|
If Pixar set out to make a movie more pointless than Planes, it succeeded. I thought it was impossible for a movie to matter less than the Warcraft movie but here we are. Lightyear may be the single least important cultural event of the 21st century. The movie is so mediocre it's infuriating. The movie starts off by framing itself as the movie the Buzz Lightyear toy from Toy Story was based on, including explicitly stating that the movie came out in 1995. The movie then proceeds to be nothing like anything that was or could have been released in 1995. You want to know what would have been a good movie to make? A Pixar movie that tried to replicate with CGI what a sci-fi movie that came out in the 90's might have looked like. That would have been an interesting, even daring film concept. That would have been an artistic undertaking worthy of Pixar. This movie doesn't even attempt to place itself in the future of the 90s. Okay, whatever, at least it's a good movie, right? No. It's boring, safe, textureless schlock. Even the much-touted "controversial" same sex kiss was just a tepid, barely-there lesbian relationship that the movie swept past before it could even register. You want to know what would have been a controversial same sex kiss? Fuckin' make Buzz gay. Have Buzz kiss a man on the lips and call him "sweetie" before going off on his mission. That would have been controversial. Maybe I'm too hung up on what might have been, but this movie couldn't even hold my kids' attention and they'll watch anything with spaceships in it. The movie wasn't even a passable pastiche of science fiction tropes. There were some Star Wars sound effects and the opening riffs on Alien for about 5 seconds but not enough of anything anywhere to even get a good nostalgia going. I'd get into nitpicking the nonsensical plot (where was the rest of the human race during this 100 year interval? If the team goes to the Gamma quadrant won't they run into exactly the same time dilation problem that's been the sticking point the whole movie?) but frankly it doesn't even really matter. I have no idea who this movie is even for. It's too bland even for children, and not nostalgic enough for the adults that would have been children when the original Toy Story came out. 0/10 stars. Go rewatch Turning Red instead. poo poo, go watch Planes for the first time instead.
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:00
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:41 |
|
|
kntfkr posted:why do you watch these movies applewhite Well in this case because I still have my brother's borrowed Disney+ account so it was free and I wanted to see the same sex kiss everyone was raving about.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:05
|
|
|
The Bloop posted:I bet no one expected them to (this is definely a real and MAJOR spoiler, I'm not kidding) make buzz the villian and kill him My wife points out that it's the exact same plot twist as The Lego Movie 2 but not as poignant or even as well-executed.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:06
|
|
|
Sox is worthy of a better film for sure. I liked Sox, he was the highlight of the movie, but that's such a low bar to clear.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:09
|
|
|
Lightyear is in the running for out-blanding Raya and the Last Dragon, a movie so utterly pointless and forgettable that my Blu-ray copy (long story short, it was a gift, not my idea) spontaneously stopped existing. Like literally, the disc was on the shelf, and I paid so little thought to it that it actually lost object permanence and is no longer there or anywhere in my home as far as I can tell. I only discovered this because my brother asked to borrow it.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:13
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:Disney/Pixar love putting bullshit villain reveals in their movies, and they're always worse off for them. In Frozen it was the goofy dad of the ginger guy, in Wreck it Ralph it was the mayor, in Zootopia it was the sheep lady. HIGHLY object to counting Encanto among their "best" movies or even their "satisfactory" ones but otherwise agree.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:15
|
|
|
Jelly posted:I tried so hard to get into this film and could not. I agree with you OP. I guess I probably shouldn't watch G films unless they're properly vetted, but I expected better from PIXAR. "I expected better from Pixar" should have been the movie's tagline. Put that poo poo on the poster lol.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:15
|
|
|
kntfkr posted:why do you watch these movies applewhite So I can make these threads tbh.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:19
|
|
|
The Bloop posted:This doesn't mean any of your criticisms are invalid, op. Just that it's ok for movies to not be great and still be fun imo If the movie were "fun" I would be willing to forgive a lot. Lightyear isn't "fun." It isn't anything.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:53
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:Something bothered you about Encanto? In my opinion it's their #1. I thought the music was bad and the plot needlessly overworked with a second act that completely derails the film.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 03:56
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:The music thing is subjective so it's probably not worth getting into it, but I think the vast majority of other humans disagree with you on that one. Turning Red.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:05
|
|
|
If anyone wants to see a more worthwhile adaptation of Buzz Lightear's adventures, go find a way to watch the criminally underrated Buzz Lightyear of Star Command animated tv series.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:06
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:The music thing is subjective so it's probably not worth getting into it, but I think the vast majority of other humans disagree with you on that one. The Incredibles, Wall-E, Finding Nemo, Ratatouille
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:09
|
|
|
Also I didn't say Encanto (which is not, in fact a Pixar production) dragged in the second half, I said the second act (of three) completely derailed the plot with a pointless adventure into a sandcave to recover a macguffin that didn't actually move the plot forward in any way.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:11
|
|
|
Devils Affricate posted:Oh, yeah that section was useless. Misunderstood what you meant I guess. The whole movie is a disjointed morass of frayed plotlines that end just as they might have become interesting, a Lin Manuel Miranda song incarnate. Anyway I'm not going to re-litigate Encanto. The movie isn't completely without its good points, but taken as a whole, I consider it a failure, both musically and narratively. I think if the Latino community is looking for representation in modern family animation, they're much better off pinning their hopes on Jorge R. Gutierrez.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:29
|
|
|
Jelly posted:I liked Raya Just watch the supercut of the dragon bits and you've enjoyed everything the film has to offer, IMO.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:50
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtyhCX7bHaA here I just saved anyone who was thinking of watching Raya 87 minutes.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 04:52
|
|
|
Edgar posted:I got frustrated with the FTL portion that created the two Buzz lightyears, they didn't explain how that happened. Just, here you go, FTL created two time lines? Would it created multiple other timelines? I wish they spent some more energy on expanding on that. I was already so frustrated by that point I just yelled out "sure, why the hell not?" The movie already completely shits the bed on how time dilation works. Unless the planet's sun is four lightyears away from the planet, four years would not have elapsed on the planet to an object traveling at relativistic speeds. It takes light roughly 11 minutes to travel from the sun to the earth. Assuming the alien planet from the movie is roughly the same distance, then a ship traveling at ".7c" would complete a round trip in 37.2 minutes. Worst case scenario, 37.2 minutes will have passed on the planet and no time will have passed to Lightyear.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 05:04
|
|
|
And that's ALREADY accepting that in the movie's setting, there's an FTL "hyperdrive" that is still subject to relativity despite the fact that the whole point of FTL drives is to get around relativity and its consequences.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 05:07
|
|
|
Lawrence Gilchrist posted:Did you see the Bob's Burgers movie Applewhite? I haven't yet but I want to.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 05:10
|
|
|
Not even Patrick Warburton.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 05:24
|
|
|
jazzyhattrick posted:I wonder what Jim Halpert would think of this film. lol. I posted his take before I posted mine.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 12:54
|
|
|
I agree Disney's treatment of the Empire is problematic but not for the reasons Yaldabaoth says. I don't think the Empire is meant to be "woke" but rather I think the portrayal is meant to be more ambiguous. Less of a moral struggle between good and evil and more a "there's good people on both sides" portrayal, which in its own way is more insidious, IMO.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 16:39
|
|
|
Yeah Coco was really good.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 17:30
|
|
|
The Bloop posted:What good people are on that side? The ones who realize it's poo poo and defect or help the jedi/resistance? The clones? If you can get the Empire out of Hitler territory and into Erwin Rommel territory, it's possible to romanticize the tragic futility of a fascist with "noble ideals." An uncareful person could find themselves admiring Captain Phasma's determination, or sympathizing with Orson Krennic for getting cheated out of credit for the Death Star. There's definitely a certain personality type that falls prey to that kind of thinking and I think you'd be disingenuous to deny there's a lot of people who unironically say things like "sure the empire does some questionable things, but they're just trying to bring order to a chaotic galaxy." Applewhite fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Aug 10, 2022 |
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 19:03
|
|
|
Disney literally encourages guests at their ridiculous Star Wars hotel to participate in plotlines on either the Empire's side or the Rebel side. I don't think I'm way off base with my assessment.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2022 19:16
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:41 |
|
|
The Wicked ZOGA posted:I still need to watch the motherfucking animated SPiderman at some point Yeah it's really excellent.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 11, 2022 02:25
|
|