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deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


I've been recovering from covid so I got a month of HBO Max because I almost never watch any streaming anything, and today I watched all 3 John Wick movies back to back. What's up with this?

1) Okay it first becomes apparent when John Wick is going to kill the villain's son in a... bath-house nightclub (?) in John Wick 1. The villain's son is drinking an expensive bottle of alcohol and his bodyguard takes it away from him, and he starts yelling "BRING ME A BOTTLE! I WANT A BOTTLE! NOW!!! BRING ME A BOTTLE!"

At that point I thought it was just a joke because that character was supposed to be a big helpless baby. But it wasn't just a joke.

2) Did you notice that John Wick can't speak more than 3 words in a row, and almost everything he says throughout the entire series is just him repeating something that someone just said to him? In the final showdown of the first movie the following exchange takes place:

Villain: "You and me."
John Wick: "You and me."
Villain: "No more bullets."
John Wick: "No more bullets."

And then almost every single interaction that John Wick has for the rest of the series goes the same way! You know who else speaks that way? Babies who just learned how to speak.

I think his seminal line of the first film is "NOW IM ANGRY!"


3) Okay so get this, the big bad organization that runs the world and controls all of the assassins and all of the underworld? They're called "High Table." And the people who are trying to be on the secret High Table council? They are "High Chairs."

I mean come the gently caress on. These big-rear end assassin babies need highchairs? They all want the biggest high chair.

4) Look, John Wick's nickname in the criminal underworld is Baba Yaga. The Boogeyman. A monster that exists to frighten children.


5) If you want to dig deep you can start looking at things like how the entire series is about the concept of following rules - a thing that children have to do. What makes John Wick special and unique? He doesn't follow the rules - is the movie trying to say he is the only grown-up?

6) In fact, most of the rules that the criminal underworld follows are straight-up Looney Toons. There's a scene where John Wick almost dies, he is almost killed by Common - the once- A-list rapper who sold out to be a B-list movie star. Except right before he dies, they reach the hotel where no one is allowed to be mean to each other. John Wick does a dive and cartoonishly extends one fighter to just barely touch the edge of the sidewalk near the hotel's stairs. And that is enough to stop two assassins who are allegedly grown adults from killing each other? This kind of childish "gotcha" logic is used repeatedly throughout the movies.



Seriously what is the deal with this? I tried googling to look for anyone else talking about it but all I can find is articles about how intelligent and sophisticated the movies are. Don't get me wrong, they were fun to watch, but they were 3 movies about characters acting like cartoonish caricatures of stereotypical infants.

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Nuts and Gum
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
I sleep in a big bed with my guns.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Johnathan Wick

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

You know what man, we used to have like, Hong Kong action movies where dudes were crying and screaming about how much they loved their friends and would do anything for them inbetween blasting like mad, now we got all this dour poo poo where even the most emotional parts have to be massively restrained. poo poo sucks.

Dragonstoned
Jan 15, 2006

MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves

your thinking about it to much OP

people watch these films purely for the punching and shooting not the for the plot and deep "assassins lore"

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.
FBI Files: A former hitman previously associated with New York Russian mafia boss, Viggo Tarasov. Suspected of being involved in the mass executions of Russian mobsters on the East Coast. Understood to have gone dark after the massacres at the Red Circle nightclub, but drawn back into the criminal life for unknown reasons.

Wick has proven to be a highly effective weapons expert. His presence within the Payday crew is perplexing to our analysts, however. Wick has a fearsome reputation as a hitman. Therefore, why is he participating in armed robberies. Though undoubtedly offering unique skills to Crime.Net, the questions persists - why does Bain need an assassin?

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


Another thing I just realized is that the regular citizens in these movies never react to any of the shooting or killing going on around them. They don't yell or scream or run, they very explicitly and deliberately just keep going about their day as if it's not happening.


So my take on the John Wick movies now is that they take place entirely inside a child's imagination as he imagines shooting bad guys while out on a drive with his mom or something

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


Dragonstoned posted:

your thinking about it to much OP

people watch these films purely for the punching and shooting not the for the plot and "deep assassins lore"

Yeah that's my point, those people are literal infants who are watching this movie because of how infantilized it is and they don't realize it.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Me and the boys on Crime.Net with our AOL Online subscriptions

Dragonstoned
Jan 15, 2006

MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves

deep dish peat moss posted:

Another thing I just realized is that the regular citizens in these movies never react to any of the shooting or killing going on around them. They don't yell or scream or run, they very explicitly and deliberately just keep going about their day as if it's not happening.


So my take on the John Wick movies now is that they take place entirely inside a child's imagination as he imagines shooting bad guys while out on a drive with his mom or something

Every single person in the world seems to be in the assassins club


(also assassin is a good word because it has two rear end's)

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Me and the boys on Crime.Net with our AOL Online subscriptions

Wick is portrayed by "himself", as noted in the credits. For whatever reason, the in-game Wick has a personality that is substantially different from his movie self, being a great deal more vocal, impatient and violent in stark contrast to his professionally calm, quiet and focused nature depicted in the film.

Because of how player interaction with NPCs in the game works, Wick is depicted as an uncharacteristically menacing and oppressive individual when ordering civilians to stay low. While his movie self does not shy from starting loud firefights in public places, he would actively try to ignore civilians or politely tell them to flee in order to minimize innocent casualties and focus more on the target(s).

Defenistrator
Mar 27, 2007
Ask me about my burritos
Wait till you watch and see what they do in Boss Baby. It's gonna blow your mind.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
John Wick is a bad and immoral film you shouldn't murder like a 100 dudes cause someone shot you're dog

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


Dragonstoned posted:

Every single person in the world seems to be in the assassins club


(also assassin is a good word because it has two rear end's)

That's what I thought too, but in the scene where Neo fights Common, they walk through a mall or something just casually shooting at each other without looking or without making a scene. If all those people were assassins, they would have also been trying to kill John Wick, or they would at least know to get out of there to avoid being shot.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Defenistrator posted:

Wait till you watch and see what they do in Boss Baby. It's gonna blow your mind.

Employer Infant

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

deep dish peat moss posted:

That's what I thought too, but in the scene where Neo fights Common, they walk through a mall or something just casually shooting at each other without looking or without making a scene. If all those people were assassins, they would have also been trying to kill John Wick, or they would at least know to get out of there to avoid being shot.

That scene was so loving bad lol

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

BINFORD! BINFORD!
I can't shut the fuck up about BINFORD TOOLS!
People keep asking me if I'm a baby and I haven't really really had an answer, but yeah, I'm thinkin I'm a baby

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.

Colonel Cancer posted:

John Wick is a bad and immoral film you shouldn't murder like a 100 dudes cause someone shot you're dog

Saint Francis
Complete the Bank Heist job after finding the 2 punks in the parking lot and bringing them next to the van, without letting them get away or die on the OVERKILL difficulty or above.

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


Smugworth posted:

People keep asking me if I'm a baby and I haven't really really had an answer, but yeah, I'm thinkin I'm a baby

:hmmyes:

Dragonstoned
Jan 15, 2006

MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves

deep dish peat moss posted:

That's what I thought too, but in the scene where Neo fights Common, they walk through a mall or something just casually shooting at each other without looking or without making a scene. If all those people were assassins, they would have also been trying to kill John Wick, or they would at least know to get out of there to avoid being shot.

Its set in America isn't it? people are used to that kind of thing over there, random shootings are as common as clouds

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Kate is a much better movie about hitmen (and women!)

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

The Boss Baby had John Wick killed

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

The Boss Baby had John Wick killed

Due to his Excommunicado status as of John Wick Chapter Two, he has since been summarily barred from many Continental services and locations worldwide and his membership revoked, in addition to him being hunted by many assassins, some of which are even employees of the hotel. As such, it's rather unusual why his and the other heisters' coins are still valid.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.
Wick's default "mask" is a pair of glasses called The Collateral, which is odd since his movie counterpart never sports eyewear of any kind throughout the first movie. The "mask" here was added seemingly because a PAYDAY heister has to have a mask no matter what.

Initially, The Collateral is the only default heister "mask" to have neither a standalone nor a "Begins" variant. The standalone version has been added to the game in an update as an Infamous-grade item, though there is still no "Begins" one to be found.
Wick also does not wear gloves of any kind throughout the entirety of the first film, preferring to go barehanded for maximum precision. As was the case with his "mask", Wick's model was created with gloves on just so that he does not look out of place among the crew, and that it makes his viewmodel much simpler to create, being a mere retexture of the generic male heister arms.

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


I will say that the John Wick movie that's about Bob Odenkirk instead of Keanu Reeves was better, and it didn't have all the infantilism in it which makes me think that it's done intentionally in John Wick

Defenistrator
Mar 27, 2007
Ask me about my burritos

Spoilers.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

EorayMel posted:

Saint Francis
Complete the Bank Heist job after finding the 2 punks in the parking lot and bringing them next to the van, without letting them get away or die on the OVERKILL difficulty or above.

Idk wtf that means, is it one of them newfangled arcades all the youngsters are crazy about

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Idk wtf that means, is it one of them newfangled arcades all the youngsters are crazy about

Wick's in-game character makes several shout-outs to other roles by Keanu Reeves:

The "ageless physique" mentioned in his biography is a reference to an internet joke that Keanu Reeves is "immortal". This joke is explained in detail here.
Wick's pager answers are also laden with "woah!"s, as a reference to Reeves' memetic lack of emotion in most of his movies.
His reviving line "You look like you've been to hell and back." may be a reference to the Keanu Reeves film Constantine, in which he plays a demon hunter who has been to hell and then back to Earth.
Wick may mention a pair of old partners named William and Theodore when spoken to in his room, which is a reference to the Bill & Ted film series, in which Keanu Reeves plays the latter.

One of his quotes start with "You have no idea the damage I can do with a pen...". This is a reference to a scene in the first movie where Viggo Tarasov, the crime lord Wick used to work for, mentions a past occasion where he (Wick) once killed three men in a bar with just a pencil.

Additionally, Wick may also take a life in the name of his deceased pet dog ("That one was for Daisy.")

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Skank Job (John Wick)

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Skank Job (John Wick)

While based on Keanu Reeves's character in the movie of the same name, the in-game Wick only loosely resembles the in-movie character; furthermore, Reeves himself was not given credits for the portrayal. This can be either due to the actor not being available for the job at the time of character creation, was too expensive to provide voice acting, had scheduling conflicts, or that he refused to lend his likeness to the heister and the developers had to make do with someone else.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Ron Dick

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.
Con Trick

Defenistrator
Mar 27, 2007
Ask me about my burritos
Jon wick, but he loving dies.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Ronnie James Wick

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

pretty compelling arguments op. maybe that explains why those movies do absolutely nothing for me, because it's basically a modern retelling of Rugrats

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

kalel posted:

pretty compelling arguments op. maybe that explains why those movies do absolutely nothing for me, because it's basically a modern retelling of Rugrats

Thugrats

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


Lawrence Fishburn's character, who was modeled after Pigeon Man from Hey Arnold, says the phrase "Cut to the quick" to John Wick

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tzSjtuMGOQ

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.


kalel posted:

pretty compelling arguments op. maybe that explains why those movies do absolutely nothing for me, because it's basically a modern retelling of Rugrats

Rugrats: All Gear'd Up

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EorayMel
May 29, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Franšais.
John Pop

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