WWE: Lowtax worked his head into a shoot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > WWE: Lowtax worked his head into a shoot

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Ginette Reno posted:

I still don't understand how he managed to stay in character and keep trying to do the bit. He had to be in awful pain right there. What a maniac

I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say drugs

Gavok posted:

My favorite Vince McMahon story is the current one where after 20 years of people accepting that Triple H would be taking over WWE eventually and would rule the wrestling world, Vince made him the fall guy for AEW's success and not only practically disowned him, but burned all of his pet projects to the ground out of spite. And during all of this, Triple H had a heart attack.

That's some loving prestige drama poo poo right there. I can't wait til everyone involved is dead (give it a decade) and we can get a biopic.

Also I learned that there's a good chance that Vince McMahon is literally Donald Trump's half-brother.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2022 08:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 22:26

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

gbs but from 2004 posted:

sorry for seriouspost but

Is this real? Who�s gonna inherit WWE now then? I thought for sure HHH was running things by now (I haven�t kept up with it)

The real funny thing about wrestling is that the wrestling is fake but the drama is real

# ¿ Jan 28, 2022 09:59

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Vince = DJT Sr
Triple H = Eric
Shane = DJT Jr
Stephanie = Ivanka

I mean aside from that they are probably each others' only real friends and may be related, it's hard to tell who based their persona on who first

# ¿ Jan 29, 2022 18:15

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Marshal Prolapse posted:

If you look into Vince's childhood, oh boy is that screwed up, along with his mom, who may have been chill with Vince being sexually assaulted as a child.

I'm not surprised, these rich fuckers do absolutely horrible poo poo to their kids.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2022 06:01

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Still lol that apparently Vince's dad cucked Trump's dad and they may actually be brothers

# ¿ Feb 3, 2022 16:52

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

dangerstepp posted:

Lmao wrestling has never been more dead.

Neckbeards keep it on life support.

Between that and... pretty much everything described above; only 2 dudes actually matter because of blatant executive favouritism and doing the same poo poo over and over, kept in life support by rusted-on fans and merchandising, it sounds like the equivalent of comic books.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2022 07:45

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Actually, it's especially like comic books but if everyone aged in real time. So management has gone out of its way to shut out anyone they don't like, which includes anyone younger than 50, until they've got an empty bench but for no-names and half-dead geezers, and gimmicks no one likes.

Basically the Democratic party bench.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2022 15:30

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

lol, the Shockmaster

# ¿ Feb 5, 2022 02:20

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Time_pants posted:

Exactly.

Danielson and his fans had to fight tooth and nail for months to actually get WWE to relent (same with Kofi Kingston). Punk's experience at WWE was so awful it put him off of wrestling for 7 years.

I guess it would be more accurate to say "Vince will do everything in his power to punish people who get over when it wasn't his idea." Remember Rusev Day? Zack Ryder?

Executives are like this in literally every industry, the only thing they hate more than a pet project tanking is someone getting successful that they can't claim credit for.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2022 04:06

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Sydney Bottocks posted:

In the case of WWE, though, you have to add in that Vince has the attention span of a gnat and so even if someone gets successful doing things exactly the way he wanted them to, at some point he will get bored and forget about them (if they're lucky) or will decide to revamp their gimmick (if they're unlucky).

They all do this too.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2022 04:34

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

The wrestling may be fake, but the drama is real.

Also lol that Kane steals Doctor Doom's bit.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2022 09:59

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

WWE sounds like bad anime filler where every actual fight is padded out to hell with characters redundantly talking at each other for half the episode, except with even more community theatre level acting. And I'm guessing like comic books it's incomprehensible unless you're familiar with decades of continuity that it nevertheless also contradicts.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2022 04:21

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Cornwind Evil posted:

Probably way overthinking it. The skit is also an example of how Vince was willing to play the absolute fool if he felt like it. Which is more than I can say for virtually all other psychopath businessmen.

Feels like this is kinda where despite all his craziness, it's clear Vince is a born showman; he enjoys the spotlight even if people are laughing at him.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2022 09:22

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

A lot makes sense when you realise shonen anime and pro wrestling operate under exactly the same rules.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2022 14:09

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I did hear fun things about Chikara but then it apparently exploded with #MeToo.

Also, the Scooby-Doo WWE crossovers are lol

# ¿ Feb 11, 2022 16:09

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Elephant Ambush posted:

Anyone who is interested in Chikara should just go watch all the King of Trios tournaments and not worry about the lore or backstories or any of that. Just go watch awesome trios matches and have fun.

Didn't that have a trio who are basically the Ginyu Force? Complete with cosplay-accurate costumes?

Cubone posted:

but sure tell me Wrasslor the God of wrestling isn't real, athetits

He is totally real, and appeared on an episode of Dexter's Lab, as a shockingly close homage to a Marvel comics story.

Actually I wouldn't be surprised if the Greeks had a god of wrestling. Possibly Heracles.

Ghost Leviathan fucked around with this message at 08:43 on Feb 12, 2022

# ¿ Feb 12, 2022 08:36

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Trollologist posted:

Ted Turner was a Billionaire with more money than Vince: Where's WCW?

Panda Energy is a billion dollar company with more money than Vince: Where's TNA?

How many Millionaires / Billionaires have burned how much money "competing with WWE" before ultimately losing?

The sad and terrible reality of Wrestling "as a business" is that it's horrifyingly unsustainable and every competitor's market position is essentially: We're like WWE, but better.

The last bit of Wrestling Terminology before my effort post: Money Mark. We learned what a Mark was, someone that the wrestler or promoter is conning with the ruse of wrestling. A Money Mark is someone with a lot of money that wants to be a wrestling promoter, and as a result to get into "the wrestling business" . Once a person is labeled a "Money Mark" Wrestlers will work to take as much of that person's money as they can before the promotion inevitably crumbles.

I feel like this is a very common pattern, especially with anything like showbiz. :capitalism:

# ¿ Feb 13, 2022 02:33

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

American politics is a lot like pro wrestling.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2022 11:50

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Post more of the cats.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2022 10:32

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

GolfHole posted:

easy to talk poo poo on vince all day but at least that man knows when to start doing massive amounts of cocaine and hgh so that he can just become his own talent when needed rather than get horny on ma[i]n

Vince does not strike me as ever not horny on main

I finally realised what I'm trying to articulate: Wrestling appears to be too ridiculous to parody.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2022 10:14

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Gavok posted:

Some context to add to this that was hilarious until it was tragic.

Kevin Sullivan was an aging wrestler who for a while was one of the head bookers in WCW. This is why in the pre-nWo days, Hulk Hogan had a never-ending feud with Sullivan, who looked like if Jason Alexander started hitting the gym, but was supposed to be considered a top heel. At one point, Sullivan was feuding with Chris Benoit and part of the storyline was that Sullivan's wife Nancy was leaving him for Benoit. Kevin Sullivan wanted them to essentially LIVE THE GIMMICK to add a feeling of legitimacy to it. Benoit and Nancy would travel together, have dinner together, share hotel rooms, etc.

So anyway, Nancy Sullivan left her husband for Chris Benoit for real. Kevin Sullivan booked his own divorce.

Once WCW decided that Russo wasn't working out (for the first time), they put Kevin Sullivan back into the head booker position. That was bad news for Benoit, who was finally breaking through to the top of the card. He did not want his career in the hands of his very own cuck victim and was lucky to get out when he did.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I finally realised what I'm trying to articulate: Wrestling appears to be too ridiculous to parody.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2022 15:43

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Trollologist posted:

Well, two that I can think of that WWE for sure banned:

Crippler Crossface (a mentally disturbed man used it to harm and possibly kill a child)

Cattle Mutilation (Not TV friendly)

Has there been a literal alien in the ring? Anal probing? Giving birth?

# ¿ Feb 19, 2022 19:05

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Trollologist posted:

The secret to Pro Wrestling is to know when to have a custody ladder match, when to have Robocop, and when to have a serious wrestling feud with technical wrestling.

Robocop is somehow always the most pleasant surprise in everything.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2022 07:52

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Trollologist posted:

Quick note about The Great Khali:

During his face turn Khali adopted the persona of "The Punjabi Playboy" and weekly they would drag this seven foot tall charisma vacuum out to the ring and have a "Khali kiss cam" where he would smooch a random lady from the crowd. Again, I'm not sure who wanted to see this (Vince) or how it was supposed to get Khali over. Are, are women supposed to find him attractive? No offense to the big man but he looks like someone bashed him in the face with a brick. He has a CONCAVE FACE.

.....ladies.

I'd wager that Vince thought it was funny and Khali went with it because, money. And what else is he going to do? He can't wrestle with out pulling every tendon in his body. He can't cut a promo because English is NOT his first language, and he has the charisma of a full diaper. All he can do is be tall.

But, if you're tall enough, Vince McMahon will put you in the main event. Remember WWF legend Giant Gonzalez? Of course you don't. But he was still on the top of the card at WrestleMania. Because he was tall.

So, you're tall. Vince loves you. Thanks for signing with the WWE. Here's your 3 titles runs and $7million. Good job, bad job, who cares. Just be tall.

I've always wondered if building a strong 4th wall could help win back general audiences and maybe even allow wrestling to be thought of more as an art form.

But everyone I've spoken with that's affiliated with wrestling doesn't want to try, and most wrestle dorks get off on knowing the inside baseball of wrestling, so, you know they don't want it.

Seis la vie I suppose.

I dunno, you turn Khali to the side and I think he might actually literally look like the Chad meme.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2022 08:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Stealth Tiger posted:

Kevin Nash is hilarious. He always had the attitude that you should do as little work and take as few bumps as possible, but he still ended up with a million injuries. He took that advice from Hogan and Hogan ended his in-ring career around the same time as Nash despite starting a whole generation before him.

I just realised this might be why the knight dude in Ultimate Muscle is Kevin Mask.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2022 08:39

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Samoa Joe has been kidnapped by ninjas, are you a bad enough dude to rescue Samoa Joe?

# ¿ Feb 22, 2022 05:11

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Cornwind Evil posted:

We weren't, and that's why he ended up with a dick tattooed on his face.

It simply goes to show that, for all my words on how lovely and terrible WCW management was, and WWF management is, there's more than one way to be totally up your own rear end and end up with nothing but good and bad memories as a result. Or maybe this is just another example of what complete creative control does. Imagine if Quackenbush had had an editor and filter.

Because I get it, I really do. I see these ridiculous things with 20 moving pieces and it presses the autism spectrum buttons in my brain in a pleasing way, the idea that more = better. But here's the thing I try to remember. These sort of things work a LOT better when it's all done and complete and you can go through the whole thing and see all the pieces, especially if others analyze them for you. But when you're getting little dribbles one at a time in between periods of time, hence giving your memory time to fade, it becomes a lot less palatable. And of course, the terrible Vince Russo belief that you can run a wrestling promotion and storyline WITHOUT WRESTLING.

And now I'm just thinking of Disney's Star Wars.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2022 06:56

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

D-Generation X is somehow the most 90s thing and I only very vaguely remember the 90s, let along the wrestling.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2022 12:47

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I suddenly remember that Waluigi in Mario Strikers Charged does their crotch chop, apparently.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2022 13:56

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

vince is currently trying to murder his son-in-law because triple H failed to destroy AEW and so that makes him a failure

I love this Crusader Kings poo poo

# ¿ Feb 24, 2022 05:00

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I would not be surprised if we end up seeing a wrestling event with a double-digit body count.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2022 13:50

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Cornwind Evil posted:

So yes, Roman is, and will continue to be, a story of someone that the fans liked and were behind, but that wasn't enough for Vince, they had to like him and be behind him ON VINCE'S TERMS.

See also: John Cena, who while held up today as a 'legend' and Hall of Famer, and is, I really feel, if we may use Presidents in terms of historical Gallop polls for discerning 'importantness', ended up a John Adams or a Woodrow Wilson when he could have been a Teddy Roosevelt or a FDR.

The funny thing about a lot of wrestling drama is that the way Vince acts really isn't remotely unusual for executives, especially in the entertainment industry- he just makes it easier to see what's going on because subtlety has no place in wrestling. They're all arbitrary, petty, and don't just want to make money but want that money to be personal validation of their whims and desires. See WB suits throwing tantrums over Snyder for the billions of dollars he makes them, Disney throwing things people like in the vault and making hilariously bad live-action remakes no one asked for, everything going on with Activision-Blizzard.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2022 05:42

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Also unfortunately not a problem exclusive to that industry.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2022 06:49

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Given Sesame Street came up before, the Cena comparison suddenly reminds me of complaints that most of Sesame Street is perfectly fine to watch for everyone including the parents who have to put up with it every day, except for the Elmo parts, which feel like they keep growing to the point of taking over the show.

Though given the comparisons of wrestling to comic books, complete with descending into edge in the 90s and never really recovering, Cena strikes me as WWE begrudgingly learning that there actually is a market for wrestling outside of edgelords who are all about blood and yelling and everyone wearing black, and unlike comic books they actually want to make money so they lean into it. While comic books are good at squandering all the popularity they get from the cartoons and movies so the crusty nerds who write them can get back bedgrudgingly introducing and then killing off new characters as they go back to what they really want to write; all the personality-less bland white guys they grew up with.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2022 08:34

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

Triple H stabbed so many people in the back and buried so much talent to get to the top only for Vince to get mad at him over something petty and then tried to murder him with stress induced heart attacks lmao

It's a classic tale.

Really, it's a pattern I've seen a lot of trying to appease a narcissist, only not to realise that narcissists don't have the human sense of gratitude (though they sure as gently caress can carry grudges to the ends of the earth) and while they may see you as useful, they take that for granted and it's easily overridden by their whims. You can work for years to please them and make sure to be the focus of their attention, but then they have a bad day or don't like your tone or the colour of your shirt and suddenly you become their new hobby to destroy any any means possible.

Ghost Leviathan fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Mar 1, 2022

# ¿ Mar 1, 2022 14:55

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I feel like it's a common kinda issue for a lot of industries where the immovable juggernaut of the medium produces mostly garbage but has a near-monopoly that any competition looks good just for the contrast and not being bullshit in all of the same ways.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2022 10:10

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

snoremac posted:

Just wanna say again I'm loving the long reads, they really make the work day go faster, thank you.

Was it Vince who chased someone around with his poo on a stick?

Are you sure that's not a cartoon character?

...are we sure Vince isn't a cartoon character?

# ¿ Mar 4, 2022 10:30

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Like, no one reminds me of Vince more than Judge Doom.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2022 13:49

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Trollologist posted:

He's like cheese pizza. Everyone that's a "pizza fan" will throw up their noses, and complain that this bland dish is beneath them.

But it sells, and tastes great.

Like Taco Bell (and the circle is complete)

I think with Cena, everything he did worked well, but just went on a little longer than it should have, but that's a demographics issue more than anything. While I'm sitting there going "Cena v Orton?! AGAIN?!?"

The kids in the seats, wearing head to toe hustle, loyalty, respect merch are going "Cena v Orton? Again! "

He deserves his place. On the card, in your little Brother's heart, and in the Hall of Fame.

And loving lately, listening to him talk about John Cena the character, from an acting perspective while promoting peacemaker is ten thousand times more interesting than CM Punk's dirty laundry.

It's one of those real funny things where you see such a clash between two very different segments of target audience. Like, I made the Sesame Street comparison before. Or if comic books were actually still read by children. And Vince being like those comic book writers who desperately want edgy antiheroes when if he was half sane he'd be trying to make an entire stable of John Cenas who are basically pantomime heroes.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2022 14:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 22:26

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Trollologist posted:

Lol. Like anyone is going to pry the company from Vince's hands. He'll be 150, and plugged into life support on a golden throne booking the company in 2100.

And it'll still be the same poo poo.

Can definitely see Vince funding the creation of actual Space Marines.

Also the people complaining about Cena never being a troop are missing that the entire ARE TROOPS deal doesn't and never has cared about any actual troops. Soldiers aren't real people to Americans, cartoon characters are.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2022 05:28

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > WWE: Lowtax worked his head into a shoot

«‹›6 »