Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
The Voice of Labor

please order whatever you would like

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

The Voice of Labor

Khanstant posted:

nnnmmmm check, please!

I have checked you. you have insufficient savings to live off of in your dotage and you have manifold health problems resulting from a sedentary lifestyle

The Voice of Labor

Mormon Nailer posted:

Yes uh, what are the specials, uh, tonight?

everything is special.

please, order whatever you would like

The Voice of Labor

Mormon Nailer posted:

I'd like an end to suffering

*gives you a huge rear end that is riddled in with bedsores and hemorrhoids*

there is your suffering end

The Voice of Labor

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

some gin and some non-descript juice please.

here is your glass of ginilsung may it lead you to socialism

The Voice of Labor

prepuce repurposed posted:

I'd like the house burg, hold the ranch pls

the bleeding burger is hemophiliac and deformed as a result of generations of inbreeding. the titles for several ranches are in its name

The Voice of Labor

biosterous posted:

giant powerful food orb, please

finally, an order that makes some kind of sense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxOkeLQohC0

The Voice of Labor

*a muscular shirtless beard man walks up to you and says "more beard at this table!"*

*his intonation is unambiguous, he says this as a declaration, not as a question*

The Voice of Labor

while I will prepare for you whatever you ask for in this instance I must ask you to first consider that beard man is not hydrated by oil, but by love.

*hands you tin of beard luxuriant, a small brush and a small comb*

The Voice of Labor

*your bowl of what appears to be minestrone is topped by a monkey's paw. the first finger begins to curl as the bowl is placed in front of you*

The Voice of Labor

nut posted:

ya waiter there’s a monkey paw in my soup

the waiter asks "whaddaya wanna do about it?"

The Voice of Labor

Elmnt80 posted:

Can I get a chocolate malt?

*a chocolate lab comes to your table dressed in an adorable k9 waiter outfit. before you are able to express your disappointment at your order being misheard you notice the dog is pulling a little red wagon in which is a chocolate malt replete with a whipped cream swirl and a maraschino cherry*

The Voice of Labor

fps_nug posted:

can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pastrami
and vodka

a plate of feathers and a half pint of stolis for you!

The Voice of Labor

Escape From Noise posted:

Neverending pasta and breadsticks.

*hands you an apron, points you towards the kitchen*

The Voice of Labor

biosterous posted:



and i want sprinkles, but not one the whole thing



all else is irrelevant sprinkles are now the whole thing, everything all is sprinkles sprinkles are the monad and the construct. it seems your specificity was not matched by you fat fingering of one and on

The Voice of Labor

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

I want a big plate of fried alligator assholes with a side of chitterlings and stewed okra

the line cook laughs uncontrollably as he skewers pig and gator anuses with okra forming an okra cored rear end in a top hat kebab which he then pan fries. as the plate is handed to you you notice the sign reading "should you be unwilling or unable to finish your meal management reserves the right to feed you to the hobgoblin" you then notice the hobgoblin sitting in the corner smirking

The Voice of Labor

nut posted:

I wish…this was just normal soup and that nothing else about the universe

the second finger on the monkey's paw curls. the server makes no attempt to remove the paw from the soup

The Voice of Labor



The Voice of Labor posted:

*your bowl of what appears to be minestrone is topped by a monkey's paw. the first finger begins to curl as the bowl is placed in front of you*

The Voice of Labor

I do not run this establishment to fatten my wallet at the expense of the dignity and value of its staff. unionize away though be forewarned that the hobgoblin is a right to work libertarian scab

The Voice of Labor

*hollers to the pantry staff "looks like a we're getting a run on monkey paw soup"*

*the monkeys grow increasingly agitated*

The Voice of Labor

Twenty Four posted:

One Manwich, extra man please!

manish is obtained through discipline, meditation and thought. once you have obtained manishness, however, I will be happy to send rapper e-40 over to your table to instruct you on how to be extra manish

The Voice of Labor

nut posted:

I apologize for my disregard for fusion cuisine and eat my soup

*as you debate leaving a tip, you could swear the last extended finger of the paw is pointing at you from the bottom of the bowl*

The Voice of Labor

Buttchocks posted:

I demand to be seated away from the monkey pit.

*the hoblgoblin pats its lap and licks its lips*

the monkey pit is directly underneath the dining area. all tables are equally proximal to the monkey pit. you may have any open, bussed and set table that you like but I would advise against table 8 which has holes cut out in the floor underneath it so the monkeys can stick their hands/stubs up through the floor

The Voice of Labor fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jun 15, 2021

The Voice of Labor

Mormon Nailer posted:

I would enjoy a single slice of watermelon, salted.

like, just regular salt? not li hing mui powder or tajin or anything?

do you want table salt or sea salt, do you want sodium chloride or like ammonium chloride or some other kind of salt?

The Voice of Labor

Nosfereefer posted:

i'll just have the protection money, unless you want stabby tony over here to get stabby

you and your friends have a seat at table #8 and I'll be with you in a moment. would you care for a bowl of soup while you wait?

The Voice of Labor

How Wonderful! posted:

*beckons you over, wiggles eyebrows*
how much to gently caress the hobgoblin

normally I would be opposed to sex trafficking my employees but the little turd has made its views on labor rights pretty clear so I guess five bucks

The Voice of Labor

Mormon Nailer posted:

Nicotine salts, please, and a ziploc of your finest pruno.

one number three coming up

*the watermelon slice is in the shape of a skull with the seeds as teeth*

The Voice of Labor

nut posted:

I do the ET touch fingers thing with it and make a quiet final wish in my mind

*the finger closes*

the management hopes your wish comes true with minimal unexpected tragically ironic consequences

The Voice of Labor

google THIS posted:

Btw is my virgin hobgoblin catering order ready for pickup?

talk to the guy at table 8. I think he said his name was tony

The Voice of Labor

Mormon Nailer posted:

Waiter! Waiter! Yes, can I gaze deep into your eyes please? I just want to feel a real human connection before I get turned into next week's special.

finish your number three and we won't have to wait until next week

The Voice of Labor

your friend sk posted:

bottle of red, bottle of white please

a strange request but whatever

*hands over bottle of marinara and bottle of alfredo

The Voice of Labor

Twenty Four posted:

No no, pass on the rap, I said I would like my leftovers wrapped up to go!

when you are full in your manishness you will master your own appetite. leftovers will not be a concern of yours.

The Voice of Labor

Manifisto posted:

spicy tofu noodles with very cold sake please

*a bowl of thick round wheat noodles interspersed with tofu strips all fried crispy golden brown. a bottle of shoyu and a jar of oelek. milk sake in a square wooden cup. the setting is almost complete*

*the monkeys under the floor start chanting/screeching "wee a boo"

*the setting is complete*

The Voice of Labor

Nosfereefer posted:

stop stalling and hand over th- *stabby tony leans in and mutters something* actually, soup sounds lovely

*two bowls of monkey paw soup are brought to you and tony, a finger on each paw curls as the bowls are set down

The Voice of Labor

Royal Updog posted:

enfold me in a universe of steak. i have $12 to my name

your money is no good here

*you are fed whole to an enormous cow*

The Voice of Labor

Ventral EggSac posted:

II'll do the creosote thanks

*gives carbonari secret gesture*

the wood is always knotty in the spring time

*repeats carbonari secret gesture then gestures towards back room*

The Voice of Labor

Uria aalge posted:

please may I have my just desserts?

*disco elysium keeps popping up as the last played game in your steam library*

The Voice of Labor

biosterous posted:

the last piece of gum from a pack that's been forgotten in a backpack for a few years please

sorry bud, best I can do is the bubble gum packed with these old garbage pal kid cards

The Voice of Labor

Escape From Noise posted:

I'll have the questionable wild mushrooms salad please

*after picking out the deadly aminitas you're left with some fly ridden russulas and an absolutely unheroic amount of weakly psychoactive panaeolus*

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

The Voice of Labor

Mormon Nailer posted:

I'll have a single glass of tap water, room temperature, and cyanide, please.

the only solution to these repeated cries for help is entrepreneurship

*hands over deed and keys*

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply