Now sit down on the bed and…>Pip closes her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, her entire manner has changed.  =>With my boys. Ask them. They’ll tell you the same thing. As a matter of fact, I did ask them. They were so taken by my sparkling personality and… other features… that they spilled the whole story. You’re hosed, boss, and probably not in the way you wish.>Pip entwines her fingers in your hair, pulling you close. Her piercing gaze skewers you.  =>You don’t fool me. Behind that tough façade, you’re terrified of me. I must confess, there’s something about your boorish disregard for the law that I find alluring… So I’m did ask you one more time, and I want you to think carefully about your answer: =>Go on, get angry. I can take it. Oh… you… scoundrel! You get me so worked up I could… I could… >Pip wraps you in an enthusiastic embrace, kissing you hungrily.  =>Can we… leave our costumes on? Ooh, absolutely. I appreciate your commitment to the role.>Though the logistics are a bit complicated, you are soon happily entangled on the bed. Pip, unable to contain herself any longer, and tackles you onto the bed. Oh ho! I’ve discovered one of your secrets! I didn’t know that a criminal would be ticklish too!  =>That… sounds precisely like a dare. And I never turn down a challenge. Oh no! My secret weakness!>Pip let out a giddy shriek as you tickle her ‘til she’s pink-cheeked. The handcuffs make it a bit tricky, but you manage.   =>I could never defeat an rear end like yours. You’re darn tootin’! I’m relentless in my work, but it’s my rear end that really won’t quit! I can’t stand it anymore! I’ve waited too long to get down and dirty with a criminal like you!>After some time…   =>I guess crime does pay after all. Don’t be getting the wrong idea, now… I’m still an officer of the law. Like, I feel as though I’m not very good at connecting with someone unless there’s some kind of fantasy attached… I never thought I’d find someone who is willing to share those fantasies with me. >With that, Pip lays her head on your chest and falls fast. In the morning, you’ll have to go back to being fancy business moguls… But for tonight, you can live in this fantasy a little longer. Pip’s final outfit is literally just a pair of towels. That was a lot more awkward to dictate than Vicki’s final scene, and it had fewer outs, too. Which is awful unfortunate, considering it involves handcuffs. That is terrible BDSM etiquette! But it still emphasizes consent, gives you places to back off, and lets you control the scenario a little bit. That’s better! But enough talk about sex in a sex game. Let’s do stuff I’ve been putting off.  Vlad here is my reward for my last standard payment towards my debt. From here on out, I’ll just be sinking increasing amounts of gold into extending my loan if I think I need it. This is the last thing that Angel will ever give us. Well, the last thing except for one.  You remember that freestanding garden building just north of the square we had yet to defile? Now that’s our Kingsman training facility. Kingsmen take forever to train and consume thousands of employees a pop just to start (and the cost grows exponentially as you go), but each one boosts your combat damage by 10%. By the time you get access to Kingsmen, you’ll probably be past the point of diminishing returns when it comes to training up your Fisticuffs at the gym; Kingsmen help you fill the gap and keep damage up. They also give you a reason to build up a massive employee pool instead of just pulling in as many as you need, keeping the optimization game going a little longer. But yeah, unless I’m forgetting something, that’s the last time the game will introduce something new. Mechanically speaking, that is. Anyway. I take the next boss out.   =>You what now? Captured him, boss.  =>Letting my rival steal our company over and over again… Exactly. For all these reasons and more, I felt I needed to prove my position to you. Therefore, I concocted a tactical stratagem to capture our opponent. =>Hm. That seems awfully easy. Surprisingly so. Although I’ll be quite honest, boss – I don’t believe in magic. If that stonework says he claims, how come I was able to lift him up like a little baby?  =>The sex dungeon or the regular dungeon? Ah. Apologies, boss. If there were some erotic undertones to your previous interactions with Cashious I am afraid I was oblivious to them. He’s waiting in the regular dungeon. =>How are you finding the accommodations?  =>Is… is he dead? Doubtful, boss. He punched me a lot while being placed in the cell.>Cashious inhales slowly and lets out a heavy breath. He looks your way with contempt and a hint of boredom in his eyes.  =>Standing here and relishing the irony for starters.  =>You’re pretty smarmy for someone who’s behind bars. I’m sure you’ll find that even behind bars, even without the assistance of the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae, I am in control. You don’t even seem to realize that I’ve come here of my own volition. Preposterous! You are here because of my excellent capturing skills. Boss, Cashious is obviously lying through his well-groomed moustache. Shall I run over to the sex-dungeon and fetch us some whips? A few good lashes will knock the lies out of this snake’s mouth. =>Why did you steal my magic rock? It was never yours in the first place. I have just returned it to its rightful owner.>Cashious turned his back to you and steps into the shadows. A strong waft of “villainous exposition” energy washes over you.  They not only traveled the world together, but they were lovers as well. Perhaps had advanced not transpired as they did… we could have been related… It is clear to me, from Great Great Grandfather Thaddeus Villionaire’s journals, that his love for your Great Great Grandmother was one for the ages. The common robbery they shared; Oh[sic], it stirs my soul. *ahem* You see, it was an expedition like any other. They were to track down a legendary relic from a long dead civilization. They face unknown dangers together; jump across a crumbling corridor, avoid traps, claim their prize, kiss, celebrate – the same old formula… But this time… something was different. The treasure they found wasn’t just some large gem or an old lamp. What they found was an honest-to-goodness magic relic. They soon found that with the power of the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae, they could bend the will of others. They had incredible power at their fingertips. On their return trip to England, your Great Great Grandmother abruptly dessert Thaddeus on a remote island. All to steal the relic for herself. Your Great Great Grandmother discarded everything they had for her own selfish desires. Thaddeus was stranded on that island for years, a broken man. My family was banished to a middle-class status for generations – I am the first Villionaire to rise from the ashes of what your family ruined! And one of your family? Well, I’d say it’s obvious… Your family has been using the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae to thrive. That! That is why I have been plotting your demise all these years.  =>Wow. That was a lot. I’ve said my piece. Are we doing here?=>Where is the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae? Hidden away. If – if – you were to somehow deduce which of my secret lairs I have hidden it in… And if you were able to infiltrate my defenses… even then, you’d never stand a chance of finding its location nor cracking the code to the safe. Maybe… if I were to stay locked up here for a few years you could stumble upon it. But I don’t plan on staying very long.=>Do you honestly think I’ll let you out of here? You? No, I don’t believe you’ll be letting me do anything. You have me right where you want me.=>Are you sure you wouldn’t rather spend some time in the sex dungeon with me?  Haha! I’d like to see you try. I’ve got the only set of –… Looking for these?>Cashious holds up a set of iron dungeon keys. What? What did you-?! Well. But… I… Good luck getting through me! No need. These keys were simply to make sure you couldn’t get in. You see, when I first broke into your state to claim the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae… I also dug out and escape tunnel accessible from this very cell. I planned this all along. I hope you see now that I am – and always will be – miles ahead of you.  =>Battle Butler! Stop him! >Battle Butler flexes and furiously grapples the bars of the cell as Cashious dropped the keys to the ground. The bars slowly crumple but it’s not fast enough as Cashious disappears into the darkness.  =>Let’s go get those whips from the sex dungeon… Very good, boss. We’ve just completed two out of the 12 available routes, so it’s time to start up a new poll and pick which executives to go after next.  Go make your voice known!
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May 8, 2021 21:10
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Something just occurred to me that I absolutely should have put in the OP but didn’t. I do not plan on 100%ing Max Gentlemen Sexy Business. Mea culpa. That’s a truly enormous amount of text for me to type up, especially since I never got my hands on the script and I occasionally have to replay scenes to make sure I got the best dialogue options. While we’re still a few posts out, we’re actually approaching a natural stopping point for the game. So I think we need to have yet another vote .
The vote will last maybe 48 hours.
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May 9, 2021 18:24
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Declare victory and go home It's been a good trip but if you're ready to move on you're ready to move on.
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May 9, 2021 19:07
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End it soon. This game is charming but not enough for another 10 updates
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May 9, 2021 19:28
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Galick posted:End it soon. This game is charming but not enough for another 10 updates Agreed.
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May 9, 2021 20:37
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Declare Victory, there's no need to burn yourself out. And since i just ordered a laptop, I'll be able to play it myself soon enough.
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May 9, 2021 21:14
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Quitting before the emotionally gripping and tearjerking parts? For shame.
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May 9, 2021 21:49
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Do as much as you think you can deal with - trying to push through to LP is a good way to end up getting burn out and hating the game.
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May 9, 2021 22:05
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Update 15: CHARITY BINGE!!! With no more major new mechanics to get in the way, I’m spending my time punching my way all the way through districts and delaying before the district boss so I can maximize my income while giving me enough time to get some dates. I mentioned earlier that this game runs out of innovations before it runs out of story, and that’s long since kicked in: the gameplay isn’t bad, even after repeated exposure, but it’s just more of the same.  I do find out that you can get new costumes for all characters by filling up the Butler/Maid affection meter or the affection meters of anyone whose route you’ve completed. This one goes straight onto Fanny and it probably won’t change for a while.  I said “major new mechanics”, and I meant it, but we still have a few minor quirks to get out of the way. For instance, after laying down some big-time money, we get access to a third room in the office and blood debts, which we can trade in for shares for a randomly selected business (they change every week). It’s not something you’ll likely get much use out of, because since it takes about 10 biz favors to get a secret, 5 secrets to get a blood debt, and earning or converting anything takes one hour, you’re looking at 61 hours just to get one blood debt. That’s just a little bit extremely punishing. I don’t think I’ve ever used one, in any of my playthroughs.  Since we’re coming up on the endgame, I’ve focused on collecting as many affection-boosting items as I can to speed through a couple remaining dates. So let’s take a look!  Boss, it is my pleasure to announce the arrival of Sinterklaas.  =>Bring it in. >You embrace him. He smells like gingerbread. The hug lasts the exact perfect amount of time. You know, I find a bit of personal contact a great way to bond with another person. There’s an intimacy that comes from touch. A simple touch in the shoulder. A hug. One of those laps on the butt the baseball boys do. All great bonding experiences.  =>Touch me all you want, handsome. In that case, I feel another hug coming on…>You hug again. I like to think we’ve grown closer in the last 30 seconds. And you’ve got such a warm and inviting home… I… I, actually do most of the upkeep so… You know.  You know, one of my favorite things in the world is to put a smile on someone’s face. =>Share a drink with me. Oh goody! I secretly didn’t want to leave yet anyway.>You spend the night chatting up Sinterklaas.   I have just barely enough items to net me the second date right away.  Boss, Sinterklaas has come calling. There was a merry jingling of bells upon his arrival. It quite startled me. It looks just as great in person Wait. What’s this now? =>What? No. That’s just my face. My word! Then the problem is even worse than I feared! Not only has sadness crept into your features… it has crept into your very heart! Perhaps you feel trapped by your life – bound by a straitjacket of social customs and business decisions. =>Acute sexual frustration. Indeed, such frustration could easily paint a frown upon your lovely lips. Luckily for you, I have just a prescription for your predicament!  =>Like… taking, but you do it wrong? Goodness, you’re further gone than I thought… But you are not beyond help! No, my dear one, what we need…  =>Sure, I’ll try anything once. Wonderful!…  =>Let us give gifts. Indeed, gift-giving is a marvelous way to lighten the spirit! It reminds us of how much we have, and how much we gain when we give it away! =>My loyal butler. He’s certainly risked his life enough. A cracking idea! Your butler has served you well. Show him how much you appreciate his dedication. =>A bouquet of swords. Interesting. Well, I suppose you know him better than I do. Let’s see how he likes it. I’ll put it on my windowsill, next to the skulls of my enemies. Well… all right then. Well gifted, boss! You see? Is it not pleasant to give to others? What shall we do next?=>Let us help people. And who should we help?=>Let’s find some lepers and wash their feet.  =>… Old buddy? … Did I say old buddy? I meant… person I read about in a book once. >There you spend a lovely few hours scrubbing the basket of dismembered feet the lepers bring you to wash. Do you feel the joy coursing through you? What shall we do next?=>Let’s spread good cheer! Yes, yes! To bring joy to everyone who crosses my path – that is my sole mission in life. =>Let’s drop sweets from a dirigible. Why use a dirigible when we could use my… Nevermind. Yes, a dirigible sounds grand. Well, that’s the first time we’ve seen text overflow the box like that. You know, so few good things fall out of the sky. It’s usually just rain, snow, baby grand pianos…  =>I just assumed poor people were into that. Quite to the contrary. Cholera fell out of style amongst the poor at some point. =>What’s the point of spreading cheer if we can’t receive their gratitude? Just knowing you’ve made someone’s day is enough. If you listen carefully to the screams, you can hear faint laughter… I just love giving, don’t you?>As the day’s activities wind down, Sinterklaas turns to you, smiling.  =>It was tolerable! Tolerable? Well… that’s fine. I was hoping for “transcendent” or “life-changing”, but I don’t control your emotional responses, nor would I want to. I would, however, like to make up for an only mediocre day out. How does that sound?=>Rad. I don’t know what that means, but I assume it’s good! Until next time!>Sinterklaas boards his carriage and departs, jingling all the way.  Still great, but not as great as the first. Anyway, we beat the second-to-last district boss.  =>Turn around slowly with an increasingly horrified look on your face.  =>Oh. It’s you. Here to collect on a loan? If so, I’m not in right now.  No no. You’re all paid up for now. I’ve been standing on the sidelines for long enough. I thought it was high time that I take a more… active role.  =>So you know my Great Great Grandmother was a bad gal. Yes but here’s the thing… I’m not so sure Cashious is telling us the whole story.=>You really think someone would do that? Just go to my dungeon and tell lies? ( ) He may be misleading us… but I’m not certain even he knows the whole truth. I’m just going of a hunch here, but when he told his side of the story, he cited his source as his Great Great Grandfather’s journal.  =>But we keep all our family records in that old haunted mansion on the hill. No one goes there anymore. Indeed. That is precisely why I ventured into your hereditary “haunted” mansion to search for any records myself. Turns out – it’s a popular ghost hunting location. And it’s been entire[sic] burglarized of any valuables, including your family records. But as it turns out… one of my black market contacts has just informed me of a very curious item. =>*choke* Great Great Mawmaw Marzel’s journal?! We have to get our hands on that journal. I suspect Marzel’s side of the story will shed some light on that whole situation.  =>I’m cool. I got this. I love slumming it with poor dirty folks. … Sure. Why not. I can work with this. I have some… experience with the workings of the underbelly of the city. =>Can we seduce our way to the journal? >Angel leads you on a journey through shadowy alleys and secret passageways, deep into the city’s underbelly and a secret underground meeting hall. The people around you are seedy figures, cloaked in shadow. They regard you with skeptical looks between their secretive whispers. Angel elbows you, and nods towards a rough-looking man, roughly the size and shape of a large icebox, covered in scars and laughing loudly. My contact told me that’s the man who’s brought Marzel’s journal here for auction. He works as a fence for one of the local organized crime groups. =>I have my own diary, from my teenage years, stuffed full of embarrassing anecdotes and bad poetry. … Mm. Not what I… loving. I meant loving. Once he’s spent, he’ll fall right asleep, and then we grab the goods and run. =>I valiantly volunteer to saddle up that steer-shaped criminal. That’s… one way to put it. Sure, sounds great. Any way good luck don’t gently caress it up!>From the moment you approach the man, he takes a liking to you. You share drinks and stories until finally the fence leans in closer to you.  (His speech doesn’t have any markers on it – no quote marks, no triangle bracket, whatever. I’ll just represent it with quotes and keep the format the same as it’s been through the rest of the LP.) =>I was born under a bad moon, baby. No nothing but trouble my whole life. Until now… >”Oh, I’m plenty of trouble. Maybe we oughta get in to some… together.” The time you and the fence share together can certainly call the time. And as Angel predicted, he’s soon fast asleep, face-down and snoring.  >Having retrieved the journal, you and Angel abscond back to your estate to read its contents in private. As you slowly read through the pages, Angel impatiently snatches the journal from you. Give it here. I’m a speed reader.>She flips through the pages. Ah! >”Thinking it only luck, we returned to our quarters for the night and found the relic we’d recovered glowing in the dark. Terrified at first, we decided there must be some odd property of the stone we do not understand. We are not to tell the crew as they are a superstitious lot.” >”-May 5th. It happened again. We’ve only been at sea two days and the crew have already lost all their spare coin to Thaddeus and I. I suggested we return our winnings but Thaddeus protested. We are still weeks from home and I do not think it wise to travel with a crew that despises us.  =>Keep listening. >”May 6th. It was an uneventful day overall… interactions with the crew were sparse as we decided to give them some room. Strangely the rock did not gloat today.” >”-May 12th. I barely believe this as I write it, and I must further test my hypothesis. But, I believe that the glowing of the rock is somehow tied to our good fortunes.” (Another text box break here.) >”I struck up a conversation with the captain and we decided to play a friendly game of dice. I won every time as had been observed from before. Upon returning to my room, I noticed the rock was glowing once more. The rock always close when fortune smiled upon me. I can’t wait to tell Thaddeus. >”-May 13th. To test our theory, we went to the stone to the captain. As before, his luck was a matter-of-fact. We couldn’t win against him in a single game. The captain suggested we throw the rock overboard but of course we could not. Thaddeus seems quite excited about the potential uses for the stone.”  >”-May 18th. Dear God. The crew, they turned against us. Apparently Thaddeus has been sneaking out in the night to further test the stone’s powers. It appears that while wielding the stone, he can influence the actions of the crew. They claim their actions are not their own and it terrifies them. It seems the stone does not grant is locked… but we’ve been unwittingly using it to bend the will of those around us to act in our favor. I’m not comfortable with this violation of agency and neither was the crew. They’ve trapped us in our cabin but thanks to the power of the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae, Thaddeus is keeping them at bay.” >”-May 20th. Thaddeus and I have been fighting. He wants to use the stone to force the crew into submission. I keep trying to convince them that’s deeply wrong. He also keeps trying to sell me on the idea of using the stone to do whatever we want to whomever we want.”  >”Thankfully he has not yet thought use the stone on me… but I feel that it is only a matter of time…” >”-May 22nd. We left him. Oh, what have I done?... No. I did what I had to do. Thaddeus was out of control. He told me his plan for the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae. The way he spoke, his thoughts, they were diabolical. There’s no doubt in my mind that he had to be stopped. I had to keep him from the stone! The crew and I planned it. We made a deal to leave Thaddeus and the stone on that island. What I didn’t tell him is that I kept the stone. It’s too much power for any mortal to wield. I can already feel the allure of its power creeping into my thoughts. When I make it home, I’m going to seal it away… deep within my estate. This is the only way. No one should have this power. I’m so sorry Thaddeus. I dearly hope you will be all right…”  =>So Cashious’s ancestor was the bad guy all along! You would think it obvious with a last name like Villionaire. This settles it. We are the good guys and Cashious must be stopped. All that’s left is to defeat him and take the stone back. No biggie.
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May 10, 2021 21:04
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In case it wasn't already obvious, "Sinter Klaas" is the Dutch bastardization of Saint Nicholas, and the inspiration for Santa Claus in the USA.
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May 11, 2021 17:39
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Update 16: Who Knew Laws Applied To Rich People As Well?  I could definitely take the time to grind out a few more people’s dates, maybe close in on the end of Sinterklaas’s route, but we are in the endgame and I don’t care for distractions. I do end up getting a new costume for Vlad by filling in Vicki’s affection bar. The game may have chosen randomly, but it couldn’t have been more fitting.  You can actually see Cash’s sprite down in the park. This will be the final battle of this run, a vicious brawl against the strongest enemy we’ve ever faced. He hits harder than anyone we’ve faced before, in this run or the last, and his massive employee pool gives him serious staying power. He doesn’t even need to defeat us to win; all he has to do is last for three minutes. Once the timer runs out, the fight ends, our losses are permanent, and his employee pool goes right back up to its maximum the next time we challenge him. He goes down in less than a minute.   =>Casually dodge and shove him in the dirt.  =>Pose for the crowds. >You strike a pose, pointed wink at a nearby on-looker. They faint, as does anyone caught in the collateral damage of your wayward charm. Cashious silently kneels at your feet, dripping in blood. Over the cheers of the bloodthirsty park-goers you hear a faint whistling grow from the back.  =>Wait, we still have to get the Sanctus Lapis Fortunae[sic]! Trust me, it’s better for you if we’re not seen together. Don’t worry, you got this.>Angel disappears into the crowd as a handful of policemen pushed through the crowd. They jolt with shock when they spot you standing over Cashious.  >The policemen rush to place themselves between you and Cashious. One of them helps him up – as the other two surround you.  =>Rich people stuff. None of your concern officer. Policeman: Rich people stuff? Oh, well I’m so sorry to bother you and your high horse.  =>I think it best if I talk to a lawyer… Remember kids, don’t let the police grill you without your lawyer present   That won’t always stop them, though =>Battle Butler avenge me! I’m sorry boss, my hands are tied. Literally.>You see four large policeman struggle to drag Battle Butler away from the scene. The policeman escort you out of the park as your business partners and employees watch in disbelief.     =>Who knew laws applied to rich people as well? Yes it’s quite a dramatic twist. Either way… We’re about to head inside and we need to act fast.  =>Yes, I slept with his wife to win that one.  =>Oh wonderful. Can I expect to see the likes of Max and Penny on the jury then? “Peers” is a bit misleading… It’s mostly a gaggle of random citizens, boss. Merely people who live in the same district as us. =>You, Business Maid! You’re the smartest person I know! A wise choice boss. You can count on me.>You enter the courtroom and take your seat. Next to you is Cashious, sitting silently with his prosecutor:   =>Have you been working for Cashious all along?!  Oh! No no no! This is just… well… I uh… I’m so sorry boss. But Cashious hired me to represent him, and he… well he was quite insistent. You’re not even a lawyer! You just own a law firm. Yes, I… tried telling Mr. Villionaire that but… as I said: he was quite insistent. Apologies boss, but I am bound by my honor to prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. I won’t be holding back.>”All rise for the honorable Judge Strong.” The judge enters the courtroom and takes his seat. Somebody rings a bell.  Judge Strong: Prosecution, make your claim. >Antoine Quivers as he hangs his head, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. We’ve got this in the bag.>Antoine snaps to and slaps the desk, gaining everyone’s undivided attention. He stands upright, confident and majestic like you’ve never seen him before.   =>Wait your turn.  =>Bite your tongue. Finally, we come to The Weapon: Fists.  I think you’ll find with our insurmountable mountain of evidence this is an open-and-shut case. Thank you Your Honor. The prosecution rests.>The jury talk amongst themselves and look at you with a general expression of contempt.  Judge Strong: Of course. But let’s make it quick. Boss, things aren’t looking good for us. Maybe we had best put our heads together and to[sic] figure out our next steps?>You step out of the courtroom to strategize. Before you can get started, there’s a knock on the door.  You traitor! How could you?! No no! Please listen! I’ve come to offer you guidance. Pardon me for asking but, how are you so competent at this? You have no legal experience and you are tearing us up out there. But here’s the thing. I had no choice but to help Cashious. He kidnapped Custard! That dastardly bastard kidnapped a horse?! What depths will he not sink to? Quickly, I don’t have much time. This is all being orchestrated by Cashious. He purposely lost to you in the park and he’s using this trial to try and further ruin your reputation. Here’s the thing: When it comes to his life outside of you, the man’s a saint. Cashious is widely beloved, kind, and giving. I don’t know if it’s all an act or what… Either way, I’ve got a defense strategy that I think will work for you. This is really just a case of public opinion, all you have to do is dazzle the jury. You really are a magnificent person boss. I’m sure if you call some character witnesses you can turn the tide. And once you’ve gained their favor, I have the final blow ready for you.>Antoine whispers into Business Maid’s ear and quickly slips out of the room. Brilliant! Let’s get back out there.>You return to the courtroom.  >Business Maid proceeds to call upon the various gents and ladies that you’ve befriended on your journey.  But I gave you that dress  We get this sort of response if we didn’t get much progress in their routes.   We get this sort of response if we completed them   (She’s talking about Business Maid, they’re old friends.)      I thought we were friends >After the final character witness leaves the stand, the jury looks to have swayed slightly in your direction as looks of disgust have changed it to winks and nods. Now’s our chance. Time to play our trump card. Your Honor, people of the jury, as you have just seen, my client is a person of excellent standing. Not only are they cool and attractive, but if you acquit them… I mean, I’m not saying they will hang out with you and be your friend, but… Well, to me it seems that all of their business partners here are quite happy with their marvelous boss. Wait a minute… Objection! All of those witnesses work for the defendant! Their testimony should be thrown out.Judge Strong: Hmm? Is this true? I’ve only been half paying attention. Indeed it is, Your Honor. In fact, everyone who is in that fight in the park was an employee of either my client or Cashious.Judge Strong: Now hold on just a minute. Do you mean to tell me you all have been wasting my precious time? I could be knee-deep in foxes right now! …Er. How do you mean Your Honor?  Judge Strong: I’m going to go ahead and supersede the jury on this one. Antoine. What is happening? Control the situation. Objection?... Er, uhm s-Sir, can you even do that?Judge Strong: I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure. But seeing as how no one here is an actual lawyer… I wield the gavel. I make the rules.  Yes! We’ve done it!>Business Maid grins and pumps their[sic] fist. Cashious, stunned by this sudden turn, stairs down in his table in disbelief as Antoine stands over him trembling with fear. Judge Strong: Just go fetch your company paperwork and I’ll slap you with a fine for… oh say, a couple million pounds. How’s that sound? Right away, Your Honor!>You and Business Maid step outside and into your private meeting room. I figured something like this might happen so I brought all of our appropriate documents to the courthouse just in case. And so no one could try to steal the company again while we were distracted.>You hear some shuffling near a window.  … Sorry boss. Orders from on high. Nothing personal.>Before you have time to process what’s going on, she leaps from the window. Battle Butler charges after her but gets stuck in the window frame. Uh… all rights so we might have a problem.>You return to the courtroom empty-handed. Judge Strong: Alright let’s see that paperwork. I’m ready to get out of here. That foxhorn isn’t going to toot itself!  If we could just have a little more time to try and retrieve it. My client’s butler is currently in pursuit you see and…Judge Strong: I’ve had enough of this you are foolishness. It’s obvious to me that you were just trying to buy time… No wait! If you… >Everyone in the courtroom gasps! A smile creeps across Cashious’ face. Antoine looks at you with confusion. Everyone is in a commotion. Judge Strong: Now then. On to the matter of your imprisonment. It seems that after arresting all of your employees the commoner jails are overflowing… and while you have commit[sic] a crime… I have a soft spot for fellow moneyed persons… but sending you to the Château Goele seems too lenient. Hmm. If I may Your Honor?Judge Strong: Proceed. As you may know, one of my lair… er, estates also serves as a reformation center for the worst criminals in the city; one of my public services. Seeing as I’m the aggrieved party, I will gladly take on the burden of reforming this poor lost soul. Please grant me this responsibility.Judge Strong: Hmm. Yes, that sounds fitting to me. The defendant shall serve their sentence in the private prison estate of Cashious Villionaire. >The judge bangs his gavel as the room explodes into a fervor. What happened? Oh, I’m so, so sorry.>Business Maid looks on in shock, unable to do anything as guards drag you away.    Time for round three. I go ahead and pick Penny to start with because bank Moxie bonus, but not before I realize every executive reads off their full name when you select them. A nice touch, though I wasn’t expecting Vicki to pronounce her surname Lestraynge instead of Lestrahnge. And then I end the LP. Obviously there’s more to this game. Hell, there’s enough text in the first scene of your third run for a full update by itself. But I’ll tell you a secret, one that complies with my spoiler policy all the way back in the OP: the way we’ve been advancing through the game so far? The way the plot advances separately from the various routes? That no longer applies. To advance the plot further, we need to complete all 12 routes. From now on, the game will just loop every time you complete a map, starting you over again like normal. The difficulty MIGHT increase from run to run, but I’m not certain. It’s just more of the same. And rather than do the same thing I’ve been doing for like the last three weeks while chipping away at literal novels worth of text, I’m gonna go ahead and bring this thing to a close. And that’s Max Gentleman Sexy Business; a fun, funny, extremely idiosyncratic fusion of two unlikely genres that isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t need to be. It packs in pleasant (if unexceptional) mechanics, interesting characters, stellar comedic writing, and a surprisingly subtle exploration of the concept of consent from multiple angles and perspectives. In case it wasn’t clear already, I really like this game. If you’re at all interested, I recommend you sink some money into it and find out for yourself.
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May 12, 2021 18:43
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Not sure if I saw the smart, sharp dramatic writing I was promised op but it does seem like the sort of game you'd suddenly get tired of playing so understandable you'd stop it here.
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May 13, 2021 01:34
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