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Nov 11, 2022 12:34
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Supposedly Jewish people aren’t allowed to rip toilet paper on the sabbath for some reason lol So I guess a lot of them are walking around with lovely buttholes hahaha
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Nov 11, 2022 12:38
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Toxic Mental posted:Supposedly Jewish people aren’t allowed to rip toilet paper on the sabbath for some reason lol Wiping rear end is too much work for a day off. I only wipe mine on company time(currently unemployed)
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Nov 11, 2022 13:00
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He was just loving with you guys, and it was hilarious
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Nov 11, 2022 13:36
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Colonel Cancer posted:That depends on the rabbi's caster level, I think yeah, 1 day per level
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Nov 11, 2022 14:52
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You really think so?
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Nov 11, 2022 15:00
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ChubbyChecker posted:yeah, 1 day per level rabbis can cheese their caster level through a torah exploit that hasn't been patched yet. If they perform a blessing on themself then quickly cycle their prayer boxes, they can actually get the blessings to stack. Since the level cap doesn't apply to buffs and they have their buffs getting buffed it can get out of control pretty quickly.
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Nov 11, 2022 15:05
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I believe that conveys a +1 to stealth and a 50% chance of infravision
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Nov 11, 2022 15:30
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Oh poo poo hit me up if you know the secret incantations I can use to summon a flesh golem 
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Nov 11, 2022 16:40
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Are bidets kosher?
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Nov 11, 2022 17:00
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Can I use a bidet on the sabbath
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Nov 11, 2022 17:14
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No idea about bidets and poo poo like that, but we had to keep the elevators constantly running so that they stopped at every floor bc you can’t press any buttons on the sabbath
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Nov 11, 2022 17:17
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Jillian poo poo posted:Oh poo poo hit me up if you know the secret incantations I can use to summon a flesh golem You mean a baby? I have no idea. Nobody will tell me.
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Nov 11, 2022 17:21
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Colonel Cancer posted:Are bidets kosher? i stopped washing and wiping my rear end to not offend god and my harvests have never been better
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Nov 11, 2022 17:26
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You're not jew, OP, just jewish
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Nov 11, 2022 17:40
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OP, have you figured out how to rules lawyer the light switches yet?
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Nov 11, 2022 18:28
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Op you should try and grab a skeleton archer and see if it crumbles into dust. If so, the holy blessing is still going strong!
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Nov 11, 2022 18:30
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A rabbi round here got done for using a cigar cutter to do the old snip snaps and anyway turns out he wasn't actually a rabbi and a "subway bris" isnt a real thing. Long story short I had to get surgery.
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Nov 11, 2022 18:33
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Drone_Fragger posted:A rabbi round here got done for using a cigar cutter to do the old snip snaps and anyway turns out he wasn't actually a rabbi and a "subway bris" isnt a real thing. Long story short I had to get surgery. the new york rabbinical council does not have the authority it thinks it does and i said many times that was an accident.
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Nov 11, 2022 18:36
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have you talked to Kanye about this?
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Nov 11, 2022 18:44
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Jillian poo poo posted:Oh poo poo hit me up if you know the secret incantations I can use to summon a flesh golem A Golem is never made of such unholy matter as corpses, you filthy heathen. I bet you don't even feel that you're a disappointment to uncountable generations that suffered through a LOT to get you where you are today! Go home and have a good goy.
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Nov 11, 2022 18:54
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By popular demand posted:A Golem is never made of such unholy matter as corpses, you filthy heathen. Oy vey!
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Nov 11, 2022 20:08
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This thread has me reading about kosher law and kitchens. It’s pretty interesting and at the same time eating seems like it can get really complicated.
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Nov 11, 2022 20:25
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Sophy Wackles posted:This thread has me reading about kosher law and kitchens. It’s pretty interesting and at the same time eating seems like it can get really complicated. LG has 2000 dollar refrigerators with sabbath mode lol
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Nov 11, 2022 20:27
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Sophy Wackles posted:This thread has me reading about kosher law and kitchens. It’s pretty interesting and at the same time eating seems like it can get really complicated. It was pretty wild fo sho. Two entirely separate kitchens, staff, dish pits, cutlery, plates, everything. Nothing on the one side could ever, ever, ever come in contact with the other. I wondered about how they squared all the chewed up food mixing in their stomachs, but y’know. One of the servers accidentally tossed a pair of meat tongs in the milk dish pit and the rabbi went absolutely eyes-bugging-out insane. Had to re-bless every piece of cutlery in the place. I somehow remained temporarily jewish.
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Nov 11, 2022 22:08
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I'd say OP wants to be Jewish just for the jokes, but that seems to apply way more to other posters ITT. OP, I have to say that you seem about as Jewish as the loving Pope. Hey, it's better to admit you're goy than to live a lie.
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Nov 11, 2022 22:27
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:rabbis can cheese their caster level through a torah exploit that hasn't been patched yet. If they perform a blessing on themself then quickly cycle their prayer boxes, they can actually get the blessings to stack. Since the level cap doesn't apply to buffs and they have their buffs getting buffed it can get out of control pretty quickly. Pretty much all of the sabbath is orthodox jews haggling with the DM about rule lawyer loop holes like taping the refrigerator door latch open doesn't count as opening or closing the fridge RAW.
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Nov 13, 2022 01:32
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Religion sounds an awful lot like a couple of ten year olds playing a game where they're both making up the rules as they go along. "If that guy touches the thing and you eat it you go to hell!". "Nuh-uh I made him Jewish!". "You can't do that it's cheating!" "I also have space lasers now." "That's bullcrap I'm not playing anymore!" Nuts and Gum posted:LG has 2000 dollar refrigerators with sabbath mode lol Hopefully it doesn't play any of that Dio era poo poo.
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Nov 13, 2022 23:30
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This story doesnt sound kosher to me. They prolly just made you shabbos goy.
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Nov 14, 2022 02:04
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bruvs be4 luvs
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OP, I heard that if you let a mohel use you for practice, you're made an honorary Jew.
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Nov 14, 2022 08:31
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Who said that? That is no mohel! That's just the dangerous man who escaped from an institution last year! He switched from impersonating a surgeon, probably too many checks to go through. Don't let the beard fool you!
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Nov 14, 2022 08:47
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isaboo posted:have you talked to Kanye about this? if kanye sics his goons on you, you're definitely jewish
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Nov 14, 2022 08:49
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Kanye: I'm not anti-Semitic but... *Unfolds enormous hit list of Jews in the media circuit*
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Nov 14, 2022 20:06
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So you abandoned Christ to touch meat and milk at a job site? He died for your sins at a cross ffs
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Nov 14, 2022 21:24
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If Jesus wanted to hang so much he could have gotten off the cross and come with, you know?
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Nov 14, 2022 21:49
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i think you should ask kyrie about it OP
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Nov 14, 2022 21:55
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GABA ghoul posted:So you abandoned Christ to touch meat and milk at a job site? He died for your sins at a cross ffs The New Testament is fanfic.
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Nov 14, 2022 22:15
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I was working at a hotel somewhere in europe, and an american jew was staying there who told me it was the sabbath, so he and his family couldn't use technology. But for some reason it was ok if some non-jew went into the elevator with them, pushed the button and let them ride up to their floor and then used the keycard to open the door to their room. Smart! Guess I'll be the one to burn in whatever now, which I probably was supposed to anyway.
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Nov 14, 2022 22:22
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God hates elevators. It's really simple. I had a priest say "bless you" once so now I'm forced to be Catholic, kind of bullshit I didn't get a say tbh
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Nov 14, 2022 23:09
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In this moment, I am euphoric, because I used an elevator over the weekend, and thought nothing of it.
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Nov 14, 2022 23:51
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