quote:

I do a majority of the housework, and I’m okay with this. I genuinely don’t mind it. My issue was not with wanting more help from him. It was just because I felt like he didn’t appreciate it.

I’m a nurse who’s been working shifts that are longer than usual (no biggie). So when I got home there was a lot of dishes in the sink since I’ve just wanted to shower and sleep when I got home the past few days.

And my husband says, “I’m not sure if you’ve been waiting for those dishes to do themselves, but spoiler alert, they’re not going to”. I told him “no they aren’t, so you better get on em”. He laughed and we moved on. I went to shower, came back and did the dishes.

He then says there’s something he needs to talk to me about, and he looked really serious. I thought he was gonna ask for a divorce or something.

But he said something along the lines of, “honey, I know you’ve been working late this past week, and I understand you’ve got a lot on your plate at work. But I’ve had to eat cup of noodles and hot pockets these last few night”. So he basically told me I had been “slacking” and he was “paying the price for it”. I told him that he was perfectly capable of finding something else himself. And we argued a bit then made up.

But I decided to just stop doing chores or anything. And the house became a mess, he’s been whining about the TV dinners he’s been eating. And since I haven’t been grocery shopping we’re also getting low on those. He finally broke and apologized for not being more appreciative. He’s since changed his tune.

But he told me that I was acting like a, “B-word for those few weeks”. I feel it was the only way to get him to be more appreciative though.

It lasted a few weeks. Not months. That was a typo.

We both work full time

quote:

I force myself to go to the gym, I have all kinds of tactics in place and I am happy when I showed up and try the exercises as good as I can. If I am tired, unmotivated, I do it. Look past the people that go there for small talk and exercise.

So I was training in an unmotivated state and I just wanted the exercises to be over and I did not put the weights back to where they "belonged" immediately, so one of the gym staff approached me and told me to put them away.

I said, yeah, soon. I wanted to come back to my small setup of weights later.

So he approached me again, shouted through the gym for everyone to hear that I had to listen to him and otherwise he'd get me thrown out and some other threats.

Now here probably most agree that he is the rear end in a top hat. But this is not about this. Because he later added: "You are not at home".

Of course, you could read this as an insult as in "your home is a mess you freak", but let's just interpret it as "we have a plan here of how things have to happen" and he is right. I am not at home. But I also think that I cannot always be my best self when I go out of my way to execute in spite of a huge lack of motivation, tired and all of this. There is only so much motivation and I put it into coming there and executing my plan.

Now it is hard enough for people to exercise continuously if they took a long break, shouldn't gyms encourage people for "showing up" and trying their best as in "yes, you did not move the weights back (sth. the overpaid staff should do imo, but I digress), but that's okay, you try your best and we want you to succeed".

They have all of those motivational posters there saying "You can do it, just one more repetition" and so on.

AITA?

spouse posted:

I had a question about this situation, though I feel I already know the answer. I have next to no experience with the legal system beyond traffic violations. When the cops pick her up for escaping court ordered rehab, will the court most likely send her back to rehab and *then* prison for the violation, or just straight to prison?

Also, her sister getting into drugs is very likely because she had to play Anna and never got to be Elsa when they played Frozen. This is all OP's fault.

quote:

My fiance of 3yrs is widowed. She plays this game called Magic the Gathering. She's really into it and won't let anyone forget that the card game is how she met her late husband. I wouldn't mind this so much, but the amount of time, space, money, and attention she puts into this game is ridiculous. Seems like new cards come out all the time and she always takes the kids to the store and racks up hundreds in cards. Her eldest seems to also be into it now and she won't stop talking about how his father was "the best" which makes me roll my eyes. It's literally a child's game with fantasy fairytale characters. It is embarrassing.

Once I picked her up from a night at the store and saw she was the only female there. It makes me upset that she's having fun with other men. The basement she has is filled with totes with these cards she never touches, but won't get rid of. She finally agreed to thin some of them out was able to sort through the ones she wanted and put some aside to sell. I came across this huge box and she freaked out. Told me she'd never sell it as it was her former husband's cards and she was saving those for the kids. I told her to just get rid of her husband's tote if she's not going to touch it and she got pissed. She got more mad when I told her she needs to grow up and move on. This isn't normal the amount of stuff she has for a game nobody has heard of.

It is obvious she has some weird obsession, she wants attention from the men at the store, and she needs therapy. It's also sad her son is into it. He should he a normal kid playing sports or video games. She left for work next day and I was upset. I talked to some friends and they said to just donate them since she'd never notice, it'd give me space, and maybe it'd give her some clarity how her quality of life won't change. So I took some totes and her husband's to a pawn shop. They actually gave me over a grand for them! Flash forward, she noticed that some totes were missing. She asked me where they went and I was honest with her, but that I got a decent amount back. It'll help pay for our honeymoon. She blew her top, cursing at me and told me that it was none of my BUSINESS, those were her children's, and those cards were irreplaceable. I offered to just buy them again when we have more space, but she told me some of the cards were thousands of dollars now and were extremely old, which I still have a hard time believing that they were worth that much.

Apprently some cards are put together her ex husband did and she can never replicate. She now won't talk to me and says she doesn't want to get married. My parents think she's being ridiculous and that I've dodged a bullet. Her sister called me and told I was an rear end in a top hat and she should sue me for the cards worth. I've offered to pay for it and go to therapy with her, but she has blocked me as of this morning. I feel I was well within my right to stand up for myself and for her mental health.

quote:

My girlfriend and I have not been together for long, only about 3 months. She is a mother of two small children (3M & 4F). I have never had a problem with her having children, I haven't even met them yet.

We have been having unprotected sex since about the second date. She was upfront with me that she is not on birth control. I figured we would be okay because she tells me when she thinks she is about to ovulate and I pull out during those times. I figure she knows a lot about when she is ovulating since she has two kids.

Well apparently she ovulated early and now she is pregnant. I told her I absolutely cant have a child and that if she wants to stay together she must get an abortion. She feels strongly that she doesn't want an abortion. I remember in passing her telling me in the past she could never get an abortion but I never thought it would come to anything like this.

She claims I'm trying to force her to get an abortion. I assured her that is not the case, but that if she continues with this pregnancy I will have no choice but to remove myself from the situation as I am positive I'm not ready to be a father, I still live with my mom and I'm only working freelance positions part time. I pointed out to her that she already has two kids. I promised we could have a child later on in life. Nothing I say is working. When I gave the ultimatum she cried and asked if I really want to dump her and be with other girls. I assured her I do not, I only want to be with her, but I just can't be a father now.

She just told me a couple of hours ago that even if I break up with her that she can't go through with an abortion. Even multiple phone calls of me pleading did not change her mind. I really don't want to lose her but I know I can't stick around if she continues with this pregnancy. What should I do?

Tldr; Girlfriend (24F) is pregnant by me (20M) and is trying to force me to become a father by refusing to get an abortion. I do not want to lose her, what should I do?

quote:

I started a new job at a start up about a month ago and it's been a wild ride so far. I come from a F100 finance company, so we're all about political correctness, diversity, all that poo poo so it's a different beast here. I've been enjoying the work here, since it's a bigger scope and more hands on with the software.

I have a white coworker who I work with in my department. For background, I'm the only Asian employee, everyone else is white. This week he came into the office and said good morning trashcanpandas-san. I told him I'm not Japanese, and then he said it's a reference to Karate Kid. I didn't press further, since I thought it was a one off thing. 1) He then asked me about if Asian languages all sound the same since they're Asian and have the same written words in every language. I asked him if the white motherland languages all sound the same and have the same written words and he looked at me with confusion.

2) Afterwards while leaving for the day, he said goodbye trashcanpandas-san again, and I said goodbye colonizer. He asked me what that meant and I said, "Oh, haven't you seen Pocahontas? It's a reference to that."

AITA for thinking his joke was offensive to me as the only POC in the office and responding the way I did? He's also a vocal antivaxer and hardcore Christian with conservative values from our conversations the past month.

EDIT: Trashcanpandas is my username. That's actually a replacement for my name in the conversation. So if my name was John, he called me John-san.

Note: my name is not John

TheMathyFolf posted:

quote:

so long story short I haven't gotten along with my mother-in-law over the 8 years I've been with my wife. we tried to make amends and we were on civil terms and things were okay when we had to deal with each other.

cut to a few like 4 months back I was looking for a car and she happened to stumble on one. I promptly went and looked at it. I had $2900 because I had to dip into my car savings for bills. the car was 3000. she told me she could lend me the 100 as long as I could pay it back. I told her that we were swamped in bills so it would take some time. she said that would be fine she understood. at the time I just got of college so I didn't have a job I was looking. I told her as soon as I got one I would work at paying her back.

cut to two months ago, I found out my wife is pregnant so we had to completely rechange how we were doing a lot of things. on top of the bills, we were still swamped in. I also ran into several car troubles with the same car and now am at least $600 in repairs.

here recently she has been on me every day she wants the money and no matter what i tell her or explain to her, ive been met with cant the baby wait they need it more. ( they dont)

today i was told i need to be a man a deal with the money i owe them and told that i need to grow up. when i explained that ive been staying broke because of bills, repairs, and getting ready for our child.
ive remained calm and civil till now but i can't anymore her disrespecting me, and asking me to put my baby last.

this woman has been a horrible mother to her own daughter, and i want to make sure we give ours the best we can. i would give more details of what type of person she is but i would exceed the 3000 limits.

quote:

I (35M) recently had a friend pass away unexpectedly from COVID. My friend (61M) was nearly twice my age however we met at a social event for gay men and struck up a friendship based on our shared love of 80s TV shows (particularly the Golden Girls). My friend, lets call him Jack, was estranged from his family because he divorced his wife and came out as gay when his kids were teenagers. This was back in the 90s and things weren't as accepting as they are now for gay people, so he faced brutal social isolation and rejection from his children after he came out. He told me he truly thought he was straight when he married his wife but through the course of their marriage he realized he was gay.

After Jack was rejected by his friends and family he moved to another state (my state) and found a gay friendly city and started a small business. His business was quite successful and he paid for his children's college education (even though they still didn't speak to him) and he remained estranged from them until his death. After he passed away his lawyer contacted me to let me know that because he never reconciled with his children, and their nasty conduct towards him well into their adult years, he decided to only give them a token amount in his will. The vast majority of his money was given to his friends who he said he considered his true family.

Since we were very close friends, he left me a considerable sum of money in his will. I think the amount I was left drew the ire of his children/ex-wife and they are saying that he robbed them of a normal family and life and they deserve the money for the suffering he put them through. WIBTA if I told them to shove it (as I would like to) and keep the money regardless?

OP posted:

Wish it was simple for me to cut him a check. Funds are around 850K. I am reading the replies and this seems more serious than we thought.

quote:

I have been talking to a female friend who I have known for about 2 years now. We would often use playful banter and recently I started to do online dating which I am relatively new at.

I have had pretty bad luck with my dates and I was simply ranting to her about how dry my dating life is. I consider myself to be a nice guy and with the handful of dates that I have been on, they have all ended up in the friendzone. So as a thought experiment, I simply said "What if I just stop being a nice guy and take on the polar opposite and be the bad guy for once?"

I told her I was obviously joking about this, but it was just me letting off some steam. She took it as me asking for her advice which I clearly wasn't. She also took it personally which I don't really understand how that could have been taken as an insult. For context, I would often rant to her about different things and this was no different. When I want advice, I will directly ask and she knows this. I asked what makes this any different from all of my other rants? She says that I am sounding like a jerk to which I said I wouldn't actually act on this, this is just me exploring what I need to do to get out of the friendzone.

Long story short, I apologized for how I acted but she cannot move on with being my friend anymore. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Edit: It seems a lot of people want to add random facts to validate their own responses. You are alll entitled to your own opinions, but it doesn't make them right. Also, therapy? Really? How would that help my dating lol

Edit 2: I'm done with this thread. Y'all are lacking sense of reality

quote:

So I was due with my second baby in December but due to complications, am going to be induced this Monday. I had maternity photos scheduled for the end of November and when I tried to reschedule, the photographer didn’t have any availability. I was scrambling to find another photographer and I found one and I LOVE her work.

The only thing is, the first photographer I had booked had a studio and I wanted a maternity boudoir session. This new photographer has gorgeous maternity boudoir in her portfolio but it’s outside and it’s just too cold for that now. She agreed to try to rent space but said it might be hard on such short notice. I paid her fee ($595) and agreed to pay the studio rental fee as well. She did find one, but they have a two hour minimum. She felt bad sticking me with the whole cost so she said she would go “halfsies” with me, which added an extra $120 to my total (she paid the whole fee of $240 and billed me my half).

My session was supposed to be at 11:30 today but my childcare for my older child fell through so I figured I would just bring her with me and bribe her with candy to sit quietly. The photographer had been there since 10:30 because it was a two hour block so I figured I would just go early but when I got there at 11, the photographer was in the studio with another client! The studio I paid for! Then the owner of the studio told me that my older child was not allowed in the studio during boudoir sessions (you have to be 18 according to their policy) and asked if Mary (the photographer) had sent me the policy packet. I said no and the owner didn’t really care, just said older kid couldn’t come in. I start getting upset at the owner and Mary comes into the reception area and I tell her how could she not tell me you had to be over 18? Mary said she did email me the policies but since I never mentioned having an older kid, let alone one that would be coming with me, she didn’t see a reason to specify since I said it would just be me.

In the end, my mom came to watch older kid and Mary did my photos but I was supposed to have an hour session and I only got 25 minutes because of the older kid. I saw the proofs and they’re beautiful but I’m still mad that 1) I paid for the studio where Mary had another client who probably didn’t have to pay for the space, 2) my kid wasn’t allowed and she caused me extra stress about it and 3) told me that she wouldn’t photograph my newborn because of my behavior with the owner of the studio. I filed a chargeback for the full amount for the above reasons and now Mary is suing me for the session cost and half of the studio. I don’t know what to do and she won’t give me my photos! Mary has me blacklisted with the other photographers in the area now and my mother says it’s no surprise after the way I acted so I better get good at using a camera for my own photos. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

OP posted:

I didn’t get any photos! I saw proofs that had a big ugly watermark all over them but she hadn’t finalized anything yet. Now I can’t even see them on the internet site she sent me to look at them at and I asked where it went and she said she would deliver the photos when she was paid so I didn’t get any photos

OP posted:

How can you LEGALLY not give me photos of ME

kazr posted:

I mean...Mary didn't send the policy packet, sounds like it's her gently caress up and a hard lesson to learn in running a legitimate business. It's not the client's burden to figure out the nitty gritty of the place the person they're paying for picked. Better luck next time when professionally contracting out a location to a client.

Editing to say op should have walked and disputed or not paid from the get go. Hard lesson for everyone involved

quote:

Mary said she did email me the policies but since I never mentioned having an older kid, let alone one that would be coming with me, she didn’t see a reason to specify since I said it would just be me.

teen witch posted:

As someone who works with freelancers, I truly hate this OP. Like, on a “the rings are coming off” way.

OP posted:

No other photographer will work with me! I tried everyone I could find but one of them said the photography community is pretty small and she posted about it in a fb group with my name is that slander?

commenter posted:

Not when it’s accurate.

quote:

I (19 female) recently moved in with my boyfriend (20 male). Most of the expenses such as rent, food and furniture were paid from my money I've saved throughout my years in high school since it took some time for both of us to find a job.

I currently work in a supermarket which means I'm on my feet almost every day for 8 hours, sometimes I even work 9 or 10 hour shifts. My boyfriend starts work next month, which means he's home all the time playing games on my computer or watching videos/movies.

Since I can barely even stand after I come home from work (this was the only job available btw, I needed something QUICKLY), the only thing I want from him as household chores such as washing the dishes or doing the laundry. I do the sweeping and mopping since he's bad at it.

Recently we've been fighting occasionally about the dishes and laundry not being done even though it's the ONLY thing I want from him.

He always gets mad and says that he's not gonna do everything around the house just because he's at home all day (there currently isn't a single clean plate since he refused to do the dishes 3 days in a row).

He told me to do the dishes myself if it bothers me so much so I walked out of the house and went to work. Now he's not talking to me.

So, am I the rear end in a top hat?

Edit: please stop telling me to leave him, he is perfect in every other way except house chores.

Edit 2 i shouldn't even have to say this but PLEASE now that the comments are locked, can y'all stop going out of your way to DM me and severely insult me? I'm happy in my relationship, my boyfriend has everything else I need, and yes, he is helping around the house most of time, this has just been a recent problem that got resolved already, I was just asking if I was acting like an idiot. And as a victim of manipulation, gaslighting and abuse, my boyfriend definitely does NOT abuse me and he's also not going to cheat on me over a pile of dishes. Have a nice day.

quote:

I’m 23 and she’s the same.

We been together awhile now about a year and we are always with each other and we talk about everything. We are basically each other’s best friend. Well the thing is I notice all these other girls wear makeup and she doesn’t. She’s completely fine with not wearing makeup but it sort of bugs me. It’s not like she’s ugly without it I just think she would look so much better. Like she would glow. I don’t know what the big deal is for her to wear makeup.

So early today I asked her before we went out to eat with my parents if she could put some makeup on. She got so mad at me saying how much she hates it and she put me in an awkward spot. I didn’t know how to advance the argument because she was so stern on not wearing makeup but she finally gave in to my pestering and decided to put on some of her sisters make up but I could tell she was furious with me. I told her she should drop the attitude because it’s not a big deal and I don’t want her bringing that energy for dinner. And now she’s making a big deal about me not respecting her wishes. If she wanted me to do something for her I’ll do it it’s not that big of a deal. I know she’s her own person but when you are in a relationship you sort of make compromises for one another. Am I the rear end in a top hat for asking her to put on ALITTLE makeup

Edit: just so everyone knows I’m a good boyfriend and we hardly ever fight. We are good for each other. We have alot of things in common and of course I see the value in her besides her outwards appearance. We are seeing this long term hopefully even though she can be alittle stubborn but every relationships have shells and layers that can be peeled it just takes time and that’s fine. I know makeup isn’t important but it’s a small compromise. I’m not forcing her to do anything she is free to do whatever she wants with her body. I’m 100% supportive of her decisions in life

OP posted:

I’m not a girl only girls wear makeup

quote:

My girlfriend and me had to leave our apartment because of a fire. (It was only in one apartment on the ground floor and none of the others got damaged and fortunately the damage in that one was minor and no one got hurt. But there still had to be an inspection to make sure it was safe before we could come back).

My brother has an extra bedroom so my girlfriend and me went to stay with him. I was glad my brother said we could stay when he found out about the fire. We stayed with him for 2 days/2 nights in total. One thing I didn't think of was that my brother lives further away from downtown and everything then we do. There is a bus but the service isn't the same and there is frequent transit or things within walking distance etc. The bus runs less frequently now because of the pandemic and all that.

My brother doesn't drink coffee or caffeine at all. He didn't have any in the house. He doesn't have a coffee maker or mugs to have it in. He doesn't see it as a problem but I think he should have had something once he knew he was having guests. Even if he doesn't drink it most adults do so he should have something if he knows people are coming over. He says no one has ever complained before. Since he was far out from the city like I said there is no coffee shop, grocery store or gas station in walking distance and no grocery delivery or anything like that. If I am honest those 3 mornings with no caffeine were hell especially the first one after the fire. My girlfriend wanted to order some online but the delivery is not quick.

We're grateful my brother agreed to let us stay there but I told him it's a bad move as a host not to keep caffeine or a way to make coffee since it's a thing most adults do even though he is an outlier. He got kind of offended but I think he should think this through more. I did thank him for letting us stay and he refused my money for the food if his we ate. But am I right that he should keep coffee if he's have guests and some way to make it or did I overreact?

quote:

I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend, Jane (21F) for nearly a year. We go to separate colleges about 40 minutes away from one another, but we still see each other multiple times a week. I've noticed though that she always prefers to come to my apartment in a small town rather than me visiting her at her apartment. When we talk about family, she is always very reserved and just tells me that she's not close with hers. As far as friends go, I've met a great deal of her highschool and college friends that all seem average.

Now, she's always presented herself as a "broke college student" and will actively say that fact whenever money comes up and laughs it off. However, I've noticed over the months that despite saying that, she refuses to eat fast food, she likes going on impromptu "mini vacations" which by her standard are just staying within the country but are by no means cheap, and she drives a car worth over $70k.

Last night we met up with a few of her "childhood friends" to shoot pool. A few of them noticed that I drive a Tesla that I just bought for myself brand new this year. It's my pride and joy, and I will admit that I've done quite well for myself over time and building up my own income.

Here's where the red flags start. They all called her by a different name. Rather than her name that I and all her friends I've met before call her by, they were calling her something else completely. All of these friends were also foreign, coming from Brazil, Spain, Ivory Coast, and etc. Eventually while talking about my car, a Brazilian girl named Camilla asked Jane if she intended to ask her father to buy her one. Jane just shrugged it off awkwardly with a "maybe".

Throughout the night it became glaringly obvious that all of these "childhood friends" came from extremely wealthy families, so I asked Jane how she met them. She said that they went to school together overseas for a while and went to summer camps together. Jane also spoke to most of them in languages other than English, mostly French or Spanish as that's what they all seemed to know besides English.

After we left back to my place, I asked her what the deal was, and she said that she does come from a well off family, and the name that her friends called her was her actual name. She just went by a more common one when she came to our state because it was easier for people to pronounce. I felt miffed that she had been lying about her source of income for what seems like years, and that she actually had a lot more money than she had let on. I asked her if I could look at her Venmo in which I see regular deposits from her father ranging from $400-$1000 weekly as an "allowance".

I called her a trustfund baby, and told her that she's a liar for pretending that she doesn't actually have money when she clearly does, and that she's just masquerading around lower classes and likes looking at how we all live. She got extremely upset with me and left, and is still refusing to speak to me.

AITA?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for exposing my parents' favoritism

quote:

I decided to go ahead and call my grandparents to accept their offer to move in. During the phone call I asked them why there was monthly payments being sent to my parents. Turns out my parents were living beyond their means for a while because my mother quit her job to be a full time stay at home mom. My grandparents decided to help out by sending them money monthly to help with my parents mortgage and also to set aside some of that money for college savings for both my brother and I that was to be split evenly. Turns out my parents only planned to put that savings towards my brother's college. And that's also how they bought his car as well. So from now on my parents are now on their own financially. Likely my mother will have to go back to work to help my dad keep up the mortgage.

I confronted my parents and asked why they've always treated my brother as the favorite. Then asked if there was something I needed to know. Turns out there was...NOTHING! Literally nothing! I'm not an affair baby. Not even an unplanned pregnancy! They just liked my brother more! I was mad as hell and we argued a lot before I left the room because I'd had enough.

My grandparents showed up on Saturday with a moving truck. My parents were floored when we started bringing in boxes to pack. My father got in our way and I reminded him how he said that I should move out, so I am. My mother cried some more and said that my father was just angry in the moment when he said that, and they had been counting on my rent money to help with my brother's college fund. I asked if that meant he would never have had to pay rent like I did when he turns 18. My father then said that since I was taking a gap year to work, then my rent money could have helped my brother. Which means they never intended for him to get a job while going to college.

My grandpa was enraged and confronted my father, saying he raised him better than this. He chewed him out saying he's never been more disappointed in him, and they will no longer receive any more financial support. Then said he'd disown them both if they ever tried to retaliate against me for exposing them. My father backed down and neither he or my mother said another word to me. I had a bit of an awkward conversation with my brother as we said our goodbyes to each other. And that was it. I just got in my car, waved and drove off.

I'm now fully moved into my new room at my grandparents' house. It's a little smaller, but nice. And my grandparents are very welcoming. I'm going to keep working hard to move forward from here and I appreciate everyone's support.

quote:

The title sounds bad but I can explain.

I'm 30f married to my husband who's the same age as me. We have a 2 year old daughter and now we are expecting our second child.

My brother 26m is married to my SIL 25f. My SIL is infertile and its nearly impossible for her to have kids. At first she was devastated but now she's come to terms with it and doesn't care anymore. My SIL has a dog she's had since high-school, the dog is 9 years old and they have a second dog they adopted with my brother which is 4 years old. The thing about this is I respect their decisions but I don't really like dogs and I hate when people do more for their dogs than they do for their siblings, nephews or nieces. These dogs are getting more spoiled by my brother than his own niece, my daughter. I've expressed my views on it but everyone tells me to mind my business.

So last week, my SIL's senior dog got hit by a car and the dog now needs surgery and therapies which are a bit pricey. My brother and SIL were very quick to open their pockets and pay for every single expense of the dog's surgery and therapies. When I found out I complained to my brother and my SIL that I wish they had the same energy for their niece like they do with their animals. My brother said that my daughter has never been in an emergency where she could need all that money and that if she had an emergency they'd help. I said that spending money on the dogs surgery when they could save it up in case some emergency happened to any of us, especially my kid is reckless and said it's unreasonable to care more about the dogs when my kid is right here and I'm expecting another one soon and barely gets the same love.

My SIL said " with all due respect, I understand you adore your kid and you'll love your second one too and I will love your kids too, but my dogs are my family and I'd do anything to provide a good life for them". That's where I might be TA. I told my SIL that it's a good thing she's infertile because she'd be a terrible mother since she'd prioritise her "fur babies" over her actual human children. My brother and SIL got very offended and don't speak to me now. My husband said that while I was right I shouldn't straight up tell them that. My parents also claim I'm TA for saying this but they agree to some extent but not totally . AITA????

quote:

So the short story for background is that I have bad anxiety that runs from okay to severe. I had a miscarriage several months ago and that really hasn’t helped at all.

Back in January our friends asked if our daughter could be in their wedding as flower girl. I was thrilled about it and we of course said yes. This was before the miscarriage. Since then it became harder for me to focus on things and I admittedly was a little flakey with planning on getting together with her for flower girl practice and things like that.

I had a huge bout of anxiety right before their wedding and I refused to go or let my girls out of my sight. My husband was in the wedding party and he wanted to take her anyway but I told him he wasn’t taking my daughter and they would have to understand. She’s just a flower girl it’s not a big deal and I just couldn’t handle it.

The bride is furious with me now. She called to scream at me and tell me how I was such a bitch for using MY anxiety as an “excuse” to not come to the wedding and keep my daughter away. She accused me of wasting her time and money. I told her she needed to read on mental illness and hung up on her.

Now everyone is mad at me. My own husband agreed with her calling me a bitch and said I was rude and inconsiderate and that I caused problems between him and the groom because of the little tantrum the bride threw. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my illness and I don’t think I’m the one at fault especially when they know how not myself I’ve been. My mom agrees that they’re acting entitled (to my time and my daughter) and need to let it go.

quote:

My nextdoor neighbor is a war veteran. He was medically discharged from the military. He has some sort of head trauma and has a missing leg. He is wheelchaired and going through physical therapy to learn to walk again. Obviously, he needs assitance and he needs to make modifications to the house, the main one being a ramp as the house is 5 steps up. He moved in with his sister, who owns the house. I am a housing contractor and my next door neighbor asked me to build it for like 10k or something, I told her just to pay for the materials and I'd do it for free.

I got a permit to building, took a ridiculous amount of time to get it. I also tell the HOA about the ramp. THey didn't get back to me, despite me calling, emailing, sending letters and getting to them in person. Its about 3 weeks, no response. gently caress it I'm building the ramp, I don't give a gently caress about their specifications. During this entire time whenever he had to enter or leave the house, 2 people would have to carry his wheel chair up or down. Its a pain in the rear end, loving ridiculous.

I start building the ramp and I'm about halfway done, I go home to finish it the next day. The next day the HOA sends a nasty letter to the house informing them that the ramp doesn't meet the HOA specifications. Something about the aesthetics and the right color wood. We ignore the letter. A neighbor complains and threatens to bring a lawsuit over it about. Are you loving KIDDING ME?

There is an HOA meeting to discuss other stuff, but I've just about lost my patience over all of this. I finished building the ramp and the HOA is demanding we deconstruct it. I go to the meeting and I explain how the HOA never got back to me and that its their fault they don't like the aesthetics. They said that rules are rules and we must follow them. I lost my poo poo at the point and yelled "SHUT YOUR GOD DAMNED MOUTH, THAT MAN SACRIFICED HIS LEGS OVERSEAS FOR US, YOU ALL ARE DISGUSTING PIECES OF poo poo FOR MAKING HIS LIVES HARDER YOU SHOULD ALL BE loving ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!"

HOA president tells me to call down and I told her to shut her ugly mouth and that I will not be making any of their bullshit adjustments and I will go to court over this. They're violating the Americans with disabilities act, we'll have a field day with them in court. They shut up after that but my god I can't believe there's people like this

pentyne posted:

This one didn't take off until the comments really clarified a few things

My sister [30F] broke my fiance's [27M] wrist and now he won't marry me [26F] unless I cut her and the rest of my family out of my life

quote:

I’ve been out of work since the big C happened. My best friend and his girlfriend (Anne) moved in with me to help cover some things. They have always paid their share of rent rent on time. The girlfriend was down on her luck because her industry suffered. I let her move in because she has good connections. I thought I would use it to get a job. I never actually paid rent during the big C because I was out of work too. I got the rent relief to cover my back rent.

I can’t find a job to my liking. They never pay what I deserve. All of my friends have good jobs. So when I quit my last job, I figured someone would help me out.

My roommate and his girlfriend won’t help find me a job or hire me.

I just found out Anne hired a random Uber driver because he seems like a good investment. (She said I’m not)

I’m trying to get an eviction notice so they can take me seriously.

quote:

My (36) husband (32) is always talking about other people. This one popped up from the internet, a "fan" of his business. And he is training her to be a coworker. He did admit he liked her because she is hot (he is honest like that). It got real and she came to visit (6h drive). This is the second time. First time made me really uncomfortable as well but he didn't introduce me. This time she showed up late in the day, looking like a young britney. Bleached hair and lots of makeup, nice clothes. They had dinner together and she went to sleep in the guests room.

Then this morning husband took her to our second home (mountain cabin) and they have been gone the whole day, no communication. I am home with my toddler and I really just feel like getting drunk or driving there to graffiti her car. I did tell my husband he could do what he wanted but didn't mean it. I'm going insane. She is young and good looking and looking for something since she already knew he is a married man. Give me some words of wisdom in a desperate women.

TLDR; husband gone the whole day to spend time in a house with hot friend

quote:

My full, legal first name is 'Optimus Prime'. Yes, really. My mother was a complete nerd and my father was very, very indulgent. My feelings about it are complex and have evolved over time, but I don't resent them for it. They wanted to share their love of something with me, and I can appreciate that even I didn't grow up to share that love (I am not really into nerdy pop culture things at all).

My parents were pranksters, but not assholes, so they told everyone that my name was 'Tim', and I've happily used it my whole life. I think some people in the family assumed my full name was 'Timothy', but they were all content to call me by the short version. My close family knows, of course, as do my close friends, but 'Tim' is what I went by in school, in college, and now at work. My legal name does come up, but I generally just laugh it off, and luckily no one's ever made a big thing of it or bullied me for it. I get a couple jokes whenever a new movie comes out and someone remembers, but that's really it.

I'm getting married in a couple weeks, and my fiancee wants the officiant to use 'Tim' when he refers to me. I don't mind him using it for the majority, but when he says "do you XX take XX to be you lawful wedded wife", I want him to use my real, full name.

My fiancee thinks it will be distracting, and that everyone there who doesn't know (most of her side, and a few people from mine) will have no idea what's going on and think we're playing some kind of prank. She thinks they'll be talking about 'my weird real name' for the rest of the day instead of focusing on our union. But I think I should be able to use my own name. I mean, I am 'Optimus Prime'. just because I go by 'Tim' doesn't mean I'm not. My parents passed away a couple of years ago, but I know they would have been really happy to see me get embrace the name they gave me..and, yeah, okay, my mother would have loved that the 'reveal' feels kind of like a prank. My fiancee is right, I am just kind of springing it on our guests. But I don't want to do it to play a prank, I want to do it because I feel like if I just use my nickname, I'm not getting married as my whole self. But it is true that it will probably be distracting.

So, Reddit, WIBTA if I used my legal name to get married?

quote:

Although I stand strong in my beliefs, my friends told me that what I did was not ok and I think now I feel conflicted so I am making this post. I don't think I'm wrong though and youll see why.

My friend is VERY very good-looking. He met his wife before he met me around 7? years ago through school or something, and she's .. a mess. I mean she's not the ugliest, but she's really tiny and kinda pudgy she has an acne problem which I don't understand since she's 27. She also has a double-chin when she speaks which isn't the WORST i guess, but compared to my friend who is SO good-looking she's.. basically like a 2. The only thing I can give her is that she's kinda funny and she is book smart/ok job i guess. But that's IT. I have tried my hardest to hint to my friend that he's young, he's only 25, he can find someone else, even I'm open to dating him (he's GORGEOUS) but hes never caught any hints. It's like he's under a spell.

His wife is pregnant atm which is frustrating cos I havent seen him in a while (virus) and we used to call at least semi-regularly but now he can't because she makes him wait on her hand and foot and he's lovesick for some reason. FINALLY got to video-call him the other day after weeks and he looked tired but happy and gorgeous as ever. She came to say hi and she's REALLY let herself go. I couldn't even look at her straight without grimacing, she was a mess. When she left the room all he talked about was her and baby this and baby that, and she this and she that and "she's glowing" and poo poo. It's like we see two different people!

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and asked what exactly he sees in her. He was like what do you mean, so I gave him some examples (that i put above). Instead of talking to me like an adult, he went really silent and when I was like what is it and he said "do you mean that?" and I said "yes..?" and he said "I'm way too tired for this" ??? and then he suddenly hung up on me and before I even had space to breathe, BLOCKED ME EVERYWHERE. ?????

I really DO NOT understand what I said wrong. I really do want to know what he sees in her, they don't even have the same interests! My friends are since then hounding me about how I could say that, and everyone I talk to seems to be getting mad at me? I don't think I am, but AITA? I really don't want to lose him over something to do with HER, so should i just apologise?

Funktastic posted:

AITA for not going along with my roommates Thanksgiving plans

quote:

I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.

For background, I follow the ketogenic diet. I have seizures and pills weren’t working to control them, so my doctor prescribed the diet as a last resort to get them under control. It transformed my life. I’ve been seizure free for years now, and I’ve gained a lot of my freedoms back I once thought I’d never get back.

Needless to say, I never have a “cheat day” or change the amount of carbs I can have, at all. It is a prescription diet and I have to follow it exactly as directed to keep my freedoms. I measure and track all my carbs and fats to make sure I’m getting exactly what I need, and when I eat out, I always check their nutritional menu before ordering anything.

About a week ago I decided to treat myself to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. I’ve been there plenty of times before as there are many food options for me. When the waitress came to my table, I gave her my typical order: pan-fried salmon fillet with a side of asparagus and Coke Zero Sugar. I finished everything, paid, and left. As soon as I was driving back home, I felt the unmistakable feeling that had haunted me all those years ago: an aura. I panicked; I pulled the car to the side of the road, threw it into park, and put my hazards on before falling into a convulsion. Apparently someone called the cops, because the first things I remember seeing were blue lights, being taken out of the car, and being sent to the hospital. At the hospital I explained my condition and how I’d been seizure free for years thanks to keto. They asked me what I’d eaten this past day, and I told them. They said what most likely happened was the restaurant gave me regular Coca Cola instead of Zero Sugar, which knocked me out of ketosis immediately. They took my license away for 6 months until I can (again) prove to them the diet keeps my seizures under control.

I was livid. How was I going to get to work? How was i going to get groceries? Once discharged I called the restaurant and asked to speak to the manager. I went OFF on the manager. I told him the whole story, the worker’s name, and the drink I was given that could’ve nearly killed me or someone else. I’ll admit I swore a lot and called the waitress colorful names, which I am now ashamed about. Apparently now she’s been fired from her job and I feel terrible.

So Reddit, AITA for being a Karen at a restaurant and getting a waitress fired?

EDIT: I did inform her my diet and that I can’t eat sugar. Also I can’t taste the difference as I had covid last year and my taste has been “dulled” in a way

EDIT 2: It HAD to be the soda. I didn’t have any other triggers that day, and even on previous days when I face something that would’ve been a trigger, nothing happens because the diet works.

I also checked my ketones in the morning and they were the right level. I checked them after lunch, they were the right level. The hospital checked them after dinner: guess what? Extremely low level.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not giving a plus one to my BIL to my wedding???

OP posted:

I said married or engaged. My BIL is not engaged to his gf. I've been with my fiancé for 6+ years and we got engaged 3 years in.

Tetramin posted:

Yeah, what is OP doing at her family events

OP posted:

They used to tell my fiancée to invite me but I didn't go out of respect for the fact that I was just a boyfriend, not a fiancé or husband.

quote:

I (23M) have dated my girlfriend (19F) for a little under a year now. I’ve come to love her a lot and my love language is gift giving. My girlfriend has always been the type of girl that’s just hard not to love. She’s the definition of magnetic. Guys always approach her and understandably, she’s a high caliber girl. She could easily be anyone’s dream girl. Looks amazing and everything about her is feminine, down to her hands and how she comforts me or makes me food. She has an “expensive” look to her, but she does all her self care her self and is amazingly cost efficient about it. As a result, the kinds of guys that go after her are usually trust fund babies or are highly ambitious (med school, law school, business start-ups, things like that), despite herself not being anywhere in that tax bracket. This isn’t her fault because I’ve seen myself that she never entertains anyone but she just has that affect on people. It makes me feel like less of a man because I’m nothing like those guys and honestly it makes me feel like a bum.

One day while walking past her computer, I notice that she was looking at a designer perfume and I told her I’ll get it for her. She’s adamant that she doesn’t want me to get it for her and that she was just kind of day/dreaming about it. Shes literally never asked me for anything but I wanted to show her that I can take care of her and spoil her too.

I look into it and the perfume is 300 loving dollars. What the gently caress. I don’t see the point in something like that but honestly my pride would be hurt if I went back on my word, so I find the perfume for a much greater value on eBay.

Today comes and I gift her the perfume. She unwraps the present, sprays it on her hand to smell it and her face is a blank expression, like shes trying to decide how to react. I ask her what’s wrong and she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, thanking me that I wanted to get her something nice. I don’t know why, but it made me feel like poo poo, I was expecting a much bigger reaction. I keep pushing her as to why it seems like she doesn’t like her gift and she tells me that she loves the idea, but it’s obviously fake. I feel like this was an extremely ungrateful thing to say and I called her a brat for even caring if the perfume is fake or not. I also said that she’s materialistic due to the fact that she could supposedly even tell it was fake by merely looking at it and smelling it once. She says that it’s dumb that i made a big show about getting it for her if I was just going to do this, and that what i got her is nothing like the original perfume that it couldn’t even be considered an imitation. I think it shouldn’t matter because I practically still got her the perfume she wanted, I just didn’t drop 300 for it. This is making me see her in a different light.

So reddit, AITA?

TLDR; I got my girlfriend a fake for a 300 dollar perfume she wanted. Apparently she could automatically tell it was fake and it made her look really materialistic and ungrateful. AITA for getting her a fake?

top comment posted:

Based on your subsequent comments, this is how I'm now imagining the sequence of events:

Her: idly looking at computer

You: I WILL BUY YOU THAT THING!

Her: No don't do that, it's too expensive.

You: I MUST! AWAY! charges off

Her: ... wut

You: gently caress it's $300.

You: I'll just buy this cheap $30 knock-off; she'll never notice. Aha!

You: I HAVE BROUGHT YOU THE THING.

Her: Thanks?

Her: Uhh... sprays ... sniffs ... nearly dies from the stench ... That's umm... wow.

You: YOU DON'T LIKE THE THING?

Her: No I... discreetly coughs up a lung ... I love it, thanks so much.

You: WHAT??

Her: It's lovely. hacks

You: You're not glowing and telling me I'm the most wonderful person you've ever ever met. My suspicions are raised. Very raised.

Her: No you're amazing! You... stud!

You: You drat me with faint praise. I spent $300.

Her: Seriously, you're so, umm...

You: You don't like it, do you?

Her: Well

You: SPIT IT OUT, WOMAN!

Her: I think maybe the seller ripped you off. It's... it might be... a fake.

You: HOW DARE YOU IMPUGN MY BUYING SKILLS. THEY ARE LEGENDARY ACROSS THE GALAXY.

Her: Oh. So that's why there's a hint of Uranus.

You: YOU MATERIALISTIC BRAT! FETCH MY DIZZY COUCH! I AM FATALLY WOUNDED!

Edited to add: Oh wowzoiks. Thanks so much for the awards, folks. I'm glad my ridiculousness gave you joy.

Also edited to add: YTA. In case that wasn't clear.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

couches can't faint, rear end in a top hat

quote:

My mom died 6 years ago and she left her estate to me, my sister and my brother. My sister was the executor of the estate and she stole a lot of money. My brother and I ended up with only $500 each and my sister took home something like $100,000.

My brother hired a lawyer to sort out the situation. He and my sister got in a big fight and he disowned her. He said that he couldn't deal with her anymore. He claimed that she abused him his whole life which is an exaggeration imo and this was the last straw for him.

I stayed out of it all because I didn't want any bad blood between me and my sister. My sister can be difficult but she's great with my children and she's a godsend when I need a babysitter. My children love her and I can't cut their auntie out of their lives. I hardly ever see my brother because he lives 5 hours away and he never comes around to see us. He used to come over once in a while but after he disowned my sister, he stopped coming around. My children don't know him.

Deep down I agree with my brother about the estate situation. My sister mismanaged the estate and stole a lot of money and my mom's valuables. It's not worth ending my relationship with my sister over, though. My brother feels differently and I respect that. My sister is heartbroken though. She misses our brother and she's very hurt that my brother disowned her.

My brother just won't quit though. His lawyer is still asking the estate lawyer for information regarding the estate. My sister doesn't have all the paperwork that his lawyer is asking for and she's very stressed out. I've had to listen to her complain about this for 3 years and counting. I want it to stop. I wish my brother would just take his $500 and move on like I did.

Last weekend my brother paid me an unexpected visit. He was in town and he wanted to stop by to "say hi" to me and my kids. I was busy but I let him in and offered him something to eat. Not even 10 minutes in he brought up my sister and the estate situation. He told me that he just found out that she forged papers to become the executor. Apparently my mom named someone else as the executor in her will and my sister forged that person's signature to sign the estate over to herself.

I sort of sighed and asked him to stop talking about it because I don't care about any of it. He became agitated and told me that I should care because she stole from me and my kids too. I said that I know but I made my peace with it and he should too. He raised his voice at me and told me that I was enabling my sister like the rest of the family and I should know better. My children were in the next room and they could hear everything so I told him to leave. He started crying on his way out of the door.

I feel awful but I just want our family to be like it used to be. I'm not going to have him disrespect me in my own home again but I'm afraid that I overreacted and I'll never see him again. AITA?

quote:

I and my wife have 2 kids aged 10F and 8F.

My older daughter is in gymnastics and my younger daughter does ballet. As they have a lot of physical activity, they get ravenous when they're done with practice.

However, they usually have school immediately after practice so I and my wife alternate between packing food for them. We usually pack a lunch, and a breakfast for right after the practice. Thankfully my kids aren't picky eaters so it's easy to cook for them.

My wife usually packs sandwiches and a juice box, or reheated frozen pizza for them which usually doesn't sustain them enough.

I pack curries, rice, salads, eggs, homemade smoothies etc. All the stuff that keeps them full for longer.

Yesterday, my kids told us at dinner that they like the food I pack for them a lot and that they want me to pack food for them everyday since mom's food isn't filling. They said that they feel hungry before the second hour and the lunch break starts only after the 4th hour. They don't like eating at the canteen since the food there is literal crap and it doesn't sustain them either.

When the kids went to bed, my wife got mad at me saying that the kids are becoming picky eaters thanks to me and my time-consuming meals.

AITA?

Edit: I usually pack scrambled eggs/boiled egg/loaded omelette, a smoothie, rice, sauteed veggies for breakfast.

For lunch, I pack leftover curry from the night before, rice, a meat dish, sauteed veggies, boiled egg, and a chocolate.

For snacks, I give them trail mix, veggies and hummus, etc.

Evil Willow posted:

I (22M) got my girlfriends (21F) mom (42F) pregnant and she won't get an abortion.

quote:

I wasn't going to do an update do to all the backlash of hate I got both on my post and even worse in my inbox on top of people just calling my problem fake but there were people who gave good advice and really helped me during a hard time so this update is for them.

The advice I got to back off regarding the baby situation worked itself out really well. My girlfriends mom moved back in with her dad for about a month but ended up leaving again because she had a miscarriage and her dad was really upset about it. According to my girlfriend her mom was still drinking/smoking throughout it and her dad was constantly fighting with her about stopping for the baby and when it passed away he blamed her (which isn't fair because it's not his body or place to judge what she does with it) and was really devastated at the loss and isn't doing to well mentally right now but I think he'll get better soon, my girlfriend has been visiting him a lot and comforting him.

My girlfriend thinks her mom made up the pregnancy to get back with her dad because she's known to be dramatic but I don't think it makes sense because why would she tell me I got her pregnant? She wanted to move back in with us but my girlfriend and I put our foot down and said she couldn't. Her moms still upset with her for not letting her stay but she's staying at a friend's house now so it worked out.

I took advice I got in the thread and talked to my girlfriend about going to therapy and she was really supportive about it. We've gone to 4 or 5 sessions now and I can't believe how much it's made our lives better. I was able to hear her explain what she's currently going through with her depression and see how much her family life has affected her. We also all agreed that I was way overwhelmed as well dealing with her depression, the pandemic, and my college courses on top of her moms drama she brought to our house and that because of it I've become distant too and not supportive of my girlfriend anymore which only worsens her depression. We decided that I needed to start taking more time for myself and doing things that make me happy again and my girlfriend agreed to letting me have more free space and to try to give me more attention and affection when needed and that I would do the same for her.

We've both decided to take a semester off our schooling and take the pressure off our shoulders for a little while which I'm really excited about. A couple of guys and I were thinking about doing a hiking trip for a couple of weeks and she wants to do some art thing so we'll see what the future holds.

Thank you to everyone who actually tried to help and didn't just see me as a devil but a good person who did a bad thing who's just trying to figure his life out. I appreciate the support.

Edit: No I didnt tell her about her mother and I because that is in the past and it's a situation that will only hurt her more than help heal us. Somethings are better left unsaid.

Edit: can the negative people stop replying now? I was hoping to hear from the people who had helpful progressive advice.

quote:

When I was in high school we had a guy we called Cheeseburger. He was fat and hilarious, funniest guy I've ever met. We called him cheeseburger because he used to always talk about how much he wanted a cheeseburger. One day, the whole class came together and bought him cheeseburgers. He ate 4 cheeseburgers in a minute, which was the current world record for a time (furious pete set it) but now its 5 by some Filipino. That same day he also ate 67 burgers. I remember we were all pissed off he couldn't eat 2 more to get 69. Dude was a loving legend. He ate cheeseburgers like everyday. He also did comedy acts at items and was hilarious. He was on the rugby team, he was really fat but still able to run somewhat fast, dude was 193 cm and like 150 kg. Our rugby strategy was to give him teh ball and just line up behind him he'd just push through everything and if he was suck we would just push him until he pushed through their lines.

Anyways he unfortunately drowned in some boating accident and we had a small high school reunion shortly afterwards. I miss cheeseburger a lot. Anywyas me and my friends got some cheeseburgers and we toasted, or clinked the cheeseburgers togehter and asked for a moment of silence for cheeseburger and to eat the cheeseburger in his memory.

Some people, who im assuming didn't know cheeseburger well were saying I was extremely rude and I was disrespecting him. I know for a fact, this is what cheeseburger would be wanting.

Someone else got hte microphone and made a speech about him. Me and all my friends yelled to cheeseburger. They claimed we were disrespecting him by using that name, I guess they didn't remember it or what, or they probably didn't know him well because he literally went by the name Cheeseburger, he was never offended by it.

Some peopel asked me to leave I told them to gently caress off. Cheeseburger, if you're reading this, we miss you buddy

quote:

I recently got a divorce in June. When we signed paperwork on paper we both agreed we didn't want anything from each other and what's his was his and what's mine was mine. Now he keeps hassling me for money. He helped me put a down payment on a car 7 years ago. Never mentioned me paying him back now out of the blue says I owe him for that. He also has this list of all the times I agreed to have relations with him but didn't and says I owe him compensation for it and he kept hassling me and now says I owe him 3k for that. The other stuff is misc like saying I owe him money for stuff he bought when I wasn't working during covid while we were still married! He's even come up with amounts out of the blue and said hey you owe me 500$ for blah blah blah but I'll consider it paid if you sleep with me. He keeps putting pressure on me and threatening to take me to court. A lot of friends and family believe there's no way it'll hold up but I'm scared and just wanted to ask for advice. Thank you. P.S. I am in Texas

quote:

I (20f) have been playing Dungeons & Dragons for a few years now with the same online group. We went on hiatus and I really missed playing so I started looking for another group. My coworker (22m) heard about this and invited me to join a game he just started. It was irl which I really wanted to try because I hear it's so much better irl than online so I enthusiastically said yes.

Well I showed up to play and the vibes were immediately off. I was the only girl at the table, and definitely the youngest (everyone else was 22-26). They questioned my character choice, saying the group really needed a healer but I had already chosen a different skillset. For anyone familiar with D&D or fantasy tropes in general, the single girl is ALWAYS the healer/mother figure which I wanted to avoid at all costs. After some debate, my coworker shut them down and let me play the character I wanted.

I should have walked out right then, but I stuck around to play two sessions. They. Were. Hell. Every choice I made in character was ignored or questioned, the other players’ characters flirted with and harassed my character in every interaction. They barely let me do anything in the game and fought over which character would be able to date mine. In the middle of the second session, one of them asked what my character’s bra size was. I stood up and said “nope. Not going to take this anymore. You guys have fun” and walked out.

Ever since then they’ve all been blowing up my phone saying I ruined their game, that I shouldn’t have walked out like that. I’ve blocked most of them because the messages started getting insulting. However, my coworker hasn’t really talked to me since and I feel like I should have tried to resolve the issue in a different way since I never told the group I was uncomfortable with character romance. AITA in this situation?

quote:

TA b/c FIL Reddits and I don't want to link to past posts

People: Me (27f) husband (24M) FIL(58M)

Relevant history: I met husband my 3rd year (his 1st) in college at Xmas party. We were just friends until that summer when we started dating. FIL rented an apartment for husband near campus for the summer and encouraged him to get a part time job and "make friends" and "live it up" since he will have the rest of his life to work. By the end of the summer, I had moved in with husband.

The next year I graduated but did not get into the grad program I wanted so I got a part time job (we didn't need money b/c our only expenses were internet and groceries and FIL gave husband 2 grand each month). Another year went by and I quit my job b/c it sucked. During that year (husband's 3rd year) FIL came to see him unknown to me. FIL told him that he didn't think our relationship was healthy (WTF?) and that I was isolating him. Of course husband told me right away, but I didn't say anything at the time. After that husband and I started having issues and he seemed to be distancing himself from me and asking me if I ever thought about what my future would be like (again WTF?).

Then pandemic happened at the end of husband's 4th year. He had a zoom graduation party (with both our parents and his siblings, etc) during which I proposed to him. A few days later, FIL shows up and sits us both down and says he doesn't object to our relationship but there was "no reason" to get married and to wait a few years and see what happens now that we are both out of college. I got angry and told him to leave which he did.

I got pregnant shortly after FIL's "intervention" and we moved in with husband's parents so once the baby was born his mom could watch our son while we looked for jobs. FIL had converted the basement (which used to be an inlaw suite) into his entertainment room, but I wanted the extra privacy, so we moved in there. Baby was born and everyone was happy.

Over this past summer, I noticed that FIL was not home much during the weekends. Turns out, he had kept the lease on our apartment and had moved his big TV and a lazy boy to the apartment (we had put our stuff in storage) and went there to relax on the weekends. I was livid. I grabbed my husband and went to confront him. I demanded he get out of our apartment and told him he was never welcome there again. I was yelling and the neighbors came to see what was going on and my husband got embarrassed so we just left. My husband of course agrees with me. FIL definitely thinks I am AH and told husband to think long and hard about his future which led to me cussing FIL out. So, AITA or is FIL for butting into our lives and trying to control us through money.

quote:

Been dating 34M for 3 months, I’m 32F. We are both child free and want to stay that way, or so I thought.

Before me he dated some girl from a different city but ended end of April because the distance was too much. He said neither of them have each other on socials or that and he deleted her number.

2 weeks ago, he gets a call out the blue from her and shock she’s pregnant. She didn’t find out until that day as she was still getting her period, she is not showing and only found out via a smear test. He was shocked and told me immediately, I asked him if she’d booked a termination and he said she had decided she didn’t want one and she had told him that he didn’t have to be involved if he didn’t want to be but he was the last person she slept with so he is the father. My boyfriend told her he needed some time to think.

I asked him why he needed time because he told me he didn’t want children. He said this was a lot to process and although he didn’t want children knowing his child was coming into the world changed things and he wouldn’t want them to not have a dad.

This obviously was a shock and I said how did he know it was even his, he didn’t take kindly this and said he couldn’t think of a reason she would lie. I said maybe for money and he then explained it wouldn’t be that as she is from a very wealthy family and she has a high paying IT job. She also told him she is happy for a DNA test to be done.

Thing between my boyfriend and I have been a bit rocky since as he has been in communication with his ex and even though he has consistently kept everything above board and shown me all conversations it makes me really uncomfortable. DNA test were done last week and last night she asked him if he wanted to come to a scan today but she understood if he didn’t as he hadn’t had the DNA results yet, but he said he would go with her and I was annoyed as I had planned to ask him to go shopping with me but when I told him this he said we could go a different day because he didn’t want to miss this.

Like I said he has been great and has constantly been checking on me and asking if I’m okay but I keep telling him I’m fine because I don’t want him knowing how angry I am he’s putting his ex first.

Anyway today I snapped. He came home (I was at his apartment) from the scan and he was so happy, he had an envelope which I’m assuming had pictures of his maybe baby in and he also had a shopping bag.

Before he could open his mouth I said ‘so you can take your ex shopping for a kid that’s probably not even yours but not go with me’. He looked shocked and said ‘I didn’t go anywhere with her after the scan, I needed socks and some other bits’

I scoffed and said ‘I hope the kid isn’t yours’ then left

It’s been 3 hours and he’s not contacted me,

I told my brother and he thinks I’m a psycho and an rear end in a top hat but I don’t so Reddit am I the rear end in a top hat

quote:

Probably the quickest update but he texted me saying this.

‘The way you spoke to me was unacceptable and I will stand for being spoken to like that. I understand you are angry and in shock but how do you think I feel? 3 weeks ago I didn’t even know I was about to become a father, I constantly checked on you and you weren’t honest. Never once did you ask me how I was.

The DNA results came back an hour ago, she is my daughter. I will not have my daughter around someone who already resents her for something she didn’t do. I think it’s best we part ways. Anything of yours you’ve left here I will ship to your house and I don’t know I’ve left anything at yours but if I have please just discard of it.

I wish you all the best’

Mx. posted:

AITA for lashing out at my husband for suggesting I stop buying formula instead of cancelling his streaming services to save money?



throw the whole man out

mod posted:

You read the post. You get that itch. "I must call the husband a 'man-child/baby' or some other insult! OP needs to see this masterpiece of an insult!" Only, you find that the comment gets removed and you're banned for violating rule 1. It's not worth it.

Be Civil.