King Cnut

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > King Cnut

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

King Cnut (or Canute as its sometimes known) was a danish guy who conquered the british isles a thousand years ago. This was pretty easy because we were even more inbred and useless then than we are now. Being a viking who were a people reputed to actually wash and groom themselves the people of britain were rather taken in by them hence all the slander for a millenia since.

He had a pretty big empire considering the time of things and as can be clearly seen saw no value in wales or ireland as is quite right

England could really use someone civilised to come and free us from the useless fucks currently in charge imo

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:43

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 09:14

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; FART

incoming probe for trying to avoid saying the C word

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:45

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

Okay

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:45

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

More like King See Next You Tuesday

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:45

Jelly: Feb 11, 2004; Ask me about my STD collection!

King Cnut is in the Vikings: Valhalla series, which is actually quite good.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:47

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Do not allow Wessex to merge with Mercia

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:48

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:49

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

My favorite Bowie song is Queen Btcih

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:50

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:50

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Return to nirvana friend this thread is under the protection of the commonwealth of high king cnit

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:51

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

U wot m8 d�yer �av yer loiscence fer ta be da king oi m8 u takin� da piss ya daft cnut *random tooth falls out*

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:51

naem: May 29, 2011

Jelly posted:

King Cnut is in the Vikings: Valhalla series, which is actually quite good.

the first two seasons of Vikings�️ on the discovery channel were good is that show related?

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:52

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Let the man cook.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:53

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; FART

i'm the king of the swingers, the jungle VIP

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:53

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

WE have to stop the woke danish counties from destroying England

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:54

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Lol.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:54

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:

WE have to stop the woke danish counties from destroying England

They have good food though...

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:56

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:

WE have to stop the woke danish counties from destroying England

no we must let them

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:57

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

There's an Irish saint named Saint F�ch�n pronounced feckin', which is Irish for fuckin'. He's not well liked.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:57

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Well good news is none of our moderators are dyslexic

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:57

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; FART

if a dane tries to take me over i swear to god i'll do time

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:58

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

is this guy the reason why they call every dessert a pudding?

if so gently caress king cnut!

# ? Mar 2, 2023 20:58

Jelly: Feb 11, 2004; Ask me about my STD collection!

naem posted:

the first two seasons of Vikings�️ on the discovery channel were good is that show related?

Sounds like you're talking about Expedition Unknown.

No, this is the Netflix series. The original Vikings on Netflix followed Ragnar Lothbrook. Valhalla occurs after those events and follows Leif Erickson.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:00

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Jelly posted:

Sounds like you're talking about Expedition Unknown.

No, this is the Netflix series. The original Vikings on Netflix followed Ragnar Lothbrook. Valhalla occurs after those events and follows Leif Erickson.

No, the other poster is right. The original series is streamable on Netflix now but it was originally on the History Channel.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:22

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

oval office.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:23

naem: May 29, 2011

katheryn winnick was amazing as lagertha, great character arcs all around

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:40

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

The c is silent

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:42

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

kntfkr posted:

There's an Irish saint named Saint Féchín pronounced feckin', which is Irish for fuckin'. He's not well liked.

Why not

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:50

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

He's no f�ch�n good

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:51

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Smugworth posted:

Why not

quote:

Saint Fechin was a feckin fecker
That bigger feckers made a saint
Prayed for a plague to plague the poor:
The fecker: a saint he aint!

The least of Gods children he prayed ill for
At the behest of a cruel king
Who thought the poor too much in number
Showed church and state to be the same thing.

But a bittersweet justice God gave
He allowed the plague on the poor
That was prayed for by the clerics for the king
But it carried them off including this hoor!

How can a church that prays for death
For the poor call itself pro life to this day?
Gods name they shamelessly took in vein
Up to now an apology they refuse to say!

So on January 20th let us remember
Saint Fechin the fecker from Fore
Showed how church and king are the same thing
Let us call Fechin a feckin saint no more!

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:52

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

naem posted:

katheryn winnick was amazing as lagertha, great character arcs all around

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:53

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Yo momma

# ? Mar 2, 2023 21:58

Toxic Mental: Jun 1, 2019

I wanna C him Nut :cumpolice:

# ? Mar 2, 2023 22:04

Futanari Damacy: Oct 30, 2021; by sebmojo

C-Nut is my rap name

# ? Mar 2, 2023 22:18

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

yung nutt

# ? Mar 2, 2023 22:25

Dumb Sex-Parrot: Dec 25, 2020

he's the guy who confused all the lords and ladies with his failed attempt to stop the tide

# ? Mar 2, 2023 22:27

Genesplicer: Oct 19, 2002; I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!; Total Clam

My favorite quote from a professor was from my linguistics prof who said: "English is the result of Viking warriors attempting to pick up Saxon barmaids."

# ? Mar 2, 2023 22:33

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

anyone who cares enough about history to know who this guy is, can suck my cock.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 2, 2023 23:14

Bloopsy: Jun 1, 2006; you have been visited by the Tasty Garlic Bread. you will be blessed by having good Garlic Bread in your life time, but only if you comment "ty garlic bread" in the thread below

Hell Yeah posted:

anyone who cares enough about history to know who this guy is, can suck my cock.

I have no idea who this guy is but he's an old white guy from europe so likely racist as gently caress.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 23:21

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 09:14

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

Racism wasn�t invented until 1843 no idea what you�re on about

# ? Mar 2, 2023 23:38

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