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please order whatever you would like |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 21:31 |
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 04:43 |
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Khanstant posted:nnnmmmm check, please! I have checked you. you have insufficient savings to live off of in your dotage and you have manifold health problems resulting from a sedentary lifestyle |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 22:15 |
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Mormon Nailer posted:Yes uh, what are the specials, uh, tonight? everything is special. please, order whatever you would like |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 22:15 |
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Mormon Nailer posted:I'd like an end to suffering *gives you a huge rear end that is riddled in with bedsores and hemorrhoids* there is your suffering end |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 22:26 |
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Displeased Moo Cow posted:some gin and some non-descript juice please. here is your glass of ginilsung may it lead you to socialism |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 22:29 |
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prepuce repurposed posted:I'd like the house burg, hold the ranch pls the bleeding burger is hemophiliac and deformed as a result of generations of inbreeding. the titles for several ranches are in its name |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 22:33 |
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biosterous posted:giant powerful food orb, please finally, an order that makes some kind of sense https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxOkeLQohC0 |
# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 22:34 |
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*a muscular shirtless beard man walks up to you and says "more beard at this table!"* *his intonation is unambiguous, he says this as a declaration, not as a question* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 02:04 |
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while I will prepare for you whatever you ask for in this instance I must ask you to first consider that beard man is not hydrated by oil, but by love. *hands you tin of beard luxuriant, a small brush and a small comb* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 02:23 |
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*your bowl of what appears to be minestrone is topped by a monkey's paw. the first finger begins to curl as the bowl is placed in front of you* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 02:27 |
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nut posted:ya waiter there’s a monkey paw in my soup the waiter asks "whaddaya wanna do about it?" |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 03:05 |
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Elmnt80 posted:Can I get a chocolate malt? *a chocolate lab comes to your table dressed in an adorable k9 waiter outfit. before you are able to express your disappointment at your order being misheard you notice the dog is pulling a little red wagon in which is a chocolate malt replete with a whipped cream swirl and a maraschino cherry* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 03:09 |
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fps_nug posted:can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pastrami a plate of feathers and a half pint of stolis for you! |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 03:17 |
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Escape From Noise posted:Neverending pasta and breadsticks. *hands you an apron, points you towards the kitchen* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 03:18 |
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biosterous posted:
all else is irrelevant sprinkles are now the whole thing, everything all is sprinkles sprinkles are the monad and the construct. it seems your specificity was not matched by you fat fingering of one and on |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 04:27 |
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:I want a big plate of fried alligator assholes with a side of chitterlings and stewed okra the line cook laughs uncontrollably as he skewers pig and gator anuses with okra forming an okra cored rear end in a top hat kebab which he then pan fries. as the plate is handed to you you notice the sign reading "should you be unwilling or unable to finish your meal management reserves the right to feed you to the hobgoblin" you then notice the hobgoblin sitting in the corner smirking |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 04:31 |
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nut posted:I wish…this was just normal soup and that nothing else about the universe the second finger on the monkey's paw curls. the server makes no attempt to remove the paw from the soup |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 04:37 |
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The Voice of Labor posted:*your bowl of what appears to be minestrone is topped by a monkey's paw. the first finger begins to curl as the bowl is placed in front of you* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 04:38 |
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I do not run this establishment to fatten my wallet at the expense of the dignity and value of its staff. unionize away though be forewarned that the hobgoblin is a right to work libertarian scab |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 06:58 |
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*hollers to the pantry staff "looks like a we're getting a run on monkey paw soup"* *the monkeys grow increasingly agitated* |
# ¿ Jun 13, 2021 19:21 |
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Twenty Four posted:One Manwich, extra man please! manish is obtained through discipline, meditation and thought. once you have obtained manishness, however, I will be happy to send rapper e-40 over to your table to instruct you on how to be extra manish |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 01:49 |
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nut posted:I apologize for my disregard for fusion cuisine and eat my soup *as you debate leaving a tip, you could swear the last extended finger of the paw is pointing at you from the bottom of the bowl* |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 01:51 |
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Buttchocks posted:I demand to be seated away from the monkey pit. *the hoblgoblin pats its lap and licks its lips* the monkey pit is directly underneath the dining area. all tables are equally proximal to the monkey pit. you may have any open, bussed and set table that you like but I would advise against table 8 which has holes cut out in the floor underneath it so the monkeys can stick their hands/stubs up through the floor The Voice of Labor fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jun 15, 2021 |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 01:56 |
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Mormon Nailer posted:I would enjoy a single slice of watermelon, salted. like, just regular salt? not li hing mui powder or tajin or anything? do you want table salt or sea salt, do you want sodium chloride or like ammonium chloride or some other kind of salt? |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:05 |
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Nosfereefer posted:i'll just have the protection money, unless you want stabby tony over here to get stabby you and your friends have a seat at table #8 and I'll be with you in a moment. would you care for a bowl of soup while you wait? |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:06 |
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How Wonderful! posted:*beckons you over, wiggles eyebrows* normally I would be opposed to sex trafficking my employees but the little turd has made its views on labor rights pretty clear so I guess five bucks |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:09 |
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Mormon Nailer posted:Nicotine salts, please, and a ziploc of your finest pruno. one number three coming up *the watermelon slice is in the shape of a skull with the seeds as teeth* |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:24 |
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nut posted:I do the ET touch fingers thing with it and make a quiet final wish in my mind *the finger closes* the management hopes your wish comes true with minimal unexpected tragically ironic consequences |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:27 |
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google THIS posted:Btw is my virgin hobgoblin catering order ready for pickup? talk to the guy at table 8. I think he said his name was tony |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:28 |
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Mormon Nailer posted:Waiter! Waiter! Yes, can I gaze deep into your eyes please? I just want to feel a real human connection before I get turned into next week's special. finish your number three and we won't have to wait until next week |
# ¿ Jun 15, 2021 02:29 |
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your friend sk posted:bottle of red, bottle of white please a strange request but whatever *hands over bottle of marinara and bottle of alfredo |
# ¿ Jun 16, 2021 00:45 |
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Twenty Four posted:No no, pass on the rap, I said I would like my leftovers wrapped up to go! when you are full in your manishness you will master your own appetite. leftovers will not be a concern of yours. |
# ¿ Jun 16, 2021 00:50 |
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Manifisto posted:spicy tofu noodles with very cold sake please *a bowl of thick round wheat noodles interspersed with tofu strips all fried crispy golden brown. a bottle of shoyu and a jar of oelek. milk sake in a square wooden cup. the setting is almost complete* *the monkeys under the floor start chanting/screeching "wee a boo" *the setting is complete* |
# ¿ Jun 16, 2021 00:59 |
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Nosfereefer posted:stop stalling and hand over th- *stabby tony leans in and mutters something* actually, soup sounds lovely *two bowls of monkey paw soup are brought to you and tony, a finger on each paw curls as the bowls are set down |
# ¿ Jun 16, 2021 02:51 |
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Royal Updog posted:enfold me in a universe of steak. i have $12 to my name your money is no good here *you are fed whole to an enormous cow* |
# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 04:57 |
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Ventral EggSac posted:II'll do the creosote thanks *gives carbonari secret gesture* the wood is always knotty in the spring time *repeats carbonari secret gesture then gestures towards back room* |
# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 05:01 |
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Uria aalge posted:please may I have my just desserts? *disco elysium keeps popping up as the last played game in your steam library* |
# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 05:04 |
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biosterous posted:the last piece of gum from a pack that's been forgotten in a backpack for a few years please sorry bud, best I can do is the bubble gum packed with these old garbage pal kid cards |
# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 05:05 |
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Escape From Noise posted:I'll have the questionable wild mushrooms salad please *after picking out the deadly aminitas you're left with some fly ridden russulas and an absolutely unheroic amount of weakly psychoactive panaeolus* |
# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 05:11 |
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 04:43 |
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Mormon Nailer posted:I'll have a single glass of tap water, room temperature, and cyanide, please. the only solution to these repeated cries for help is entrepreneurship *hands over deed and keys* |
# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 05:12 |