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Personally my wife is the food spiller. She spills things constantly and basically cannot eat a mill without dumping poo poo on herself. It's pretty loving hilarious especially after being together for so long. I cannot look at her after spilling something without her going "YOU ARE JUDGING ME!!!!" So who's the food spiller in your house. Who can't eat without dumping half the plate on themselves
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Jan 28, 2023 03:12
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| # ? Mar 21, 2023 13:22 |
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My s/o once failed so hard at eating a sushi roll that the chef had to leave the room
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Jan 28, 2023 03:15
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I spill food occasionally. Usually drinks. I'll knock a loving drink off the table. I spilled an entire wine glass on one of our friends because the table was not bolted down and I didn't realize it. I completely covered her in wine. My wife chastises me about it every time we are out with her it's a lol. I also spilled a bottle of wine I had just purchased. I went og thank you and pushed it off the table while trying to tip a waiter. It shattered. I got a new bottle for free (probably because of the tip). But it was embarrassing. I feel like everyone will think I'm stupid as gently caress when I audibly drop something. WAR CRIME GIGOLO fucked around with this message at 03:27 on Jan 28, 2023 |
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Jan 28, 2023 03:21
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i am one step down from the little brother in A Christmas Story
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Jan 28, 2023 03:26
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i don't spill food but i do exclusively use cups with lids because i'm guaranteed to knock them over onto my keyboard at some point
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Jan 28, 2023 03:29
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I’m the food spiller. I do not have a partner anymore. I’m just the food spiller.
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Jan 28, 2023 04:06
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I’ve cooked really good food for people who just roll it up and stuff it down the front of their shirt. Really loving pisses me off.
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Jan 28, 2023 04:10
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I made sure to get solely plastic cups and indestructible ceramic plates. I don't have any glass in the house basically..we use plastic everything or ceramic. A few wine glasses of course but no glass. Because I knock them over or drop them.
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Jan 28, 2023 04:13
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I’m constantly vacuuming crumbs out of the couch that my girlfriend spilled, but I’m the one that spills drinks, so it evens out.
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Jan 28, 2023 04:24
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MoonshineWilly posted:I’m constantly vacuuming crumbs out of the couch that my girlfriend spilled, but I’m the one that spills drinks, so it evens out. gently caress dude that gets it. It does even out. Unless she's wearing something White it's a lot worse when I spill a drink because it's usually spectacular like shattering a glass of wine at a tasting or something. There's a picture my wife has of a waitress gasping as I dump a really expensive bottle of wine over the table the bottles like mid-flight when the picture was taken. (Didn't get a second one for free that sucked) her hands out Infront of her trying to save it like it's a small child
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Jan 28, 2023 04:26
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My wife bought us matching bibs
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Jan 28, 2023 15:11
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I haven’t got a partner, but my elderly cat occasionally knocks over my drink because he’s blind. I still love the fucker, though 
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Jan 28, 2023 15:17
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Both of us tbh I have permanent scars from dropping a bowl of Ramen on my lap But he keeps leaving cheetos on the couch
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Jan 28, 2023 15:19
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That's a hell of a story Naruto
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Jan 28, 2023 15:30
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Wife and all the Italians in her family. They decimate napkins while eating and food flies all over the place. They even use a spoon when eating pasta and it still doesn't help.
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Jan 28, 2023 15:33
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My Wifes a Fucken Dumbass
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Jan 28, 2023 16:44
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i'm sorry, my wife and i do not subscribe to toxic and outdated relationship tropes. we work hard at maintaining an egalitarian marriage where both of us contribute 50/50 to making a huge mess and getting food absolutely everywhere
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Jan 28, 2023 16:53
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OP just admitted to being the shlemazel
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Jan 28, 2023 17:19
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Don't look up when the family is eating crab or corn
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Jan 28, 2023 17:32
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Get a dog so you are no longer the food spiller, but instead the pet feeder.
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Jan 28, 2023 17:33
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Learn to juggle your food like Mr. Bean
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Jan 28, 2023 17:34
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Me, but not much. I'm also pretty careful but I eat a lot of crumbly foods like fried chicken and stuff.
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Jan 28, 2023 17:35
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You should eat all your meals whilst reclined like a Roman patrician. That way anything you drop isn't on the floor!
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Jan 28, 2023 17:37
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when my wife and children spill something i simply catch it in my mouth with the reflexes of a cat and put it back on the plate/bowl/cup/etc
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Jan 28, 2023 17:58
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im single OP 
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Jan 28, 2023 18:35
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:im single OP Netflix n spill food?
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Jan 28, 2023 18:43
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Never ever put anything metal into a blender.
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Jan 28, 2023 18:45
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My Second Re-Reg posted:My s/o once failed so hard at eating a sushi roll that the chef had to leave the room lol
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Jan 28, 2023 19:58
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Zeluth posted:Never ever put anything metal into a blender. that's just good advice in general
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Jan 28, 2023 20:43
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i'm pretty good at eating food. you could say even excellent but when i eat soup my shirts get destroyed andi dont know how, especially if it has noodles like pho. it's a loving crime scene let me tell you.
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Jan 28, 2023 22:06
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I’ve never spilled a drop nor morsel of precious sustenance op
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Jan 28, 2023 23:00
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There's only three things I eat like a delicious mess: Pussy Dick rear end 
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Jan 28, 2023 23:24
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Me, I'm worse than the kids are
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Jan 28, 2023 23:52
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Cabbages and Kings posted:Me, I'm worse than the kids are lol
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Jan 28, 2023 23:55
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IShallRiseAgain posted:Get a dog so you are no longer the food spiller, but instead the pet feeder. This. I’m about to move in with someone who has a bunch of dogs and I’m thinking,”Yay! Now I don’t have to vacuum or sweep after I eat while watching tv!” Of course, this won’t work in the downstairs apartment since my cats will be there, so her dogs will likely not be. I’m pretty sure tv trays make my food mess worse while also causing me to eat like I am a food aggressive dog, making sure nobody is gonna take my food away. Bored fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Jan 28, 2023 |
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Jan 28, 2023 23:56
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Just get ants and or rats, they'll clean up for you!
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Jan 29, 2023 00:04
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When I'm cooking I'll usually end up splashing something on the back of the stove because my big spoons are pretty old and floppy, but no, unless I'm drunk or doing something dumb like trying to hold an entire slice of pizza with just my mouth while I can do something else, I'm not spilling food. I'm 20+ years past a high-chair.
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Jan 29, 2023 00:11
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Bored posted:This. I’m about to move in with someone who has a bunch of dogs and I’m thinking,”Yay! Now I don’t have to vacuum or sweep after I eat while watching tv!” Of course, this won’t work in the downstairs apartment since my cats will be there, so her dogs will likely not be. I have three dogs and while I love them dearly I could do without the 5 eyes drilling into me whenever I eat.
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Jan 29, 2023 00:13
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I have three dogs and while I love them dearly I could do without the 5 eyes drilling into me whenever I eat. 3 dogs and 5 eyes? What happened to your one dog?
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Jan 29, 2023 00:15
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I'm literally sitting on chex mix crumbs and detritus that the puppy demolished. She also set tin foil on microwave fire two days ago, gonna have to clean that poo poo out too. Less spilling and more holy gently caress you moron you're going to kill us all. Still miss her every minute she's gone. The power of love.Roumba posted:When I'm cooking I'll usually end up splashing something on the back of the stove because my big spoons are pretty old and floppy, but no, unless I'm drunk or doing something dumb like trying to hold an entire slice of pizza with just my mouth while I can do something else, I'm not spilling food. I'm 20+ years past a high-chair. Simply get high, cook a frozen pizza, and then forget about it for ten hours. All the carbon monoxide poisoning, none of the mess. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Jan 29, 2023 |
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Jan 29, 2023 00:17
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