r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Ziv Zulander posted:

Am I reading it right that they�re getting married before ever having sex

Gallant plays it cool and doesn't blow up his spot by making crude sexual jokes in Urdu at his first family function.

Goofus yells "Giddy up!" and mimes riding his significant other like a bucking bronco.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2021 12:23

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:05

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Barudak posted:

Posting the M word is a big deal and no you can't get a card or a pass to use

uhm excuse you but I happen to come from a proud lineage of manchildren, just generation after generation of piss babies, just a real poppy pants infant like my father and his father before him, and I'll reclaim and use our word as drat well please as soon as mommy finishes cutting up my tendies.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2021 04:03

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Mx. posted:

AITA for calling out my mom about her gift giving methods when I was a kid?

quote:
Like "oh here's that Easy Bake Oven you wanted! I kept it all these years for you!" Then I'm like "Ma, I'm 28. What am I gonna do with an Easy Bake now?"

Ma, Imma hit you with the bakini

# ¿ Dec 26, 2021 12:08

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Barudak posted:

I know, shes the Robert Oppenheimer of drama bombs

I am become Deb, destroyer of white elephant games.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2022 10:29

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Invisible Clergy posted:

Sounds like OP got some bad ombres.

Are you a bad enough ombre to berth ell president?

# ¿ Jan 27, 2022 03:33

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Absurd Alhazred posted:

You're welcome to think I'm a piece of poo poo, but I don't like dogs, and yet I would make that absolutely clear to begin with when dating someone, much less marrying them. It's a widespread dealbreaker, much like having children, or buying a farm.

But babe, if we don't buy a farm, where will the dog go live when I inevitably drop kick it from the top rope?

# ¿ Feb 3, 2022 10:20

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Well, I am in a polyamorous relationship with the r/relationships and BWM threads and it is going very well.

The secret, as always, is open communication, not washing my rear end and being heavily leveraged on horse NFTs.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2022 11:05

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Everyone keeps going on and on about acid vat this and acid vat that and honestly I think you all might be a little childish, I say, while being bodily dunked into the acid vat

He hates everything that brings me joy.

quote:

I (29f) have been with the same guy (28m) for 7 years. Over the years there have been so many things that I get excited over and he makes me feel dumb for it or there will be something I like and he�ll make fun of me for liking it and call me childish or whatever depending on what said item is. For example I�m a huge superhero fan and having action figures makes me childish. My plants take up too much room (most of them are in a room we don�t use). I collect cool rocks and �it�s pointless�. Crocheting makes me an old lady. Etc etc. I�ve tried saying things and it just doesn�t matter. How do I deal with this?

TLDR: fianc� hates everything that makes me happy and idk what to do any more.

Edit to add: we already have kids together and I�m a sahm

# ¿ Feb 14, 2022 18:25

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for expressing a comics opinion

beme.jpg

I have this lurking suspicion that, like 18 month twins OP, this guy suspects the baby will preemptively retire while it's still a few months old. "Why would they need a retirement account? Babies don't have jobs."

He just knows that with some very light planning, the baby can begin saving for retirement on their own straight away.

https://twitter.com/Irritabilitybot/status/1326235502295576576

# ¿ Mar 3, 2022 14:53

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Wait no more, my man.

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1432396694608662536

# ¿ Mar 3, 2022 15:41

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Mx. posted:

Baller name for a baby

E: I've probably already told this story. But my sister wanted to name her daughter "Leda". I tactfully told her that it was a beautiful name but she might want to google it and then she sent me a ton of NSFW pictures from that search

She did not name her daughter Leda

...because of the swan thing? That's the only thing that pops up when I Google it, Leda is an uncommon but normal name here.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2022 10:49

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

r/relationships: big takes from bighead

# ¿ Mar 8, 2022 02:16

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Barudak posted:

Ah the ol tiny dick parting shot, a true classic

It's actually called the tiny dick Parthian shot, from the time the Parthians repelled tiny dicked Crassus at the battle of Carrhae.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2022 18:11

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

HAIL SATIN

I [25F] found satin panties in my fianc�'s [28M] office

quote:

I was looking for a charger in my fianc�'s drawers when I stumbled on a pair of pink satin panties. They are 100% not mine. We own our own washer and dryer. I do all the laundry so I would have noticed if this was in the mix earlier. Also, the size is much smaller than what I would estimate our most recent women house guests would wear. I'm waiting for him to get home and respond to my messages now. How hosed is this relationship? Is there anything else this can be?

TL;DR Is there any scenario where I'm not being cheated on?

Books have odds currently:
10:1 fiance cheating
1:10 fiance wears panties as kink
1:100 fiance wipes rear end with panties

# ¿ Mar 17, 2022 12:23

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

kimbo305 posted:

Oh, I assumed "after Harley Quinn" meant the name was Harley.

Well, you know what they say in the r/relationships thread, when you "assume" you make an "rear end" and refuse to wipe it neither for "u" nor "me" nor "your funko pop collection".

# ¿ Mar 18, 2022 13:04

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Bigfoot catching living room pisser man is out there living his best goddamn life and we're all just too chickenshit to admit it.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2022 15:20

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Halloween Jack posted:

A gentleman isn't going to put all his fetishes on the table on the first date, which is why Dune gets hornier and hornier as time goes on.

what the gently caress man, there's nothing horny about becoming a gargantuan sand dong, thrusting stiffly over curvaceous sand dunes and voyeuring troglodyte mating sessions with my time-spanning mind vagina, I don't even have a dick how can I be this horny huh?

# ¿ Apr 11, 2022 19:24

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Kuros posted:

I hope Darth Vader is officiating!

C'mon man, Bark Vader was right there.

# ¿ May 26, 2022 23:36

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

endlessmonotony posted:

... it isn't all red dyes, though. There's no way to determine if you're allergic to something from the color.

Speak for yourself, I'm definitely allergic to anything that's not chicken-fried brown.

# ¿ May 29, 2022 12:33

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for giving my sister's car to a stranger so that he fixes it?

Can't find this one, and I desperately need to read this genius' comments.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2022 18:37

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

The little known contractor gangbang fetish, where you schedule a whole crew to tear your back walls and then just the drywall guy shows up 6 hours late and says he can't do anything until electric and plumbing have gone through. Next available date is 5 months from now, and they're keeping your deposit.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2022 21:52

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

kdrudy posted:

I'm extremely amused at the general boobery of falling asleep eating a big bowl of spaghetti in your top bunk.

It was just the latest buffoonery from Italian Elon Musk that finally drove Italian Grimes to italian divorce him.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2022 21:22

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

SiKboy posted:

I've never seen a body pillow in real life, but arent they like... the size of a body? Which, unless you have an accomplice and a rolled up carpet are generally hard to move discretely. I guess it would be more squishy than a body, but still probably not the sort of thing you could just put in an overnight bag, especially as you need some room in that overnight bag for all the normal, non pillow-loving, things people take on overnight stays.

What if the body pillow has the size of a 12 year old but the soul of a 4000 year old immortal dragon?

What then, huh????

# ¿ Aug 12, 2022 14:03

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

You need to give it time so the natural oils in the teeth can clean themselves.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2022 10:28

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

He's pretty straightforward about why.

For butter or for wurst, you vowed!

# ¿ Oct 5, 2022 20:37

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

This is the wine deglazing story, no dramatic wagon falling in this one. But I do recall another story that had an alcoholic using one event like that as the reason they went off the rails, I just can't seem to find the right word combo for searching that one.

AITA for deglazing my skillet with white wine when making dinner for an ex-alcoholic?

quote:

My husband and I have known Jessica since college (about 10 years), and her husband Tim since they met (about 5 years), so we're really good friends. When they started dating, Tim was still drinking alcohol. He didn't drink it to the point of loving up his life, but he would drink almost every day, and it started to affect his health, so 3 years ago he stopped drinking all together.

Anyway, we all had dinner at our place, and while my husband and I were in the kitchen, putting dishes away and taking out dessert, Jessica came to help us. On the counter, she saw a bottle of white wine, looked a bit confused and asked "didn't you have red wine at dinner?" (Tim told us ages ago that he doesn't mind if we have alcoholic drinks in his company). I said that we did, I just used a bit of white wine to deglaze my skillet while cooking. She immediately started shouting stuff like what the gently caress is the matter with me, putting wine in an alcoholic's dinner.

I said I used the tiniest amount and the heat was so high that the alcohol evaporated. She wouldn't stop shouting, so her husband came to the kitchen as well, and she told him what happened. He seemed confused so I asked him if he'd tasted any alcohol in the dinner, and he said no. Jessica said it doesn't matter that he didn't taste it, it was still there. In the end, they left.

I texted her the next day to say I was sorry, and that I didn't realize it would be such a problem since you can't actually taste it, but that in the future, I won't use wine when cooking. She texted me that her husband felt sick after dinner and she doubts they will be coming over to our place again. That was the last thing she told me. My husband thinks she might be lying about Tim being sick because he thinks we'd already had the same dinner once before, but neither one of us can remember. Regardless of that, we're not sure if it was an rear end in a top hat thing to use wine when cooking for someone who is sober.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2022 19:38

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

I pictured dipping my hands in the T E E T H H O A R D and dry heaved loudly enough that my wife came over to the computer to ask me what's wrong.

She is now disgusted with veryone involved in the story, and me for showing it to her.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2022 01:13

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I told him to have fun with the clown, and went inside

# ¿ Nov 2, 2022 21:42

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

I watermark all my (many, many) nudes with ebaumsworld.com for plausible deniability.

e: jeezy creezy what a snipe

My jeweler (F/40s) unwittingly engraved my mother's name on an engagement ring I (M/32) had made

quote:

This could almost be a Seinfeld episode.

A couple of weeks ago I (M/32) was shopping around for a place to design an engagement ring to propose to my girlfriend (F/30), and I found a local jeweler with very positive reviews. It just so happens that this company has the same name as my mother, let's call her Nancy. So this company is "Nancy Jewelers".

I get in touch with them and deal directly with the owner (Lady in her 40s), who's very professional and understands my requirements, finds me a great deal on an eye-clean diamond through her contacts, and sends me preliminary sketches of the setting for my approval. All good, and I'm pleased and excited to see the final product.

Yesterday I get an e-mail saying the ring is ready for collection with a couple of photos from the side and top. It looks exactly as I envisioned, except the jeweler has engraved "NANCY" on the inside of the finished product. So now I am expected to present my girlfriend with an engagement ring, which for all she'll know inexplicably has my mother's name engraved in it.

I mean, it's not really inexplicable, but I still don't think it would be appropriate to give her the ring as is. I know the owner of the company is quite proud of their work and will probably look at me sideways if I ask her to nix the branding. I can appreciate that this situation is amusing, and I'm quite an awkward person so I figured I would share this story and also ask for advice on how best to handle it gracefully.

Thank you.

tldr: I had an engagement ring made at a company who shares its name with my mother, and they wontedly engraved their company name on the inside of the band. Not sure how to broach the situation without offending someone.

Cooler heads prevail in the comments though:

quote:

Okay, first of all, "nancy" Is definitely ENGRAVED and not just a watermark? have you talked to the jeweler about this? Do all of her engagement rings have her name on them?

quote:

good catch.

a simple phone call could fix this

Bubblyblubber fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Apr 10, 2023

# ¿ Apr 10, 2023 16:19

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

FMguru posted:

Woo boy.

AITA for telling my wife to cut her losses and focus on our family?

That's right, math fans - Ava was ten when her mother destroyed her precious comfort item and told her to get the gently caress out of her house.

OP can explain, though.

Oh okay.

edit: Math fans may also enjoy comparing the age of the new couple's first child together, and the timing of the divorce.

i don't like being a maths fan, i don't want to be a maths fan anymore

# ¿ Apr 13, 2023 09:50

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Invisible Clergy posted:

At least no one will call you a yolk-assed bitch.

ya'll just afraid of getting REAL yolky, bitch.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2023 13:46

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

duck trucker posted:

Why is this guy staying at my Dad's house?

Granted it's not a tropical climate but my dad keeps the house at 80 and also turns on EVERY light in the house all day so it's unbearable to visit

dad a tropical monstera plant, so what

# ¿ May 4, 2023 11:55

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA because I think we should just trust the kids?

Well, the kid is 13 now, which means he will probably only be in his early 70s once JRR finishes winds of winter. So the older brother is only a bit of an rear end in a top hat for introducing him to an unfinished series.

# ¿ May 5, 2023 15:24

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

JRR has a hard time finishing anything.

Cause he's dead.
GRRM isn't,but he'll probably die before that,so your point still stands

Jeorges "Where's My loving Book, You Bastard" Martin is an outlier and should not have been counted on to write a sixth book of this hot mess.

# ¿ May 5, 2023 15:37

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

The fat goon jokes are just writing themselves now, huh?

# ¿ May 8, 2023 16:15

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I originally read this as Yu-gi-oh and didn't even loving blink.

AITA for sending my [M16/P1000] enemy [M18] to the shadow realm for stealing my grandfather's [M71] property and selling his soul to his business partner?

# ¿ May 25, 2023 14:36

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

How about the perennial "want poly, will blow up relationship"?

I [25 F] think i'm poly, my BF [29 M] of 3 years shot me down pretty hard, dunno what to do. [xpost /polyamory]

quote:

Hello /r/relationships, i apologize in advance for my story might not be very coherent, i'm still trying to piece what i feel together but i somehow managed to corner myself without realizing it and i feel like poo poo.

I've been with my BF for 3 years now, we met as FWB first for a while.

he developed feelings for me really quickly and wanted us to become both officials and exclusive, despite my reluctance at first i caved after a couple month and i never had to regret it as i'm now head over heels in love with him and think he's the best think that ever happened to me.

That being said, my libido gradually diminished over time to his chagrin and we struggled with that for a while. I stopped taking the pill and things improved a little bit but i still feel like crap for how things unfolds as i'm reallyu the one responsible for it.

Lately i developped a huge crush on a friend i talk with online, and noticed how it made me happier and positively affected our sex life, and all of this made me think a lot about consifering polyamory.

I read a lot of books, talked with some poly friends and, as ashamed as i am, allowed myself to explore my feelings for other boys, never acted on it but i do know it would be possible if i really wanted to.

After a while, i couldn't take it anymore and tried to bring to issue with my BF, trying to suggest poly relationship or at least get his opinion on it, and the result was disatrous.

As the subtle hints didn't seem to work at all, i tried to have a serious talk with him and, to his credit, he listened the whole time without interrupting me or asking questions.

I explained to him how i felt about me, my feelings in our relationship and couldn't stress enough how much i love him and would never do anything that hurts him, i just couldn't hide from him the way i feel.
I didn't try to hide the crush i had about other boys and reassured him nothing happened at all nor would happen that he's not 100% okay with it.
I tried to make him understand how being free and happy would enrich our relationship and i felt i did a good job at it, and finally told him that since it was a lot to process i'd appreciate he'd take some time to think before answering me, to avoid emotionnal reaction.

Again, he was amazing and thanked me for being honest and that he'd try to not make me wait too long before saying anything but that he'd need some time alone.

The next day was unbearable to me but we met again, and his answer was pretty straightforward :
No.

He's not okay with a poly relationship, he'll never be okay and has absolutely no desire to overcome his jealousy insecurity or whatever is required to overcome as he doesn't have to in order to be happy he also told me i'd better put an end to my casual flirting with my crush.

I was definitely not expecting him to be happy with this, i had prepared tons of arguments and trivia about jealousy and relationships to answer his eventual questions but this definitive answer still blindsided me, i learned he'd done his homework and read a ton of stuff about poly relationships and just decided it was not gonna happen.

He then asked me "Now is it gonna be a problem? I'm glad you opened up for me and i know this is not the answer you want, but i don't want you to resent me for being happy in our monogamous relationship so please tell me, will you resent me and be sad if it's just the two fo us? "

I honestly had no idea at all, but his resolve scared the crap out of me and i said i was okay out of fear that he'd dump me on the spot if i said otherwise.

Now he won't talk about this again and has been distant and hurt since, and i'm left wondering if i could have done anything better or if i just found a guy that is indeed, happily monogamous and confident with his choices and there's nothing i can do about it.

I love him to death but i don't know how i could salvage the situation; i feel i should kept my mouth shut.

tl;dr: Tried to suggest poly to my boyfriend, and he's adamant that it will NEVER happen ever and that if i try to pester him again about it, we're done as a couple. I'm frustrated, more by his answer than the situation. How can i deal with this?

Bolding mine, excellent Peteing from the guy.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2023 12:06

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Pookah posted:

Talking of very cool gf's, remember that guy who went on a first date, and ended up driving waaaaaay out into the woods, and finally arrived at a gated compound with a huge fence? It ends with him meeting a suspicious wolf called Emily I think.
It was really cool and nice

I keep trying to find that one but the only line I remember from it is "Charlotte Marie we DO NOT growl at guests!" and that gets no hits.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2023 11:26

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

in a way, aren't we all being constantly drenched (forced to read) in lukewarm piss (reddit posts and hot takes)?

# ¿ Jul 12, 2023 03:20

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:05

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

As someone with a very young child, I am sympathetic to the septuagenarian couple who has to watch three young children for an indeterminate length of time, but the correct response is not �come home from the hospital� it�s �hey, we�re having fun with our grandkids but looking ahead we may need some relief - do you have a backup care option we could call to make sure the kids are in good hands?�

Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. We're actually at capacity / helping someone else who's also a thousand years old / dealing with some age related stuff right now, and I don't think we can hold appropriate space for your three children. Could we connect [later date or time] instead / Do you have someone else you could reach out to?

# ¿ Jul 31, 2023 14:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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