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Thank you all for your help, this topic is locked. Summary: My friend was a Marine. He died unexpectedly. His family needs help getting his body home to Illinois. You, dear reader, are under no obligation to give or do a drat thing here. I cared about Paul in a 'would give my last drop of blood to save him' way, so all I ask is that you read his name and hear it with your inner monologue. I reached out to McNally ahead of time to approve this; yall run a good crew here and I wouldn't appreciate anyone else farting up the common area. I am making efforts to see the body of my friend, Paul McLean, returned to Illinois so that he can be interred in a national cemetery. Paul served active duty in the Marine Corps from 1996 to 2000. He left as a Lance Corporal* with a blood stripe (* I might have that rank incorrect- he would say that they don't give that stripe out to the rank anymore). Paul spent another eight or so years doing defense contractor work around Camp Pendleton and overseas. I ran into Paul at a super shitshow workplace, where he was already the lone IT guy holding up a rapidly decaying infrastructure. He and I worked together for some time and trauma bonded over the past year or so through the sheer hilarity of it all. It's a real laugh when Company A buys Company B, and then merges all those machines into one domain but never does weird stuff like software inventories, credential management, patch management- well, you get the picture. Last fall, I entered a graduate program and soon after had a seizure. Doctors advised me to reduce stress or face decisions that could not be undone. I made the decision to resign from said business. Paul stayed on and tried to shoulder the weight. Last Thursday he suffered a heart attack while lounging with friends around his pool. He passed away Saturday afternoon. I have been working with his wife / ex-wife / it's complicated and family in Phoenix to assist them in this time. I would prefer to not speak ill of people dealing with such awful circumstances, but suffice it to say that Paul was a hell of a guy who'd financially support everyone he could. As such, what family he has left in Phoenix don't really have the scratch to: 1) Cover medical expenses already incurred in the ICU and CareFlight, 2) Cover expenses at the funeral home where his remains were transferred, 3) Cover expenses to fly his remains to Illinois, or 4) Cover expenses for ceremonies back in Illinois. I'm not going to even breach topic (1) because just loving hell. Did you know medical debt can be inherited? Paul was a regular at the American Legion Post 5 in Phoenix. There is an event this Saturday at 2PM for him there. I don't know much more about this. If you're in the Phoenix area, I encourage you to drop by Saturday if for no other reason than to hear people talk about Paul. As for the Illinois side, my wife has worked as a VSR at the Jessie Brown VA here in Chicago- she's feeding me information to help see that he receives a proper burial once his remains are returned. I've been in contact with the Fred C. Dames funeral home in Joliet, where Paul will be delivered. All cards on the table: this is really hosed situation and I'm learning a litany of things on the fly each time I make another phone call. There's probably better ways to do everything I'm doing. I'm working on it. I am open to all questions. 
nullandvoid fucked around with this message at 01:45 on Jul 6, 2022 |
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Jun 14, 2022 21:36
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I imagine I'm not the only one who just browses their bookmarks and rarely drops into the subforum proper but I just saw this post and wanted to say I'm sorry you had to lose your friend and even more that it's proving to be a financial burden to give him a proper burial. I hope you get some more traction here and on GoFundMe but I also wanted to point you at an article I found on the VA website about applying for a veteran burial allowance. I'm not sure if you're in a position to take advantage of that but it seems like it might be helpful in this situation. I'm not sure what Marines say but light winds and soft landings to Paul, hope you get everything you need to support him and thanks for posting this here.
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Jul 5, 2022 19:51
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Im not an estates guy, but my understanding is that medical debt is not inheritable, but hospitals and providers can go after the deceased estate to settle any outstanding obligations. From a little google searching it seems that the VA will reimburse families for the cost of transportation of a deceased veteran for burial in a national cemetery. So to kind of piggy back on Stanley's post I think having the family reach out to the local VA with a copy of the death certificate and DD-214 would be a good first step to getting this process underway
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Jul 5, 2022 20:23
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Much appreciated to both of y'all for that info. After a lot of work we were able to finally convey the information his family needed in order to get him on a flight back home. We got them in contact with the Jim Wilson desk and he was soon put on a plane back to Illinois. He was buried June 30th at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. Locking thread because this has run its course.
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Jul 6, 2022 01:43
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