r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Tenebrais posted:

Seems like a rare case of a poly/open relationship working when it probably shouldn't. How can you know your wife makes a habit of deliberately breaking up couples, be against it, and just leave it at that?

What are you gonna do, break up your own couple? That�s how she wins :tinfoil:

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 17:51

Pocky In My Pocket: Jan 27, 2005; Giant robots shouldn't fight!

Waiting until shes pregnant before deciding the name issue is a problem is both understandable and the problem. Because he cant exactly change his mind about having kida with her now

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:19

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

I mean there's no chance that the husband (and his family!) presented it as an ultimatum and fait accompli that she decided she would do her best to go along with just to keep the peace/support the relationship and she only now realises the decision is more than she can actually agree to.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:27

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Walh Hara posted:

Look, this is not difficult:

Can she change her mind? Yes, she can.
Is her husband justified in saying that she broke her word? Yes, obviously.

She can change her mind, but she shouldn't be surprised that her husband considers her an rear end in a top hat for doing so.

edit: to be clear, discussing this now can be both: a good thing to do, and an rear end in a top hat thing to do, at the same time. But in that case she's the rear end in a top hat for agreeing to something that she knew he found important when in fact she did not agree with it.

But she did agree with it... at the time. Then she changed her mind later on.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:28

Sir Sidney Poitier: Aug 14, 2006; My favourite actor

When I started reading the predecessor to this compilation thread I used to think the stupidity resided only in the questions people posed to the reddit community. Through reading comments there I've learned the true stupidity is in believing it's a community whose opinion is worth listening to.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:30

Pocky In My Pocket: Jan 27, 2005; Giant robots shouldn't fight!

Biplane posted:

But she did agree with it... at the time. Then she changed her mind later on.

Once the guy can no longer change his mind about having the child. If she does give the child her name hes going to resent it forever

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pocky In My Pocket posted:

Once the guy can no longer change his mind about having the child. If she does give the child her name hes going to resent it forever

Well hes an incredible dweeb for caring about it at all, shes better off without him. So ruled

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:39

Pocky In My Pocket: Jan 27, 2005; Giant robots shouldn't fight!

Probably, but irrelevent for her post. His request was clearly stated in advance, and he was happy to discuss/comprimise other issues but didnt want to budge on that one. If it was also something she wouldnt budge on she really should have made that clear before getting pregnant so they could both seperate and find suitable partners.

Unilaterally changing the terms of an agreement once people are locked into it is an rear end in a top hat move

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:44

Barudak: May 7, 2007

axolotl farmer posted:

No sympathy for this idiot. There is no such thing as babytrapping, men are responsible for their side of birth control.

Wrap it up, affairalailures!

People make fun of Drake* for pouring hotsauce in his used condoms but thats just good practices.

*There are 100% legitimate reasons to be skeeved out by him

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:46

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

I bet that dude's name ain't worth poo poo anyway

Like who are you, the Rockefellers? You're just some guy named Bob Dopplebop, who gives a gently caress if your dynasty continues

# ? Jan 27, 2022 11:58

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Biplane posted:

But she did agree with it... at the time. Then she changed her mind later on.

Yesterday I promised to pay you back the 100 bucks i owe you, since then I've changed my mind. Too bad, I guess, promises obviously have no validity past the moment they are made

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:01

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Yes your future child's name is the same as money borrowed and owed

Somehow, I'm not sure how

Anyway, yeah being annoyed at a sudden change of heart is valid on his part but they're adults who are having a kid together and need to learn to work together, and this is a new life she is building in her body and literally giving her entire physical self up to create so it's also valid for her to want her last name connected to it. They can compromise but he is too upset at not passing on only his name to do so. And since the only argument he has is 'but...the patriarchy says!' yeh he sucks.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 12:09 on Jan 27, 2022

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:06

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

steinrokkan posted:

Yesterday I promised to pay you back the 100 bucks i owe you, since then I've changed my mind. Too bad, I guess, promises obviously have no validity past the moment they are made

lmao are you for real

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:06

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

give me one reason to not hit the �this derail is sad� button

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:09

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Mx. posted:

lmao are you for real

Don't promise things you know you probably won't be able or willing to follow up on, hoping it will work itself out somehow, is just going to leave everybody worse off .

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:10

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

one day I wanna see the dashboard they give you guys

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:10

Barudak: May 7, 2007

teen witch posted:

give me one reason to not hit the �this derail is sad� button

Her last name is Wannacock

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:12

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

StrangersInTheNight posted:

I bet that dude's name ain't worth poo poo anyway

Like who are you, the Rockefellers? You're just some guy named Bob Dopplebop, who gives a gently caress if your dynasty continues

I actually slightly care about my last name because it�s a family name established four generations ago and the only person I know who has it and is not immediate family is some phone company CEO. I�d hate for that to be its legacy.

Not enough to actually jeopardize a relationship, but if the option to keep it is there, I�d take it.

E:

teen witch posted:

give me one reason to not hit the �this derail is sad� button

Oops sorry I missed the �not� there

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:25

empty sea: Jul 17, 2011; gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset

I saw a Dr. Scank had signed off on a rabies tag once when taking a dog's history. I have since dreamed of being so loving cool as to be called Mrs. Scank.

Alternate option, a Dr. McCool once sent us rads from his vet clinic. The gently caress I gotta do to be Mrs. McCool???

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:25

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

teen witch posted:

give me one reason to not hit the “this derail is sad” button

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:31

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

Sir Sidney Poitier posted:

When I started reading the predecessor to this compilation thread I used to think the stupidity resided only in the questions people posed to the reddit community. Through reading comments there I've learned the true stupidity is in believing it's a community whose opinion is worth listening to.

I will never not love the super rare ones that end up being "edit: oh poo poo reddit is agreeing with me, I must have really hosed up, laters"

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:44

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Barudak posted:

Her last name is Wannacock

It's Gaylord-Pnurtis you liar

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:47

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Mx. posted:

It's Gaylord-Pnurtis you liar

Please, Mr. Gaylord-Pnurtis is my fathers name. Just call me Dick

# ? Jan 27, 2022 12:57

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for wanting my daughters to wear nice dresses at their cousin's wedding?

quote:

My nephew is getting married in July and my husband, our daughters (19, 15, 4), and I were invited. We were told this is going to be a casual outdoor wedding at the park. My nephew's fiance is getting her wedding dress from a pawn shop and I have no idea where she's getting the bridesmaid dresses but I've seen them and they're not something that you'd expect to wear at a wedding. They're church dresses at best.

I told my daughters that I don't care if the bridesmaids or even the bride chooses not to look presentable but if we're going to a wedding on the other side of the country with family we haven't seen in at least 3 years, we're going to look good. I asked my older two what they were going to wear and my oldest showed me her prom dress and my middle said she couldn't decide and walked out of her room with 3 of her church/homecoming dresses. Two of them were $50 from a boutique near us and the third was from the Macy's children's section (middle is tiny). They're nice dresses but I would never let her wear them to a wedding.

I pulled out a dress that she wore at another wedding and told her I wanted her to wear that. She said no because her cousin said causal and she doesn't want to upstage anyone. I tried telling her it's their choice not to dress for the occasion and that I'm not paying for her to fly across the country just to wear any old dress. She also was upset that I'm taking her to get her hair, nails, and makeup professionally done before the wedding and we will be taking pictures while we're there.

She still refused and ran to tell my mom (nephew's grandma) that I won't let her wear what she wants and that I'm trying to upstage my nephew's fiance (I'm not trying to upstage anyone, I just want my daughters to look their best when they see family members that they haven't seen in years). My mom said I'm going overboard and to let the girls wear their church dresses. I told her my girls will be dressed formally no matter what everyone else is wearing and she threatened to buy my middle daughter a new dress to wear and take her nails and makeup off because she wants to follow the dress code.

My husband thinks I'm going overboard and I should let her wear what she wants but my oldest agrees with me.

We can't settle this so I wanted to know if I was wrong in this situation.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 13:20

Erainor: Dec 30, 2017; THUNDERDOME LOSER

I have to create a word....Auntzilla

Yup, she's an Auntzilla!

# ? Jan 27, 2022 13:28

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for wanting my daughters to wear nice dresses at their cousin's wedding?

A second 'zilla is about to hit the wedding

# ? Jan 27, 2022 13:29

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

empty sea posted:

Alternate option, a Dr. McCool once sent us rads from his vet clinic. The gently caress I gotta do to be Mrs. McCool???

please, call me Finn

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:04

Credulous Skeptic: Oct 31, 2012

its_my_birthday posted:

don't have sex with my bf who's mentally a child is p reasonable i guess

He has functioning autism - he's not a child

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:07

Xachariah: Jul 26, 2004

empty sea posted:

I saw a Dr. Scank had signed off on a rabies tag once when taking a dog's history. I have since dreamed of being so loving cool as to be called Mrs. Scank.

Alternate option, a Dr. McCool once sent us rads from his vet clinic. The gently caress I gotta do to be Mrs. McCool???

Oh hey that's kind of an interesting last name aside from being pretty cool. There's a legendary figure in Irish folklore/mythology/legend called Fionn mac Cumhaill (pronounced Finn McCool). Likely based on a historical figure as the last name is a real Irish family name. Probably anglicised at Ellis Island during the famine migration? So, uh, check Boston phone books?

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:08

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Agrikk posted:

Maybe not a sound but the more militant nut jobs in AA would say they needed to reset their day count.

Realtalk: I was once fed a chocolate that was unknowingly filled with that jelly/brandy stuff. I didn�t realize it until I felt that little thrill of booze as it went down and I admit I panicked. My home group and my sponsor agreed that since it was an honest mistake it �didn�t count as a relapse� and I didn�t continue to gobble all the chocolates or go on a bender, so I didn�t feel like I should reset my day count.

YMMV

People in my home group would call that a "freelapse".

(and no one would expect you to reset you day count).

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:22

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Xachariah posted:

Oh hey that's kind of an interesting last name aside from being pretty cool. There's a legendary figure in Irish folklore/mythology/legend called Fionn mac Cumhaill (pronounced Finn McCool). Likely based on a historical figure as the last name is a real Irish family name. Probably anglicised at Ellis Island during the famine migration? So, uh, check Boston phone books?

Why would anyone wanna be McCool when you can be CUM HAIL

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:30

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Credit to the op on r/bestofredditorupdates for compiling this one. It's fun.

r/CakeEater is a sub for people who are happily married and having affairs.

quote:

u/Miserable_Ad_7975 was a Cake Eater who had been having an affair with his AP (Affair Partner) for 6 years. Eventually, his AP's husband cottoned on and filed for a divorce. Worried that his wife would find out, he consulted r/adultery on how best to confess about 10 months ago.

There was one post before these three, but it was deleted before reveddit could archive it.

First post: Calm before the storm

quote:

Tried posting a few days ago but could not find post. Must be lost in cyberspace. Don�t even know if this is the right forum at the moment. In gist: Affair partner got served divorce papers out of nowhere two days ago at work. Her husband knows of us/me. It�s only a matter of time before my wife finds out. Don�t know if i have days or hours before the world as i know it is gone.

Took some time off work to spend time with my wife and two daughers. My body is in turmoil but strangly my mind is clear. It reminds me of the days leading up to my dad passing away. Time has slowed down and I am aware of all the things surrounding me. It�s a nice feeling. My day today was filled with observation of details and appreciation. My wifes smell and the clothes she wore, my daughters laughter, the color of the kitchen tiles, the dog, the yard. Feel blessed to have a healthy and beautiful family. What will my daughters think of me? I look at my wife that i love with all my heart and I see a woman who stood by me no matter what. We had our fair share of ups and downs like most couples but i never imagined a life without her. How do I justify a six year affair? Is that even forgivable?

I don�t know what the future holds. All i know is that the storm is coming and i am here basking in the sun until the clouds come rolling in. I plan to confess over the weekend. Even if I know the outcome I pray she does not leave me. This was so loving not worth it.

Any suggestions on how to confess? How do you start? W What do i tell my daugheters? I have already made an appointment with a therapist. What else can I do?

Wish me luck!

EDIT: Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. Some of them were hard to read. I dont have time to address all comments but will reply to few to clear some things. Yesterday I reached out to my brother for advice. He left his wife some years ago and married his affair partner. He seemed happy with her. The grass is not greener for him after all and he is planning on leaving her but is stuck at the moment. His advice is to not tell my wife and to minimize if confronted. He also said I should let down AP gently so she does not go nuclear on my wife and family. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

Comments:

quote:

I am not confused. Never was. I don�t have a problem separating love from sex. My heart is loyal to my woman and she is it for me.

quote:

So many responses about how I dont value my affair partner. Well, since I am on a pour my heart out roll here let me tell you about my affair partner. She is a gorgeous and a smart woman who is funny and open to different experiences. She is younger than my self and my wife. Fit. Seductive. Sexy as gently caress. But she is not my wife and does not even compare.

quote:

Six years on/off is a long time to invest. As I see it, she is an adult woman who made decisions to cheat with a married man on her husband for whatever reasons. Do I care for her? Yes, six years is a long time. Do I love her? No. Did I say to her I loved her? Yes, of course I did but I lied just as I lied to my wife. Did I use her? Yes, I did. Did she use me? Of course she loving did. We both knew we were played with fire.

quote:

The reason i strayed has nothing to do with my wife. We have a good sex life in general but I do have some kinks that she is not into at all. My affair partner was into the same kinks. That�s how we met and that is why the affair was ongoing for six years. What lead me to starting the affair was my wife being in an accidant that took a toll on her body. Sex was off the table for over a year. I gave in to temptation and when i discovered the affair partner shared my kink I was hooked. So all you people saying my wife was withholding sex and intimacy. No. My wife and I are very intimate. Having sex with my wife is making love. Sex with affair partner is just sex. My wife meets 90% of all my needs. My affair partner meets 10 %.

First Update: Never saw this comming

quote:

Throwaway. Posted once before. Check it for background. Think this is the sub I should be on.

I was prepared for all scenarios but not this one.

The doom day did not come in the shape I was expecting. AP ended up convinced her STBEX not to spill the beans to my wife in exchange for a smoth divorce. I thought I was in the clear.

Yesterday AP sent me a blurry photo of my wife in the car with another man. She claimed they walked hand in hand to his car from a store in a nearby town to ours. She got a shot of the plates too. After some digging I now know she is having an affair. Don�t know how long for sure but at least 6 months. He is a singe dad our age and is telling her to leave the marriage. She is telling him she loves him.

Afraid to confront her. Feel numb at the moment. Took a day off work. Any advice? I love her and want to stay married.

EDIT: Any advice on how to proceed? Should I just let it run it course and monitor? Should I confront and hope for the best? Should I confess to my affair and hope we all can come clean and make way for a new marriage? I am so loving utterly confused! I have rehearsed the things I would say and do if she was to find out about MY affaris. I was not prepared for this poo poo!

quote:

Logically yes we are both getting our itches scratched. Whats the big deal?

I am not ruled by logic at this moment. Maybe later but now my emotions are overpowering every logic. never in my life have I experienced this type of emotional and physical distress. I can�t even think straigt. Never thought I was gonna bowl my eyes out and throw up on the carpet.

quote:

I am desperate to talk this out to know why this happend and how invested she really is in this peace of poo poo. If she is doing this out of revenge maybe I have a chance cause if so she does feel something for me at least. I can�t imaginge her being emotionless throwing away over 20 years. I know this woman like I know my self. Deep down she�s hurt but also so very stubborn and proud. I just want to know if she knew about my affair why the hell did she not confront me? I would have chosen her over AP in a nanosecond. And what the hell is she hoping to find with this dush? He is no better than me, sleeping with a married woman. Ah gently caress! I am trying to respect her wish to have some space but I am desperate desperate desperate to just talk to her.

quote:

Yeah I don�t know how I feel about being on the other side. Never had fantasies about my wife loving other men. We had a good sex life minus my kinks she was not aware of (hence the LTAP). I am thinking what do I have to lose? There can be only two outcomes. She loves him she leaves. She loves me she stays. I am hoping this is just a fling and nothing serious.

(Interesting how his story changed from her not being into his kinks to her not being aware of his kinks)

Second Update: UPDATE Never saw this comming

quote:

My marriage seems to be over.

Confronted wife this past weekend. Sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was.

She was cought off guard. Went to the bathroom for ten minutes. When she came out she looked me straight in the eyes and said "I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce".

Next days were a blure. I tried to talk to her but she shuts me down. She has moved into the spare bedroom and is making appointments with law firms. Has told our two girls. I have signed up for emergency therapy. Am on meds for dealing with anxiety and lack of sleep. This is surreal. Heard her talk to him last night and cut the internet cord. Kind of crazy cause I need loving internet for work and she just switched to her phone. Ahh man! So many emotions are running through me.

I made love to her past week and today she is a total stranger. How does this happend? How can she not feel ANY loving emotion? Over 20 years GONE. All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, plans for our future GONE. JUST LIKE THAT. NO LOOKING BACK.

Feel so blindsided and the only person I can talk to is my brother who lives across the country. Sorry to vent here to you fine people on here. Just need to get this out.

quote:

�Made love to her last week�How does she not feel any emotion?�

This is simple, she has learned how to separate love and sex. She has sex with you but loves her AP. You taught her well.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:51

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Credit to the op on r/bestofredditorupdates for compiling this one. It's fun.

r/CakeEater is a sub for people who are happily married and having affairs.

First post: Calm before the storm

Comments:

First Update: Never saw this comming

(Interesting how his story changed from her not being into his kinks to her not being aware of his kinks)

Second Update: UPDATE Never saw this comming

God drat that last quote :discourse:

# ? Jan 27, 2022 14:54

Doctor Butts: May 21, 2002

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for wanting my daughters to wear nice dresses at their cousin's wedding?

r/relationships: They're church dresses at best.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:05

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

OhAreThey posted:

People in my home group would call that a "freelapse".

(and no one would expect you to reset you day count).

"Freelapse" sounds like the term for when your colon prolapses out while massively straining, but then gets sucked back into your abdomen without medical intervention.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:08

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

lmao that he literally cut the cable he used for his work internet connection and she just picked up the call on her cell hahahaha

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:11

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Credit to the op on r/bestofredditorupdates for compiling this one. It's fun.

r/CakeEater is a sub for people who are happily married and having affairs.

First post: Calm before the storm

Comments:

First Update: Never saw this comming

(Interesting how his story changed from her not being into his kinks to her not being aware of his kinks)

Second Update: UPDATE Never saw this comming

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i3zrzyLOCw

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:14

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I love seeing the cool, logical mister "I've got my very good reasons, everyone else is just overemotional" type get increasingly agitated and self-destructive as emotions overwhelm them.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:15

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Really starting to wonder what those kinks were

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 17:51

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

teen witch posted:

Really starting to wonder what those kinks were

My favorite part of that is he apparently never asked his wife? Like he starts off saying she doesn't share the kinks but then a later update admits she doesn't know about them?

# ? Jan 27, 2022 15:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »