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I'm legally not sane enough to be trusted with firearms.
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Jan 31, 2023 21:37
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goatface posted:I'm legally not sane enough to be trusted with firearms. You legally a bitch. Draft effective immediately
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Jan 31, 2023 21:38
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Well, when I snap in week 3 of boot camp and Pvt. Pyle it up, they will only have themselves to blame.
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Jan 31, 2023 21:42
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when they call me up i'll simply not go and tell them i really wanted to be there but i got held up in traffic you know what it's like works every time
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Jan 31, 2023 21:42
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Also, I agree with the Finns.
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Jan 31, 2023 21:44
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My draft-age son is half Dominican and it’s 45 minutes to Santo Domingo by air and a few hours by sea. I’m too old to draft, but I had my father’s Canadian citizenship in my back pocket just in case.
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Jan 31, 2023 21:54
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Join the Coast Guard as a marine resupply logistics tech, all of the fun of a boring rear end day job, zero chance of being shot at, and you're exempt from the draft because you're already in the 'armed forces' and because everyone in your building pops hot for coke constantly.
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Jan 31, 2023 22:00
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Wall Balls posted:when they call me up i'll simply not go and tell them i really wanted to be there but i got held up in traffic you know what it's like That's how you get jury duty
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Jan 31, 2023 22:02
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Will there be a mining conscription to dig coal for our hungry war machine?
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Jan 31, 2023 22:05
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Volunteer for the Forlorn hope - those who return will have surely gained victory and the chance at a coveted promotion
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Jan 31, 2023 23:16
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Colonel Cancer posted:
dick from the used car dealer just outside the base? sure, if you want i guess
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Jan 31, 2023 23:22
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beer gas canister posted:-Grow a gross beard and pretend you're already in the Special Forces. Wear an ACOG sight on a necklace to show your cred It's this one OP. The trick is to thousand yard stare at the camera and say things like "the forest wants to eat you alive - and that's before The Enemy even knows you're there" If you live somewhere warm, wear shorts and sandals and you're home free my goon
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Jan 31, 2023 23:33
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my transness is highly contagious i mean i know they're trying to do better on that stuff but i'm serious, leave me in a room with the recruiter and by the time i leave they'll be ordering arm socks and cat ear hairbands on their phone
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Jan 31, 2023 23:46
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Declare yourself a free person of the land and that they are hindering your ability to be free.
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Jan 31, 2023 23:51
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Join the Coast Guard as a marine resupply logistics tech, all of the fun of a boring rear end day job, zero chance of being shot at, and you're exempt from the draft because you're already in the 'armed forces' and because everyone in your building pops hot for coke constantly. this is how i'd do it Rockman Reserve posted:my transness is highly contagious it do be like that and it'd work
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Jan 31, 2023 23:56
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Well you just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan.
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Feb 1, 2023 08:54
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Be old. Also, 
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Feb 1, 2023 09:06
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Looks like it’s time to get into Dodgeistan. I for one would watch a Toy Story marathon right before my MEPS appointment and cry constantly. Doctor: Why can’t you serve? Me: Woody’s all ALOOONE!!! a bloo bloo
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Feb 2, 2023 13:03
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Is anybody even under 25 anymore? I thought that went out of style years ago.
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Feb 2, 2023 13:30
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AKA Pseudonym posted:Is anybody even under 25 anymore? I thought that went out of style years ago. It's somewhat popular with zoomers
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Feb 2, 2023 15:39
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have we considered handling enlistment on the block chain? should solve a lot of the problems itt (perhaps all of them?)
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Feb 2, 2023 16:02
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Send you're apes to war
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Feb 2, 2023 16:04
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I would rather chop my own dicknballs off than fight Finns in a war, those people are legitimately insane semi-human sauna monsters. They’ve evolved to live without sun, warmth, or conversation. They speak an alien tongue with no earthly roots. You go against Metal Gear Suomi, you die. So I guess I’m going to start crossdressing and assume my dead mother’s identity until this all blows over (or up).
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Feb 2, 2023 17:24
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If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a draft
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Feb 2, 2023 17:27
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Apes to War is my band’s name
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Feb 2, 2023 17:40
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I'm going to fist myself
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Feb 2, 2023 17:45
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What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge the draft? No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.
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Feb 2, 2023 17:50
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There is no draft.
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Feb 2, 2023 18:02
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you don't have to dodge anything if you properly seal your doors and windows, saves a lot of energy too
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Feb 2, 2023 18:56
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I would simply become too old to be drafted 
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Feb 2, 2023 19:07
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i couldn't fit all the meds i take on a daily basis in my ifak
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Feb 2, 2023 19:12
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I have that disease where I can't keep the front and the back of rifles apart and it's genetic
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Feb 2, 2023 19:48
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I’ll go defensive ultra instinct and I can dodge anything then.
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Feb 2, 2023 20:39
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Hide under a cardboard box
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Feb 2, 2023 20:43
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Plan A is to try to sleep with the medical examiner at the draft shop, if he/she is hot. Plan B is to go die in the war
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Feb 2, 2023 20:43
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I'm an asymptomatic spreader like Typhoid-Mary, but with dysentery and trench foot
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Feb 2, 2023 21:00
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If you can’t Dodge it, Ram it.
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Feb 2, 2023 21:01
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It’s not new but it’s one of the few benefits of having a Serious Mental Health condition
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Feb 2, 2023 21:29
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Sorry I can’t do war with you guys I’m shy 
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Feb 3, 2023 00:34
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:51 |
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I wouldn't because I'm a patriot and I'd die for the red white and blue. God bless america 
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Feb 3, 2023 00:41
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