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Larry is not me. His name is not actually Larry. Amongst Larry's exploits are the following: He decided that making GBS threads in his garbage disposal was the appropriate solution to his toilet being backed up. He insisted that it was easy to clean the disposal and that the disposal was essentially a glorified sewage pump. He did this for two weeks, and surprisingly it didn't actually cause any horrible smells in his house. Larry has been using lemons to freshen up his disposal for as long as I've known him. The seeds make a harsh grinding sound in the disposal and he has to regularly twist a screw on the bottom of the disposal to clear jams. As far as I know Larry has stopped making GBS threads in his garbage disposal. At one point on a vacation to Pensacola, Larry was terrified of the moon jellies in the water. There was a purple sign warning of jellyfish. He initially went in the water and claimed that he was getting stung by the jellies, and insisted that someone pee on his legs. No one obliged so he went to a store to buy vinegar. He REALLY wanted to swim but he didn't want to be stung more, so his solution to this issue was to get duck tape while he was at the store, and then he duck taped his jeans to his shoes to make sure none of the dastardly moon jellies could swim up his pants. He swam in the water fully clothed with his pants duck taped to his shoes for about an hour, and then insisted that we go crab fishing. He picked a spot under a bridge where a local person informed us that we shouldn't eat anything fished from that location. Larry managed to catch about 4 tiny crabs (no fishing license) roughly the color of tree bark which he brought back home and cooked. Larry insisted they were delicious and we should eat some (no one else did). Larry then wanted to catch more crabs, and the friend we were visiting declined so Larry threw a fit complaining that he never got to choose group activities. Larry likes to make things himself. He has a junkyard full of vehicles on his property that he keeps for projects. He is currently working on a vacuum truck because he wants to make a firing range in the hill behind his house, and his best solution to the excavation was to purchase a used vacuum unit and mount it to a trailer which he wants to vacuum out the soil with. The vacuum unit is a giant 600 pound monstrosity that came out of a sawmill factory for removing sawdust. He wants to hook it up to a propane tank and suck out the soil. He will not listen to any advice that it would be cheaper and easier to just rent a vacuum truck, or just go to a firing range. Some background on Larry: Larry has a lucrative trade job and he pulls roughly 250K per year. His house is currently under heavy renovation because he exploded it in a manner that I wish I could post but it would be too easy to identify him. He insisted that paying contractors was too expensive, so he has been doing the renovation himself. It is thus far extremely incomplete and he's living with his mother. Larry recently had a vasectomy reversed. His reasoning for the reversal was pain from "too much cum backing him up." Larry has received numerous complaints from the city about his accumulation of junk vehicles. His solution was to purchase a large excavator to build up berms around his junkyard. He didn't want to spend too much money so he purchased an excavator that doesn't work but was "easy to fix." He has since received complaints from the city about the excavator. He routinely calls me to ask "what the gently caress do they even expect me to do, I'm trying to work on the thing."
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May 14, 2021 01:46
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 07:43 |
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Larry has a sump pump in his basement for normal reasons. There is a bathroom directly adjacent to the sump but it doesn't have a light, so Larry regularly removes the lid from the sump basin so he can take a piss in it instead of just having a light installed in the bathroom, or just walking upstairs. The drain that exits outside smells extremely of piss.
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May 14, 2021 01:59
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And a real hero.
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May 14, 2021 02:08
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HOMO ERECTUS posted:this guy sure sounds like a real character if you ask me, a straight whackadoo!
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May 14, 2021 02:13
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Spinz posted:How does Larry make a quarter of a million dollars a year? He got the trade gig from his father, who is a multimillionaire. I can't go into specifics.
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May 14, 2021 02:21
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GoutPatrol posted:Are you sure his house exploding and making GBS threads in the garbage disposal are not related? Larry is extremely into the natural health thing so he started making ozonated olive oil which he planned to sell for a profit. While he was manufacturing the ozonated olive oil he was simultaneously making essential oils from something or other, I don't recall. The essential oils created a mist in his house which mixed with the ozone he was making and a spark or something caused the mixture to ignite and blew up his entire house. All of the windows blew out and started a fire which caused enough smoke to ruin every room in his house. He explained all of this to the fire department who decided this was all his fault so he got no insurance compensation which he is still extremely pissed about. How could he have known that could happen.
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May 14, 2021 02:35
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rotinaj posted:Would you please give us some sort of reason you classify Larry as a friend? I know you are picking and choosing things to talk about but so far this person does not sound like a good person to spend time with.
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May 14, 2021 02:49
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at one point our friends wife in Pensacola was drunk and rolling around on the floor going "he duct taped his pants to his shoes! he's so loving stupid" to which Larry replied "well when you put it like that it does sound kinda dumb..."
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May 14, 2021 03:50
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Bula Vinaka posted:AFAIK, home owners insurance will pay for any damage to a house, even if it's the homeowner's fault. They will not cover the damage if they determine that it was caused deliberately... in other words, fraud, in order to get a new house or free renovations or something like that. It also doesn't cover floods from natural causes... you need flood insurance for that. (I.e., burst pipe is covered, basement flooding from huge rain storm isn't.)
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May 14, 2021 14:53
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Luvcow posted:just wondering about the sink making GBS threads situation. like does larry climb up on the counter and hang his rear end into the sink and poo poo or does he poo poo into a bucket and pour it in or maybe he shits in the broken toilet and then gently fishes it out with a little fish net and then carries it to the sink while leaving a little trail of lovely water behind him?
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May 14, 2021 14:54
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1redflag posted:Is Larry married? Cause he sounds like a dreamboat Larry is currently storing two busted woodchippers behind my father's house, and two busted tractors. The tractors have diesel engines that Larry wants to put in the woodchippers instead of just fixing the engines in the chippers, which are gas engines. Larry hates gas engines. My father currently has a zoning letter demanding he remove the junk so Larry is now paying a mechanic to hastily repair the chippers. He keeps telling me "they can't complain about the chippers if they work" The mechanic got the engines out of the tractors so I called Larry to ask if he could scrap the rest of the tractors to which he replied "are you crazy, those are good tractors"
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May 14, 2021 15:19
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Larry's preferred method of purchasing a car is to find one that doesn't drive but that he wishes to repair, get a ride to the car, and then call AAA and have them tow it back to his house for free. He does this at least 3 times a year. He started pushing me to let him use my tows so I had to lie and say I don't have an account with them anymore.
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May 14, 2021 17:23
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Larry keeps inexplicably breaking into my father's garage. He isn't taking anything, he just keeps breaking one of the panels on the garage door to unlock it and then he leaves all the lights on and the door wide open. My father keeps repairing it and Larry keeps doing it. My father told me yesterday if it happens again he'll call the sheriff but my dad doesn't call the police for anything so I doubt he will
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May 14, 2021 17:45
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Yesterday Larry sent me this image with no explanation I have no idea what this is supposed to be
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May 14, 2021 17:56
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:Ok......gonna need more details about this "ozonated olive oil". Why exactly did he feel the need to manufacture this stuff in his home? What was he planing on doing with it? 
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May 14, 2021 19:46
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Larry called me today to ask if I wanted 10 bee hives. He purchased 30 of them and he wants to get me started on our new bee keeping hobby. He said his goal is to get about 200 hives between him and a couple friends and drive down South to rent them out to farmers for $150 a pop. When I ran the calculation and told him that's only 30,000 before taxes and what seems like a full time job he sounded pretty disappointed. The thought of driving across the country with him and 200 beehives on the back of his truck does sounds like it might be worth it.
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May 15, 2021 20:50
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He never responded to the text about the ozonated olive oil. I think he's on to me.
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May 15, 2021 20:53
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Larry called to ask where the hell I am, said he's been sitting in his car outside for an hour. We didn't make any plans.
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May 17, 2021 17:59
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~Coxy posted:Why doesn't Larry use the excavator to build his shooting range?
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May 17, 2021 18:03
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I visited Larry yesterday and saw his bees and he seems to be an overnight bee expert. He was doing all kinds of poo poo with the hives, pulling frames, blowing smoke on the bees, wearing a bee keeping suit. He said he only got stung 4 times
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May 17, 2021 18:08
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 Larry sent me this picture this morning.
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May 19, 2021 17:55
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 07:43 |
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Spinz posted:I like your avatar
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May 19, 2021 19:22
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