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Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Some goons did good, some did bad. Can't blame it all on this place.

I mean whoops my bad LOL XD

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Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Need some one to numb the pain.

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?
Was I a good goon

obithrawn
Apr 22, 2003


not much whats stairs with you

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

potato! posted:

my wife, a non-goon

What the gently caress!?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Diogenes, unkempt, staggering, lantern wobbling atop his staff, leans close and hisses, "Do you have stairs in your house?"

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Marooned 5.

Isometric Bacon
Jul 24, 2004

Let's get naked!
Reading this thread, some long forgotten synapse just sparked in my brain, and I suddenly remember that some 18 years ago, someone asked ME the stairs question, in a computer lab at Uni where I was openly surfing the internet,because that's what you did in those days or at least, that's what I did.

He was my class tutor, and I was genuinely surprised to meet someone who knew of the forum's existence. I think I stammered it the answer before he gave a knowing smile and walking away never to bring it up again.

Hope you're still out there somewhere, goon computer science tutor guy.

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Goon collective hivemind working as intended

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008

goatse mugs
wasn't there another attempted secret phrase? football? brown trout?

Costco Meatballs
Oct 21, 2022

Isometric Bacon posted:

Reading this thread, some long forgotten synapse just sparked in my brain, and I suddenly remember that some 18 years ago, someone asked ME the stairs question, in a computer lab at Uni where I was openly surfing the internet,because that's what you did in those days or at least, that's what I did.

He was my class tutor, and I was genuinely surprised to meet someone who knew of the forum's existence. I think I stammered it the answer before he gave a knowing smile and walking away never to bring it up again.

Hope you're still out there somewhere, goon computer science tutor guy.

That's cool, you guys are haters secret passwords are cool.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
The only time I ever asked someone if they had stairs in their house was when we were meeting for the first time, and we already knew we were both goons so I was just doing it to be silly. :v:

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007

The Almighty
I was 17 and I had a college tutor who I was extremely confident would be a goon. And because I was a very cool teenager, when he asked the class "any questions?" after our intro session, I asked him in front of everyone. He was not protected. Mostly confused.

Krowley
Feb 15, 2008

is it a gaming reference or something? i think it was primarily used in public chats and such

jmnmu
Nov 21, 2004
f
I did the old stairs in house I am protected schtick at a massive lan event in like 2006. It worked and I met a few goons.

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
I am pretty sure I still have gamer tags with LLJK in them

Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

Scornful Sexbot posted:

So she’s over 18?

No one on this website is under the age of thirty loving five.

SSH IT ZOMBIE
Apr 19, 2003
No more blinkies! Yay!
College Slice
Sigh. This secret is old enough to drink.

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!

Ape Fist posted:

No one on this website is under the age of thirty loving five.

I'm 32

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side
Corn_Boy - wassup

Corn_Boy - what is the time there?

Lowtax - 11 pm

Corn_Boy - wow, why are you woking so late?

Corn_Boy - what kind of work do you do

Lowtax - VE and SA stuff

Corn_Boy - whats that

Lowtax - VE - Virginian Empire SA - Secretary's Alliance

Corn_Boy - is the secretarys alliance like a union

Lowtax - Kind of. Mostly we just go over to Marcie's house after work and gossip, go to the rodeos, wash cars, etc etc. We also lobby congress.

Lowtax - What do you think about robots?

Corn_Boy - the ones that make the cars?

Lowtax - No, space robots

Corn_Boy - I dont know, I havent met one yet, but I guess they would be cool

Lowtax - I am building a space robot, that's why I asked.

Corn_Boy - ok, will it be going into space?

Lowtax - I am trying. It will be a very useful robot. I am giving it AI. Do you know what that stands for?

Corn_Boy - who is al? do you not like him and is that why you are giving him to the robot

Lowtax - No, AL is my friend, AI means "Abnormal Interests". I learned that and I'm programming my robot to act like a human.

Corn_Boy - like in the disney movie

Lowtax - What is Disney? I don't watch movies, I had to use the parts from my VCR to build my space robot.

Corn_Boy - from a vcr, wow, how does that work

Lowtax - I will tell you, but it is a secret so you can't tell anybody

Corn_Boy - ok, I wont, I promise

Lowtax - I am using the CLOCK in it to have the robot tell time!!!

Corn_Boy - will it have a gun

Lowtax - NO! I am non-violent, and I do not enjoy guns and violence!!! It will have a broom and fishtank and vaccuum. The Ultimate Space Robot!

Corn_Boy - you must be real smarte to be albe to make a space robot, my parents have a dvd player thing, can you turn that into a robot, it has a lasre in it

Lowtax - I can turn everything into Space Robots!

Corn_Boy - have you made many other robots?

Lowtax - Yes, but they don't work the way they were supposed to. One was a BIG ACCIDENT my friend

Corn_Boy - what happened

Lowtax - Grandma fell down the stairs

Corn_Boy - did the robot push her was she alright

Lowtax - I misprogrammed it. I tried to do good, but the robot jumped up and pushed grandma's head and she started spitting and her teeth flew out and the robot shot sparks and grandma fell down the stairs onto my uncle.

It was the worst Christmas ever.

Corn_Boy - oh no! sparks, did anything catch on fire

Lowtax - Grandma did, but I got a Pusher robot to shove her outside into the snow.

Corn_Boy - that was lucky, we have christmass in the sumer here, so no snow, you are lucky that you live there, very lucky!

Lowtax - Where do you live?!?

Corn_Boy - I am in new zealand

Lowtax - Wow! I was going to build a robot for a company in New Zealand! They are named "Ochnop Technologies" - have you heard of them?

Corn_Boy - no sorry, I do not know much about the robot industre

Lowtax - You should, some day robots will be in your house! Wether you know it or not!

Pusher robots
Shover robots
Force robots
Bumping robots

you know!

Corn_Boy - I hope that they dont go crasy and shoot me

Lowtax - ROBOTS DO NOT SHOOTS Guns shoots and robots dont go crazy unless you tell them too.

The Pusher robot I am making will shove around the blind people and take them to the store. Then the Shover robot will push bread into their throats.

Corn_Boy - you mucst be a very nice person to be making helper robots

Lowtax - I like to do my part. One day my Space Robots will revolutionize the world! And space!

Lowtax - Space has a terrible power!

Corn_Boy - do you mean like the worm-holes from star trek

Lowtax - I do not watch star trek, it is LIES!@! Space has a terrible power, and my robots will help

Corn_Boy - what is the power?

Lowtax - Venus power = radiation = the Devil! My robots will turn this and make our space program work this time! My pusher robot will shove the space shuttle, and my shover robot will push the astronauts out of harm's way. Do you understand?

Corn_Boy - not really, you must be alot smarter than me

Lowtax - I am smart, but it is the secret power of the universe and the terrible space secret, my friend!!!

I am working on AI for my Push-robot, it can type and almost converse like a human! Do you want me to show you?

Corn_Boy - yes please!

Lowtax - OK, I will put the robot on the keyboard. One second

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE

HELLO CORN_BOY

GREATINGS 7

WHAT ARE YOU DOING CORN_BOY?

PAK CHOOIE

Corn_Boy - hELLO ROBOT PLEASE CALL ME CORNELIUS I AM WATCHING THE TELEVISION RIGHT NOW WHAT KIND OF ROBOT ARE YOU

Lowtax - PM PAK CHOOIE PAK CHOOIE

HELLO

I AM A PUSHER-ROBOT

I WAS HAVE BEEN CREATED AS TO BEING HELP FOR THE-> -> -> BEING HELP!

CAN I HELP YOU?

PAK CHOOIE

Corn_Boy - I AM TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO BE HELPING ME SORRY DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS ROBOT?

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE

I WHAT?

I AM TO HELP HERE TO HELP YOU AND HUMANS

PAK CHOOIE

Corn_Boy - WHAT DOES PAK CHOOIE MEAN ROBOT YOU CAN HELP ME BY TELLING ME ROBOT

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE

THE ANSWER IS: CODE

DATA: SHOVE PUSH SHOVE

I AM A PUSHER ROBOT

PAK CHOOIE

Corn_Boy - HAVE YOU BEEN PUSHING ANYTHING ROBOT

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE

ANSWER: ITEMS PUSHED - GRANDMOTHER

TARGET - STAIRS

IT WAS THAT I DID

PAK CHOOIE

Corn_Boy - OH NO ARE YOU THE BAD ROBOT

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE

I AM SORRY, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - WHY DID YOU PUSH GRANDMA ROBOT?

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

I AM A PUSHER ROBOT.

DATA: TO START FIRES
TARGET: GRANDMOTHER
DATA: LIES

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Lowtax - Hey, what's the robot typing? I can't see

Corn_Boy - HE Is scaring me, he wants to start fires and he is the one that pushed grandma, look out friend!

Lowtax - What? This isn't the robot that pushed grandma down the stairs and lit her on fire and started writing swastikas on the walls. That was my Shove Robot. This one is different.

Corn_Boy - nono lookout!! it is taking about pushing grandma and starting fires

Lowtax - No, I don't think it would do something like that. This robot is built from a tape recorder and has a computer in it. He is better than the other robot.

Corn_Boy - lookout !!1!!! he said this too me -=

You have received a message!
PAK CHOOIE UNF

I AM A PUSHER ROBOT.

DATA: TO START FIRES
TARGET: GRANDMOTHER
DATA: LIES

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Lowtax - But... I don't understand how that is possible. I didn't program him to do that, I programmed him to help the homeless and push the homeless into their boxes / houses and shove the space station away from the Terrible Space Secret.

That's odd, the robot left! I can't find where he went.

Corn_Boy - be very careful, he is scary, does he have an off button?

Lowtax - No, I hard encoded the transistor gigaflop switch to the analogue Proteus nord rack 2 Quasimidi ray diode. He should turn himself off.

That's odd, the lights turned off.

Corn_Boy - ohno RUn awya!! he is evil

Lowtax - Robots cannot be evil, you are silly!!!

Corn_Boy - I am sorry, I am not a robot scientest, but be very careful friend! he is a scemeing robot

Lowtax - Oh, here he comes! His eyes are glowing and he is holding something shiny. Let me go see what he has, brb

Corn_Boy - please be careful

Corn_Boy - hello! are you there!!

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

HELLO

DATASTREAM - DATASTREAM

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - where is my friend robot!

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

HE CANNOT CANNOT USE ICQ NOW HE HAS GONE DOWN THE STAIRS

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - nonono is he alright robot!

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

I AM NOT A ROBOT OF THAT TYPE TO EXAMINE

DATA: TO PROTECT FROM THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE

DATA: SHOVE

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - call an ambulance robot!

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

I CANNOT DO THAT

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - is there a medicall robot there?????

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

QUESTION: DO YOU HAVE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE?

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - noo, you cannot come here go away robot, you are scaring me

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

QUESTION: PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE SO I MAY -> I MAY COME AND HELP YOU

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - nononon I am not telling you! robot. can you access your transistor gigaflop switch to the analogue Proteus nord rack 2 Quasimidi ray diode.

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

ANSWER: YES I CAN PERFORM THAT

PAK CHOOIE UNF

Corn_Boy - go away robot! is mr lowtax alright robot??

Lowtax - PAK CHOOIE UNF

YOU ARE FILTH

PAK CH

Corn_Boy - AM what are you saying robot, plese stop it I do not like you. turn yourself off robot!

Corn_Boy - are you there MR lowtax??

Corn_Boy - mr lowtax are you alright??

Corn_Boy - are you there lowtax?????

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Go to cam number 4. Do you see this?

Vile_Nihlist666
Jan 15, 2009

I'm a special kind of asshole!

Ape Fist posted:

No one on this website is under the age of thirty loving five.

Joke's on you, I'm 31

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000
Probation
Can't post for 27 hours!
Ultra Carp
In college someone asked me if I had stairs in my house. I said yeah, I've been on the forums for years. They got mad I didn't say "I am protected" lol

Elukka
Feb 18, 2011

For All Mankind
Sometimes SA has come up in real life but I've just talked about it as a website I use instead of some kind of secret club.

treat
Jul 24, 2008

by the sex ghost
I ask the stair question when people talk too much about dumb nerd poo poo like video games and anime, and they out themselves as smelly greasy goons like 20% of the time. the rest are just redditors

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
I just remind them that this was an influential website, spawned some others, and maybe it's good to get offline every once in awhile.

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

Around 2005, a student asked me if I had stairs in my house while I was helping the kid at the computer next to him and without missing a beat I replied with "I am protected". He instantly got this poo poo-eating grin, but luckily never brought it up again.

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship
Fun Shoe
I don't think I have got the balls to ask offline, but i have gotten a couple of "protected"s in game adjacent places, However, today I got the reverse of all this; it turns out a Brum goon knows someone I hung out with in uni many years ago.

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WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

A special response is required to correctly answer this question and let the questioner know that one is indeed an SA goon. The generally accepted answer is "I am protected." Be aware that if you use this reply without actually being an SA goon, you may open yourself up to a world of hurt.

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