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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
If you keep your extra slim jim wrappers, you can use them to store any wrapperless slim jims you happen upon later on

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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Oh Don Piano posted:

Wear band aids on your nipples to prevent chafing

Lifehack: nipple band aids can also be used to prevent chafing in other areas

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Overthrow the government to avoid paying taxes.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

YeahTubaMike posted:

There's got to be a better way.

non useless lifehack i bought an actual nice sleep mask and it was worth getting used to wearing

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
LIFEHACK: Mommy won't let you buy the new video game? Ask daddy instead.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Eat all the raw chicken you want, you can't get salmonella from it. That's from salmon, stupid!

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Your dog is probably a better basketball player than you are. Just enter him in to win the big tournament! There's no rules against it!

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
You can smoke a fish, you can smoke a cigar, but can you smoke a fish cigar? Yes! And you should, if you don't want these TEN scary medical conditions!

Slide 1 / 14

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
If you run out of flies, lady bugs can be substituted in most recipes.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Order your pizzas uncut so you can cut them in half and not have to lie about only eating 2 slices last night

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
You never hear about "Above-ground treasure" do you? It's always buried! So just start digging, stupid!

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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
One tip speed-readers don't want you to know: Just skip every other sentence! You'll barely miss anything and double your reading speed. Still too slow? Skip every other page! If what they had to say was important they would have condensed their thoughts in to a single concise page.

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