r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Look, has no one else seen Hereditary? You have children for ONE REASON only!

Hail Paimon!

AITA I don't want to meet my child

quote:

My wife got pregnant 5 years ago. I had told her that it was due to a contraceptive fail and I don't want to have a child. I wasn't allowed to get a vasectomy done because I was too young then.

She told me I have no choice but to now take care of the child. We had a major breakout. I told her I'll be sending her about $20000 each year but she'll never see me again. I left the house and never went back. I've only been sending her the money every month through mail order.

Recently she contacted me saying the child is 4yo and i should at least try to connect with her(female child). I told her I can only send money and she wanted the child so she should be the one taking care of the child too.

She was crying and telling me the child misses her father. I told her I cannot love the child that I never wanted.

AITA?

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 02:14

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:55

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Surprise you owe me money, but you can pay me back in sex too!

What a douchecanoe.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 00:55

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

IIRC (or maybe it was another post) but the couple wasn't even married. And no common law marriage in that state.

Did he cut contact with the kid or just tell the mom it was over?

AITA for accidently causing a kid to be outed to his parents?

quote:

I'm a single dad to my daughter Kaya(16F) and she has a bestfriend Kyle (15M) who's lived next door since they were 10/11. In the last few months Kaya has expressed romantic interest in Kyle, flirting etc.

The problem is Kyle is gay and not out to anyone yet other than a secret boyfriend (another friend of theirs).The only reason I found out is because over the summer while Kaya was gone visiting her grandparents I noticed their other friend "Chris" going over to Kyle's alot more than usual. Once while going out to mow my backyard I accidentally saw them holding hands and kissing in Kyle's tree house. They noticed me and Chris booked it out of there. Kyle came to me later that day and came out to me and pleading with me not to say anything because of his dad who's not exactly PC. So I haven't said anything.

Recently Kaya has told me that she's planning on asking Kyle to be more than friends. I tried to dissasuge her and tell her it might ruin their friendship, but she was adement about it. After thinking hard bout it I decided to tell her the truth wendsday so that she would know and not get her feelings hurt and assure him not liking her back had nothing do with her as a person. This backfired as Thursday they got into a huge blowout at school and she apparently accused him of lieng to her and not trusting her to accept him and Chris and got them sent to the principals office where they called me and Kyle's parents in. The principal outed Kyle to his parents in telling them what happened and I could tell his dad was mad. Kyle was crying and I tried to get his dad to calm down and tell him it's not a big deal. He relaxed some but was still irate and the kids went back to class but got a few days of detention. When my Kaya got home I grounded her and scolded her about what she did and told her she need to apologize to Kyle. She snarked back at me that I was just as bad for saying anything. AITA?

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 20:15

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for being upset about my SO in a drinking game

quote:

Me (27M) and my GF (28F)were playing with a group of friends (which are all couples). We were playing a game called �Never Have I Ever� a drinking game in which players take turns asking other players about things they have not done. Other players who have done this thing respond by taking a drink. Anyways we were playing and when a question about �Never Have I Ever thought to have sex with other people beside my SO� my GF had taken a shot( and she was the only one out of all the couples to have taken the shot) and now I�m very upset, mad and betrayed for that. Now she�s mad at me for being mad at her due to her answer in the game and she says I�m a jerk. AITA?

P.S Sorry for the wrong grammar. English is not my native language

I think we are missing some words. If the question was "never have I ever had sex with other people while in a relationship" then yeah. But in general?

AITA for having different food delivered?

quote:

On mobile so formatting might be off.

I�m 19F and I�ve been a picky eater my entire life. I don�t have any dietary restrictions that I know of but I usually hate most things I eat. My family went out to a hibachi restaurant and forced me to come with them.

Normally my mom will buy me fast food when we go out to dinner but she didn�t stop this time because we were running late and advised me to just get the hibachi chicken and I�ll live. I complained that I�d hate it and my mom said I should try it because I might like it and because she�d been letting me live off chicken nuggets and instant ramen for too long but I really really don�t like most other foods. So I had some Burger King delivered to the hibachi place and ate it while the rest of my family enjoyed their hibachi.

Everyone in the restaurant looked at me funny but I didn�t care and just enjoyed my chicken fries. When we got home my mom said I embarrassed them in the restaurant by getting fast food delivered. But she didn�t stop for me and I paid for the delivery myself. AITA?

EDIT: No I�m not autistic and I don�t have any sensory issues. I literally just don�t like most food.

Kinda surprised the restaurant let her eat the poo poo there.

Chicken nugs and ramen. I wonder how short the list of food she likes is.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 23:28

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

wizardofloneliness posted:

Kill Ned, kill Robert, kill the HR person. She says her branch is part of a larger company, so hopefully there's another higher level manager or HR person who is unrelated to her boss she can take it to. Or at least tell the clinic to never let Ned in under any circumstances. Oh my god, this one makes me so angry. And it's not like she can just quit either because she is definitely not in a position to lose her health insurance.

Nowhere near as bad, but this reminds me of a time when my manager got contacted by HR due to an employee report. It seems she had asked him to stay late, he said he couldn't, and she pushed for details as to why. He finally told her he had to go pick up a prescription before the pharmacy closed, and again at her pushing, told her what pharmacy he had to go to. She then called him back 5 minutes later to say he could stay as late as they wanted, because the pharmacy in question didn't close for another 3 hours. She had called to verify it. Somehow she was blindsided that this was inappropriate.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2021 01:08

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

I seriously wonder what the dudes in those religions are taught. Nothing at all, I am sure, about being a ripped up piece of garbage paper the more people you kiss. Nothing at all about purity. Maybe encouragement to wait until marriage, and then game loving on?

I remember reading something from Orthodox Jewish couples, and the biggest thing the husbands complained/were unhappy with was their sex life. How their wives were never into it, or submitted but clearly found it painful. Some of them wanted their wives to actually enjoy sex, but, amazingly, being told all your life how you are gutter trash if you lose your virginity makes for some hosed up mentality.

AITA for telling my sister i hope she never has a child

quote:

This happened a few months ago and nobody in my family is speaking to me because of this. Im19f and my sister is 35f. Basically, I got pregnant at 16 and had a kid the next year. Our parents are super conservative and didn't teach us a lot about bodies so I honestly didn't know that would happen, in hindsight, I realize what I did was dumb but I love my daughter so I don't regret anything.

My sister is infertile but hasn't been able to afford fertility treatments. She also tried to adopt but said they told her no. When she found out I was pregnant she was ecstatic for the first few months and helped me a lot by taking me to appointments and making me food. Then when I was at about 6 months she asked me if she can adopt my child. I said no gently but she kept asking again and at this point, I told her not to contact me until after I give birth because she was stressing me out. I told her if she did this then id consider letting her be an aunt to my child.

She did this for the other months of my pregnancy then after my daughter was born she contacted me and now she has been a good aunt to my daughter and gets to see her one day on every other weekend (her suggestion). When I had my daughter I asked my parents if I could still go to college with the money they saved up for me since my boyfriend's mom offered to watch her while I go to school.

They told me that they gave my sister the money because she asked for it and they told me that she said that since I got a baby for free she should be able to use the money for fertility treatments. When I heard this I left my parent's house and went to my boyfriend's house because they had promised that they would let me go to college. My boyfriend said that I can stay with him at his apartment so he could see our daughter more and because of my parents.

My sister came to his apartment a few days later asking to see my daughter and I refused and said that she went behind my back and it's not fair that our parents paid for her to go to her dream school and used the money they saved for me to go to school on fertility treatments. She said that my daughter is the closest she will ever get to being a mother and that it's not fair to take that away from her. I told her to never contact me again after that and I'm considering cutting off my parents. She started screaming at me telling me I'm taking her baby away. I was fuming and told her that I hope she never has a kid because she would be a bad parent. She started sobbing and called me immature then left. My sister told my family what happened and they are all on her side and a few aunts sent me nasty voice mails.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 02:01

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for giving my sister-in-law baby formula?

quote:

I'm going to start my post by saying that I don't have kids and I have no experience with babies or motherhood or children. I'm 18 and beyond being around them in group settings where at least one of the parents and a ton of other people are around that's it. Just for some context to my post.

My brother's wife had a baby 17 days ago. I didn't go visit them yet but my brother and SIL sent me some pictures. My brother said our cousin Rachel was around a lot because my SIL is having trouble breastfeeding and Rachel is a big believer in it and is helping her. I offered to help them if I needed it and on Saturday they asked me to go to grocery store for them because no home delivery had an open spot.

When I dropped the food off I was shocked at how bad my SIL looked. She literally looked like the walking dead. Barely awake and not showered and she was actually crying because she was so frustrated. It actually scared me how bad she looked. At first I didn't want to butt in but it bothered me so much I went back to the store and got a can of baby formula. I figured it would give her a break and my niece could eat.

It was even worse when I gave it to my SIL because I said it was no big deal if my niece got formula, it wasn't a problem. My SIL broke down and I was honestly scared because she was weeping. Like in the movies when someone dies kind of weeping. No one told her it was okay not to breastfeed. She felt so guilty because of Rachel butting in and no one telling her formula was okay.

I actually ripped my brother a new one because he sat back while my SIL suffered. There was no way he didn't see how bad she looked (no offense but she looked terrible). I got my SIL to shower after my niece ate and fell asleep and I changed the sheets on the bed and told my SIL to sleep while my niece slept and I said I would get more baby formula.

I thought I did the right thing because my SIL actually stopped crying, showered and slept and the next three days she looked better and didn't cry again. My niece gets full. My idiot brother smartened up and told Rachel to stay away and everyone else especially our parents and SILs parents to butt out. They take turns feeding so they both can sleep.

My parents and Rachel are furious at me. SILs sister was in agreement with Rachel and left me an angry voicemail full of swearing. Rachel basically had SIL holding the baby while topless 24/7 and my dumbass brother sat there and didn't help with the baby at all. Rachel breastfed all her kids until they could walk and talk and never had problems but my SIL obviously did. My dad said I overstepped and should not have butted in. Normally I'm big on MYOB but this time I was scared shitless after seeing SIL on Saturday.

Since I'm not a mother or baby expert I have no idea what it is like with a newborn. I'm second guessing now after feeling like I did the right thing because everyone is angry with me and say I should MYOB.

Listen you, it is super important that breastfeeding happens, even if mom and baby can't do it, it's all that matters!

This poor SIL.

A lady I nannied for could not get her second child to latch on; turns out he was tongue-tied, and a snip later, and he was fine. But formula was always an option, and any rear end in a top hat who whines about it, especially if they aren't gonna feed the kid, needs to GTFO.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 05:02

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

At least Reddit is of the mindset that "breast is not best, FED is best."

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 05:10

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

The Glumslinger posted:

Honestly, the only problem with the outfit is you'll probably run into atleast a couple other people who had the exact same idea

The year before Covid was the last time I went to the local Renaissance Faire, and I always go as a plague doctor. Been stopped and asked for pics many times, made some kids cry, even had some kids think I was from Assassin's Creed. Favorite costume ever. And other than the staff and hat, the rest of it came from the dollar store and Walmart.

Only once did I ever run into another plague doctor. But I did get singled out by the king, who stopped the morning parade to look me over before announcing "YE GODS the Plague is back!" and then had the rest of the group run like hell into the castle.

AITA for refusing to have a baby with my husband?

quote:

My husband (Jim)and I have been together for 15 years and married for 9 years. From the beginning of our relationship Jim has declared he doesn�t want kids but would compromise and have 1 child if I desired. When we were first married I wanted a child but he always refused saying it wasn�t the right time. Jim always blamed finances as an excuse to wait. We make a combine income of over $150,000 yearly (we live in 1 of the most affordable states), our home was paid for in cash, and the only debt we�ve ever had is student loans.

As the years have went by, I gave up on ever having a child as my husband has told me no for years. I was never angry about not having children. I can say I have fully lived my life the way I wanted to with limited responsibilities. I work in health care and have received a new degree that almost tripled my salary but I have to travel for work. My husband also has to travel a 1 hour commute to and from his job.

Lately, Jim�s family and coworkers have been telling him how strange it is that we don�t have children and pressuring him. Now Jim has suddenly decided after many years that we should have a child and I�m flabbergasted. In addition to him now wanting a child he keeps bringing it up in conversations saying that we�re weird.

I�d finally had enough and I went off on him because how dare you call me weird and throw us being childless in my face because you�ve never wanted a kid until recently. I was so mad that I told him that I don�t want children with him and I may consider divorce. Whether we had children or not was never a huge deal to me. I never pressured him but now he�s pressuring me. AITA?

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 04:27

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Betazoid posted:

That rules I saw several of them at our faire this year and it was great. Some were absolutely done to the nines with fake potions and cures.

Southerner spotted. Run, lady. He'll just put a picture of the baby on his desk and do no parenting.

HEY he did his part, the actual babymaking! Like, he had to have lots of sex to do his part, all she had to do was grow the kid!

AITA for Refusing to Let My MIL Visit Her Grandchildren?

quote:

I (28f) live with my husband (28m) and our two daughters (13f) and (6f). Our daughters (who are biological sisters) were officially adopted before Covid hit, and they finally seem to be adjusting. They've endured hardships that no child should ever experience, and yet they're incredibly resilient. They're English is already impeccable, they're exceptionally kind, and they're just the bravest kids you'll ever know. But I suppose most mothers think that about their children. Anyway. My oldest was diagnosed with anorexia just before the move. Her whole world was changing around her, and her eating habits were the only thing she felt she had control over. Even though we hadn't known eachother for long, that was the most scared I've ever been in my life. She was in the PICU for a week and institutionalized afterwards. As of now, my daughter goes to therapy twice a week and is in recovery. She's made a lot of progress, and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Her birthday was yesterday, and we had a small party with family. My MIL has been a bit of a weight obsessed yoyo dieter for as long as I've known her, but I assumed she'd be understanding given what our baby has gone through. She got my daughter a Nutrisystem subscription. I'll admit I'm a bit unfamiliar with the program, but it's similar to Weight Watcher's. I immediately took the gift, and asked to speak with MIL outside, but she wasn't having it. I was trying to stay civil because I didn't want to cause a scene on my daughter's special day. But she turned to my daughter and said, "what there's nothing wrong with being healthy. I thought you wanted to drop the recent weight gain?" It was like watching the light in my daughter's face go dim. She was trying really hard not to cry, and was pouting, "I'm healthy. Dr. X says I'm healthy." I still don't know why my MIL thought this was appropriate at all, but she seems to have a very narrow view when it comes to beauty. She consistently says things like, "us girls have one second to look pretty and then it's gone." I didn't want the situation to escalate so I asked MIL to leave, and she eventually did.

I was serving breakfast this morning when my husband mentioned that MIL had lectured the girls about all the sugar in their favorite fruits and how it will lead to weight gain. (This conversation took place when I wasn't in the room) My husband only brought this up because our daughter didn't touch her apple or grapes. I was so overwhelmed and angry, I texted MIL, "If our daughter relapses because of you, you'll never see the girls again." Now, she's been trying to call me all day, panicking because she thinks she'll never see her grandkids again. My husband is pretty much on my side, but thinks I should back down on my threat. He said I can't control every trigger in the real world and he's worried about me babying the kids.

So AITA?

Getting some Beatrice Horseman vibes here. "Mother's little helpers!"

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 04:56

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

My dad was the same. Why bother thanking us or telling us we did a good job at chores when it was something he expected us to do anyway?

gently caress, years ago when I worked in the copy center, my boss had a week vacation, and a customer came in with a huge order. Like six grand of printing. My coworker and I busted our rear end to get it done, sending out what we could, and otherwise running it nonstop on our lovely two printers. Customer was thrilled, we were stoked, and when our boss came back, I proudly showed him the order.

"Oh that's nice, I pulled in that much on an order a few weeks ago. There's customers on the floor, go help them."

I didn't expect a loving parade, but even some fake gratitude would have been nice.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 15:49

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for not covering up while feeding in front of my 7 yo?

quote:

Okay, so hear me out. Little back story. I (27F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been together 5 years. I have a 7 yo son from a past relationship. My boyfriend is incredibly conservative, and before we had our current baby (3mo F) we had a screaming fight about Brady feeding and how he feels any public feeding is inappropriate. Especially when at restaurants. I was livid. I always assumed he would have my back, and once the fog cleared, it seemed he did. Never once had he said anything about how or where I feed until today. I woke up at 6 am, and in a daze Began getting my 7 yo ready for school. I feel it necessary to tell you I sleep with no top or bra, easier to feed on demand. My boyfriend came out and told me to cover up, and that its "inappropriate". I honestly lost it guys. I said that men are the ones who have sexualized my body and there's nothing inappropriate about me feeding my baby. I said I wished he had younger siblings so maybe he would have had that same experience. I reminded him he gets to walk around anywhere he wants with no shirt. Maybe I am the ah? But I think it's kind of weird he's acting like that about something totally not sexual. He even compared it to masturbating in front of him?! Tell me I'm not crazy, lol.

Edit: other than this i have zero issues with this man. He's always sweet, open minded and supportive. So this whole thing threw me for a loop honestly. I don't think my man would ever intentionally be a jerk to anyone. Thats the most confusing part!

My man is super sweet and open minded and conservative, so we have two kids outside of marriage and he doesn't want me to expose my breast when feeding our baby.

Kinda surprised he doesn't want blinders on the baby so kid doesn't get weird ideas.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2021 16:55

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for telling my sister in law get over me ruining her wedding

quote:

So I (30) was due two weeks before my bothers (27m) wedding back in 2019

But the day of I went into labour while getting ready. I planned a home birth with a few family members (mother,father,both grandmothers, youngest bother,aunts) and since it was the first grandchild from my side everyone was excited to be there . Because my labour and delivery took 16 hours they obviously ended up missing the whole wedding to be with me

I will fully admit I was glad because I needed them more because a birth is more important than a wedding. My bother was upset and kept arguing that they could have come for a few hours, he was told my wellbeing was more important than a silly party (moms words not mine )

He was low contact till my sister in law(29f) found out she was pregnant with triplets. my brother and sil have been enjoying all the attention because obviously triplets don�t happen often and it�s the first multiple birth in our family in 19 years. Every time I visit my parents or ring a family member it�s triplet talk or a conversation about my bother/sil

On to the situation it was my 30th today and I decided to hold myself a bit of a party to celebrate because the big 3�0 because it only comes around once so why not live up my last day of youth!!

Days leading up to it my sister in law kept making jokes about going into labour to pay me back for the wedding. I�d just roll my eyes and tell her to grow up

Tonight while the party was in full bloom my sister faked her waters breaking (with the help of my brother) and going into labour. Ofc all attention was on them, than while they pretended to call an ambulance my youngest brother brought in the cake. everyone started laughing. My sister in law said �hehehe pay back but anyway happy birthday op� than everyone started singing I was so angry I cut everyone off because my mood and party was ruined

I turned to my sister in law and said �get over me ruining your lovely wedding everyone came to my side out of their free will and btw you where a massive bridezilla�

My brother told me back off but I told him it was pathetic he was using a his wife�s pregnancy to get attention from our parents and told him I�d be gifting a therapy session for a baby shower gift. They left and everyone turned on me saying they all know and they where part of joke (if you haven�t guessed it, it was to get attention to the door my brother was bringing the cake in)

I ended up leaving in tears because my birthday was ruined

A home birth that takes 16 hours.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 00:45

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Pretty normal for a first labor?

Holy cow, did I not want anybody but my husband there, because I wanted to be as loud as I wanted to and as messy as was unavoidable. Also, home birth never tempted me because I wanted somebody else washing the sheets.

Less about the time and more about having the entire family there. Like, what are they all gonna do for that time?

WIBTA if I share to a select few people why I am not supporting a friend's pregnancy?

quote:

2 of our wider friends group are Nicole and Jack. They are in their early 30s, married for 6 years. They met through me, so I'm quite close to them and loved them dearly.

Throughout their marriage, Nicole has had several miscarriages, and unimaginable heartache when it comes to her 2 births. She had a son that passed away at 3 months old, then 2 years later a daughter that passed away at 8 months old. They didn't share any medical reasons with us for any of the above, nor did we expect details on their difficulties and tragedies. They had a fundraiser for each child, to which we all pitched in, and we also paid towards what they claimed/we assumed were standard IVF treatments to get the pregnancies in the first place.

Roughly between me and my friends, we have paid about 40k, with me contributing the lion's share. I wait until after the timer(?) runs out, and make up the remaining difference. I never begrudged them this, as it is not a financial burden for me.

I recently found out that the reason why they are having issues is because they both have a specific gene (don't ask me what it is, I would never reveal it here). On its own, or only in one parent, it isn't a problem, but they both have it, and that makes pregnancies very difficult/unlikely, miscarriages very likely, and the worst part: infants have a very very low chance of survival past their first year, which would also be filled with hospital/ER visits, something we knew happened to both their previous children. Even if the infants make it past the first 12-18 months, their life will be filled with pain, and with serious medical complications. Likelihood of blindness is super high, and general lifespan does not look good. And apparently their "IVF" treatments were so expensive because they had to go to non-US countries, to avoid/bypass the genetic testing that most legit companies do.

Ever since I found this out, my perception of them has fundamentally changed. I judge them, hard. Not because they want kids, because I am sure they would make excellent parents. Their insistence, however, to have biological kids knowing the likelihood of non-survival, and the quality of life they would be condemning their child to, and that they knowingly brought children into their world that, for their short lifespan, knew that they would hurt so much... Yeah, I am judging the gently caress out of them.

Now that quarantine has eased and they could travel again, they are once again asking monetary help for a new attempt at getting pregnant. They also want to meet up with everyone. I declined all the invitations, and have not contributed at all to their new money raiser, which has raised eyebrows. Friends are curious as to how come I have withdrawn all of my support, and I don't know what to say. They know I don't suffer for money, and they know I loved N&J. They are lowkey starting to judge me now, and are getting noticeably colder towards me.

WIBTA if I shared with at least only my best friends in this group the reason why I'm not helping anymore? I am almost certain if they know, they will also "judge" and withdraw support, or even confront Nicole and Jack, and well, here we are.

Edit 1: INFO seems to focus on how I found out. As I mentioned in a comment: They didn't tell me themselves, and I don't think they know I know. One of Nicole's distant cousins started in my company and is working very close to me, and we were discussing the latest fundraiser. He knows because he has the same genetic issue. I can't see a reason for him to lie, from what I could tell he really felt for Nicole, and he isn't a mean/bitter person (from the few months I have known him, at least).

Tay-Sachs?

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Oct 29, 2021

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 04:49

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Thinking about the couple with genetic issues wanting more IVF money, and I wonder if it's some munchausen by proxy poo poo. That they thrive on the sympathy of their friends after a miscarriage or baby death?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 15:20

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

That is always the sheer WTF of cheaters: people will think what I did is bad, so I need to make my partner look bad, therefore what I did is not nearly as bad now!

AITA for making a budget to show how my niece how hard it would be if she married her fianc�?

quote:

My niece is engaged to her new boyfriend. They have been dating for 4 months and she is just 19. My brother told her that he will stop funding her life if she marries him. My niece is pretty spoiled. She visited me last week. I think she thought I would be supportive because I was also cut off because I refused to divorce my wife.

She was telling me who she knew it would be difficult but she could manage because she loved him. I asked her if she had a budget she said she didn't. I offered to help make her one and she was enthusiastic.

She didn't know how much he made and when she texted him about it he was being shady and not responding. So I assumed he would make 16 dollars per hour and work 12 hours per a day for 6 days and 10,000 dollars in tips and I assumed she would work the same hours and make the same amount.

I then showed her how much things will actually cost and budgeted them figures in. I also emphasized that these were very generous assumptions on my part and It is a rosier picture than reality. It still meant that she would have to make substantial changes to her lifestyle and I think it dawned on her how drastically different it would be to date someone without money and be actually married to them.

She asked me how we made it work and I told her that my wife and I had sat down for hours preparing budgets and getting ready to be cut off and we were cut off in our early thirties and already had two great careers and received other inheritances which had helped immensely/ She was sober and serious when she left my house.

She broke up with him and has moved back home. It appears she asked him about his salary and it was lower than my assumptions and that freaked her out and she broke up with him.

She is upset and she said I scared her and she really misses him. My wife said that I was a bit manipulative with my assumptions as I did know they were more generous than normal and she would freak out when she tried to make a real budget. I did know that and It does make me feel a bit bad. I feel like I played her here.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 17:46

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Hughlander posted:

AITA for making vegan/tofu tetrizini for dinner, after my husband decided to try going vegan, then serving it to my BIL after they came over unannounced, and refusing to remake it with chicken after they didn�t like it?

Who the gently caress just drops by and expects to be fed?

Ugh these are store brand nuggies, can you at least spring for the good ones?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2021 22:57

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for not having a traditional wedding even though my fiance wants one?

quote:

My fiance and I met in 2016 at a mutual friend's wedding. We became friends but things didn't turn romantic until I moved to his home country. He loves my culture a lot, so I try to involve him in it as much as I can.

We are planning our wedding right now and he keeps insisting that we have a traditional wedding. I've explained to him that I do not want a traditional wedding because the way it favours the man bothers me. I tried to compromise by updating the ceremony, he doesn't want to compromise because "it won't be authentic".

He decided to go behind my back and involve my mother in planning the traditional wedding of his dreams. I was livid and I told him either he respects my wishes about the traditional wedding or there will be no wedding.

My family thinks I'm being too harsh and that this is his only chance to have a wedding like this so I should go through with the ceremony.

AITA?

EDIT: A traditional wedding in my culture involves the payment of bride price, a virginity test, and my father or head of house relinquishing his authority over me to my husband.

Wow, I see a long marriage here.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 15:02

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

hallo spacedog posted:

All signs of a very healthy relationship!

Well look, how else are healthy relationship is supposed to work? She can't be a bangmaid once she has a kid! Now she's a mom!

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 17:23

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for asking my husband and in-law's to watch how they talk about the daughter I'm pregnant with in front of our 3 year old daughter?

quote:

I have a 3 year old daughter with my husband and I am expecting our second daughter in a couple of months. It has brought up some trauma for me that I need to deal with, I know, but I also want to stop history from repeating itself.

When I was 5 my parents had my brother and when I was 7 my sister was born. My parents did not handle adding a child on very well and were pretty bad with me, and a little with my brother but mostly me. I was no longer a priority once he was born. I was almost like a roommate. One they could easily forget. My sisters first Christmas they brought my siblings to see Santa. Forgot me at home and didn't realize for 3 hours. Mom called on the payphone to make sure they forgot me at home and not somewhere else. Took them an hour to get back because they stopped for food on the way home. And never made it up to me. When I graduated high school they prioritized my sisters dance recital over my graduation ceremony and the biggest kick in the balls was I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 16 and graduating was a miracle of sorts. Which brings me to when I was 13 and my English teacher suspected something was up. She and the principal tried to meet with my parents and they didn't show up on four different occasions. Never called to say or anything, just left them waiting, because my brother had baseball and my sister had dance class. I was 19 when I talked to my parents and they told me I had stopped being their priority when my brother was born. They said you can only have one priority.

I never believed that. But then I noticed when I announced my second pregnancy, everything became about that. Our daughter got overlooked. Even my husband. He promised to play with her one Saturday when he was off work and then he decided the crib needed to go up instead. My in-law's have babysat for us and have a room at the house for our daughter, their only grandchild. Last time she was there the whole room was turned into a nursery with a small bed for her to one side, none of the toys she loved there anymore, none of the fun stuff they had painted on the walls. Everyone talks about this baby all the time. And she gets way less time now, way less interest in her. And it freaks me out. I don't want her to be me. And I don't want to do the opposite to try and combat the risk of her feeling less important.

I spoke to my husband first and he was taken aback but realized I was right, his family were less receptive. They told me I was an rear end in a top hat for projecting so much and accusing them of being monsters. They also told me I shouldn't try to dictate their behavior or what they do with their own home.

I feel bad. It's caused a lot of issues. My husband is by my side. But did I gently caress this up? AITA?

When my nephew was 8/9, his half brother was born, and J went from being the first and only grandchild in two extended families to the second one. It was clear right off so much attention was on his stepmom's baby, and I am surprised he didn't act out a lot more. When I got notice about the birth, I sent the usual gift (baby wipes, I think) to the family...and a box of Legos for J as a Big Brother present. His stepmom, my SIL, texted me to thank me for that; apparently she was the only other person who got him a big brother/welcome the new baby home present, and it helped J not feel so replaced or looked over.

So for the next few years I always made sure to send something small to J when O had a birthday party, even just a Lego minifig pack.

I mean, not quite the same thing, but I know with pets, bringing a new one home, many people tend to ignore the not-new dog in favor of the puppy. And animals will show their displeasure a lot quicker than people will.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 19:42

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Less water more blood.

AITA For excluding my husband from my brother's funeral after he called me with the news and told me to guess?

quote:

I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident 3 weeks ago at the age of 21. This was sudden and devastating beyond measure. I live 3 towns away from my entire family and I didn't know about it right away.

My husband was calling when I walked into the room where my phone on vibrate and charging. I answered and he asked why I didn't answer my sister's calls. I asked why and wether she called him. He said yes then proceeded to tell me he recieved the news of a family members death from her. I was shaking at this point while I was waiting for him to tell me more but he said "guess who!". I angerily told him to stop it and tell me but he still thought it's fine to ask me to guess that's when I lost it on him because my nerves were done. I yelled at him then hung up and immediately called my sister and she told me it was our youngest brother.

I had an awful reaction because this is my baby brother that I adored so much and my husband knew how much I cared about him. I drove to my hometown 6 hours away by myself and my husband was mad after he found out I didn't wait for him to take him with me. I told him I didn't want him there after how he treated me and played my emotions like that. He said he was trying to prevent me from being traumatized and didn't want to dish the news all of sudden. He wanted to come but I said I'd have kicked out if he showed up which got him pissed yelling that I had no right to rob him if saying goodbye to his favorite brother in law. He said my anger was misplaced and I was taking it out on him for no reason other than being the "bearer of the bad news" and that nobody wants to be that person but he tried to be as nice as he could about it. I haven't talked to him eversince despite him calling me to come home so we can talk.

When my friend and previous professor died this past April, another student-friend texted me and said she had to talk to me. It took a while to get her to answer, and when I hear her crying, I asked her straight out, was it about her family, or the professor's family? We were all friends post class, she met her husband because of him, I nannied for him for about six years. She said the latter. I listed off the family members until I said his name, and when she started crying again, I knew.

No one ever texts you news like that unless they literally can't talk about it.

edit: I mean that my friend called me to tell me a mutual friend of ours had died. or rather was dying. But she and I barely spoke the past few years, and we weren't that close. Even then, she didn't make a game out of it.

The Reddit lady's husband was a total loving monster. I'm only surprised he wasn't recording for TikTok.

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 00:56 on Oct 31, 2021

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 00:50

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Middle class problems.

AITA for buying my daughter a purple tablet?

quote:

My husband and I decided to get my daughter a new tablet for Christmas because she broke her last one. We were waiting for a good sale and we found one. My husband sent me the link and the coupon code and asked me to order it. When I opened the page I saw that they came in a few colors including purple which is my daughter's favorite color. I bought the purple one. It came in the mail today and now my husband is throwing a fit that I didn't get a black one. He thinks that if we decided to sell it one day it wouldn't sell as well as a black one. This is a tablet for a 6 year old, I don't think it will last long enough to be resold at any point. I told him that and that it was for her and not him and she loves purple. He told me he thinks I bought the purple one just to irritate him. I told him that was kind of narcissistic, thinking that I bought something for my daughter in her favorite color just to piss him off. Now he's giving me the silent treatment, slamming doors and stomping around. So, I need your help, am I the rear end in a top hat?

Edit to answer some questions. No the purple one didn't cost any more, all the colors were the same price. We have another tablet he could have if he wanted it. Yes, this is a fairly common thing, we were separated for a while but had to move back in together for financial reasons. And for the guy asking why we'd buy a tablet for a 6 year old, it was $40 and it's set up with strict parental controls, she can only use it for educational games and videos.

You got your daughter something she liked just to make me mad!

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 01:09

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for Banning My Son From Trick or Treating for Framing our Dog?

quote:

Our dog has been trained to go outside. But lately, he has been going number two on the rug, in the same place, every day for a week. I find the same surprise when I�ve gotten home for seven days straight. However, when I got up to get a drink of water in the kitchen last night, I caught my 8-year-old son in the act squatting down and defecating on the kitchen floor.

I immediately told him to explain himself, and he said that he found my reaction to the dog�s surprises funny, and that he�d been the one defecating for the whole week. As punishment, he will not go trick or treating with me and his little sister tonight.

His little sister, who is six, thought that my brother was gross, but said that he would still go trick or treating. My wife agrees with her, and says that he shouldn�t have to stay home for Halloween for a second year in a row.

Yeah no, kid-shitter stays the gently caress home.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 00:20

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for dumping my husband's dinner instead of re-heating it?

quote:

I'm a new mom of a 4 months old boy. I'm a stah so I take care of cleaning, making dinner and child care while my husband works at the gas station.

Lately he's been spending too much time in the bathroom and end up being late for dinner which is usually ready at 8pm everytime. He'd stay gone for over an hour and have me reheat his dinner for him after he complains from being on his feet all day. I didn't like that on top of taking care of the baby, cleaning, cooking that I have to wait for him and reheat his dinner for him. Here's a scary piece of info he doesn't know how to use the microwave properly and ended up causing several accidents that almost caused us our home in the past.

It all came to head last night. Dinner was ready at 8 but he was taking too long in the bathroom. I went to feed my son and my husband came back and sat in the kitchen asking me to come reheat his dinner while I was breastfeeding in the livingroom. I said No I was busy and he kept insisting. I told him to wait til I'm finished feeding our son but he complained about being hungry. I got so angry I said either wait or do it yourself but he kept calling me to do it. I told him if he ask one more time I'd dump his dinner in the trash but he insisted so I got up and walked into the kitchen, grabbed his plate and dumped the food right into the trashcan as he kept saying wtf?wtf?wtf?. He looked astonished then said I was crazy. I told him I was busy feeding our son and it wasn't my fault he didn't show up for dinner when it was hot. I said I was done waiting for him arm and leg to reheat his dinner for him. He said none of this justifies me throwing away his dinner and that it wasn't fair that he had no dinner after working all day and blamed me saying I needed to check myself and drop this passive agressibe attitude. He got up and we argued some more then he stormed off after calling me crazy again.

We haven't been talking since the incident occurred and I feel guilty for acting upon my frustation and anger and in the heat of the moment and think maybe I should apologize for making him go to bed hungry.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 00:31

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for making fun of someone's family after he made fun of mine?

quote:

I (15M) have two mums. Last week was the 5th anniversary of the first night my sisters and I spent in their care, so I made some posts on social media to celebrate. Apparently, a lot of people didn't realise that I have two mums until now, and the reaction was mixed.

One guy in particular, who we'll call Jacob, started posting all these nasty, homophobic things that I don't want to repeat. He also said things about how children need a mother and a father to grow up "right". Jacob's father left when he was little and I was upset about him saying those things about my family, so I commented "if children need a father to grow up right, where's your dad?"

He blocked me and deleted the comment, but screenshots have been going around. A lot of people have said I went too far and that our situations aren't the same. AITA?

Oh yeah it's fine to be homophobic but don't you dare throw the rock back at me!

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 14:05

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for lettingmy child climb on a rock?

quote:

Hi, I'm a 34 year old woman and my 3 children are a 12 year old boy, a 9 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. My husband is a 35 year old man.

A couple weeks ago we went on a trip to visit some historical sites in several countries in Europe (basically like a roadtrip). My husband had a terrible headache on the fourth day of our trip so he stayed at the hotel while our children and I went to a dolmen. When we got there my children were a bit bored so I let them run around and play for a bit (there weren't a lot of people so they were not bothering anyone) and than my 9 year old climbed on one of the boulders of the dolmen. He looked so proud of himself when he managed to climb up so I wanted to take a photo of him but than a girl (around 19 I'd say) walked up to me and sarcastically asked "do you let your kids climb on their grandparent's graves like that too?". Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her to mind her own bussiness and said that a 5000 year old dead guy won't mind it if a child climbs on a rock. Her face looked like I just killed a puppy in front of her and she walked away.

When we got back to the hotel I told my husband about it and he said that it's a bit tasteless to let someone climb on what's "essentially a gravestone". I got mad because he wouldn't support me and undermined me in front the children like that. I went to the bathroom where I called my sister to tell her what happend. She said that the girl shouldn't have approached me like that but that I was also wrong for the way I responded to her. I told her that the girl was out of line talking to someone that's older then her like that and I hung up.

It's been a couple weeks now and it just hasn't been sitting right with me. I've been thinking that maybe I am the rear end in a top hat and I guess I can see why someone would see a dolmen as a grave.

So, am I the rear end in a top hat for letting my child climb on a rock?

Do you want demon possession in your kid? Cause this is how you get demon possession in your kid.

Good news, demon possession might make you parent.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 14:09

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Still desperately want to know what was really in that surveillance footage

There has to be something a lot more damning than what he said.

I do like the "I was drunk!" excuse, which proves to me I cannot ever start drinking, because alcohol just removes all the inhibitors you have normally. I'm afraid I would try to chat someone up about some Flannery O'Connor short stories. "No, I'm not racist, that's the title!"

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 05:22

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

spouse posted:

There are very few things less attractive in a sexual partner than being insecure that you might feel pleasure they didn't cause.

I wish this would fit as a thread title. gently caress, there should be a whole chapter in Sex Ed with this title.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 14:11

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

If God drat Hank Hill is able to take a girl to a doctor, and then to a grocery store to pick up pads, what the hell is your excuse?

# ¿ Nov 4, 2021 02:42

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

That beatdown, drat. About ten years overdue.

Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the face.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 02:28

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Being pregnant sounds like you are mind controlled by the fetus. There is nothing you can do against these pregnant cravings. The fetus rules your every move. You must eat everything the fetus wants. Birthday cake. Wedding cake. The workplace fridge contents.

I mean that or you expect the world to give you everything because you're pregnant.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 05:50

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for being upset about an employee making the same as me?

quote:

For context I�m the manager of a small book store, my boss and I are best friends and it�s just been the two of us working for a while until a few weeks ago. He hired someone new and didn�t ask my opinion on it at all. He also gave her a key which I JUST got a key when I became manager and that definitely upset me. I opened the store last night and texted her to come if she wanted a shift and btw this is nothing against the woman she is super sweet and she has 2 adopted daughters to take care of and she�s newly a single mom so I get why she needed another job I just wish I wouldn�t have walked in in the interview with bo heads up.

So fast forward to the shift. I�m obviously doing everything and showing her the ropes I wouldn�t expect anything more from her first shift. But what bothered me is her inviting her teenage kids to the store and going to take care of them while I take care of all the customers alone. Also her having personal conversations and leaving the store to have a 10 minute personal conversation while the store is busy. I had no intention of confronting her it�s her first day and maybe she is just trying to get the hand of it.

What really hurt me is coming to find out my boss paid us the same for the day. She got paid the same as me the manager to be trained and to walk around the store having personal conversation and not help me with anything. I feel sick thinking about it and I am going to confront him but deep down I also feel guilty about this because she has apartment rent and two kids but on the other hand I don�t understand how having obligations makes it okay for you to slack off and get paid the same as the manager.. I�m conflicted it feels like he is going to jump over onto her side and I am already looking for other jobs because I don�t want to have to quit and not have something lined up.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 19:31

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

kimbo305 posted:

Who is the she who answered?

I believe it was the receptionist who was the op's mom's friend?

# ¿ Nov 6, 2021 20:55

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA For refusing to use hand sanitizer?

quote:

I 25F work as a grocery store cashier. We all know why the store keeps bottles of hand sanitizer at every station, including dispensers. The sanitizer has a strong smell that I can�t get rid of no matter how many times I wash my hands. I have to soak in the tub for an hour to get rid of that chemical smell. I have pet birds and for those of you who don�t know, birds have very sensitive respiratory systems. I�m concerned the chemical smell of the sanitizer could hurt them. One day I had to change my register�s trash can. My next customer, who watched me do it demanded I use hand sanitizer before touching her items since I just handled the trash. I refused for the reasons I stated above. I also explained that my trash can had no germs because being a register trash can, it was literally only full of paper. She refused to take the receipt from me so I just shoved it in her bag once I was done bagging her groceries. She then proceeded to pump an absurd amount of sanitizer into her hand and rub it all over her bags and items, glaring at me with disgust whilst I probably looked at her like she was crazy. AITA?

Uh, yeah, rear end in a top hat. I don't use the poo poo sanitizer my work provides because it reeks like gasoline, so I use my own. Which is sometimes on my hands when I handle my pets, ranging from cats to snakes to fish.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2021 03:16

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

I'm still trying to understand the whole forcing the daughter to live in her dead brother's room.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2021 04:50

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Thread is sadly locked. But imagine the fun in store when the girlfriend starts dating again.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2021 05:17

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for walking out of a coworker's D&D game?

I remember an rpg where one of the girls threw a HUGE fit because your character could only be in a relationship with another if you two were in real life, so anyone whose char "made the moves on her man" was a homewrecker.

She was not very fun to play with. Still 100% better than two others (one was a DM from Hell, who literally moved the game around various worlds without warning, and was surprised when I was turned off by my character being moved back and forth in time when there was no indication of a loving time machine anywhere, and her chars were all 100% superpowered MarySues. And the other I think I have mentioned, who played EVERY CHAR other than my single one, refused to let me play anyone else, and got mad if I went 'off script.' As in she had already written up everything that she wanted to have happen, and if my char didn't follow, she would force the play to that point until my char eventually followed. My char wants to go to a bar? No, she doesn't feel like that, she wants my char to go on a quest, so she'd say the bar was closed, everything was closed, char HAD to go on this quest.)

AITA for yelling at my fiance's son?

quote:

I (20, he/they) live with my fianc� (60, he/she) and her son (19, he/him). Earlier, UPS delivered a package from Amazon Prime. The son immediately assumed it was for him, a package he had ordered. Without even bothering to check who it was addressed to, he opened it.

When I saw one of the items from my Amazon Christmas list sitting on a stool in the kitchen the next time I came into the house, I got angry and stormed into the living room asking how he justifies opening my Christmas presents.

He thinks I'm in the wrong for being upset. He insists he hasn't hurt anything by opening my package. I think he's in the wrong for opening a package that was not addressed to him and for spoiling my gift. I wasn't going to check what was in the package until Christmas because I knew it was a gift from my mother. I like my gifts to be surprises. AITA for yelling at him?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 03:04

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for refusing to return my $400 wedding dress like my fianc� requested?

quote:

I (f27) have been with my fiance for 2 years. He's 32, divorced doctor and lived in another town but we moved in together 7 months ago and got engaged. Unlike my exes, he's a decent, level-headed guy though he can be a bit overdramatic when it comes to financials.

Growing up I've always dreamed of what my wedding dress will look like. I went wedding dress shopping with friends although my fiance wanted to go with me like he always does but of course he couldn't. I purchased a really really nice wedding dress that I instantly fell in love with. It is perfect in every aspect and it only cost $400 that's a great deal since wedding dress tend to be expensive here. When I got back and was so thrilled my fiance asked to see it then asked how much it cost.

When I told him he was in dismay and started complaining saying I wasted that much money on a colorless dress that I'll wear for just few hours and should've bought a 150$ dress or less. I said no wedding dresses are huge deal to every bride. He argued about how weddings and everything that come with them are just part of the laws our society keeps enforcing on us and that only smart brides save money instead of blowing it all on... a dress. I replied that I didn't appreciate how he belittled my joy with the dres and he said he didn't think he is entering a marriage with a financially responsible woman which is a huge problem and demanded I fix my mistake and return the dress and get a cheaper one asap. I said that was ridiculous since I worked and paid for the dress with my money and also I care about the type of wedding dress I want to wear in my big day and every bride want to look their best in their dream wedding dress he obviously has no idea.

He laughed at me asking if I was even listening to myself talking like a spoiled 16 year old about her "future dream wedding". He said I was wrong for not consulting him about the dress before buying it otherwise we wouldn't even be having this discussion. Long story short I refused to return it and he pitched a fit calling me irresponsible and childish for being okay with blowing that much money on a dress even though we're doing well financially but he was having none of it. He left after saying I have xyz days to return the dress and we'll talk. He texted saying he doesn't understand how I'm choosing a dress over him and acting inconsiderate of his feelings since he's the one I'm marrying and not the Goddamn dress.

He hasn't talked to me since then and keeping redirecting my messages and calls. AITA?

I see this marriage lasting long.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2021 15:14

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

NeuralSpark posted:

I bought a small condo for my father to retire into after he spent his retirement and home equity trying to save my mother's life in the US' hellworld healthcare system. I did let a cousin stay in the extra bedroom for several months rent-free to get back on their feet after a nasty divorce. Do I go to the guillotine when the revolution starts? I can't really tell where I stand, and need to set my expectations.

EDIT: A lovely snipe. Here's my feeble attempt at content.

I like how, as with most "traditional" people, baby out of wedlock is a huge NO, but sex out of wedlock is Eh.

More tRaDiTiOn!

AITA for going along with my husband's family's sexist tradition because it benefits me and the only person it hurts is MIL, who treats me badly?

quote:

My husband and I have been married for nine months. I have some issues with his mom talking badly about me behind my back, being condescending, and genuinely being negative about our marriage based on us being a young couple.

My husband's grandparents are divorced, and GMIL usually does all of the holidays. GFIL had an affair with his employee who is the same age as MIL, so the family took GMIL's side and always spends holidays with her. The tradition is the oldest girl in each generation gets first dibs on hosting. Only when the "matriarch" is tired of it does it move on to the next generation. MIL is her parent's only daughter.

GMIL is doing Thanksgiving this year but has decided it is too much work, and she is ready to hand it over. I just assumed it would go to MIL, the only daughter, but I was told it is going to me, due to MIL being unmarried. I was pretty surprised, but I was also excited. I love the idea of doing it at my home, and when we have kids it will be much easier.

MIL protested that she was getting skipped and GMIL said it was because MIL doesn't have a family (meaning she is divorced) so she doesn't count because she isn't really a household, and it's always gone to a family and not a single person. MIL started to yell at GMIL that she is a doctor, she is capable of cooking a meal, and that it doesn't make sense. MIL is divorced and just moved in with her boyfriend. GMIL said MIL doesn't have a family, so it doesn't make sense. MIL started crying and yelling at her mom that she didn't chose for FIL to have a midlife crisis and nuke their marriage and that we are all sexist assholes.

MIL is currently not talking to any of us. My husband reached out and she told him to gently caress off. She won't talk to her mom who is devastated, and she is suddenly buddy buddy with her dad's affair partner.

Now here's the thing, i think MIL is right. she shouldn't be punished for being single. Her not having a husband doesn't make her incapable of cooking dinner, and she has waited years for it to be her turn. However I dislike MIL due to her treatment of me, and I am not willing to stick my neck out for her. MIL told me I should decline on the basis that it is sexist and gross. I told her it is pretty sexist and gross, but she is an rear end in a top hat to everyone and i'm not doing her a favor. GMIL is very upset about her daughter not talking to her, and I almost feel like I should make peace.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2021 19:25

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:55

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

I remember as a kid, my grandma would host Thanksgiving some years, but it wasn't until I got older I realized all the snipes she sent my mom's way about not hosting/not eating enough/you're too fat why are you getting seconds/get thirds you'll have enough leftovers for later!

AITA For Admitting To My Husband That I Wasn't Actually Happy On Our Wedding Day?

quote:

I (30f) have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 4 of them. I love him and I am genuinely happy with our marriage and the life we've built together with our children. I was happy the day he proposed. I was happy during our honeymoon. We've had our ups and downs ever since, but overall I would say that I was happy. Although, I wasn't happy during the planning and actual wedding. Why? Because it wasn't the wedding I wanted.

A few months into the engagement my husband's grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and was expected to live long. Our wedding was predicted to be the last big family event that she would ever attend. Of course I felt sad and was more than willing to change the date of the wedding to better suit her needs, but what I was not expecting was that it would become HER wedding and I was to be treated like a figure on a play set. She picked out the venue, the color scheme, the food, music, the flowers, and even my dress.

It all started out as subtle suggestions but when I started to try and put my foot down I was called a heartless bridezilla who couldn't honor a dying woman's request, and the fact that they were paying very little into the actual wedding would be an AH thing to bring up. After a fight my husband was told to reconsider the engagement if I couldn't do this "one thing" and how a wedding was more important to me than actually becoming a part of the family. Knowing that I'd never win, I sat in my car and cried for an hour mourning the loss of the wedding I wanted and in the end let the In Laws have their way. I didn't even attend further meetings to discuss the planning and left both the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette party early.

One the actual day I swallowed my disappointment and just went through the motions. Since then my sister and best friend each had their weddings and I was MOH for both and was excited each time. I took my role very seriously and had a lot of fun. My cousin is getting married and asked me to be her MOH and I jumped at the chance. Recently, I've been spending hours on the phone/Zoom putting together a planning binder. My husband took note of my enthusiasm and made a joke about "missing that energy" on our day and brushed it off. After that I cut down my wedding planning in his presence but he wouldn't let up citing that we don't keep any wedding photos out, that I got rid of my dress as soon as I could and how I looked so much more happy at someone else's wedding than our own. He wouldn't let up and eventually we got into a fight where I finally confessed that while I love him I hated our wedding. My husband is now hurt and giving me the silent treatment. AITA?

No word if the grandmother is around still. I bet she would have looked so lovely in the dress! I mean, assuming she even let the OP stand in the bride's place in the wedding.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2021 19:47

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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