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When I was like 3-4 years old I pooped in an indoor community swimming pool and everyone had to leave. For some reason all the parents in attendance blamed it on a fat kid and I said nothing
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Jan 23, 2023 11:32
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Duct Tape Engineer posted:Well, this is news to me but ok, I'm down for it. It's a secret
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Jan 23, 2023 12:12
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I sometimes get Slugworth and Smugworth confused
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Jan 23, 2023 12:27
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Slugworth posted:My buddy used to be addicted to heroin (I mean, he might still be, I haven't seen him in years), but what he did was, he always had latex gloves with him so that when he took his weekly rock hard massive poo poo, he could break it into pieces and flush it safely. Did he fish them out of the bowl or was he the type of guy to intercept them in transit?
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Jan 23, 2023 12:52
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one time I pooped myself
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Jan 23, 2023 12:57
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pencilhands posted:I’m an opiate addict and also very fat, so I tend to take massive, rock hard shits. After clogging my own toilet one too many times I started exclusively making GBS threads in public toilets, usually clogging them as well. Some of my usual haunts have put out signs asking for the serial jumbo shitter to please stop using their toilets as it costs them lots of money to have to keep calling plumbers to fix them. I feel so guilty. Try this: Partway through each poo poo session, stand up and flush. Then resume pooping.
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Jan 23, 2023 13:37
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They'll need a sphincter like a cigar cutter if the beasts are rock hard
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Jan 23, 2023 14:08
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I have no secrets, the embarrassment is obvious.
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Jan 23, 2023 14:26
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Blood came out of my pee hole for the first time EVER today.
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Jan 24, 2023 07:43
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I don’t wipe my rear end after I poo poo lol 🙈🙈🙈
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Jan 24, 2023 07:50
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I actually kind of enjoy Wizard Master threads.
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Jan 24, 2023 07:56
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I mostly stay here out of a lack of anywhere else to go
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Jan 24, 2023 08:34
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I don't have any secrets because I'm boring as poo poo.
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Jan 24, 2023 15:28
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I'm wanted by Interpol for extreme truancy
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Jan 24, 2023 15:45
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The first girl I made out with my freshman year of college was all topless and rarin to go and I told her I was waiting to have sex until I was married. I still remember the way she giggled at me for that.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:17
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Extra row of tits posted:I keep track of how many of my patients die and actively watch the ones nearing end of life so I can add them to my “score” I just hit 4 for the year!
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Jan 25, 2023 00:33
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but it's only january 
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Jan 25, 2023 00:34
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here's where Extra row of tits reveals they work in the "only a head is left" cryogenics facility
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Jan 25, 2023 00:34
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:here's where Extra row of tits reveals they work in the "only a head is left" cryogenics facility Don't be silly. I'm pretty sure they're a dentist.
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Jan 25, 2023 00:37
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I'm straight
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Jan 25, 2023 00:41
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Extra row of detached heads
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Jan 25, 2023 00:41
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Seven testicles
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Jan 25, 2023 00:51
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I have no idea why, but I get insanely horny on trains. Uncomfortably so. To the point where any train ride longer than ~30 mins I end up rubbing one out in the bathroom. I'm always super self-conscious doing it, too.
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Jan 25, 2023 00:52
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Dystopia Barbarian posted:I have no idea why, but I get insanely horny on trains. Uncomfortably so. To the point where any train ride longer than ~30 mins I end up rubbing one out in the bathroom. I'm always super self-conscious doing it, too. 
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Jan 25, 2023 01:00
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lmao
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Jan 25, 2023 01:03
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Dystopia Barbarian posted:I have no idea why, but I get insanely horny on trains. Uncomfortably so. To the point where any train ride longer than ~30 mins I end up rubbing one out in the bathroom. I'm always super self-conscious doing it, too. Have you tried just jerking off in your seat? It would feel less weird than doing it on a dirty train toilet, and if you do it enough eventually some homeless person will probably want a taste.
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Jan 25, 2023 01:10
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Dystopia Barbarian posted:I have no idea why, but I get insanely horny on trains. Uncomfortably so. To the point where any train ride longer than ~30 mins I end up rubbing one out in the bathroom. I'm always super self-conscious doing it, too. get yourself a train slut, then you can both be workin' on the railroad ALL the live long day.
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Jan 25, 2023 01:13
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Lol
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Jan 25, 2023 01:14
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I’m pretty sure it’s legal to openly masturbate on trains and buses
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Jan 25, 2023 01:15
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Linux Pirate posted:get yourself a train slut, then you can both be workin' on the railroad ALL the live long day.  I will have to work on this goal.
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Jan 25, 2023 01:15
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Dystopia Barbarian posted:
I’m sure you can find a train buddy to help you out while you’re strummin’ on the ole banjo
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Jan 25, 2023 01:43
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I've mentioned this, and it's not super embarrassing until it happens... but i can't burp, naturally. I have to gag myself to make me dry heave, and that normally releases the gases. I only have done it around close family. I'm pretty decent at making it sound like a sneeze. I'm fairly sure I have R-CPD. Basically, my esophageal flap is too stiff. https://svas.com.au/r-cpd/ I have most of the symptoms, but the fix seems to be injecting Botox into my little flap. I haven't pursued that just yet.
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Jan 25, 2023 02:10
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Raere posted:I'm gay This is only embarrassing if everyone already knows and you know that they know and they know that you know that they know. The good news is you never have to "come out," you can just pretend you've been open for years now and you thought everyone already knew? 
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Jan 25, 2023 02:22
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Once when I was insanely drunk in a country I'd never been to before, while I was riding a bus, I had to pee so bad that I asked the driver to pull over so I could pee in the street & get back on. The driver did it, but still. I haven't been back to that country since. edit: blight rhino posted:I've mentioned this, and it's not super embarrassing until it happens... Oh wow.  I hope Botox helps -- burping feels pretty great!edit2: Also, I don't know how not being able to burp is embarrassing, but I guess I wouldn't know since I personally know how to burp. YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Jan 25, 2023 |
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Jan 25, 2023 02:40
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blight rhino posted:I've mentioned this, and it's not super embarrassing until it happens... look at this jerk with their wrinkly flaps! Belching is face farting, and farting feels good. Get the injections!!
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Jan 25, 2023 02:43
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blight rhino posted:I've mentioned this, and it's not super embarrassing until it happens... Hello there, friend. I essentially don’t burp and cannot make myself burp. That’s usually why I can’t keep drinking beer all night. I just get full. I fart constantly though.
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Jan 25, 2023 03:21
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suckin dick op
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Jan 25, 2023 03:32
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i've sold fake drugs so I could get money to buy real drugs
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Jan 25, 2023 03:36
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I'm a prolific cheater. I cheat constantly and regret it it's just not something I can do without. The feeling of victory I get and the utter secrecy of it. Especially when it's right under the nose of others. Like taking an extra hundred in monopoly every once in a while is just so good especially when it's a high sweat game and everyone wants to win and spend 3 hours to do so. Not getting caught ohh yesss. Especially when everyone starts making small talk and not looking at the board. Just to remove a house off the board and cause someone else to start freaking out about the missing piece while everyone too high to remember whether it was there or not claim it was never there (as it's in their mutual interest) causing more havoc before the game eventually ends in torment or my utter victory. I cheat at go fish. Always have. My grandmother taught me that one by never ever letting me win go fish even as a very young child. Ohhh yesss WAR CRIME GIGOLO fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Jan 25, 2023 |
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Jan 25, 2023 03:39
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 05:06 |
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Soap operas rule
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Jan 25, 2023 03:39
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