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We had houses in my irl high school in scotland back in the early 00's Nobody gave a poo poo about them though, and they meant absolutely nothing. So I dunno why jk rowling made them like the most important thing in the wizarding world. Probably because she's as dumb as a fart.
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Jul 27, 2021 18:32
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dee eight posted:the hat shouts "HUFFLEHUFF!" ready to witness
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Jul 27, 2021 18:37
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House Taco Bell! Live Mas!
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Jul 27, 2021 19:31
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I imagine there are at least ten crossover fanfics of Harry Potter and The Breakfast Club.
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Jul 27, 2021 21:54
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Dean Fogg in the show is dope as gently caress, but I bet Dumbledore also did magic LSD all the time
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Jul 27, 2021 22:26
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmzB_uVRsp0
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Jul 27, 2021 22:33
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Xenocides posted:Saw parents in a BDSM sex orgy. Hmm... that's a tough one. The orgy tells me it should be in the jock house, but the bdsm tells me that kid might enjoy some time with the dudes that sleep in the dungeons.
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Jul 27, 2021 22:58
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Just be cautious of Snuff House. They never seem to retain student numbers for some reason.
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Jul 27, 2021 23:11
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Hey, tobacco kills. For every aged wizard puffing on a pipe as long as they're tall, there's like 9 dead youngsters
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Jul 27, 2021 23:43
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sorting hat told me to go back to byob
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Jul 28, 2021 00:23
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wait A drat MINUTE why wasn't Hermione put into RAVENCLAW JK Rowling: Alright, my main characters are a Smart Girl, a Doofus, a Goody Two Shoes, and an Evil Dick. I have 4 houses... the Smart House, the Good House, the Doofus House, and the Evil House. Hmm. *thinking as hard as she possibly can* I'll put 3 of them into Gryffindor
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Jul 28, 2021 01:29
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JK only recognizes two houses despite the existence of others
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Jul 28, 2021 01:33
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Khanstant posted:JK only recognizes two houses despite the existence of others hahaha GOD drat
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Jul 28, 2021 01:37
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dee eight posted:the hat shouts "HUFFLEHUFF!" Come out to spra-ay.
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Jul 28, 2021 02:26
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Khanstant posted:JK only recognizes two houses despite the existence of others Seriously, I don't think there are are any major characters from the other 2
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Jul 28, 2021 02:35
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Schlong Connery posted:Seriously, I don't think there are are any major characters from the other 2 Luna Lovegood, the best character, is Ravenclaw 
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Jul 28, 2021 02:50
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*tugs collar* uhhhhh i mean i dunno anything about no wizard books
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Jul 28, 2021 02:50
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IShallRiseAgain posted:The Magicians is terrible because basically everyone in the story is hedonistic assholes. It ruins the message of the story because everything is lovely when you are a hedonistic rear end in a top hat. There is only one likable character in the story. The TV show makes everyone way less terrible. Also, the show removes the creepy scene where everybody has sex as animals that was in the book. The message of any wizard story is 'imagine you're a wizard, that's loving badass, whoa now you have even more powers, you are awesome, look at all this rad poo poo you could do with your powers'. ANY deviation from this is unforgivable and unpublishable.
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Jul 28, 2021 02:55
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Simone Magus posted:wait A drat MINUTE If I remember right Hermione was offered Ravenclaw but chose Gryffindor. Basically the same way Harry was offered Slytherin and turned it down. She tried to redeem the other houses later in the books but meh.
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Jul 28, 2021 02:56
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Hufflepuff is where all the tuggers are right?
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Jul 28, 2021 03:02
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Once upon a time I was just a broke genius who always felt on the outside leading a boring live barely smashing at all, but then one warm summer day I got an iMessage saying you are wizard!!! I dropped my iPhone 12 Pro Max in shock, shattering the precision crystal-clear sapphire glass to bits. "Oh gently caress! I said. I dropped the phone!" but when I reached up to pick it up, the screen was brand new and I got a $100 free iTunes credit in my account! "This is amazing", I said as I explored the App Store, reading the reviews of all the cool apps I could buy. "I'm a wizard, who has $100 to spend in the App Store. But do I want to leave the life where I am comfortable and seek out the unknown to grow my powers and become more awesome?" Just then I got a FaceTime from a girl wizard who has smoking hot boobs. "Hey I heard you're a wizard" she says, her voice crystal clear and her boobs popping in full Dolby Vision. "You should like, let me tutor you in the ways of magic, and like, have sex with me and other hot girl wizards". And I said '"I don't know if I want to leave the life that I have since I am comfortable". She said "Pfff if it is comfort that you are seeking wizards get free Steelcase chairs". I thought for a minute about Steelcase's superior adjustability and ergonomics and it really made up my mind. "Well okay, I said, but I hope I don't have to pay a terrible price for this power that I seek". Unfortunately I did, but Apple Card lets you repay it over a year of several small interest free payment periods and even included free Apple TV+, so I could enjoy the antics of my favourite astronaut, Buzz Aldrin, on the alternate history cinematic series For All Mankind. TO BE CONTINUED?!
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Jul 28, 2021 03:08
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The sorting hat is transphobic
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Jul 28, 2021 03:43
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The hat sorts people it has never met before into different groups based on stereotypes. It is sanctioned segregation.
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Jul 28, 2021 03:46
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The Sorting Scat, a huge pile of poo poo you sit on and it tells you whether you're inherently a neo Nazi or a worthless piece of poo poo (somehow different houses)
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Jul 28, 2021 03:48
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The Sort-Of Hat you can wear it, you know, i guess. if you really want to.
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Jul 28, 2021 04:11
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Bet it's awkward for whoever has to clean that crusty hat when it starts guilt tripping them because they never amounted to anything in their life after they argued with the hat and chose the wrong house as an 11yr old. Now here they are scrubbing the headmaster's jizz rag a brief seven years later because they thought "hufflepuff" would be a good life choice. Wonder if the hat gets a salary 🤔 Slayerjerman fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Jul 28, 2021 |
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Jul 28, 2021 04:30
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There should be a trashy US Southern Harry Potter instead of the up class one we have. Could be like Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fireball, etc. like more relatable stuff to the salt of the earth.
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Jul 28, 2021 04:46
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Xenocides posted:If I remember right Hermione was offered Ravenclaw but chose Gryffindor. Basically the same way Harry was offered Slytherin and turned it down. Wait, the hat just suggests what house you go into? And most people decide to follow the advice of a piece of clothing.
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Jul 28, 2021 05:24
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IShallRiseAgain posted:Every person who is obsessed with what house they would sort into would almost certainly sort into Hufflepuff. hufflepuff is the only house you want to get sorted into anyway. your other choices are tryhards, workalohics, and lawful evil. the other choice is live next to the kitchens and get high while you're at school and afterwards never get a job because nobody wants lazy rear end hufflepuffs so your adulthood continues to be living next to the kitchen and getting high... seems like a no brainer imo
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Jul 28, 2021 05:28
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Fur20 posted:tryhards, workalohics, and lawful evil. but enough about Gryffindor
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Jul 28, 2021 06:12
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Slayerjerman posted:Bet it's awkward for whoever has to clean that crusty hat when it starts guilt tripping them because they never amounted to anything in their life after they argued with the hat and chose the wrong house as an 11yr old. Why do you keep tormenting Hagrid with his origin story?
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Jul 28, 2021 06:22
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Weka posted:Wait, the hat just suggests what house you go into? And most people decide to follow the advice of a piece of clothing. Most people it is not a suggestion. It is a command. The hat knows all.
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Jul 28, 2021 06:23
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Meme Poker Party posted:Harry Potter is an isekai. 
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Jul 28, 2021 07:13
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sorting hat is just magical phrenology the sorting hat should be torn apart and burnt imo
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Jul 28, 2021 08:06
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I pissed in the hat and it screamed but I still did it (really had to go) and now it sorts people into wrong houses. Not even sure there even is a house called "Pisspiss"? Sorry I broke your hat Dumbledorf.
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Jul 28, 2021 09:55
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Mooey Cow posted:I pissed in the hat and it screamed but I still did it (really had to go) and now it sorts people into wrong houses. Not even sure there even is a house called "Pisspiss"? Sorry I broke your hat Dumbledorf. It still sings a song every year but no-one wants to hear it
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Jul 28, 2021 10:05
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Fur20 posted:hufflepuff is the only house you want to get sorted into anyway. your other choices are tryhards, workalohics, and lawful evil. the other choice is live next to the kitchens and get high while you're at school and afterwards never get a job because nobody wants lazy rear end hufflepuffs so your adulthood continues to be living next to the kitchen and getting high... seems like a no brainer imo Sounds p cool. Why do the wizards need to work anyway? Why get jobs? Like what do they need money for? Ron's family is depicted as being poor but you still see in their house they've got magic spells to handle all the chores and stuff. Theoretically they can make food and anything else they might need with magic.
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Jul 28, 2021 12:05
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vaginite posted:There should be a trashy US Southern Harry Potter instead of the up class one we have. Could be like Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fireball, etc. like more relatable stuff to the salt of the earth. There's a trashy Russian harry potter where they fly on vacuums and practice necromancy, idk if it helps
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Jul 28, 2021 12:24
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Schlong Connery posted:Why do the wizards need to work anyway? Why get jobs? Like what do they need money for? I always thought it was funny that the Weasley family was poor despite the fact that like ten of them have really nice jobs, including at least a couple of them in the wizard government. Hermione's parents are non magical dentists and they have plenty of money, how the hell do the Weasleys come out behind a couple of un-magiced tooth touchers?
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Jul 28, 2021 12:58
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What makes you think wizards get paid at all lol, jobs are just a status symbol.
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Jul 28, 2021 12:59
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